charistupasaligsao

[charistupasaligsao]

100%

[charistupasaligsao]

Yes. I will ❤️

[charistupasaligsao]

I won't. You'll NEVER KNOW.

There are some thoughts in my mind that I won’t tell anyone and they’ll die with me.

[charistupasaligsao]

I'm TRYING to fill my heart with gladness, love and patience. I'm doing my best in this vague fight. I am beaten though, but I won't back down.

[charistupasaligsao]

ENDLESS PEACE, please 🌼

[charistupasaligsao]

Do I have a career?

Yes. TEACHER.

I am well compensated?

Yes. More than enough for me.

Do I have a savings?

Yes. Mom adds more to it most of the time.

Do I have money now?

Yes. More than what I need.

Can I buy my things?

Yes, needs and wants.

Am i HAPPY?

NO.

I didn't plan well my life. I have dreams, UNREACHABLE DREAMS before. If I'm intelligent enough and studied well, chosen different path than what I did, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I'm not this miserable.

I have my little demon inside me wondering and anguishing my what ifs and why nots.

I have these hanging questions of endless marks that WILL NEVER BE ANSWERED.

I'm tired.

I have money.

I have food.

I have gadgets in different forms.

I have house in hill, in city and in seaside.

I can afford moving piece right now if I want to.

But NO, happiness doesn't come that way.

May be I'm just bored due to Quaratine Season.

Or maybe I'm just tired of everyday routine.

I don't know.

I just want to close my eyes, disappear for a while or forever, then wake up and BOOM! -- cloud 9 😏

There were no orientation that life of an adulthood would be this insanely unsatisfying.

Maybe I should buy a lifetime package of Pixie Dust and trust Peter Pan's trail.

I just hope Wendy's happy with marrying someone and didn't suffer adulthood just like mine.

I'll pray more indeed. My Guardian Angel might struggle now. 😁

Life, why are you so damaging? Why is everything weakening? Why am I stuck?

[charistupasaligsao]

My Children 🐻

Yes, I have children. My firstborn was a gift to me on my 3rd Birthday. "Charibear", the neon pink, light-bodied, good-for-three-year-old Teddy Bear. I always whisper to hear in every Tea Party that we have all my heartaches over why Pink PowerRanger seldomly shown in the TV, Teacher's not giving me enough star stamps, my love for the pink bow, my hate for afternoon nap-- my childhood KACHISMISAN. 8 years of love and love, so long, my firstborn was washed when a flood swept our dear village. She was soaked in mud, too much dirt consumes her. I had left with the worst option, to burry my first love. Farewell my 8 years cuddle buddy.

A leap of 7 years when I was, again, blest with another fluffy baby. Still neon, huggable but in 2-foot and half size, my new happiness. Same with Ate Chari, Boody has same birthdate with me. She's my buddy, my travel partner, my crying shoulder, my fortress towards heartbreaking distress of my career. She had seen me shifting jobs since. Haha 🤣

5 years rolled by and a third in a row came, Cucu. My human size Lovie. Too Filipino for his fair-brown tone, my Cucu has laid eyes by the 28th of December. My adorable Buddy made his thrown in my heart after the two neon Lovies. He's my Buddy in my brother's house. Most of the time, Cucu was left to guard the house, I do hope he's doing his job. 😁

Recently, Pato and I wasn't able to celebrate the day of hearts due to circumstances. Thus, we had it a week after. Funny thing was, I guess its an answered prayer of Cucu, that a baby brother was given life. Bakbak, because his dear father named him after my hatest animal in the world, 🐸 (Bakbak). Bakbak became Cucu's partner in guarding the house, but most of the time, he's just lying on the carpet. Though he's in Blue SWAT Uniform, I guess Lil Bakbak needs more time to stretch.

For the 4 children, only Bakbak has a known father, still were processing for the adaption of the 2 fluffy asses. For this, I can't promise to be the best mother and I can't assure that Pato would be the best father, but I'll have it that we'll be a great family even though Ate Chari left us too early.

From my family to you, may you enjoyed every bit of life and learn to be grateful 💞

[charistupasaligsao]

I miss writing things up. But I miss the most is my happiness. Long lost self, where are you? Don't back down now. We are on this right? We can make it right? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️I'm tired.

[charistupasaligsao]

Exactly 💞💞💞💞

Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

[charistupasaligsao]

💓💓💓💓💓

[charistupasaligsao]

Mermaid alert 🧜🏻‍♀️🧜🏻‍♀️🧜🏻‍♀️🧜🏻‍♀️

[charistupasaligsao]

Hoping, having faith 💞💞💞

[charistupasaligsao]

💚💚💚💚💚

[charistupasaligsao]

Hahahahaha ❤️💙💚💛🧡💜🖤

[charistupasaligsao]

Too much fear, sometimes, are quite consuming 🙂🙂

[charistupasaligsao]

Loving a person, I'd say ❤️

“you know what’s the most difficult thing in life?….. the thing you cannot control. it controls you instead.”

— @sparkandashes // things that ruin me

[charistupasaligsao]

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰