you're more than just a corpse to a psychopathic clownjamie, 26, he/rat/ita blog for... less desirable shit
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god i wish i was a normal video game player. i hate gittin’ so mad about ‘em. an’ i hate that it’s some stupid shit that runs deeper than some quick an’ easy “don’t take the game too seriously.” i take everything too seriously. that’s my issue
#⚠️.exe#i wanna play overwatch an’ enjoy it agin. it used ta make me feel better#it’s prolly just. already present anger. that boils up when it gits the chance#so maybe it’ll go away once i’m somewhere else. somewhere better#sigh
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i don’t know. i don’t know what’s been goin’ on. it feels like it changes inside but it feels more like i’m just rotting in my bedroom
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been really struggling with identity recently. not sure what’s me, what’s our personality disorders, an’ what’s completely different parts. i really don’t wanna be a subsystem, but i guess it’s entirely possible. worried it’s not one at all, though
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i went on a bike ride and now i feel better .
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!!!
#I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!!#this always happens every time we make plans i look forward to they always fucking fall through and we never get to do fucking anything#i take care of them n’ we do anything n’ everything they could want to#but do not fucking ask me what i wanna do ‘cuz that’ll always curse it#not even easy shit#whatever. it don’t matter. i saw this comin’#an’ i shoulda listened to my gut
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cannot wait to have a cock actually
#metoidioplasty… sounds really good#i just can’t wait till i can *git hard*#wanna show our partner. want it ta be able t’ tell when i’m hard#that’d be so hot…#⚠️.exe#osha violation
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left alone - fiona apple / geoff mcfetridge / does the universe fight for souls to be together? - jamie varon
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Insane Clown Posse in an edition of
Penthouse Magazine which was published in September of
1999
Gonna censor this one just in case
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thinkin’ about my personality disorder traits
#think i hold like. a lot more of 'em than i realize#or somethin' in there does at least.#an' i've never really identified with our borderline traits an' how they present in the rest of us#so like. maybe i should think about it#⚠️.exe
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This man can’t be fixed. I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down.
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#*bottles up my feelings*#*again*#better than talkin’ about ‘em#i think we need ta git back inta vent art ‘cuz it’s all that kept us at bat#but it started feelin’ so pointless an’ stupid an’ dramatic we just stopped doin’ it#‘cuz it was too much effort to only feel worse#⚠️.exe
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#i honestly wish i could just split at this point#but at the same time i’m so awfully goddamned scared of it#i can’t lose more of myself. more than i already have#i already feel like so little of a real person and i cannot deal with myself splittin’ more than i already have#i just want some semblance of an identity#fuck’s sake#⚠️.exe
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