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Celebrating Friendship

"Parce que c'était lui ; parce que c'était moi" – Montaigne

"Because it was he; because it was I."

Montaigne's words resonate deeply when asked why he loved Etienne de La Boétie, his dear friend who had passed away.

"Every true love and friendship is a matter of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough."

In the Illiad, the relationship between Achilles and Patroclus takes center stage in the stories associated with the Trojan War. After the death of Patroclus, Achilles famously expressed his grief:

"I would die here and now, for I could not save my comrade. He has fallen far from home, and in his hour of need, my hand was not there to help him. What is there for me?"

Rumi met Shams of Tabriz, and together they forged an incredible friendship, brimming with love and care. When Shams passed away, Rumi channelled his tears and screams into poetry, making him one of the most quoted poets in the world.

"Friend, our closeness is this: anywhere you put your foot, feel me in the firmness under you." – Rumi

Few friendships have left their mark on history, such as those of Montaigne and Etienne, Achilles and Patroclus, or Rumi and Shams. Speculation sometimes arises, with assumptions that these friendships must have been romantic. However, it's crucial to recognize that in a world where only certain forms of love are widely understood, accepted, and celebrated, there's often a tendency to pigeonhole deep and profound friendships into a romantic or familial framework.

For me, personally, I struggle to embrace this notion. In a society where romantic love and family bonds are celebrated with dedicated holidays and ceremonies, friendships often go unnoticed, underappreciated. Yet, friendships are truly life's precious treasures. They empower us to grow, to be our authentic selves, and to embrace our true nature without judgment. In the realm of genuine friendship, there is no room for jealousy or manipulation; it provides us the wings to soar as our bold and authentic selves. While it's entirely possible to lead a fulfilling life without a romantic partner, I believe that life without friends would be incomplete.

In recent years, friendships have become a central part of my existence. They have led me to ponder the different types of friendships we encounter on our journey. There are childhood friendships, where memories are the glue that binds us. Intentional friendships form as we discover who we are and grow into our true selves, and despite their recent origin, they often carry more depth. Then there are friendships so profound that others cannot comprehend them, leading to speculation and questioning.

My truth is that I've cultivated friendships that feel like soul connections, friendships that make me feel safe in this world, friendships that allow me to be my authentic self.

Sometimes, I've questioned whether the depth of my love for my friends was misunderstood or labelled as something more than it is. It's intriguing how society often struggles to comprehend the profound bonds of friendship.

But as I put my thoughts into words, I know friendships stand as a testament to the richness of human connections. In a world where love often wears predefined masks, my friendships are genuine and heartfelt. They are a fundamental part of my life, weaving through my experiences, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Friendships, in their own right, are neither lesser nor greater than romantic love or familial bonds. They are unique and irreplaceable. They are the compass that guides us through life's highs and lows, the unwavering support during our trials and triumphs. They offer a sanctuary where we can be our truest selves without judgment.

I cherish the friends who have walked beside me on this journey, for they are the stars that illuminate my darkest nights and the sunshine that brightens my brightest days. These friendships have molded me into the person I am today, and they continue to shape my path toward tomorrow.

So, today, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my dear friends. You are the laughter that fills my soul, and the shoulders I lean on. You are my confidants, my comrades, my chosen family. And for all that you are, I thank you and I love you.

Happy birthday, Matt, and thank you for your love and friendship.