cloudyeol

[cloudyeol]

A nerdy bookworm or a shiny-armored knight?

Kim Sungyeol, aged 22, ex-idol and now actor on television dramas and musicals. He is a puzzle unsolved, mystery with no clues but he is loyal and he does his best for anyone once he trusts them.

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[cloudyeol]

'jealous' sentence meme

❝ i don't like the way he's/she's looking at you. ❞

❝ i'm starting to think you want him/her, too. ❞

❝ am i crazy? ❞

❝ have i lost ya'? ❞

❝ even thought i know you love me, can't help it. ❞

❝ i turn my chin music up, and i'm puffing my chest. ❞

❝ i'm getting red in the face. ❞

❝ you can call me obsessed. ❞

❝ it's not your fault that they hover. ❞

❝ i mean no disrespect. ❞

❝ it's my right to be hellish. ❞

❝ i still get jealous. ❞

❝ 'cause you're too fucking beautiful. ❞

❝ everybody wants a taste. ❞

❝ everybody want's your sex. ❞

❝ that's why i still get jealous. ❞

❝ i wish you didn't have to post it all. ❞

❝ i wish you'd save a little bit for me. ❞

❝ protective or possessive, yeah. ❞

❝ call it passive or aggressive. ❞

❝ you're the only one invited. ❞

❝ i said there's no one else for you. ❞

❝ 'cause you know i get excited when you get jealous, too. ❞

[cloudyeol]

I know having a bf/gf etc isnt important but when no one crushes on u u cant help but wonder “whats wrong with me ” “maybe im meaner than i thought” “how ugly AM i” “its because of my body its totally my body” i think its only natural as humans that we seek approval it kind of sucks

[cloudyeol]

I’m sorry. Sometimes I just don’t really feel like talking.

(via chiaso)

[cloudyeol]

‘Yes, I am stubborn! This is the man you used to love- you apparently still love! I have always been this way! I didn’t change because nothing prompted me to do that, everything worked against me and do you know? If I don’t have my stubbornness, I have nothing! You also should know why I’ll never forgive you- because you disappear with wind, you break up with me over nothing and you reappear with the same wind you left, just expecting to pick up the pieces you left! I changed, Alia, I changed because of you, because of what you did to me and I regret it, I regret you and I!’

He watches her as she stalks closer, his breath quickening due to his fury; he wants to kiss this anger out of her and he just wants to push her away and live away from her. He knows he can’t do either of these but he itches to touch her, his hands flexing unconsciously. He looks right into her eyes, not looking away and not moving away as she looked straight at him. His voice falls into a whisper as he talks again.

‘You made a mistake, but not only you suffered from it. I’m not a toy you can pick up whenever you feel like.’

"You are the most stubborn man I ever had met! I can apologize a million times and I could love you so purely and whole but you will never let me forget that?! I made a mistake and I did you wrong and I suffered for it! What more do you want from me? Tell me! Because there has to be something to make you react this way! Come on, tell me what would make you happy?!

She moves toward him until they're standing centimeters apart. Her stance challenging him with hurt and wild fury, staring him down with her watery orbs. She's not quite sure what will happen or what will be resolved. But something has to give. Because its the same old and tired song from them both. How much abuse can they both take?

[cloudyeol]

[cloudyeol]

                                                     Let them look, I have nothing to hide.

Kang Seokjae, 22, flower shop owner and bass guitarist.

original character, open for interaction, reblog, follow, lit/illit.

[cloudyeol]

‘You’re really dumb if you think I’m leaving.’

He replied with an unimpressed glare, stepping out of the room to follow the rapper. It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to stay to watch the performance anyway, but he had a better reason now. When it came to Namjoon, Sungyeol would swallow most of his stubbornness and shrug some things off but today, he was already as confused as it is and he just wanted to clear some question marks. His gaze unconsciously travelled to the other boy’s lips before he met his gaze, feeling a flsuh moving up his neck.

‘Don’t you have  stage to do? 

I’m not going to leave so make the best of your time.’

He lightly nudged the other boy, then walking towards the backstage with steady steps. He could still feel the biting kiss on his lips, along with the flush on the back of his neck. He wondered if the kiss was a distraction or-yes, he was distracted, but that didn’t mean he forgot anything. He turned his head to look at Namjoon, their gaze meeting for a brief moment.

‘Mind grabbing lunch with me?’

✿

✿ - 1: aggressive kiss

‘I don’t get it, what did I do?!’ 

Sungyeol’s voice echoed in the empty corridor of the broadcasting station, but Namjoon was intent on ignoring him and his steps got further and further away. It didn’t take long for the actor to catch up to him but he had no idea what he had done wrong. Namjoon was hot and cold, close and far away; Sungyeol just didn’t get it. The other guy just seemed to ignore him one moment and just hug him close, as close as possible, the next minute. Sungyeol’s hand grabbed the rapper’s wrist, his face scrunched up in a deep frown. 

‘What happened?

Tell me.’

The silence was Sungyeol’s answer, one he wasn’t satisfied with. He pulled the other a bit closer, stepping to stand in front of him but the silence didn’t change, no words came from Namjoon’s lips. The actor let out a sigh, he knew he couldn’t hold the other up for any longer; he had a stage to stand on. However, the actor didn’t want to let him go because whenever this topic came up, the other seemed to close up. Sungyeol had a lot to say but the other kept silent, which just made the actor angrier. He didn’t know what his mistake was and he wanted to learn. He wanted to fix everything. Just as Sungyeol opened his mouth to speak, someone else’s footsteps echoed in the corridor. The actor froze up, not really thinking before acting and pulling the other into the first room he saw. The room was dusty and probably not used very often- that could explain why it was full of unused things. The darkness of the room bothered Sungyeol but he just waited for the person outside of the room to leave. He didn’t realize that he was still holding Namjoon’s arm, his focus concentrated on the sounds coming from the corridor. It was at that moment that Namjoon freed his arm to pull the actor in, their lips barely met in the darkness and the actor let out a surprised gasp. The ‘kiss’ was everything except a kiss, it was bruising, it was harsh and painful. It didn’t take more than ten seconds for Namjoon to pull away and exit the room, leaving Sungyeol dumbfounded until he remembered what they were talking about.

‘Wait, 

you didn’t answer me!’

[cloudyeol]

His eyes snap to her when her palms hit the table, he frowns at the fury in her face. She doesn't know half of what he went through, he doesn't know what she went through so why are they doing this?

‘No one in love abandons their loved one, that’s what I know. They don’t marry someone else, they don’t build a family on their own, that’s not what love is! Love is sharing, love is being together and love is not what you did to me. Worthless, like a trash; you abandoned me. I can hold you now, I can kiss you but I can’t forget that someone has hold you the same way, I can't forget that I held other people the same way and the sole reason to that was because you let me, let us go!’

"Enough!"

She finally snapped, hands landing on the table with gusto while still feeling the sting of her palms against the wooden table. Her breath is ragged and she's doing everything to keep her fury in check. But there's so only much she can take before she retaliates as well. Her eyes glare at the male who has now retreated from her gaze and presence.

"You don't know how I feel about you! You don't! You refuse to believe it because you're a stubborn and cruel idiot! An ego boost ? You think I swallowed my pride and my shame so I can boast over how well my life is? You think I'm petty and vindictive? IN ALL THE TIME YOU'VE KNOWN ME WHEN HAVE I EVER--"

"Now you want to admit it? You still love me? Now? I wish I could hate you so I could laugh in your face."

"I love you too. And I'm trying but I can't get anywhere if you won't meet halfway. And if you won't then what I am doing here?"

[cloudyeol]

‘You are just looking for someone to attach yourself to, Alia.

I’m not the one you’re looking for.

I’m not the one you want.

You want ‘someone’. Not ‘Sungyeol.’

His voice gains a lot of edge, his eyes growing colder before he pushes himself off the table, rubbing his forehead and walking towards the kitchen. He can read her now; her body language, the way she talks, the way she tries to convince him and herself that it’s not over. She is just a memory, nothing more; he tells himself.

‘You ‘linger to cling to me’? You don’t love me, you never did.

I know that this, you coming out of nowhere, is not something you wanted.

Something prompted this, didn’t it? 

So, what happened?

Wanted an ego boost?

Here you go, then! Be my guest!

Look at this tall idiot who never ceases to ridicule himself because he can’t stop loving this one girl!’

“But I do! I believe it will better! That this–you and I, will be better. I believe in second chances and doing right by others when you’ve wrong them! I believe in happiness and hope even when I don’t feel it! I’ve always been that person! So I’m asking you how could you not know that? How could you not know how hard it is not to attach myself to you like I first did. I clinged so tightly then let go, I regret that. And I’m afraid without proper anchors I’ll do that again.”

She stays silent, unsure of how to answer. She thinks perhaps its a trick. Testing her to see how she’ll respond.

“Of course I would. There are parts of me that still linger to cling to you. But I have to give you time and you have to heal. I don’t want to rush anything and ruin you further.”

She replied, not looking at him while staring at her hands.

[cloudyeol]

send me ❤ and I will bold all that applies to your muse

I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you life family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I want to kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.

inspired by here.

[cloudyeol]

‘No. It is confusing because I don’t know. 

I don’t get how you can waltz back into my life as if you never left.

I don’t get how you can think everything will be fine,

because it won’t.’

He looks up at her, his gaze just as stony as it was before. He doesn’t feel anything anger, at that moment. Acting or not, hiding his feeling or not; he doesn’t get her. He doesn’t get how she can act like she does.

‘Would you kiss me now, 

if I let you?

Would you let me hold you,

if I wanted to?’

She placed her utensils down on her plate to look at him. How could he not know? Were her intentions and sincerity not coming off clear? Kiran puffed out her cheeks, sighing when she tried to explain herself to him in the best way she knew how.

“I know. It’s confusing to me even. To want to support someone who clearly has issues with me. But I just feel–it’s the least I can do. I want to earn your friendship again. I know it will be a long time until that happens but I miss having you in my life. Don’t you know?”

[cloudyeol]

“I had good intentions, I did it for a reason.”

‘That’s good, 

that’s great!

Please explain it to my manager as well.’

[cloudyeol]

STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

“How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”

“I had good intentions, I did it for a reason.”

“We’re done. I’m done. This ends right now. You’re a monster.”

“I trusted you!”

“Is that supposed to scare me?”

“Put the knife down.”

“You were right. As per usual.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”

“You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”

“Why protect my reputation? I’m a dead man either way.”

“You think you know me, as others think they know you.”

“You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”

“Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”

“I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”

“Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”

“I was prepared for anything, except for what ensued.”

“The story lingers on, but the version that is drawn is twisted,.”

“You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”

“How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”

“I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”

“There are two sides to every story.”

“When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”

“What made me think that I could get away with such a plot?”

“Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”

“Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”

“When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”

“I’ll never be a hero.”

“How much money do you have on you?”

“Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”

“Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”

“For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

“I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”

“I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”

“If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”

“I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”

“Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”

“I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”

“Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”

“If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”

“Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”

“Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”

“We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”

“So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”

“My dog licks better than you do.”

“But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”

“I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”

“And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”

“I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”

“This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”

“I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”

“Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”

“A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”

“Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”

“Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”

“Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”

“I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”

“I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”

“I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

“What is that!?”

“Oh my god, were you shot!?”

“Give me the gun. Now.”

“Hello? Anyone in there?”

FOR TEXTERS;

[text] This is upsetting.

[text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.

[text] She said that to you? Why?

[text] Please come back. I miss you.

[text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?

[text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.

[text] …did you just send me a nude?

[text] I don’t know why I said that.

[text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.

[text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.

[text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?

[text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.

[text] Please. I need this so badly.

[text] I trust you completely.

[text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.

[text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.

[text] She lost it. She completely lost it.

[text] Please? I love you.

[text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.

[text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.

[text] I never meant to hurt you.

[text] You’re cute.

[text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.

[text] Fuck off.

[text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.

[text] Why should I believe you?

[cloudyeol]

‘It’s not better this way either.’

He admitted in return, his voice silent. He let go of the utensils and ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment. He felt frustrated but he just couldn’t get over it, a run would be nice, a nice jog to let go of his stress but she was there. He didn’t trust her as he used to. He didn’t know her like he used to, as well. Admitting that to himself took more of him than he expected.

‘You- I really don’t get you.

Why now? You didn’t have any problems not supporting me before.’

“I wish I could act that way. Just not be me. It would have saved me a lot of stress.”

She admitted with a soft sigh. Kiran was always known to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Break down and cry when a stronger person would have bottle it up inside. The only act she could ever pull off was being an ordinary citizen when she was so much more. But even that performance was becoming lackluster, people left and right knowing and then leaving. But that was another story for later.

“But I want to. Really. I want to cheer you on and support you in anyway possible.”

She replied, looking down at her quarter empty plate before back up at him.

[cloudyeol]

성열

[cloudyeol]

‘I guess I have always been good at acting as something I’m not.

It did work on my favor, in that manner.’

He drops his gaze to his plate, eating slowly; his appetite seems to have disappeared and he just plays with the food on his plate. He doesn’t feel like this is real. He thinks real Alia wouldn’t sit there like everything was okay. She had already given up on him anyway. He was lost, he was on his own and she wasn’t there. It takes him a moment for him to brush the dark thoughts off, and he replies with a shrug.

‘You don’t have to watch anything.’

“I think it’s worked in your favor. You definitely have the skill. If I didn’t know better–if I weren’t so foolhearted. I’d think you’d hate me. But I know better. I know you. You’re mad. But you don’t hate me.

Kiran smiled, chuckling as she ate more of her food happily. Her deep and chocolate brown eyes gazing at him in contemplation and regard while a sense of understanding of who he is now and who he then–coming bright and boldly to her.

"I am glad. You have something that makes you content. I’m going to watch everything you’re in–faithfully.”