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citylights-ah · 5 months ago

Text

Golden

Part 1/2

Characters: Reader x Baekhyun

Genre: College AU, Baekhyun as an adorable art student and campus heartthrob, shy OC, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, angst, eventual smut

WC: 8.3k

Warnings: Harassment, alcohol consumption

Masterlist

The streets of Seoul set your mind ablaze in all their bright, manicured chaos.

It had been three years since your first time in the city, but again it sucked you right in without as much as a glimpse of hesitation. Not unlike you with a bowl of your favorite ramyun.

The American midwest had its charms, if you looked hard enough, but your eyes were getting tired. The city had always been more your speed, and Seoul was, in your mind, the absolute best there was. When the opportunity finally came to spend your last year of college at Korea University you eagerly took it.

No matter the area, the time of day, or one's specific interests, there was always a good chance that something uniquely enticing was just around the corner, waiting to be discovered. Getting bored wasn’t an option, even for those who might crave it every now and then.

Patience, like boredom, was not on the menu in Seoul either. Ppalli-ppalli is what they call it, ‘quickly-quickly, the culture that drives the city to cater perfectly to the needs of those as antsy, or really just anxious, as yourself. It’s hard to overthink for hours when there is so much constantly changing and happening around you, demanding your attention. You found that profoundly comforting.

Independence had always been a strength of yours, so the first several weeks flew by, but by the third week, and then the fourth, even you got a little lonely.

After a few years studying the language, your Korean was decent. Passable. But fluent, you were not. Ordering in restaurants, reading directions and street signs, that was no problem, but having to make any kind of meaningful conversation was humbling, to say the least.

It was a relief to finally get a roommate, Heejin, another senior at the university. She was thrilled to practice her English with you, and you your Korean with her.

Before you knew it the semester was starting, and right on your first day of classes, you noticed him. Surrounded by a large group of friends all laughing together, he was at the center in all his beauty.

It would be hard not to notice him, really, given his clothing. They were unusually colorful, in contrast to the muted neutrals most Koreans favor, and were often dotted with what looked like paint stains, mainly shades of yellow and gold. In the crowded lecture hall, he was a sliver of sunlight against the sea of black, brown, and gray.

He wore round glasses, which framed kind, puppy-like eyes the color of your favorite chocolate. The dark curls of his hair were perfectly fluffy, and his lips perfectly pink. Moles and freckles decorated his nose and cheeks generously.

You struggled not to stare. He was just so pretty. Especially when you saw him smile. Just the sight of him laughing at a joke you hadn’t even heard, brought a smile to your face.

He was shining, glowing, radiating so much warmth you’d blissfully forgotten the still looming chill of early spring.

“That’s Baekhyun, he’s a studio arts major, pretty much every girl I know has a crush on him. I get it, though, he is super cute, he seems really nice, too, though I don’t really know him myself.” Heejin told you, when you asked about him that same evening.

Against your better judgment, or any rational thought, really, you let yourself be drawn to him, taking your seat the next day in the row directly in front of his. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help it, listening in on him and his friends' conversations before class started. He was whitty, charming, and effortlessly funny, though he never made jokes at anyone else’s expense, like his friends did. He seemed like a genuinely sweet guy, just like your roommate had said. And basically every girl on campus saw it too, along with how devastatingly cute he was.

Despite feeling relatively confident in the subject matter of all your classes, you still did your best to fade into the background and avoid being called on by the professors. Trying to sound smart and confident wasn’t something your Korean skills (or still slightly fragile psyche) were up to yet.

But as fate would have it, you couldn’t avoid talking in class forever. At the end of the second week, during your last class of the day, you were called on to answer something pretty simple, yet you still ended up stumbling over your words, sounding awkward at best.

You easily picked up on the snide comments and snickers coming from the girls behind you. Back home you would’ve thrown her a mean side eye at the very least, but now you just kept your head down. Making enemies so early on here couldn’t be a good idea. Not only that, but you knew Baekhyun would be witness to all of it.

“Sumin, it took you three tries to pass elementary English, talking about someone else’s language skills is wild.”

His voice was just as lovely as the rest of him, so you didn’t even have to turn around to be sure who’d said it, but you still did. There was a small reassuring smile on his lips, and a pout on hers. He’d said it so casually, like it was nothing, but it definitely meant a hell of a lot to you.

She was gorgeous, and you’d wondered in the past if there was something going on between them. But Baekhyun didn't appear all that impressed with her, at least not the way she clearly was with him.

You kept replaying it in your mind, until finally class was over, and you headed quickly towards the door, worried you’d be hearing more rude comments.

“Hey! Y/n, right?”

“Huh?” Too shocked to fully react, you spun around to see him walking straight towards you.

“I’m Baekhyun, sorry about my friend earlier. You’re an exchange student, right?” His English was nearly perfect, the slight accent he had making him sound even more endearing.

“Yeah… Thank you, by the way. How do you know my name?”

“Well, you do kind of stand out. In a good way though.”

He was grinning, looking gorgeous as ever, even in a simple red tshirt and jeans, dotted with the usual colorful specks of paint. Now that he was standing so close to you, you got a good idea of how tall he was, and although he wasn’t the biggest, most muscular guy you’d ever seen, his shoulders were surprisingly broad, and his arms looked sturdy. As your eyes stayed glued to his form, your mind wandered off, thinking about how lovely it must feel to get a hug from him.

It occurred to you then that he must’ve asked someone about you, the same way you’d asked about him.

“I do?” You asked, starting to make your way towards the building’s exit.

“Well, yeah, there are other foreigners going here too of course, but I’m sure most of them don’t get as much attention as you.”

You blushed, not wanting to read into it too deeply, but you wondered if that was his way of telling you that he thought you were cute.

“I don’t know about that…”

“So, where are you headed now?” He asked, holding the door as you both left the building.

“Back to my dorm, that was my last class of the day.”

“Same, can I walk with you?”

“Sure, it’s a little far though.”

He shrugged, “I don't mind.”

As he accompanied you across campus, you couldn’t help but wonder why he was being so nice. He seemed like a nice person, of course, but he didn’t know you at all. You weren’t even an artsy type like he was.

“You’re an art student, right? Is that why some of your clothes have paint on them?”

He nodded, a big beautiful smile on his face. “My favorite is oil paints, and they stain like crazy so now I just let it happen, I kinda like the way it looks.”

“I like it too.”

“Yeah? Maybe I could paint on your clothes too sometime.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t think I could pull it off.”

“What? Of course you could, if I can then you definitely can.” He teased, swaying slightly as he took his next step, letting his shoulder brush your own.

It was troublingly easy for him to make you blush, and you hoped he didn’t notice just how flustered he was making you, without even really doing anything.

“What about you? What's your major?”

“International business, I've wanted to move here for years, and that major was recommended to me for this exchange program.”

“Well, I'm glad you finally made it.” He grinned, warm and lovely, and if you hadn’t known better, you might’ve thought that he was flirting with you. “You're from America, right?”

You nodded.

“What made you want to move to Korea?”

“My favorite professor back in the states was Korean, she told me that she thought I would do well here, and introduced me to the culture, the language, all of it. I eventually came here for a week-long spring break thing, and ended up liking it a lot.”

Even from the outer echelons of your gaze, his smile was still bright as ever, those beautiful kind eyes fixated on you with intent. You couldn’t look back at him, not yet, your fragile heart needed time. He wondered why the architecture of the surrounding buildings suddenly became of such keen interest to you.

“What about you? Why art?”

He shrugged, “I've always been the creative type, ever since I was a kid. I can’t really imagine doing anything else at this point.”

“I'd love to see some of your work, if you'd be willing to show me.”

“Of course!” His face lit up even more, somehow, and he immediately pulled out his phone, opening up a photo album of his recent projects and handing it to you.

You assumed he’d be pretty good just based on how popular he was, but when you got a good look at some of his work, it stopped you dead in your tracks. You froze, swiping through some of the pictures, speechless.

“Do you like them?”

You let out a short laugh, more in disbelief than anything else. “Are you kidding? These are amazing, you’re so talented.”

Most of his paintings were dreamlike scenes bathed in yellow and gold, bright shapes and colors coming through in the most beautiful ways, creating so much atmosphere and movement, even just through the screen of his phone. They all depicted people, mostly women, just going about their normal lives, but the colorful and abstract nature of his style made it all so much more alluring to look at. Without a doubt, he had a real gift.

He just shrugged, “I do my best.”

You were a little disappointed to reach your dorm so soon, and have to tell him goodbye, though he assured you he would see you in class. For the first time, you actually looked forward to it, the promise of seeing him and his wonderful smile again making all of your previous uncertainty melt into comparative irrelevance.

When the next class period came around, you’d expected to hear him sit down behind you with the rest of his friends. You did hear his friends sit down, talking among themselves, but he walked right past them, sitting down next to you instead.

He started asking you about the homework, totally casual, and you had to act like you weren’t internally screaming the entire time. You acted as normal as you could, all the while feeling Sumin’s eyes like sharpened pencils stabbing into the back of your skull.

Eventually class started, and that took your mind off things at least a little, but as soon as the professor dismissed everyone Baekhyun was once again asking if he could walk you home, and of course, you agreed.

An awkward silence filled the air as you tried to find something to talk about, but just having him there next to you made you so embarrassingly shy, you could hardly think straight. As he held the door for you, that disgustingly sweet fluttering sensation filled your belly, and while familiar, you’d never experienced it to such a degree.

“Do you have a favorite painter?” You eventually blurted out. It was the first thing that came to mind, and to your relief, he seemed excited to answer.

“Yeah! I mean, there are a ton that I love, but the one I’m most inspired by in my own work is Gustav Klimt, the way he combines art nouveau, with more classical and Japanese influences, it's so cool. I try to do something similar, but with a more Korean flair. He was really controversial during his time too, but he didn’t care and just did what he liked anyway.”

“Why was he controversial?”

“Well…” He cleared his throat, and you swore, for a second, it looked like he was blushing. For once, he wasn’t looking at you, seemingly avoiding eye contact himself. “Many of his really famous pieces are of women, usually without clothes on. There’s a lot of symbolism around sexuality and eroticism, so early 20th century Austria labeled his work as pornographic.”

“Oh?”

“Well it was the 1910’s!” He replied, maybe a little too quickly, “One rogue boob was enough to thoroughly scandalize them, you know what I mean, right?”

You smiled, comforted by the fact that he actually seemed to be the one getting flustered now. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Different time.”

“He was ahead of his time, for sure. That's one of the things I love about him and his work.”

He just kept gushing about the different pieces he liked best, showing them to you on his phone, talking about the different motifs and what it was about them that he loved. It was so sweet, his enthusiasm for it, and you took it all in happily.

You could listen to him talk about art all day long. You could see the sparkle in his eyes, the passion and excitement he had for it, and you were almost jealous of him, that he was so great at something that he loved so much. Sadly though, you soon made it back to your dorm again. However this time, when you turned to start walking up the steps, he stopped you.

“Wait, um, if you wouldn’t mind, could I get your number?”

You stared back at him for a minute, happy but surprised, before nodding. He handed you his phone and you added your contact, heart beating rapidly, trying your best not to look as excited as you felt.

When you reached your room, you saw the first text from him, one of the paintings he’d shown you. It was the same colorful yet overwhelmingly golden color scheme you’d seen in his own work, and depicted a man kissing a woman on the cheek. The racing of your heart took several minutes to return to a more normal pace.

As the semester went on, he always sat with you, and always walked you home. It took you another few weeks to really start opening up to him, but as you gradually did, his kind and warm demeanor made you feel at ease. He asked you about your family, your hobbies, whatever he could to get to know you better. You told him about your love for music, your favorite artists, and he always listened intently. He’d check out songs you recommended, and singers he’d never heard of, seeming as eager as you to get to meet again and discuss them more in depth.

Even as you talked to him about more personal matters, he never made you feel judged, always keeping an open heart and mind. That was another thing about him that you grew to admire.

You loved Seoul, and Korean culture, but learned that people could be more judgemental, and on the basis of quite superficial matters. Not only that, but these judgements were perfectly acceptable to express, adding an extra layer of pressure to everyday life. Baekhyun, however, didn’t partake in any of it.

Despite how attractive, popular, and as you came to learn, wealthy, he was, he never talked down to anyone. Jokes of that sort, that were normal to basically all of his friends, he wouldn’t react to, noticing the way he’d steer the conversation away from such topics when they came up.

He was accepting of everyone, regardless of their status, appearance, or various other factors. He was friends with basically everyone, too. As he’d walk with you he would always be greeting people left and right, giving everyone a smile and a friendly wave, never once ignoring someone or showing any condescension. He was just good.

His kindness, as lovely as it was, unfortunately also made you realize how not special you were to him. It was simply in his nature to be kind, even to those who might not deserve it, or could get the wrong idea. It was obvious how many girls had crushes on him, and though it never contained any malicious intent, he flirted with basically all of them. It was just part of his good nature. When he could tell someone liked him, he liked to make them happy. He never purposely misled anyone, or got their hopes up, but you still saw it happen time and time again. He would compliment a girl, and she would get all flustered, just like you had, wondering if maybe he really did like her, only to be disappointed when he did the same to her friend. If he wasn’t such a goddamn sweetheart he probably would've been labeled a playboy long ago, but everyone could clearly see that he wasn’t like that. Sleeping around wasn’t something he seemed to do either, though he definitely could’ve if he wanted to.

All of that being said, you still fell hard for him. It felt silly, being so infatuated and getting so flustered around him due to his sweet words, knowing that there wasn’t anything special about the way he treated you. He was that sweet to all of the girls, and you couldn’t even be mad at him for it, so you learned to hide how you felt. At least you wouldn’t end up looking like a fool that way.

Walking to class in the mornings always felt like such a chore, especially ever since Baekhyun had started to accompany you on your way back home everyday. You missed his company, and it was usually still quite cold, too, something you hated. Getting to listen to music uninterrupted was the only part that brought you some solace.

One morning was particularly stressful for you, having overslept the day before an exam, already late to the very necessary hour of studying you’d planned before going to your first class.

You were walking quicker than usual, headphones on, focused on making it to the library. However none of that seemed to deter the guy who started walking alongside you, now talking at you, motioning for you to take your headphones off.

Annoyed as you were, you didn’t want to be rude either. You took off the headphones, telling him, “Sorry, I’m kind of in a hurry.”

He didn’t seem to care, and when you started putting your headphones back on, he grabbed them from you.

You stared at him, clearly pissed off and in slight disbelief, but still, he just kept walking, now uncomfortably close to you. “I’m Jaeyong. I’ve seen you around, you’re really pretty. My dad basically owns this whole place, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” You tried to take your headphones back, but he kept them out of reach.

You’d seen him around campus too, surrounded by a posse of other rich kids, though they weren’t the kind Baekhyun associated with, and it was easy to see why. You immediately had a bad feeling about the guy.

“Can I get your number? We should go out sometime, I only date foreign girls. You guys are way less stuck up than the girls here, more open minded.”

Oh lord. You’d been warned about guys like him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Come on, don’t be a bitch. At least give me your number.”

You ignored what he said, trying again to get ahold of your headphones, and he still refused to give them back.

“You’d be lucky to go on a date with someone like me, you know.”

“Sorry, but I’m not interested. Can I please get my headphones back now?”

“What? You have a boyfriend or something?”

He’d been following you long enough that you were already in front of the library, and you really didn’t want him to follow you inside. For your own sanity, but also to spare the other students the annoyance, knowing he likely still wouldn’t shut up.

Unfortunately when you didn’t go inside, he ended up backing you up to the side of the building, blocking you into a corner.

“You can get your headphones back if you agree to go on a date with me.” His face was so close to your own you could smell his breath, turning away from him, refusing to respond. “Come on Y/n. You know you want to.”

The greasy smirk on his face made you feel sick. You didn’t remember ever giving him your name.

“I really need to go study.”

“I said, don’t be a bitch. It would be really stupid of you to reject me.” He spat, a jarring change in his tone.

He was no longer smiling, either, clearly getting frustrated with you. Fear started to take over, and you decided you could get new headphones later, you just needed to get away. You tried to get past him, but his hand on your shoulder shoved you against the side of the building roughly, painfully, and panic quickly set in, tears forming in your eyes. He didn’t even seem to care that there were other people around, clearly confident nobody would bother to stop him.

He was talking again, and you could hear the malice in his voice, though you were too scared to even really tell what he was saying anymore, cheeks now wet, repeating again and again to please just leave you alone. Your shoulder ached, still being held against the brick wall hard enough that you knew it would bruise.

Your eyes were squeezed shut, shaking your head, and suddenly the hand on your shoulder was gone. You collapsed to the ground, only vaguely aware of the voices around you.

There was a cacophony of “Leave her alone”, “Mind your business”, “Fuck off”, and more coming from only a few feet away but you just sat slumped against the wall, wishing it would all go away.

The sudden touch from a pair of hands taking hold of your own made you jump. You finally opened your eyes again, and to your great relief, it wasn't the guy who’d been bothering you, it was Baekhyun.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

A pair of concerned eyes met your own, feeling his thumbs as they softly ran across the backs of your hands. You stared back at him, dumbfounded, too stunned to speak. He was crouched down in front of you where you still sat against the wall, the other man nowhere to be seen.

“Please say something.”

“I- I don’t know.”

You didn’t notice, but Baekhyun grew increasingly aware of the people starting to gather around. His grip on your hands tightened and he pulled you back up to your feet, disappearing into the library with you. He made his way into the first empty study room he could find, his hand still firmly holding your own.

Now that you knew you were actually safe the adrenaline finally began to wear off. Baekhyun pulled out a chair for you to sit, so you did, and he soon followed. He moved so he was facing you instead of the table, and you tried to do the same, but when you braced yourself against the table and put even the slightest pressure on it, pain shot up towards your shoulder, making you wince.

He caught on right away, moving your chair for you.

“Are you hurt?”

Embarrassment slowly took hold now that you’d come to realize the gravity of the situation. As much as you didn’t want him to worry about you, you knew you couldn’t just lie, either.

“It isn’t too bad, I’ll be okay.” You were avoiding his eyes, growing more and more shy by the second. “You should get to class, I need to study anyway.”

“What?”

The softness and confusion in his voice pierced through your heart, even with only that one word. He was moving closer, and you hadn't even realized that you were still crying, not until his thumb began to gently wipe your tears away.

You were painfully aware of the rapid increase in your heart rate, as well as the redness spreading across your cheeks. He was so close now, his hands delicate on your face, looking at you with those beautiful brown eyes swimming with unease, still so worried about you.

His eyes moved to your shoulder, and his hand to the collar of your sweater.

“Can I..?”

You nodded, turning that side of your body towards him, and he slowly moved the fabric aside.

Seeing how his eyes widened, you looked down, and saw the blue and purple bruises for yourself.

“You are hurt. Let's get you to a nurse.” He said as he stood, but you stayed seated.

“Baekhyun, it's ok, I can go by myself later, you don't have to do all this.”

“Yeah, I do. I want to help.” He said, and held out his hand, beckoning you to get up and go with him. His eyes met yours, holding your gaze with intent. You couldn’t say no to him, not when he looked at you like that. His hand was warm when you finally took it, gratefully accepting his kindness, bashful as you were.

His hand stayed holding yours the entire way to the health services building. It wasn't far, but you still noticed the looks you got, especially from other girls.

You assumed that Baekhyun would leave for class once he dropped you off, but he didn't. He took a seat with you as you waited for your name to be called, and soon enough, you were being led down the hallway, with him still by your side.

“Sorry, your boyfriend can't come in the room with you.” Said the nurse, and you and Baekhyun exchanged nervous glances, though neither said anything to correct her..

He sat himself down in a nearby chair to wait, and you followed the nurse into the room. When you returned, he still wore that same nervous expression, asking, “How bad is it?”

His sweetness brought a long overdue smile to your face. “Not bad.” You said, and pulled your sweater aside to show him the tape and bandages. “No heavy lifting for a few weeks, and I should try not to move it too much, but nothing serious.”

Finally, you saw him ease up a bit, showing you a small smile as well. “Can I walk you to class?”

You nodded, and he was once again by your side as you headed across campus, though this time without his hand holding yours. As much as you tried to deny it, you missed the feeling. Once or twice you felt his hand brush up against your own, and you wondered if he was thinking the same thing, but you knew you shouldn’t get caught up in those kinds of thoughts.

“I don’t want to intrude, but if you’d like- I mean, if it would make you feel more comfortable, I could walk with you in the mornings, too, and between classes.”

As he said it his eyes were fixed on his hands, fidgeting with a ring he had on.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you late, or be a bother.”

“It’s no problem at all! Really, I think I would also feel better, just knowing that you’re safe.”

“Oh..I would like that, yeah.” You found yourself looking down at the pavement, blushing, mind once again wandering off, the sickly sweet feeling fluttering within you. When you turned onto a larger road, you didn’t miss the way his hand gently took hold of your good shoulder, positioning himself between you and the street.

You went on to text him your class schedule, and he happily agreed to walk with you wherever you needed to go, though you still found it hard to believe that he wouldn’t end up making himself late as a result. He seemed so happy to do it, though, you didn’t question him any further. When you thought about the very real possibility of running into Jaeyong again, you were grateful you’d have Baekhyun by your side.

He waved you goodbye when you got to class, and when it was over he was in the same spot, already waiting for you.

It went on like that for the rest of the day, with him being his usual wonderful self. You could tell that he was trying his best to brighten your day after it started so badly, and you appreciated it more than you could put into words. During your last class, he was joking around more than usual, complimenting you more, making you smile every chance he got. When it was finally time to say goodbye for the day back at your dorm, you didn’t want to let him go.

The next morning, true to his word, he was there waiting for you when you walked outside. Instead of heading towards campus, though, he insisted you sit down on the closest bench, “I have a surprise for you.” He said.

You played along, sitting down, following his directions to cover your eyes. He seemed to rummage around in his backpack for a minute, then set something down on your lap.

He gently took hold of your wrists, moving your hands aside, and you finally got a good look at the surprise he’d prepared.

It was a pair of headphones. The same model you’d had, but the newest version. Your old pair had been expensive enough, you almost couldn’t believe that he actually spent the money on a replacement.

“Do you like it? I tried to get your old pair back yesterday, but that asshole broke them.”

As much as you wanted to fight him and insist it was too much, he looked so excited, the smile on his beautiful face so pure, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You grinned back at him, standing up to throw your arms around him without a second thought. The way he hugged you back was just as amazing as you’d always imagined it would be. He was warm, his chest and arms firm in the most comforting way, and even the way he smelled was addictive. His embrace was nothing short of perfect, and it took everything in you not to whine when it inevitably came to an end.

“Thank you.”

“I know how much you love music, so I figured a nice pair of headphones would be pretty important to you.”

“It is, this is so sweet, I don’t even know what to say.”

He grinned, a teasing look on his face, “I wouldn’t mind another hug, if that’s easier.”

Your smile told him more than enough. This time, he was the one to pull you in, and he held you even tighter, letting the embrace linger for a moment longer. You put the headphones in your backpack, and started walking to class.

“You know I think that's the first time I've ever heard you call someone an asshole.”

“Well he really, really is.” He laughed. “I couldn't stand him even before he did all that. It's not the first time he's done that kind of thing either, but nobody ever stops him since his family donates a ton of money to the university and is on the board of directors.”

“That's awful..”

“Yeah he's the worst. How's your shoulder?”

“It only hurts if I put pressure on it or move it wrong, it’s really not too bad.”

You didn't have the heart to tell him that it did kind of hurt when he hugged you, but you'd happily deal with the slight discomfort of it, if it meant you'd get to do it more often.

He seemed to catch on anyway, only lightly holding onto your good side when you got to class and he told you goodbye. You wondered if he'd been thinking about holding you the same way you had been for weeks, now that he seemed so keen on it.

Every time he was sweet to you, you felt yourself falling for him even harder. Just walking with him was enough to turn you into a giddy mess, gradually falling in love with every little part of him. Whenever you felt especially shy, you would ask him about different art projects he was working on and he would show you, going on and on about what inspired it, the different motifs and themes. His voice always calmed you down after a little while, but by then, you'd usually be home or at your next class.

For days you thought about inviting him over, telling yourself you'd finally just do it, but always chickening out at the last minute. With how he treated you, you started to think that if he was alone with you, he might actually make a move. Maybe.

It wasn't until the end of midterms that you finally worked up the courage to invite him in.

He asked what you were up to that evening, as he usually would, and you told him that you were just going to study for the exam the next day, in the class you shared with him.

“Me too.” He said, looking at you with an expression you couldn't quite read as you got to the entrance of your dorm.

There was a moment of awkward silence as you both stood there, not yet wanting to let him leave, and it seemed to you that he didn't want that either.

He moved closer, about to hug you goodbye when your hand landed on his shoulder.

“Wait-”

He froze, swallowing, glancing nervously at the door.

“If you’re just gonna study tonight too, would you want to maybe come inside and study together?”

You braced yourself for the rejection, already dreading the excuse he would make, so it came as a surprise when he showed you a big dazzling grin.

“That sounds great, sure.”

You didn't miss Heejins face when he walked through the door with you, raising her eyebrows suggestively with a grin on her lips as soon as his back was turned.

“Baekhyun, this is my roommate Heejin.”

He smiled and greeted her, and you knew she'd be bombarding you with questions as soon as he was gone again.

You led him to your room, getting out your textbook and settling in on your bed, with him right next to you.

Part of you hoped that he wouldn't be all that keen on actually studying and you'd be able to just talk and hang out. Maybe, he would even make a move. Unfortunately though, he really did want to study.

Even as you both studied in silence, he somehow still managed to make the room feel far hotter than it realistically was. You felt his eyes on you more often than seemed normal, and a few times you'd looked back up at him, but he'd always quickly returned his attention to his textbook. He kept inching closer to you as well, every brush of his shoulder or thigh against your own increasing your heart rate.

You probably stole a few too many glances at him too, but he just kept drawing you in. Every detail of his face looked so kissable, your mind drifted away from your class work, wishing he was in your bed as more than just a friend.

Every time he would turn a page his hands caught your attention. The mole on his thumb was so cute, you thought, just another part of him you found yourself becoming obsessed with.

Hours went by in what felt like minutes, and when you both started yawning, you decided to call it a night. He hugged you again before leaving, only holding onto the side that wasn’t hurt.

You were proud of yourself for actually taking the initiative and inviting him in. The way he’d kept looking up from the textbook at you, more often than felt normal, kept replaying in your mind. As much as you didn’t want to fall victim to his charm only to be disappointed later, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he really did like you the same way you liked him.

You couldn’t get him out of your head as you got ready for bed that night, and even as you tried to go to sleep, his soft smiles and the way his thigh brushed against your own consumed your thoughts. Your mind wandered off, wondering how he’d react if you made some kind of move on him, though you knew you’d never actually have the confidence to do so. The idea of him reciprocating any of it, kissing you, touching you, almost seemed like it would be worth it. However the possibility of rejection, of losing his friendship, was still too scary for you to consider it.

It was well past midnight when you finally started dozing off, but the sound of your phone pulled you back to reality. For a second you considered just ignoring it until morning, but something inside told you not to. It must've been intuition, because when you did look, it turned out to be a text from him.

Are you awake?

You replied pretty much right away,

Yeah, why?

Can I call?

Sure

Fuck. Before you even had the chance to properly freak out, his caller ID was flashing across the screen. You picked up.

“Hi, y/n. Sorry to call so late, I can't sleep.”

“No worries, is everything okay?”

“Yeah.. I think I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Oh…”

“Is that weird to say?”

“No! I mean, you could call me at any ungodly hour and I'd probably still pick up, to be honest.”

The words slipped out before you had any real chance to think about what you were saying, and true as it was, you were still grateful he wasn't there to see how hard you were blushing.

“Really? That's awfully tempting… I might end up keeping you up a lot, though. Heejin’s gonna hate me.”

You laughed as quietly as you could, “She has her own bedroom, she'll be fine.”

“Thank you again, by the way, for inviting me in today.”

Your cheeks ached with how hard you were smiling, staring up at your ceiling with the phone pressed to your ear.

“It's nice to have some company. I always get so distracted when I try to study by myself.”

“Well, if I hadn't put it off for so long I probably would've just talked the whole time. I don't know if I'm really a good study partner, but if you want company again just let me know.”

“Well next time don't procrastinate so much, dummy.”

“So you're cool with me distracting you?” You could hear it in his voice, the way he grinned as he said it.

“Maybe a little..”

A brief pause.

“Did you have a boyfriend, back in America?”

The sudden question caught you off guard.

“No.. why?”

“Just wondering, I guess… I mean that must be hard, right? Having all your loved ones so far away.”

You wondered if you should tell him, but decide it would be best to just be honest.

“Okay that wasn’t entirely true. I was seeing someone, but he wasn’t a boyfriend and I knew I wanted to move here, so I ended it. I do miss my family and friends, but I still talk to them basically every day.”

“What about when you graduate? Are you gonna move back?”

“No,” You giggled, amused with how concerned he sounded, “Hopefully not, I like it here.”

“Thank god”

“Why? Would you miss me?”

He was quiet for a moment, dropping the teasing tone and answering with surprising tenderness.

“Of course I would miss you.”

“Oh.. I would miss you too.”

“Awww, cute.” You could practically see the shit-eating grin on his face.

“Baekhyun!”

“What?”

“You can be such a little shit, you know that?”

“How am I a little shit?!” He gasped, though even over the phone, you could tell he was just being his usual dramatic self.

“You get a kick out of fucking with me!”

“I wasn’t fucking with you! I just genuinely think it's cute that you would miss me, that’s all.”

“You can’t tell, but I’m rolling my eyes.”

“What? I’m not allowed to think you’re cute?”

There was a long pause, and you considered if you should really believe him. It wasn’t that you thought he was being dishonest, you just didn’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.

“Baek…”

“What?” His voice was once again soft, bringing with it a tightness in your chest.

“Nothing.. It’s just late, I guess, I’m pretty tired.”

For a while he was quiet. You would’ve given anything to know what was going through his head right then.

“You’re right.. I’ll let you get some sleep. I’m glad you were still up when I texted you. Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight.”

As much as it pained you to hang up, inevitably staying up much much later now that he’d given you so much to think about, his flirting just wasn’t something you knew how to handle. Even if he really did like you, why didn’t he say something more than just playful flirting? It would be a dream if he actually confessed to you, but it was exactly that; just a dream. That was clear enough considering how openly he flirted with other girls around you.

The next week he was his usual friendly self, walking with you, joking around, though you felt he’d pulled back a bit on the flirting. Part of you was relieved, since it turned you into a blubbering mess, but of course you also missed it.

He did still keep calling you though, often late at night, when he said he couldn’t sleep. A few times, you’d both even passed out with the call still ongoing. He told you that talking to you calmed him down, and once, he’d even said that he wished you were there with him. You’d laid awake nearly all night, wondering how he’d meant it. Did he just want company? Did he hate sleeping alone? Or did he also want something more than just friendship with you? Either way, until he said something more concrete, you wouldn’t be the one to ask.

It was during one of those late night phone calls that he invited you to a friend's birthday party. It was at a popular club near the university, and at first you weren’t going to attend, but he managed to talk you into it. After all, he would be there. Alcohol and music also meant dancing, and the possibility of dancing with him was enough to ensure that you’d be there too.

He wasn’t able to walk you, since he had to help set everything up, so you ended up going alone. Which wasn’t a big deal, in theory, but as someone who’d always been on the more anxious side, it still made you uneasy. Seoul was very safe, that wasn't the problem, it was what would happen once you got there that worried you. Baekhyun was your only friend there. You didn’t want to be a bother and hang onto him all night, since the rest of the guests were basically strangers to you.

When the time came you wore your favorite outfit, and stepped into the subway towards Hongdae with all the confidence you could muster.

You arrived a little later than the time he’d told you, not wanting to seem overly eager, and to your relief he already seemed to be waiting for you. When he pulled you in for a hug it was tighter than usual, and the smell of tequila on him was pronounced. You quickly took a shot with him, wondering how many he’d already downed prior to your arrival.

The club was still relatively empty, but that didn’t seem to bother Baekhyun as he pulled you towards the dance floor. You protested, and he pouted.

“I don’t really dance, at least not when I’m this sober.”

Seconds later another shot of tequila was pressed into your palm, and Baekhyun clinked his glass to yours, spilling a little, before you downed them in unison. Before you knew it, he had you on the dance floor.

It was your first real night out in Seoul, and it left you every bit as breathless as you’d expected. Now happily drunk, you danced with him, back pressed to his chest, both his hands on your hips.

Any worries you’d had about the amount of alcohol being consumed were long forgotten. You just let the music guide you, swimming in the euphoria of his hands on you and the closeness of your bodies.

When his warmth behind you disappeared, you spun around to search for him. Without him as an anchor, everything became far more overwhelming. There were more people now, the crowded space growing warmer, almost suffocating, until he burst through with a grin on his gorgeous face and two cups of water in his hands.

You hadn’t even realized how dearly you needed it until he’d appeared, grateful to drink something other than tequila. When one of your favorite songs began, and you beamed at him, and he beamed back at you even brighter. He remembered, of course he did. He knew all of your favorite music, because you’d told him so much about it.

Now as you danced, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. His hands gripped your waist, and your arms were slung around his neck, swaying to the familiar beat, getting lost in the drunken haze of it all. You realized then that he was staring at you just as intensely as you stared at him.

This is what it’s all about, you thought to yourself. Letting go completely, enjoying the music you love, and sharing it all with your favorite person. His smile shone so brightly, and you mirrored it, unable to imagine a more perfect moment.

You hardly realized it when he began to drag you off the dance floor. The song had long ended, and as the speakers became more distant, his voice became clear.

“Y/n?”

His eyes were bigger than ever as you looked up into them, in awe of their gentle downward slope, their deep brown color, the sincerity always behind them.

“Baekhyun?”

“I want to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I..” He trailed off, still looking at you, seeming to lose his train of thought. “You… You look really pretty, you always do, but especially right now.”

It was nothing he hadn’t told you before, but it still hit you harder than ever. For a while you just held his gaze, until in a burst of blind, drunken, confidence, you moved closer. You stood on the tips of your toes, and ever so softly, you let your lips meet his blushing cheek. Before the confidence could wear off and you’d start to second guess yourself, you pulled him back onto the dance floor.

You both downed a few more drinks, your attention devoted fully to each other. It was silly, now, to think of how worried you’d been about coming here. You hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

Eventually you had to excuse yourself to find a bathroom. You stared into the mirror as you fixed your lip gloss, wondering if Baekhyun had a mark on his face, from where you’d kissed him earlier. You liked the idea of other girls knowing that you’d been there.

You held onto the sink with an iron grip, closing your eyes for a second to steady yourself, all too aware of the way the room spun around you. Drinking this much wasn’t like you, but you were having so much fun, you didn’t care.

The bright flashing lights and hoards of strangers were disorienting, especially in your intoxicated state. You ended up on a sort of balcony, overlooking the dance floor, trying to find Baekhyun somewhere among the crowd.

When you finally spotted him, your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. He was dancing with Sumin.

Everything that happened next felt like it went by in slow motion.

Her eyes broke away from him, scanning the room, and briefly met yours. You saw her throw her arms around his neck. She kissed him, and he kissed her back.

The music seemed to wane into a dull buzz, sudden dizziness causing you to stumble. It took you a minute to get your bearings again, but when you did, you pushed your way through the crowd and out onto the street without a second thought.

It had started to rain. The smell of wet concrete was your only company as you walked towards home, a cruel, painful pit swallowing you from the inside.

Baekhyun didn’t like you like that, of course he didn’t. He was like that with all the girls.

#baekhyun fic #hooked #can't wait for more

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citylights-ah · 8 months ago

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I'm not sure if this is worldwide or not but

Please watch out, this is very disgusting.

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citylights-ah · 9 months ago

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How exciting! I'll be waiting 👀

be my mistake | jjk

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook × Reader

Genre : bestfriends! au, hurt! au, angst

Summary : Jungkook was comfort personified. Your safe haven. Until you uttered the three words that ruined everything.

Song Companions :

Be My Mistake by The 1975

Warnings : none, except bad writing lol.

Word Count : 1.6k

Author's Note : This is my work since a very long time. It's quite similar to the one drabble I wrote last time, but there's just something about Jungkook and comfort that it keeps on inspiring me to write similar scenarios over and over again.

Please excuse the writing since it's been a while since I last wrote anything.

Beyond your windows, the lightning threatened to clatter to the ground. You watched it, the light almost blinding, before it went out all too quick. Counting the seconds, you waited so that you would feel the impact of it. And surely, it followed soon after. The ground reverberated with it - the cackling energy that it was hit with through the thunder.

The clouds piled high in the sky, moving with a rhythm along with the wind, which howled furiously into the lonely night.

You wondered, in this stormy weather, why did you only feel the presence of a haunting silence that filled your room?

It was the absence of a warm presence—the remnants of a resounding laughter—that you felt in your very bones. The eyes - which were the home of a galaxy of stars - were nowhere to be found.

All because of you. All because of your stupid mistake.

The mistake that now wouldn't let you get even a wink of sleep. The mistake that would follow you through your nightmares and the endless hours of the prolonging nights. It would sit with you, up until your very last breath - until you set it right, in this lifetime or the next. Which you doubted was possible.

The tears threatened to fall again, but you blinked them back. Was there even a point in lamenting further?

But the hollowness in your chest said otherwise, because it had consumed your entire being. You were nothing but a shell of all that had been - a shell of all the possibilities you had ruined.

Your sole confidant was out of your reach, and you had to wallow in your misery all by yourself. It was quite lonely this way without him - for he had been there for everything. Everytime you hit rock bottom, he was there. Everytime you celebrated your tiniest achievement, he was there. For the good and the bad, he had stood with you like a rock - comforting you always by just his mere presence.

"Y/n?"

Your eyes widened. No, that couldn't be. That must have been a figment of your imagination, for he couldn't be here now. Not after all that you had said.

As if on cue, you then heard soft footsteps approaching, dimmed by the pattering of the rain. You knew the rhythm of them by heart but couldn't comprehend why they were towards your crouched form on the bed - your chest hugging your knees. So, he really was here.

After everything, he still sought after you.

But then again, you were his best friend. It was not in his nature to leave you alone - not when he knew there was a storm of hurt raging inside you.

You couldn't stay still. Wanting to see that your brain had not been playing tricks, you risked a glance, not caring that he would glimpse your eyes that were puffy with sorrow and see that grief had consumed your entire form. You never had to care - not when it came to him. Because he would already know, for he understood you like nobody else.

"J-Jungkook?"

There it was. The sound of his name that felt all too familiar on your tongue. It was oh so sweet, and too painful to say at the moment.

Jungkook stood there at the edge of your bed. His form was barely illuminated in the darkness of your room, but you could still make out his face. His hair was dripping wet from the rain. You could see his clenched jaw, the curve of his soft lips, the slope of his nose, and his eyes. They were dimmed of their usual light, but they shone with a storm of incomprehensible emotions - all seeming to contradict each other. His hands were fisted at his sides, as if he had to put effort into refraining himself from doing something. Perhaps comforting you, like he always had.

Jeon Jungkook, your human form of comfort and warmth, stood right before you. Yet, never had he felt so distant, so out of limits as he did in this moment, regarding you with guarded eyes.

"Jungkook?" You called out again, not sure what to do. There was a heated debate of your body - which needed him to hold you impossibly close, with your mind - which was trying to knock some sense into you, that he possibly wouldn't even want to stay in any proximity with you.

He sighed in response.

The faint smell of rain and Jungkook wafted through the room—a scent that had been your favourite all these years, and calmed you like nothing else.

"Come here, Y/n."

In his voice, you found reluctance - a hint of hesitance as his eyes flitted from your damp cheeks to your wet lashes. They emphasized the very mess you were.

You merely shook my head. "I-I cannot possibly d-do that, Jungkook."

"Y/n, please." The desperation in this voice slipped through, and you saw the raw pain painted across those black orbs.

"You know that we are in no position to be in each other's company at the moment, Kook." It was the very truth that you had been refusing to accept the past few hours.

It was this truth present amidst the both of you that had put the distance between you two. It had created this rift between the two of you. You could see it in the way Jungkook refrained from doing his usual thing with you.

The newfound distance only twisted the knife of pain and dug into your wounds further.

But ignoring all of it, Jungkook continued to communicate his request silently , holding your deterring gaze.

"No, Jungkook. I-I cannot." You cowered into yourself as a fresh wave of sorrow flooded through you. You were responsible for this mess you had put the both of you in.

Your stupid, messy feelings.

Stupid emotions that overtook all your senses, and the stupid stutter of your heart everytime he looked into your eyes. This utterly stupid love that you had for him, that consumed your entire being every second that you breathed.

"Y/n, you don't have to do this to yourself. We are fine - we'll continue and stand through this together, like we always have."

"No, Jungkook, we can't," you argued.

"Why not?" His brows furrowed, forming that tiny knot between them. You brushed aside the desire to kiss it away.

"It's not fair to me nor you. You know that very well."

There was no point in carrying this any further - not when Jungkook would always be careful with you now that he knew. The very essence of your dynamic was lost the moment you said those three words. The pair of you were meant to be platonic, and nothing further. Only because of that did Jungkook communicate so freely, and laid his heart bare before you.

"It's only continuing what we have always had. I need you, Y/n." His voice inched towards breaking, and you knew you were pushing him towards the edge.

"Don't say that." Your voice was just above a whisper.

Jungkook looked utterly stricken. All the colour drained from his face, as he gazed at you with widened eyes.

The thunder struck in the distance once more, and the room shook a little as an aftereffect.

"Y/n, do you mean to say that we can't continue this any longer? Do you mean to say that-" He took a sharp breath.

You smiled wrly. The damage had already been done. What could a little more hurting do?

"Yes, Kook." You looked up at him, then. Beautiful—that's what he was. He stole your breath even now, and the hollowness in your chest felt more prominent as you weighed the possibility of not seeing him again that happened to linger in the air - in his unspoken words. "I can't do this any longer."

"Y/n, you can't - you won't just give up on this, right?" Jungkook leaned towards you as desperation gnawed at all his clean-cut edges to tear him apart - ripping his heart into pieces. "Don't make that mistake, Y/n. You-you can't do this."

It was all evident in his eyes: the losing battle that he was fighting - the one you wanted him to win. But that would only result in your eventual doom and put you back into that place of agony as you had experienced all these years.

"What you are asking of me is very selfish, Jungkook. I can't stand a second more with the fact that you are not mine, that we will always be just friends."

There. There you put out your most innermost thoughts for Jungkook to see. You laid your heart bare before him, once again.

He looked conflicted then, that battle from before still evident. But there was a defeated slouch to his shoulders, because he knew then that there was nothing he could say to tackle this.

That your decade long friendship was going to end, just like that.

"I understand." He looked into your eyes and held your gaze.

You raked your eyes throughout his face and memorized every detail of him. You committed the faint soapy, laundry-like smell of his to your memory, knowing it would never invade your senses after this.

"Goodbye, Kook." You managed a smile.

He looked at you then - really looked at you, as if seeing you for the very first time and perhaps the last time. He didn't return your goodbye nor your smile, but merely acknowledged it with a nod and just walked out of your door - out of your life.

And as he went, he left you as an empty shell. Leaving you with nothing but the fragments of him that you would make sure to cling onto all the years that would follow.

The remnants of the smell of rain and Jungkook lingered in the room, that without him, made this room all the more suffocating.

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citylights-ah · 9 months ago

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Oh my god, this absolutely can not here. I see them bumping into each other in the future - on different paths but bound to collide. Damn this has got to be the beginning