chronic-poet

[chronic-poet]

is it platonic

or romantic; i cannot

decrypt attraction

———————————

2/14/25 - “attraction”

[chronic-poet]

i cannot grasp the

concept of true love; how does

someone know it’s real

———————————

2/13/25 - “true love”

[chronic-poet]

sorrow whirring in the air

their sobs, their tears

i can’t help but stare

rude as it is i try to look away

but the sadness of them

draws me in anywyas

i know not what to do

should i keep up my glare

what do i do

do i go show them care

i walk over, they vent

i try to escape but this space

cave in like a broken tent

i’m trapped in this place

i know not where i am

but i think i’ve been here before

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2/10/25 - “stuck”

[chronic-poet]

falling farther from

myself, it happens often

who really am i?

—————————

2/6/25 - “falling”

[chronic-poet]

glimmer, shine, dazzle

gleam; now is your time to stay

gold like the sunset

————————

2/3/25 - “gold”

[chronic-poet]

leaves fall solemnly

from the sky but these two leaves

love one another

—————————

2/2/25 - “leaves”

[chronic-poet]

in the latest poem i posted, titled “fate”, i had continued it longer than it is. i didn’t like the way that it was going, however. therefore, i went back and revised a new idea for it (the current version). but an excerpt from the original poem stuck out to me and i felt the need to share.

“they think im hopeless

but they are the hopeless romantic

im the hopeless aromantic”

[chronic-poet]

tws in tags ⚠️

————————

a sharp pain in chest

is this what i deserve?

it must be

i must deserve this pain

what i did

i know not

but this pain

is comfort

i found comfort

in a sharp force

that can’t be right

this can’t be right

what did i do

to deserve this

is this truly my demise

is this truly my fate

what did i do

or what will i do

that makes me

deserve this

past? present? future?

what is the reason

what is the cause

why is this how i go

this can’t be how i go

i’m not ready

even if i tell myself otherwise every day

i’m not ready yet

i want to fly

someday

just not

today

it’s not my time

it can’t be my time

please

can’t i just say goodbye?

——————————————

1/28/25-1/29/25 - “fate”

[chronic-poet]

tws in tags ⚠️

————————

it happened again

my heart was racing

my thoughts were spiraling

my eyes were darting

i forgot who i was

i forgot my name

i forgot my age

i forgot who i was

it happened so quick

and then it was gone

“the calm after the storm”

as they say

but it really was a storm

it came on like thunder

like a big crash

a big boom

so sudden

so unexpected

so unnecessary

i stood up and saw myself

and it started

i knew who i was

but i couldn’t

picture who i was

because i felt like

there was no me

i felt like an outer shell

no core

no thoughts

nothing happening within

everything felt like a facade

my whole life is a facade

i wonder if anyone really knows me

because i barely know myself

————————————

“calm after the storm” - 12/20/24

[chronic-poet]

the circus of love

a glamorous place

but i don’t fit in

here with my losing face

all around they smile

and laugh

i'm stuck here in my shell

i'm trapped

i see them all watching

what do i do?

they’re all watching me

how do i not act a fool?

they kiss

and they hug

and they love

and they love

but my circus feels empty

not even a bug

i’m stuck in this circus

i can’t help but tug

the smiles around me

feel like a mockery

i’m being laughed at

there’s no use of comstockery

my circus glows

purple and black

the tent caves in

their eyes all attack

there are lights flashing

and sirens booming

i see someone glance

i don’t feel like moving

they tell me to follow

to evacuate the flooding

caused by the tears

that i couldn’t swallow

this all is my fault

my circus is wrecked

their hopes and their dreams

crushed by my neglect

this circus of love

became a circus of sorrow

all in one night

there’s no more tomorrow

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1/20/25 - “circus of love”

[chronic-poet]

i try to fit in, i really do

but sometimes it’s hard with all my

defects and deformities,

flaws and faults,

imperfections and impurities,

do they see my insecurities?

they keep me up at night

they keep me wondering

whether or not everyone else can see it

do they see what i see?

do they see what i'm hiding?

do they see how scared i am to be myself?

can they tell?

i hear them chattering discreetly

they mention my name

but i mustn't talk back

i keep to myself

i don’t share my past

too much happened

i don’t want to regress

i have too many regrets

back then i was free

but i was blinded

i couldn’t see

now i don’t know who i am

i’m not that person

i’m barely a person

my thoughts keep racing,

telling me their own little lies.

tell me, what do i believe?

every word sounds disguised

disguised as something its not,

my thoughts are distraught,

im in too deep,

im trusting nothing,

is that bad?

am i bad?

i keep pondering this

am i a bad person?

what if i’ve done things

and forgot

i forget so much

my brain tries it’s best

but i forget day after day

i barely remember my age

i still feel like a kid

i’m fourteen

time flies too fast

but not fast enough

not fast enough for me

i just want to get over this

i want to get over everything

i wish wouldn’t care about how other perceive me

i could free

i could be myself

i could know myself

i could soar

i could fly

i could do so much more in life

i just don’t know how.

——————————————

12/20/24 - “insecure”

[chronic-poet]

everything i do

every move i make

every step i take

everything i do

has to be perfect

if i make one mistake

every deed i’ve done

is erased at once

nothing applies anymore

they call me a “perfectionist”

i guess they’re right

i can't mess up

i can’t make a mistake

i can’t or else

everything will be ruined

my life

my world

my sense of self

it’ll be imperfect

i can’t be imperfect

if i am

what’s the point?

what’s the point of anything

at that point

if there’s nothing for me

if i can’t be perfect

there’s no point to keep going

there’s no point to move forward

there’s no point if i’m imperfect.

———————————————

12/25/24 - “perfection”

[chronic-poet]

three people already

six more to go

what do they see?

in my skin that is hollow

there’s nothing here special

it’s all just alike

what do they see in me?

i have nothing to show

i love to perform

i love to put on acts

that’s all that this is

until the panic attacks

i know not who i am

and i barely know you

so then, why is it me?

what do you see?

—————————

1/17/25 - “hollow”

[chronic-poet]

hello. i enjoy heartstopper and other medias similar. i also enjoy writing poems so thought i might share some on here. i’m ok if you give constructive criticism (although i’d prefer that you didn’t), but please don’t be too harsh if you do. thanks in advance. 🫶