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2025 lets go

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“it'll all be worth it in the end,"

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literally me core

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this is extremely attractive

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List of eye creams I've used and if I've seen any difference :

Currently on a journey to find a good eye cream to reduce the dark circles under my eyes that have been formed due to the many hours I've spent studying and not sleeping enough at night. :)

*Also these are my opinions, what doesn't work for me might work for u besties :)

Apivita Aqua Beelicious cooling hydrating eye gel:

Does nothing, barely even hydrates. Also it's hard to get the product out.

2. CeraVe Eye Repair Cream:

Does nothing too, but I feel like it's a bit better than the previous one.

3. ESTÉE LAUDER DayWear Eye Cooling Anti-Oxidant Moisture GelCreme :

Does nothing too but feels better than the last two.

4. Lancôme Advanced Génifique Eye Cream :

okay so I've actually noticed a difference with this one but sadly it isn't affordable. Even when it's on sale (like currently u can find it for 45 euros from the original 69 euros) I'm still like nah cause it's only 15ml.

5. Lancôme Advanced Génifique Yeux Light Pearl Youth Activating Eye & Lash Concentrate Serum (20ml)

Unlike the previous Lancôme product, this does nothing. The only good thing about this product is its wand and its ability to stay cool even if u don't store it in the fridge.

~this will be updated when I use a new one~

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These dogs, often referred to as courthouse facility dogs or comfort dogs, are specially trained to provide emotional support to individuals in stressful situations, including victims testifying in court.

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Sometimes I'll go into town to do work and I'll just end up in a book shop after having desert or something

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unfortunately i want to make purchases :(

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-beware, I'm venting about my father again-

I've realised recently that another reason why I have daddy issues is because my father fails to act like a man in many instances and also he never wants to better himself.

He wants to get a promotion at work but doesn't ask for it. He thinks that it's the employer's responsibility to recognise the hard work he's been putting in and just offer it themselves. This has been going on for years now and I keep telling him that if he doesn't ask for it he isn't going to get it. Other people with less experience and work hours have asked and gotten it and he shames them for it. Why would the boss increase ur salary if he knows u can do it and will do it all without budging and with the same basic salary? Demand space, ask for more, ask for your work to be appreciated and if they don't then move somewhere else!

My mother is also like that. They never wanna do something more for themselves, all they do is complain. Complain about coworkers earning more, complaining about how other family members have more money than us and cry me a river omg this constant nagging and complaining about money all these years.. How do you want to get more money when u don't want to look after yourself, when u prove daily that you don't love yourself, that you don't want to better yourself in any way, when you don't take risks, when you reject any opportunity that knocks on your door?

When you don't even want to enjoy the small pleasures of life? Not everything needs to be a struggle. You can make your everyday life better with small little things, like getting a coffee, going for a walk, reading a book, going out to eat, chatting with the neighbor. But they don't want to do that.

In addition to the first part.. Last year we'd gone on a family trip to watch some fireworks and we were in a semi-crowded square (semi because there was a bit of space, people weren't pushing each other is what I mean) and at some point during the performance a woman started pushing my mother and literally had both of her hands on my mother's head to get some photos. And apparently this had been going on for quite some time -and I hadn't caught it cause I was a few steps further from everyone- and both my mother and my father were silent. There just taking it. This woman was practically shoving my mother, had her hands resting on her fcking head. And they were doing nothing. My mother wasn't standing up for herself and of course my father wasn't standing up for his wife. I was livid of course and as another girl carrying the oldest daughter syndrome, I told the woman off -practically yelling at her towards the end- and of course she stopped what she was doing and took her hands off my mother. And of course even though I could see it her face that my mother was grateful, both her and my father told me off about yelling at a stranger. When I told them that she would have kept doing it if I hadn't said anything they answered that they would be okay with that and they'd just take it.

So this realisation, that oh my dad didn't step up for my mom, obviously brought to the surface older memories with similar context. Only difference is with these ones is my intervention doesn't happen (because I was much younger and sadly didn't know better) .Thank God for the internet, truly because all those things and insecurities we've learnt from our parents we wouldn't have been able to identify them and tackle them and make us better people.

Also us oldest daughters, may God protect us and give us the peace (and the apartment) we deserve after all the things we've been through.

I sometimes look at my parents and wonder how are they even together?

How they function daily?

Why do I have to be the man of the house so many times?

I think about how much I want to be alone. Truly living in peace.

That's all I want.