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My foster dog’s adventures in motherhood

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"just write the story you want to read!" they said. well, guess what, now i have 14 unfinished drafts because apparently, i want to read 14 different stories at once.

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how to spot a writer:

unhinged google search history

crying over fake people

owns 200 notebooks (they're all empty)

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i tried the “ask your mom what she would do if you were a bug” trend

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Honestly, you don't need dating advice save for "just be yourself". If a guy isn't seduced by your extensive lecture about coealacanths, or a girl isn't impressed by you gaming the McDonald's systems to finesse yourself 30 free chicken nuggets, you're on a date with the wrong person. Not a bad person, but one that isn't the right match for you, and the way you want to live.

First dates are for showing someone "hey this is the kind of life I like to be living", them doing the same, until you find someone who clicks and you both think "fuck yeah I want to live like this." Whether that's sitting in a café judging joggers, or casually committing small crime for shits and giggles.

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How to make ice cream in Alaska

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just have to make sure

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Imagine getting a cat from an animal shelter and deciding to pick the very sweet and gentle one who hasn't made a single sound the whole time you're there, and being told "yeah she doesn't meow like other cats do", and then when you say "oh it's ok, I don't mind a cat who isn't very vocal!" the shelter's people look at you like they're about to say something but decide against it.

And then you bring your kitty home and the first time she wants your attention, she opens her mouth and the sound that comes out is a low, soothing but abnormally long continuous tune that you can only describe as something between mongolian throat singing and a didgeridoo.

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Just in case you thought all unicorns did in winter was sit whimsically in the snow and frolic with woodland animals, let me assure you that most spend the majority of it complaining.

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I finally took the time to photograph my vintage dip pen nib collection, and I need to share with you all how wonderful and diverse their designs are.

These two are my favorite. Just look at them! One of them is named Gorille and the other Mephisto, but to me they're little pumpkins.

And of course you gotta love the Pinocchio nib. You get to write with the nose of a tiny guy! Just not something you get to do anymore.

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Imagine meeting the most handsome goofiest genderweird butch you've ever seen and she has a dedicated probably monogamous boyfriend who to be fair is actually a pretty cool dude and you're devastated that you can't shoot your shot. Then you find out that up until last year boyfriend was certain he was gay and then he met this handsome goofy genderweird butch and was like oh I like women. Or at least women who are also men sometimes. So I'm bisexual. Also to make things more confusing they're both veterans who are actually pretty staunchly anti-military and hate every admiral they've ever encountered and the butch only went into the military because she desperately needed healthcare coverage for her father and the boyfriend was like. A legacy military brat who realized this is all pretty fucked actually. Congratulations you have encountered modern day Mulan and Li Shang

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this is how some of y’all look and it’s so transparent…..

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this is how some of y’all look and it’s so transparent…..

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guess who