! Triggering ! Dumb trauma blog | ¿ CSA ? | Interact if wanted ? I'm not good at responding but I'll try | Trauma dump if you want
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i dont know how i became such an inconvenience. but i know everything and everybody would be so much better without me.
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there’s a special place in hell for parents who act like their child’s mental illness isn’t real and they’re making it up for attention
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i got nothing for my birthday and here my little brother’s getting a cake and more than two gifts for his, decorations AND cards, and my mothers still trying to tell me she loves me
#obviously she doesnt#she has harsher punishments for me compared to my brothers for things they do DAILY#or at least often#she doesnt even see it#but now i keep ping ponging because shes unstable and im unstable so obviously we're never gonna like each other#she just encourages my instability by being unstable herself like jesus#its exhausting#delete later#rambles
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in all seriousness it's very alienating knowing theres Something Wrong With You. like seeing your mental illness come through in your behaviour and thought processes and knowing it's irrational and unhealthy, knowing other people are reading you as weird or stupid, and not being able to do anything about it is such a lonely experience
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Abuser: I'm not the one making decisions, I'll just decide what kind of hell I put you through if you don't make the exact decision I want you to.
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Crying about school is the lamest shit ever bc after you get done drying your tears you don’t feel better because the work still isn’t done and you just wasted 15 minutes
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#she invaded my privacy; i dont trust HER#but she keeps saying she doesnt trust me so i guess we just arent fit to be family huh#maybe i dont wanna be around her anymore#this isnt something we're ever going to get through#delete later#rambles#when i think of happiness i think of a life without her#as mean as it sounds and would sound to her
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i wanna go back to the 18th so i can fix everything
#like just not be caught playing pokemon go like thats all i have to do#delete later#rambles#i dont wanna live anymore#if this has to go on for 2 1/2 years
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mother said i cut because i was copying my friends and then i kept telling her mean things she did to me and how i wanted an apology at least just for it to be settled in my mind and she refused
so we had another mini-fight
third day of this shit
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i keep starting arguments i should just keep quiet but lately ive just been so tired
“why am i grounded?” “think about it for a few years”
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Parents do nots:
Do not ignore your child
Do not insult your child
Do not abuse your child
Do not hit your child
Do not ignore child’s health, both mental and physical
Do not criticize their interests
Do not tell them to starve just because they don’t like what you cooked
Do not make them feel guilty when you just hurt them
Do not remind them of every little mistake they make
Do not abandon them
Do not neglect them
Do not make them feel like freaks or outcasts for just being who they are
Do not ignore their lack of consent
Do not treat them like property
Do not snoop through their shit
Do not try to “fix” everything you hate about them
Do not treat them like figurines or mini models of yourselves - THEY ARE THEIR OWN PERSON
This is a more personal one that many might not relate to - but I’m adding it anyways, do NOT have sex when they’re home, awake, and near your room! And for FUCK SAKES - close and lock the fucking door so they don’t walk in on it!!
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Hahahahaha. This is way too accurate.
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she kept saying she did those things because she was at the end of her line but as soon as im at the end of my line screaming and yelling obviously saying things i dont mean she gets to say it hurts HER, why cant i say what she says hurts ME without her making it about her
she doesnt listen
thats what ive been trying to say but she wont listen
she gets to push my around and shove my head onto the floor when she doesnt like what im saying but if i were to ever do that (i cant im too small) she’d hate me? like what? im tired
#why arent I allowed to feel negatively too#whys she the only one allowed to feel negatively#to wanna give up#why cant i#she wont listen#i keep telling her#like i get it you have a POINT OF VIEW in life too but that doesnt justify what you did ! that doesnt justify what i did either !#why do i have to accept i hurt you when you cant accept you hurt me ????#when she hurts me its all in my head ! im making it all up ! but when i hurt her its all my fault and i should be held accountable ?#i was a child !#delete later#rambles#ive been going through so many emotions these past couple of days#i have no clue what im supposed to think#i thought i was in the wrong that i was a monster and i still do but now that i can put stuff into words i know why i didnt feel heard
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