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Gandalf: So I’ve developed an elaborate plan to save middle earth from darkness

Elrond: does it-

Gandalf: it involves hobbits again yeah

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i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

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*right clicks on you*

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Now, I’m not pointing any fingers, but someone did open the Bog Mummy’s secret sarcophagi. I know this because we are swamp cursed.

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Sometimes we get middle-aged guys in the checkout lanes who think they're comedians for saying stuff like "Oh, it's not scanning? It's free!" One left me so confused one day though since it made no sense.

He made a show of putting ingredients for spaghetti on the conveyor going "And [thing]. And [thing]..." He puts the last down and looks back up to me with a smirk saying, "You get it?"

I just stood there and stared blankly while he was expecting some kind of reaction. What the joke was supposed to be is entirely lost on me.

I have a cardboard flap from a bag box and just have written "IF IT DOESN'T SCAN IT MUST BE FREE at the top with about 50-60 tic marks on it and when someone says that I pick it up, add a tic, and put it back.

C: Is that how many times you've heard that joke?

Me: Oh no that's just today. There's not enough cardboard in the US for as many times as customers say it to me.

C: *looks sheepish and doesn't say anything else*

I am doing my small part to stop that line form existing before I murder someone on a bad day. That line is #1 on my list of "lines that piss me the fuck off"

-Rodney

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from one chronically anxious person to another: the world is not going to go up in flames. What happens will be more slow, more bureaucratic, more boring. There is no catastrophe to end all catastrophes, no rapture, no sudden end. You can't give into the call of the void, because there is no void. So you just have to do the work to make tomorrow a better place, anyway. Because that's how it gets better.

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just in case

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ELSIE HOLIDAY - SUN AND MOON BASKET

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Why did Game Freak remove this feature?

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it is actually crazy how much you guys assume you know strangers based on their posts

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Pal - does Harrow pay her rent in 10's and 20's? has she ever paid with a $100 bill?

harrows job: 1 | 2 | 3 |

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rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks

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as a trans man, i don't think i have any clue what it's like to grow up as a cis girl being treated like a cis girl. i have no "female socialization." people tried to beat "girl-ness" into me and it didn't work. i mostly know what it was like to be a weird little gay boy that most adults avoided talking to or about on principle and most people hesitated to assign any gendered terms to out of raw discomfort. i overheard people using "it" towards me on a regular basis.

i spent time with and befriended a lot of other young weird or gay girls and boys because they were the only people who were kind to me, at the time.

nobody's ever fought me on those points.

so... when a trans woman in your life tells you that she's never been a boy, never been a man, that "male socialization" is a malicious lie... believe her too, please, okay? treat girls like they ask you to treat them.

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