claresbabyblog

[claresbabyblog]

Being pregnant was both the hardest and best time of my life so far. Same goes for looking after a newborn and now a toddler.

I really want another one.

Think we’ll start trying for a second towards the end of the year 🤞

[claresbabyblog]

I’ve decided that I definitely made the wrong decision to move schools.

Looking back it seemed like the right thing to do, I was excited about it, I was so keen for the short journey time and to have my own class. Unfortunately those things just aren’t anything compared to the people and work ethic that my last school had.

Im writing this here because it feels good to write it somewhere. To admit to it. Yes, there are several reasons why the move was and is still good but unfortunately I’m not happy and I think about my last school every single day. The children, the staff, the friends, the families. It’s so much more than just a job. Now I feel like I need to see my current school as “just a job” to pay the bills.

I hope in time that will change but so far it feels so far away from feeling like a second home for me and I believe that’s almost what school should feel like - for the staff and the children.

There’s nothing I can do except perhaps one day try and return to my old school. Or get back out at least into a much bigger (non faith) school. I’ve taught in faith schools before and it didn’t bother me but I was younger then (new to teaching too) and now it kind of bothers me. I don’t believe in god . Anyway, In the meantime I’ve got to make the most of where I am and not dwell or worry about it. I made the decision and now I can say that after all my excitement it was the wrong decision, that’s ok.

[claresbabyblog]

I have to go for a meeting after work tomorrow night, about 45 minutes away from home.

Come on snow please!!!!! Let’s get this thing cancelled!

[claresbabyblog]

I’ve started Talkig Therapies for my anxiety. I’m doing CBT again as I did years ago but it’s online with a weekly phone call.

So far so good. I only wish I’d done it months ago.

My new school want me to come in tomorrow to help sort the outside area. It’s half term and despite saying I probably could I’m not going, my mental health is more important. Time with my gorgeous son is more important.

Here’s a photo, this mirror makes me a bit longer, making my head look a bit stretched!

[claresbabyblog]

Hello!

I’ve not posted here for a very long time.

I’ve just come to vent about my weight. After Christmas I’m going to start running again. I’m also staring up yoga on Thursday night which will be really nice. But running as my main weightloss tool, and being careful about what I eat - because I really haven’t been at all lately.

I only need to lose about a stone. I can do that. If I can lose 10lbs I’ll be pleased but if I can keep going and lose a whole stone I’ll be very happy. I can walk to my new job too - I’ll probably only walk once or twice a week but it all adds up.

Running will likely only be once or twice a week - it’s hard to have the time to do it!

Merry Christnas! Here’s William - coming up to 15 months 😱

[claresbabyblog]

Just in case anyone is reading this and wants to know...

WE ARE MOVING HOUSE!

On Friday! 😱

[claresbabyblog]

Well I think this has been one of the most depressing half terms I’ve ever had.

My sister in law’s father in law died on Tuesday. He’s been ill for a long time and suffered from multiple strokes.

Graeme’s Grandma died today - she was diagnosed with dementia years ago so it’s been a long time coming. She was having palliative care for the last week.

My nephew’s dog was put down yesterday.

A friend’s son was in a bike accident on Monday and has a brain injury.

William had his 1 year injections, he had a horrible fever overnight and then was sick yesterday.

You couldn’t make it up. Honestly we just want some good news 🙏🏻

[claresbabyblog]

We got his first proper walking shoes!! Also got his first professional photo that was taken at tumble tots on his first birthday 😍 AND this week should really and truly be the end of our nearly 7 month wait on the house move. We will know if we are moving or not. If we’re not then that is the end of it and although we’ll be very upset, at least we won’t be stuck waiting anymore 😩

[claresbabyblog]

Bad things come in 3s

William is very poorly with a horrible cough and cold.

Our house move is going to be an utter miracle if it happens now.

My parents in-law had to have their dog put down this morning 😭

What a rubbish time.

[claresbabyblog]

Buuuuuuut among all the house crap my gorgeous boy turned 1 yesterday 😍 and he took his best steps ever 😍 he’s almost a walker 😍😱

[claresbabyblog]

You know when you’ve been waiting to move house for 6 months and then it’s all about to go to shit and then people at work make stupid suggestions that wind you up because they have no fucking idea about what exactly is going on. And you don’t want to talk about it because every time you do you want to cry.

That.

And “oh I know how you feel, when we moved house blah blah blah....”

This is nothing like when you fucking moved house. Fuck off and stfu. ARRRRRRGH.

I actually cried out of sheer anger and frustration from the whole bloody thing today.

I just want to move house. It feels like there’s a 98% chance it won’t happen now.

[claresbabyblog]

Once again, I'm not a freakin' doctor.

[claresbabyblog]

Need to act on my weight now.

I’m not losing anymore and lately I’ve been eating so much. Lots of crisps and chocolate - “treats” in the evenings.

Pretty sure I'm just gaining weight now!

Needs to stop. Need to get into some proper exercise again and watch what I’m eating more carefully. I don’t want to go down the calorie counting road again because although it has worked for me it also makes me utterly miserable. Hopefully I can make good choices on my own. Maybe I should do a workout video again though - any suggestions to fight the fat (especially my belly!) on YouTube?

[claresbabyblog]

My little bubba is almost 10 months old!!!

I think we’re getting very close to only having 2 feeds a day 😲 (plus 1 or 2 night feeds).

I don’t believe this “sleeping through the night” thing exists 😂

I love him so much 😊😍

He’s crawling and climbing on everything now! But he also claps on demand and gives kisses too, big slobbery kisses, best thing in the world 😄

[claresbabyblog]

Really just feeling a bit shit right now. So I've finished my first 3 weeks back at work. Off for the summer now until September. I've been teaching in classes all over the school and had no PPA time (which legally I should have). Seeing as I didn't have any paperwork as I didn't have my own class I didn't complain. Anyway, I'm feeling like crap on a shoe because no one has said thank you to me. Not the head, deputy head, nor a single member of the senior leadership team. That stinks. I saw the head handing out cards to everyone today and I didn't get one. That's ok, I've not been back long, but a verbal thank you would have been nice. I don't expect anything but a simple thank you. Returning to work after a baby is a huge deal regardless of when you go back or how often you work. I just feel very under appreciated rn. 😶

[claresbabyblog]

Yesterday a new girl started at work and I sad I'd just come back from maternity leave. She told me she was in the same boat as she'd just finished her old job. No love, we're in very different fucking boats 😂

[claresbabyblog]

The reality of going back to work!