chantalleadger

[chantalleadger]

Its been raining all day

I wanted to go out for a run...I guess thats not happening isnt it

[chantalleadger]

Father´s Day Binge

TW: Self harm, Self hate, Eating Disorders, Vent talk. DO NOT DO THESE THINGS, IM SICK.

I overate. There was so much food everywhere and I was so stressed tierd and hungry. I couldnt even finish my workout today because of nausea as well. I usually do 3 hours of running but today I did 2.5 bc I had to shower and go to my dad´s house. Now there´s a lot of fast food at home as well -sigh- Im so tierd of being alive.

I dont want to feel sick tomorrow when I go for a run, but I know I will and the nerves won´t help at all...

I just hate myself so much.

I even cutted my leg because of that and because I didn´t do too well on a work-test.

I just want a job or to be worth it.

I dont want to go back to my days of food addiction. I just couldn´t handle it if one day I woke up and saw the old me-the disgustingly FAT piece of shit that I used to be on highschool.

I hate myself so much. I can´t wait to get used to running 3 hours per day again...but at the same time.

I have been running that much for so long and now that I lowered the amount of exercise and got busy with a job I could finally even lose some weight (1kg). And I have a small sense that is telling me that, if I don´t lower that amount and start to eat less instead, I will cause myself an injury. I´ve been doing this for at least 6 months now, but Im still pretty scared of it.

Difference is that, when I was busy I was too anxious and busy to eat and now I have my grandma living with me, someone who constantly brings fast food and bread to the house and dosnt let me do anything around the house. Theres nothing PHYSICAL that I can do to distract myself.

This is why I hate myself. Ive been applying for jobs but, no matter what I do, no one hires me. Every rejection fuels my next run. Every rejection makes me want to cut every single inch of my body with a blade.

I daydream of waking up one day with scars all over my arms and legs. Of touching them, petting them, feeling them. I yarn the texture of hard dry blood and the pain that makes it all feel real. If that is combined with touching my starving ribcage and collarbones...ouf. That would be so amazing.

[chantalleadger]

I've been doing just 2 hours of cardio this week but I lost one kilogram! That's pretty weird for me but the change is welcome

[chantalleadger]

I find it funny how all the mealspos I ever see showcase a small plate with 2 or 3 bananas or fruit, because I'm like: "dude. A whole KILOGRAM of zucchini is like 160 calories." You truthfully could be ingesting more fiber with less calories than what most -300 calories mealspos show but ok.

Being serious now, everyone's path is different. Also volume is not everything, I know. I just find it weird

[chantalleadger]

we're getting bad again..

[chantalleadger]

Welp it happend. It's been raining all morning nonstop. Couldn't go run so I'll have to wait until the evening.

I can't eat until I work out so I'll have to make the groceries, perhaps drink tea and program until the evening 🥱. Goodbye to my 52 kilograms I guess. I'll be hard to go back to that weight.

[chantalleadger]

I feel so weak but it's worth it. I weighted myself just after exercising today and I'm at 52.7-51.9 (considering I just drank a 750ml bottle of batter before getting on the scale, I probably weight 51.9 or so. It's petty, I know X') ). This is amazing because I was stuck weighting 53-54 for a while and I'm finally making progress :D. HOWEVER I'm kinda scared. The next 3 days will be raining, and tomorrow specifically it will rain ALL DAY. This means that I have to find a period of at least 2 hours when it's not raining to run and finish that workout. (because that's my main work out and I usually run 3 hours now days)

Is either that or not exercising that day, which terrifies me a bit. Not exercising will cut out my hunger a LOT anyways, but I'm not sure if my fat ass stomach will adapt that fast.

[chantalleadger]

22 and kinda sad ngl

ana tumblr I need adult friends on here

so like rb if you're over 18

[chantalleadger]

Does anyone have any advice in how to stop eating carbs or flours?

My will is weak...

[chantalleadger]

HOW METABOLISM WORKS

we know what metabolism is, right? that annoying thing that makes skinny girls skinny even though they eat a lot. but how does it actually work? and why do some people have a higher metabolism than others? and how can you boost your metabolism?

metabolism is compounded of 4 things.

1. BMR - basal metabolic rate (70% of your total betabolism)

this is how many calories you burn at rest. if you were to not move at all, not eat, not do anything, just sit and stay alive, this is how many calories you would burn. you can't boost this part, because it depends on age, hight and weight. you can calculate it on different sites. just look up "how to calculate your BMR".

2. NEAT - non-exercise activity thermogenesis (15% of your metabolism)

this is the most important part. these are how many calories you burn by just doing basic activities. ex: brushing your teeth, walking (that is why walking is better than HIITs), sleaning up, washing dishes, talking, moving around etc. (these don't include the exercises you do). by doing as many activities everyday you burn more.

3. TEF - thermic effect of food (10% of your metabolism)

these are how many calories you burn while digesting food. some foods need more energy in order to be burned (ex: protein), some don't. it doesn't make such a huge difference, but usually protein keeps you fuller.

4. EAT - exercise activity thermogenesis (5% of your metabolism)

look at how low the procentage is for exercise. and usually people think that if they exercise they will lose a ton of weight in a short time. ofc, exercising is amazing for health in general and for feeling happier yada yada yada. but it's not the most important when you want to burn more calories. expanding your NEAT activities can burn more than 20 min of intense exercise.

now that we understood how metabolism works, let's see how we can burn more calories and boost our metablism. and no, it's not by drinking some kind of green tea or doing weird rituals.

scientifically, muscle burns a lot more calories than not having it. muscle needs calories to just stay there, on your bones. and this can increase your BMR by a ton.

how do we build muscle? (and no, you won't get bulky by just having a few muscles)

there are two ways. either you do body wight exercises (exercises where you use your body as weight. you can look up exercises) or lifting weights.

for weightloss and metabolism boosting it is recommended to build muscles. doing countless of cardio is not completely useless, but it's not as sustainable. cardio burns more calories ONE time. but afterwards you feel hungrier and with kess energy. strength training doesn't burn as many calories AT ONCE as cardio, but burns more on the long run. and helps you stay skinny longer.

i hope this helped at least one person. stay safe luvs!!

[chantalleadger]