cheezuswhizard

[cheezuswhizard]

more ability forms! magnemite this time

[cheezuswhizard]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[cheezuswhizard]

[cheezuswhizard]

[cheezuswhizard]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[cheezuswhizard]

836 - 837

[cheezuswhizard]

oh damn

so I know I'm not super-active on here anymore, but i hit 300K followers on here, and i'm feeling a little sentimental at 1:30 in the morning.

13 years ago, I started this tumblr out of sheer desperation. I was 21 years old and fresh out of college, I knew I wanted to be a voice actor, had no idea how that would ever be achievable, no one knew who I was. I decided to make this Tumblr to practice voice acting and I pledged to make an audio post every single day. I did this without fail for years.

I started out doing fandubs and comic dubs and reading shitposts, anything I could think of. My Lackadaisy dubs were the first thing that got real traction, I'll always be thankful to Tracy for reblogging those (and yes, it is insanely surreal to think that a decade later I would be voicing Mordecai in an animated version for real).

I improved exponentially by posting here every day. I was entirely self-taught, I've never taken a class, I just practiced every day (even when there were countless days I wanted to give up) and through sheer force of will, I started to improve.

Everything I have achieved in my life so far is because of this Tumblr. I truly could not have ever dreamed of being where I'm at now and what I have accomplished. So whether you know me from my old shitposts or comic dubs or Goofy posts or Vines or YouTube videos or my professional voice acting roles, I just want to say thank you for your support. It's been a crazy ride. Looking forward to what comes next.

[cheezuswhizard]

legendary rat fakemon

[cheezuswhizard]

this could be the snart of something big

[cheezuswhizard]

In Legends Arceus, you had to fight for your life as Pokemon tried to kill you in a mostly untamed wilderness, mimicking the real life conditions of pre colonized Hokkaido

In Legends ZA, if you go out after dark, the French will mug you, mimicking the real life conditions of modern Paris

[cheezuswhizard]

Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

[cheezuswhizard]

hey guys when you say something is for the johto starters can you include me in that as well? the johto starters and tepig if it's not too much trouble thanks guys

[cheezuswhizard]

johto pokemon vs pokemon from new york

bonus: that phenomenon where japanese tourists visit paris and have a breakdown bc of how shit it is

[cheezuswhizard]

i love truck stops in winter bc i love a little good old fashioned reconnaissance. i’m at a wyoming truck stop eating taco bell with a bunch of random truckers discussing road conditions like we’re in a high fantasy tavern & inn and we’re warning each other about monsters and highway men. everyone talking about where we’re coming from and going to and how bad it’ll be getting there.

THE tallest man i’ve ever seen in real life just stopped me in the hallway by the coin operated laundry apropos of nothing and asked “which direction are you going?” i said east and he said “good” and walked away.

i caught up with him and asked why and he said “west’s no good right now. i just came from there.”

apparently a truck jackknifed and has traffic backed up ten miles but he sounded for all the world like he just found his village raised to the ground by an evil mage’s army

[cheezuswhizard]

future archaeologists will know you were (not) a boy

[cheezuswhizard]

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon