chronicallypositive

[chronicallypositive]

Down for the Count

Down for the Count

Well, it’s happened. I thought I had escaped the “end of rush” winter bronchitis but alas, it caught me. Let’s be perfectly transparent. As much as I would like to to blame Winter in Kentuckiana where it can be 60 today and snow tomorrow, or working with the public, or jokingly claim the Coronavirus made it’s way to the middle of the country, I can do none of these. This is 100% my own fault.

[chronicallypositive]

Let's Talk About Invisible Illness

I started to make this a post on Facebook- then it grew and grew until it had a life of it’s own so I am dropping it here. If you have anything to add- drop it in the comments. I am sure I missed something so I look forward to added perspectives. Now here we go!

Let’s talk for a moment about Invisible Illness. It’s called Invisible for a reason. You may see a change in our gait, you may…

[chronicallypositive]

The Semester is OVER!

The Semester is OVER!

And I am eternally grateful to have survived it. I finished the last of my GEN-ED requirements (YAY) and even squeeked out a B- in the Geography lab. Don’t ask me how because I am the least science-minded person you will ever meet. For Spring, I am taking one Wintersession Sociology (12/23-01/11) class and two classes in regular session. One is another Sociology (so I can work on that minor) and…

[chronicallypositive]

Catching up

Hi everyone! It’s been a busy, busy few months. I spent most of my summer running back and forth between two stores, helping to transition our local community college system’s store into a Barnes & Noble College store. Fortunately, I have an amazing Assistant Manager who held down the fort in the days I was away.

Working both stores went right up to my own Rush which went by in a flash…

[chronicallypositive]

Chasing the Cure

Chasing the Cure If you are submitting your story, let me know so that I can follow your journey #ChronicIllness #ChasingTheCure #RA #Fibro #DDD #RheumLung #Pimphigoid

I am a TV watcher to the nth degree. When I was an itty-bitty kid, I could spot logos and sing theme songs way before I should have. My teen years were more hit or miss but I still remember the moment MTV was born- “Video Killed the Radio Star” anyone? Then I became a mom and after Barney, Sharon,Lois and Bram, and Carmen Sandiego the TV went off. There were a lot of years where I was too busy;…

[chronicallypositive]

Word of the Day or Another New Normal

Word of the Day or Another New Normal

Unpredictability.

Lady Gaga said it beautifully in this meme from Mighty Well’s Instagram

Meme Credit: MightyWell Instagram See more here

I saw and shared this meme on my Facebook page yesterday and I thought it would be appropriate for our next “New Normal” post. Before we get into that, I want to note that in researching them in order to give proper credit, I found their site…

[chronicallypositive]

It's a Staycation!

It’s a Staycation!

Well, I am half way through a staycation. Theoretically I should be on Virginia Beach but sadly, my poor dad blew a staph infection where they repaired his Achilles Tendon and though they wanted us to go ahead and go, we girls decided that it would not be the same without Mom and Dad so we asked that they try to get a refund.

If you were with me on my Blogspot blog, you know that Dad went…

[chronicallypositive]

Random Swelling, Random Thoughts ...

Random Swelling, Random Thoughts …

Do you have somewhat random swelling? My ankles and feet like to swell, especially when I am on them a long time or when it’s super hot and humid out. My ankles become cankles and my feet look like softballs with little round appendages. Summer in Kentuckiana while I am hard at work? It’s a perfect storm and a relatively painless way to flare.

I am not here to complain about it. It…

[chronicallypositive]

Prednisone Giveth, Prednisone Taketh Away...

Prednisone Giveth, Prednisone Taketh Away…

A few weeks ago, I got my new diagnosis. The Dermatologist put me on long term antibiotics and a cream in hopes that the treatment would take. It just so happened that three days before that (on Friday) my Rheumy put me on a 12 day tapered pack of Prednisone for the flare I had been in for a few weeks. By Monday when I saw the Dermo, it was starting to take effect. I started the antibiotics and…

[chronicallypositive]

And So We Have a Diagnosis

And So We Have a Diagnosis

I am not going to bore you with the details but suffice it to say my immune system is on the move again. Now it’s begun attacking my skin. This lovely disease is considered rare because less than 1 in 20,000 contract it and most who do are significantly older than I am. My dermo says that this means I have to be very vigilant about seeing my primary care and getting my routine screenings done…

[chronicallypositive]

Hurry Up and Wait

Hurry Up and Wait

It’s funny how we tend to look for simple answers and/or dismiss symptoms even when we know our bodies as well as chronic illness patients do. Either that, or we don’t tie together things that are seemingly random because really, how much more can pile on?

Looking back, I think the latest issues began around/over a year ago. I have had my hair colored fairly regularly since I was 13…

[chronicallypositive]

Have You Ever????

I’ve been playing a revolving game of “Have you ever” in my head for a week or more so I thought I would throw it out here.

Have you ever had one of those flares that when it hits you wonder “Is this the one that will take hold and not go away?”

Have you ever thought you should get a part-time job to pay for your medical co-pays?

Have you everthought that the idea of adding a part…

[chronicallypositive]

The 2nd New Normal Is...

The 2nd New Normal Is…

Finding workarounds for your limitations.

Some days I don’t think about my limitations at all because those I use are second nature. Some days it’s all I think about. Much of that depends on whether or not I am in flare or doing something different. One thing I know for sure is that I am not alone in this.

There are a few things that I rarely think about because they are now ingrained.…

[chronicallypositive]

The New Normal Is...

The New Normal Is…

Adaptability.

When you have a chronic illness, one thing that you learn is that what you’ve always considered to be your “normal” life is a thing of the past.

Before I was diagnosed my “normal” consisted of more than 80 hour work weeks while trying to be a good wife, a good mother and planning to go back so to school. I pushed myself so hard that it was beyond ridiculous. At one…

[chronicallypositive]

Another Setback

Since before Thanksgiving, I have been experiencing a big "flare" in my right hip and lower back.  Now- the lower back pain has been going on for literally years and generally I can live with it but this has been high enough on the pain scale that if I so much as turn over while sleeping, the pain is so intense that it wakes me up.  By my calculations this has been escalating and beginning to recede and then ramping back up for 8-9 weeks now.  

So. I went to my doctor this morning and the hits just keep coming. She felt around on my back, felt the "grinding" I was describing in my lower back/hip area and moved my joints around. She said that I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and possibly a rheumatoid nodule in my hip.  Between the RA in my hip and the OA in my back- it's causing muscle spasms- which is why there is so much pain.  Oh- and she gave me orders for another Chest X-ray because she didn't like the looks of the one we did in June.  

She doubled my neurontin to 600mg 2x a day and told me that the only other treatment (because- of course- there is no cure) is exercise and weight loss. If I didn't know she was exactly right, and I didn't know that she's a good doctor who only has my best interest at heart, and if I didn't know that I am uber-bitchy because of the pain, I would have snapped at her and said something to the effect of "no shit- but how am I supposed to exercise and lose weight when I am in constant pain?" Big sigh

Essentially that means I can either get my butt up and out of the house at 5am to get to the therapy pool at the Y so I can walk and exercise in there (because regular walking HURTS) OR I can pay for PT- and exercise in their therapy pool. I am taking the first option starting tomorrow (Saturday-because I can find my bathing suit and go at 6 instead of 5) morning.  

When I left the office to drive back across the bridge to Indiana, I just want to curl up, cry and then sleep.  I wanted to desperately.  Unfortunately work calls so that is just not an option.  It's such a busy time of year for us in the store that a pity party is just not viable right now.  I am working 7 days a week for a few weeks and then I can relax a very little for the next following 2 weeks before my inventory.  By then, hopefully, I will be beyond the pity-party stage and can just relax.  

I was talking to a dear friend about this and she said "This year stinks already!"  I told her that I won't allow it. ��Thirteen is my lucky number- I WILL make it work for me.   I just have to get past this, get working on the weight loss and reach for the stars. I don't know how yet, but I will not let this hiccup stop this from being a great year!

On a side note- Happy Birthday to the love of my life!  It's his 47th birthday today and I love him as much now as I did when he was 17.   

[chronicallypositive]

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

[chronicallypositive]

How to Unhook Yourself from Negativity

This article landed in my inbox this morning courtesy of my daily email from Oprah.com When you are on a journey toward a positive life, that site is a great resource. I am copying the article in total and will link you at the bottom if you want to explore more How to Unhook Yourself from Negativity Oprah.com Sometimes there are people in life with whom you just don't see eye-to-eye. Maybe they rub you the wrong way or, even worse, just don't seem to like you and you can't figure out why. Ed and Deb Shapiro explain why another person's negativity may have nothing to do with you and what you can do to improve the relationship. No one likes to be in a negative situation, but you don't always get along with everyone all the time. Once, when we were with the Dalai Lama, he said to us, "If we were together all the time, then we would quarrel!" However, if someone is being dismissive, fault-finding or disapproving and this is making you feel unworthy, insecure or lacking in self-esteem, then it may be because there's a hook somewhere in you for that negativity to latch on too, a place where it can land that triggers all these hidden self-doubts. For instance, imagine your mind is like a beautiful garden. If you let a pig in your garden, you will have a hard time getting it out, as pigs really like tasty gardens! In the same way, negativity is like a pig that gets in your garden and causes havoc. How can you get unhooked? Rather than adding fire to fire by being equally as negative, there is another way. In our article "Turn Your Workplace into a Caring Place," we shared the story of how Helen, who had a critical and negative boss, was able to turn the situation around by focusing on kind and caring thoughts toward both herself and her superior. When you extend kindness toward yourself as well as toward the person you are having a challenging time with, then an extraordinary thing begins to happen: The hook within you begins to dissolve. This means there is nowhere for the negativity to take hold or to land. By embracing yourself with kindness, you are strengthening and reinforcing feelings of self-empowerment, worthiness and personal value. Sending kindness to your adversary transforms her so she's able to release the conflict. It also acts like a shield so any remaining negativity does not penetrate; it cannot land. You can learn how to do this with the loving kindness meditation. Deb shares a personal story of how she unhooked negativity in her co-worker Showing yourself and others kindness is like turning compost into roses. Deb experienced this in a very personal way: "Many years ago, I was the administrator for an educational institute in Hawaii, and for some reason one of the teachers really had it in for me. No matter what I did, she disagreed and made me wrong. For administrative purposes, I had to be present at her classes, and, quite subtly, she soon turned all the participants against me. I realized she was triggering childhood memories of being ignored or disregarded, as I would shrink into a small, ineffective place when I was around her. It then emerged that I was going to have to go with her and the class to a remote cabin on another island for a one-week wilderness program. Not my idea of fun! The only option I had was to focus on her during my kindness meditation practice, which I did by holding her in a loving place within me every day for the few weeks before we left. "By the time we got to the cabin, her attitude had begun to subtly change and she was no longer making me the cause of everything that went wrong. Over the first few days, she changed even more, every so often acknowledging me, but by the end of the week, she was actually including me along with everyone else, once even asking me for my opinion. The interesting thing was that she didn't seem to notice that anything was different. The whole of the class changed with her. I was astonished to watch it happen. The only thing I had done differently was kindness meditation, through which the hook inside me that she had been hanging all her judgment on had dissolved. She had nowhere to put her negativity; instead, it sort of fell on the floor between us. Eventually, it just slunk away, unable to find a home." All the negative reactions that arise during moments of discord or disagreement can cause great suffering and anguish, but your own anger can do us even more emotional harm than someone else's words or actions. Extending kindness to others is, therefore, really extending it toward yourself as it leaves you in a gentler, more joyful place. Try Ed and Deb's 3-step loving kindness meditation It also helps to remember that if someone is hurting you, it's usually because she's in pain. Ever noticed how, when you are in a good mood, it is hard for you to harm or hurt anything? You even take the time to get a spider out of the bathtub. But if you are in a bad mood or are feeling very stressed, then it's easy to wash the spider down the drain. Your own pain spills over and harms anyone or anything in its way. For that reason, someone who incites feelings of discord or enmity actually needs to be loved even more because their pain will be far greater than the pain they are causing. When you become aware of this, you can wish all people to be happy and free from suffering. A truly compassionate and humane act! Loving Kindness Meditation for Times of Difficulty     Spend a few minutes on each stage of this practice. Settle your body in an upright and seated posture. Take a few minutes to focus on the natural flow of your breath, while bringing your attention to the heart space in the center of your chest.      Now, either repeat your name or visualize yourself in your heart so you can feel your presence. Hold yourself there, gently and tenderly. Release any tension on the out-breath and breathe in softness and openness with the in-breath. Silently repeat: "May I be well, may I be happy, may I be filled with loving kindness." Feel a growing sense of loving kindness and compassion for yourself.      Now direct your loving kindness toward the person you are having a hard time with, whoever it may be. Keep breathing out any resistance and breathing in openness, as you hold this person in your heart and repeat: "May you be well, may you be happy, may you be filled with loving kindness." No need to get caught up in recalling the details of the story. Hold her gently and tenderly, wishing her wellness and happiness.      Now expand your loving kindness outward toward all people, in all directions, whoever they may be, silently repeating: "May all beings be well, may all beings be happy, may all beings be filled with loving kindness." Feel loving kindness radiating out from you in all directions. Breathe in kindness, breathe out kindness.      When you are ready, take a deep breath and gently open your eyes, letting the kindness in your heart put a smile on your lips. Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World. They are featured weekly contributors to Oprah.com, HuffingtonPost.com and Care2.com. Ed and Deb write Sprint's The Daily CHILLOUT inspirational text messages. They have three meditation CDs: Metta: Loving Kindness and Forgiveness, Samadhi: Breath Awareness and Insight and Yoga Nidra: Inner Conscious Relaxation. Deb is also the author of the best-selling book Your Body Speaks Your Mind, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award. http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Unhook-Yourself-from-Negativity