chosenofthegods

[chosenofthegods]

[Fiction from a dream] - Madam Zamboni

"Learn your destiny! The future revealed by Madam Zamboni!

I like Ren Faires. No one takes themselves seriously, and stupid puns or references are the order of the day.

And, okay, technically, I wasn't on staff. North Carolina apparently has some weird fucking laws about "witchcraft and divination", which the owners didn't want to have to deal with. But they didn't actually shut down my little blanket and chair and- most importantly -cashbox, setup near the back of the Faire. I could usually make a few hundred bucks a day, from eager girlfriends or lonely guys or mom's killing time while waiting for the kids to finish running off a sugar high.

"Well now. My destiny."

I hadn't noticed him… them? walking up, even though the crowds were thinning out as the day drew to a close. I'd honestly been considering packing up early. Hey, good thing I didn't, right? They were rail thin, with a shoulder-length pageboy bob of bright blue and a garish pink-and-yellow overcoat, with eyes hidden behind mirrored glasses, and the smile I could hear in their voice was hidden behind a black mask.

I shoved my tired down and turned on my biggest smile. "Indeed! Madam Zamboni sees all, knows all! For $10 I will study the lines of your life as written on the palm of your hand, or for $20, I will perform the ancient art of cartomancy, drawing upon the ancient Egyptian mysteries of the Tarot! For $25, I'll do both!"

They reached beneath their coat and pulled out a small leather pouch- oh god, they were one of those -and counted out twenty-five individual golden Sacagawea dollar coins into their gloved hand. "I'd like the full spread, if you would," they said, pouring them onto my blanket. Well, cash is cash. "Of course! Now, if you could remove your glove?"

Their smile seemed to grow ever so slightly as they pulled the glove off gingerly. Mask and gloves; they didn't sound sick. Maybe just paranoid about getting sick. I should play into that. Give 'em a scare. They-

Their palm was.

Okay, I've been doing this for a long while. The palm has certain very regular features and lines, where the muscles and tendons and fat underneath the skin bunch and stretch. I've seen folks with old scars and motorcycle injuries, and had more than few jokesters that had lost a hand present a prosthetic. But this was different. At a glance, their hand was like any other. But the heartline should run from between the index and center finger to the edge, just under the pinkie; it went backwards. The headline that starts between the index and thumb was entirely absent. The raised padding that makes up the mound of Venus, where the thumb meets the palm, was perfectly flat. It was like a palm sculpted by a child, the idea of a hand, with the same resemblance to a real one as a crayola brown tree or lemon-yellow sun.

Now. I'm pretty good at improvising, but I'll admit, this startled me. "I'm- ah. Sorry. Your palm eludes the vision of Madam Zamboni," I stuttered, and carefully counted out ten of the coins to give back. I could feel their smile widening beneath the mask, as I withdrew my cards. Not my normal "Fairies and giggling gnomes" deck. The old Rider-Waite deck I used mostly for myself, that I'd gotten from my grammy. I shuffled the cards in front of them, doing some simple close up twists to riffle and bridge seemingly in mid-air, before presenting the deck. "Please, if you would, split the deck, and we can begin."

They had put their glove back on while I was shuffling, and only moved the top card to the bottom. Cheeky devil. I set the cards on the blanket and slid the top-

The card stuck.

I hesitated, then got a firmly pressure with the tip of my finger. The card was absolutely stuck. It didn't move. I laughed a little, but I'm sure it was edged with nerves. "Ah, your fate is hard for even the cards to see," I said, working the tip of a nail under- what the fuck. I couldn't gain any purchase on the edges of the card. It was as if they were encased in plastic wrap. Smiling, trying to keep their eyes fixed on mine, I ran a fingertip against the edge of the deck, feeling the individual cards, then once more- fuck. FUCK.

"Trouble?" they asked. "Would you like my help?" The hairs stood up on the back of my neck. It was the same laughing voice. One amused by the world. But as hungry and empty as a howling wolf.

Wordlessly, I gave up on the cards, and withdrew a small wooden cup, then placed three of the golden coins into it. I don't sell i-ching divinations; tourists at Ren Faires generally don't know them well enough to be amused by 'em or, more importantly, to pay for 'em. But this was for myself. And them. I spun the coins around the cup three times, slammed it onto the blanket, and lifted.

The coins missing- no. They were adhered to the interior of the cup as if by magnets.

"I'm sorry, my dear," I croaked, my throat going dry. "It seems fate does not favor madam Zamboni this day." I peeled the coins out of the cup, withdrew an additional five dollars in change from the cashbox, and offered them back. "A refund for the failed card reading, and my wishes for your journey onwards to be pleasant."

They leaned closer as they took the coins. They smelt of cinnamon and cloves. "You didn't answer my question. Would you like my help?"

I swallowed hard. The heat of them reminded me of a campfire. When I was a young child, I'd rolled into a campfire in my sleep, just trying to get warmer. Fortunately the pain woke me up right quick.

"Your offer is appreciated, but… not at this time. Please," my voice was a whisper. "Please have a pleasant journey onwards."

I could feel myself being weighed by the eyes behind those mirrored glasses, and when the stranger spoke again, their voice held no laughter. "Fine, then. No harm in offering a little help, but I can tell where I'm not wanted." And they walked away, down the dirt lane, around a corner, out of sight.

I waited until the park was closed, then folded up my blanket, picked up the cashbox, and found my way to my car, not tired in the least. Over an hour later, and I still felt my heart pounding, the sour after taste of adrenaline curdling in my stomach. I left that fair, without a word. Maybe it was time to retire Madam Zamboni. Find some other way to make a living.

[chosenofthegods]

WHEREAS: Animal representations of human behaviors, interests, have a long and proud tradition,

AND WHEREAS: there is no widely recognized animal representation for Asexuality or asexuals (hereafter "Aces"), instead most often being represented by fictional and unemotional machinery or alien intelligences,

AND WHEREAS: it is widely acknowledged that the honey badger is an animal which gives no fucks,

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED: Henceforth, the honey badger be the recognized animal representation for Aces.

[chosenofthegods]

WHEREAS: Animal representations of human behaviors, interests, have a long and proud tradition,

AND WHEREAS: there is no widely recognized animal representation for Asexuality or asexuals (hereafter "Aces"), instead most often being represented by fictional and unemotional machinery or alien intelligences,

AND WHEREAS: it is widely acknowledged that the honey badger is an animal which gives no fucks,

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED: Henceforth, the honey badger be the recognized animal representation for Aces.

[chosenofthegods]

they are Luna’s beloved children

[chosenofthegods]

I love Lorda Rings. I love all my favorite characters like Angron and Ganondorf and Legos and Barometer and Gumroad and Frito and Samsworth are Mariah Carey and Peepums

[chosenofthegods]

Mm. I don't fully agree with this, even as I understand where you're coming from. Canon of a particular collective of fictions, I think, is more akin to a language; it's more about mutual comprehensibility in discussion and further exploration of those fictions. Now, that is obviously *deeply* entangled with IP law and enforcement. But I've seen entirely fan-driven communities ruminating on entirely novel characters and stories, and will still argue about which stories are now canon and which ones aren't, based largely on community vibes. (And not even getting into the history of religious canon debates, which by and large predate anything resembling modern ideas of IP enforcement but still worked to make sure everyone was keeping the same basic understanding)

different anon, but could you elaborate about the canon is enforcing of IP? or give some recommendations of what i could read about it

well, like. all fiction is equally real, in that it all exists in the exact same capacity (as in, exclusively as the relation between a text and the people engaging with it). let's take star wars as an example where people were recently upset about 'canon' and what was and wasn't allowed to be 'canon' -- there is nothing about padawan (2022) that is in any way 'less true' or 'less real' than heir to the empire (1991). they are both books about equally fictional events. the only substantive difference between these books is that the IP holder, disney, will allow future ''official'' material to draw on the former and not on the latter.

and respecting canon as some sort of intrinsic property of the text, as something that confers weight and importance--being willing to accept 'what disney has greenlit to be the basis for continued cultural product' as a pivotal factor in how or even whether a text should be analyzed (e.g. 'that's not canon, it doesn't count') is ceding the notion that the embrace of the rightsholder makes one text more 'real' than another equally fictional text depicting equally fictional events. it is accepting an epistemology of fiction that is ultimately rooted in IP law--the only material difference between a 'canon' and a 'non-canon' text is that the rightsholder might well fund the production of a work expanding and engaging with the former and might well legally prevent the publication of the latter

obviously if you want to create your own personal corpus to restrict your analysis to, that makes sense. & for very good reasons that may well overlap with 'canon' -- it often makes sense to say 'this text wasn't intended to be read as part of the same story, so including it in my broad analysis of this story would complicated that analysis for little gain'--but accepting prima facie the distinctions of 'canon' as valent in any sense except economic is an unproductive way of envisioning texts that cedes so much ground to reifying The Franchise as a neutral thing with independent existence.

[chosenofthegods]

BONUS EPISODE: Final Girl Rising with Joie Martin

Available to all Patreon backers, free or paid: I sat down with Joie Martin to play FINAL GIRL RISING, currently on Kickstarter!

There's something horrible lurking in the mall. It's up to the resident stuck-up snob to save everyone. ... God help us all.

You'll dig this episode if you like: Evil Dead, Halloween, classic Final Girl stories

[chosenofthegods]

Fellas, is your girl ...

* Precious to you?

* Someone you are unwilling to risk coming to harm?

* To be forever an heirloom of your house?

THAT'S NOT YOUR GIRL! That's the One Ring, the Ruling Ring, into which Sauron poured his malice, his cruelty, and his will to dominate all the life of Middle Earth!

[chosenofthegods]

Bad Signs In A New RPG Rulebook

It quickly becomes clear the "What Is An RPG?" section at the front isn't intended as informative but is in fact a genuine question, complete with a number to call if you know the answer.

All the art is AI-Generated. You can tell this from subtle clues like the composition, blurry details and the fact that rather than anything to do with the game they're images of humans being shot with lasers labelled "DIE MEATBAGS DIE"

"What you need to play" is dice, paper, friends, imagination, cards, a roulette table, masks of your characters, desecrated holy objects from at least a dozen religions, a box full of nerdy snakes, a b-tier youtube celebrity and something they only refer to as "the tit-ripper 9000" .

The character creation section seems to be a guide on how to use the Pinkertons to enforce game copyright that was put in by accident.

The example play game session is a transcript of your last gaming session, word for word.

There is a section on avoiding outdated offensive stereotypes in gaming and instead using more modern offensive stereotypes that better resonate with a contemporary audience.

It has a sidebar titled "How to avoid scheduling errors" that just says ";)"

The sample starting adventure is a QR code. When you scan it it downloads Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League but with your party in the place of the main characters. It's actually really technically impressive, but you wish they'd chosen a better game.

Regardless of the genre or tone, It's using the fucking 5e D&D system again. It's not a generic system, guys! I can handle the character sheet being rigged to detonate if written on but this is where I draw the line!

[chosenofthegods]

dear americans,

as a polish queer woman and human rights activist, i know exactly how you're feeling right now and what to expect from these elections. i lived through the 2015-2023 regime of pis, a right-wing populist party that divided families in the same way trump did. i’ve experienced the rise of fascism in poland, the influence of far-right parties like konfederacja, and their “santa’s little helpers”—ordo iuris, an ultra-conservative catholic organization (banned in many countries, mind you) that helped enforce a near-total abortion ban and runs anti-queer campaigns in public spaces. i supported the black protests in 2016 as a middle schooler when they first tried to ban abortion. as an adult, i actively participated in the 2020 women’s strike, running from police tear gas daily after they finally passed the ban. i supported friends who faced charges.

i’ve lived through intense homophobia in poland as a queer teen and adult. i survived the first pride march in my hometown, where far-right extremists threw stones and glass at us. i endured the anti-queer propaganda spread by the ruling party in state-owned media. i survived the “rainbow night,” poland’s own stonewall moment in summer 2020, when police arrested around 50 queer activists following the arrest of margo, a nonbinary activist. i survived the "lgbt-free zones," the targeted violence, the slurs from strangers on the street, and the protests i held against queerphobia. it was hard as fuck, but i survived.

but just because i survived, it doesn’t mean others did. many women died because of the abortion ban—marta, justyna, izabela, dorota, joanna, maria, and many others who didn’t survive pis’s draconian anti-abortion laws. milo, kacper, michał, zuzia (she was 12), wiktor, and other queer and trans kids and young adults took their own lives because of the relentless queerphobia.

despite all of this, our experience in poland can serve as a guide now. here are some tips for staying safe and how we, polish queers and women, organized under the regime:

safety first, always. if you know someone who’s had an abortion, no you don’t. if you know someone is trans, no you don’t. if you know people who help with safe abortions, no you don’t—at least not until you know it’s 100% safe to share. if you are queer or have had an abortion, only share this with people you trust fully. most importantly, not everyone has to be an activist just because they’re part of a minority. if it feels unsafe to share that you're queer, trans, etc., then don’t. it doesn’t make you any less queer.

use secure, encrypted messaging like signal for conversations on potentially risky topics, such as queerness, abortion, organizing counter-actions, protests—anything that might be used against you.

stay anonymous online. if you want to research or report something without surveillance, do not use regular internet. get a vpn (mullvad is affordable and reliable), download the tor browser (for both onion and standard links), and if you plan to whistleblow, consider using a riseup email account.

organize and build networks. community is everything now. support each other, foster independence, because your government won’t have your back. set up collectives, grassroots movements. create lists of trusted professionals—lawyers, doctors, etc.—who can offer support.

to lawyers and doctors: please consider pro-bono work. this is what got us through poland’s hardest times. your work will be needed now more than ever.

for protests or risky actions: always write a pro-bono lawyer’s number on your arm with a permanent marker.

get to know the anarchist black cross federation and other resources on safety culture: "Starting an anarchist black cross group: A guide"; Still We Rise - A resource pack for transgender and non-gender conforming people in prison; Safe OUTside the system by the Audre Lorde Project;

for safe abortion info or involvement: get familiar with womenhelpwomen.

stay radical, stay strong, stay informed: The Anarchist Library

if i forgot to (or didn't) include something, don't hesitate to reblog this post with other resources.

[chosenofthegods]

“Oh how do you stay positive when the world is so awful how can you stay positive when our lives are falling apart-“ SPITE!!!!! ITS SPITE GODDAMN IT!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ANGRY AT THE WORLD AS A TEENAGER?? THAT KID WAS RIGHT AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS AND NO, ITS NOT FAIR, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO MAKE IT FAIR!!!!

[chosenofthegods]

[chosenofthegods]

I think the Fair Folk are franchising

[chosenofthegods]

[chosenofthegods]

i don't just want monster FUCKING i want monster ROMANCE and monster COURTING and monster RECONCILING CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

[chosenofthegods]

New indie rpg Kickstarter from Drowning Moon Studios: Final Girl Rising!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/drowningmoonstudios/final-girl-rising

Do the thing!

[chosenofthegods]

I continue my exaltedposting. Here is Hope for a Universal Summer, my Zenith Solar lady. She's from Whitewall, so I tried to include both asian and slavic elements in her design.

And something like Modern AU! Quartz, my Dusk Abyssal OC, whom you might've seen in my last, like, three posts. Only I have troubles designing modern characters in interesting ways, but oh well. I still like this pic :]