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reblogging this over on my Designated Fic Sideblog so that nobody can say tjey Didnt sign up for a whole essay. im gleefully rubbing my hands together im so glad you understand the worms in my brain about all these concepts

nobody else survives the raid, and it sucks exactly as much as youd expect 👍not just because of the trauma either, but how greeds response to it is to basically shove everything behind bars and stay in Boss Mode for bidos sake as well as his own state of mind, and, this is not really helping bido actually because now he feels pressured to Also keep things under wraps and neither of them are talking about it and its agonizing. yaaaay

(although to be fair the angst factor wasnt the only reason i didnt rescue more of the gang. i think keeping greed and bido as "sole survivors" gives them an extra measure of similarity with scar, albeit on a much smaller scale, and it allows for more intimate connections in their newly formed group than if there were more people with established relationships. Also i have so many characters to juggle. already.)

re: the disability thing! viewing chimeras through a disability lens is super interesting to me especially as you mentioned, with the whole divide between those who are more visually chimerified vs those who arent. in terms of real world discrimination parallels i think its the angle that works most directly since being a chimera isnt something youre born into, its something that Happens to you– and just like disabling injuries or illnesses, there are chimeras who wear their "scars" (!!!) with pride, those who view them as neutrally as their non-chimera bodies, and then those who cant see them as anything other than a constant reminder of a traumatizing event

and scar of course falls very squarely in the latter camp. i think because of that, his gut feelings on chimeras are like. pity, revulsion, projecting his own suicidality onto them..... hes a very empathetic person and thats working against him in this case, because he sees somebody who underwent the same kind of trauma as himself and he gets into a spiral about it. i dont think hed go so far as to straight up kill another human chimera like he did with nina, and i also dont think hes consciously thinking of them in a disparaging way either. just that he sees them and he Feels It and hes so sorry that they still have to be alive. & somebody should probably let him know thats a little fucked up. fortunately bido can self advocate

it does indeed take some wrangling to get them to team up and greed being there is the main obstacle because of course he is. scar recognizes the ouroboros from when lust and gluttony beat his ass in the sewers, and greed maybe isnt Outwardly threatening but hes still weird and offputting. so they all need to save each others lives a few times before it really sticks lol

its so funny that you ask about the mei philosophers stone thing, because the main factor driving the xingese ascendancy sideplot is. due to their varying standards of "immortality", greed telling mei hes not immortal makes her think he isnt a solution to her quest. and he in turn fails to mention the stone. therefore she Doesnt immediately drop everything and bring him back to xing. leaving ling free to realize theres a whole homunculus wandering around in the company of his rival, and he needs to Grab! That!! Stone!!! before she figures out she has it

that subplot has been one of my favorite parts to plan out honestly...... ling tends to get pretty egregiously flanderized by the fandom (perchance the #1 winners of the international "you fell for the façade the character is putting up on purpose" awards), and i really enjoy the idea of giving his ruthless pragmatism a chance to shine through. while also of course never letting the audience forget that He Is 15 Years Old

like, here we have a kid who is under impossible pressure, and facing ridiculously slim odds, and yet is skilled and determined enough that he keeps getting barely close enough to taste victory. and then it slips out of his reach again. if a stone HADNT fallen into his lap i think he absolutely would have kept pulling out all the stops to get his hands on one, and given that lanfan already cut off her own arm for him, well..... sunk cost fallacys a hell of a drug

(✨️🎰✨️ 99% of heirs leave amestris right before they hit it big, keep making terrible sacrifices ✨️🎰✨️)

the stone mei winds up bringing back is one of kimblees, the one made from the souls of marcohs team. i feel like thats the only ethical option lmao

SCAR EPILOGUE MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL AND I AM CLAWING AT THE WALLS ABOUT HOW FAR DOWN THE LINE IT IS. i want to write it NOW..... i know i Could just do it out of order but its a little treat for me waiting at the end yknow. some extra motivation

interestingly, if im remembering correctly it was actually father who taught alchemy to amestris, vs hohenheim who got dug out of that sand dune right outside xerxes and yoinked back to xing. he and father dont seem to have met since then, so the implication i took away was that current alkahestric practices are likely more similar to how xerxes did alchemy, in contrast to how father set up his whole apparatus and taught alchemy in a way that would benefit his purposes

in that sense amestrian alchemy is canonically a perverted version of the original practice– maybe because of that, allowing for the learning of alkahestry/his brothers brand of alchemy Would be a compromise scar could agree to someday

the greed and bido side of thingsssss..... i could ramble about them All Day but most endgame things i still want to keep as my fun little secrets. i CAN at least say that im giving them happy endings, because the sad ones already exist. theyve suffered enough. although i am making them suffer more before they get there so maybe tjats hypocritical of me

one of the main things that im keeping in mind is like. the idea of "home" is something that mei, scar, greed and bido all sort of circle around in different orbits. because you have mei with her home under threat of destruction, trying to prevent it, and then scar greed and bido with their homes already destroyed and wanting to help her because of that. scar having essentially sworn off making anywhere new his home, because theres no replacing what he lost and he cant risk losing anything else. and then greed and bido having lost multiple homes before, and now that theyre adrift again theyre trying to ignore how this latest time theyd both convinced themselves it could be permanent

so. im kind of handing them multiple different options over the course of the thing. greeds old houses, bidos long-lost family, the town of wisteria from the light novels, meis clan in xing, the ruins of the nest. where is their next home going to be. how long will it last. What Is Home Even, how do you keep the danger away. and im hoping i can effectively build up to the conclusion that under oppression, theres no wall you can put up or border you can draw that will magically keep the powers that be from affecting you. every home is a prison until youre free. and who knows if im going to be able to do a theme like that justice, but im armed with 2 rewatches of black sails and a dream in my heart

Also. i decided that in order to have the gang go to briggs for the scars-brothers-journal fetch quest, greed and bido will have to cuddle for warmth the entire time. which is surely a completely practical decision on my part with zero ulterior motivation

god this took so long to write out that the sun is literally setting. thank you so much for your thoughts they fuel me

feasting on all the fantastic au/oc discussion that happens to share several commonalities with my own Scar As A Major Protagonist AU (that i swear im working on very slowly. i just have the curse of perfectionism and i keep going back and reworking things when i should be WRITING,) and its making me want to share my ideas too....

the general starting premise is that instead of getting abducted by bradley, greed manages to escape the raid on the devils nest with bido, and then via a series of dominos the two of them wind up teaming up with mei and then scar shortly thereafter

the entire idea kind of spun out of thinking about how scar would react to actually getting to know a human chimera. his pity for nina– similar to how he seems to view al– is such a goldmine for character exploration to me, because hes gotta be projecting right

like despite the obvious differences in their respective situations, from scars pov he might as well be just as inhuman as nina is, except HE isnt Allowed to die yet because he has a Duty to fulfill. which is both the last thread of self preservation hes grasping at and also a thing he hates himself for doing. its this big tangled up knot of religious guilt and survivors guilt and internalized ableism and the fact that he cant blame his brother for saving him so instead he makes a monster out of himself. and i think if he had the chance to come to terms with a chimera as still being human in all the ways that matter, and talking about those complicated body-humanity-autonomy feelings with someone who gets it on some level, maybe it could help him start to rebuild his sense of personhood

and. just generally. i think if he had more people to hang out with on the regular than Snitchy McLandlord, Self-Flagellant Genocide Collaborator, and One Literal Child. He might maybe perhaps have had better self esteem by the time the moral-superiority-in-incrementalism lecture hall power hour rolled around.

i too am killing kimblee early. scar unfortunately doesnt get to him, but he does get shot, impaled, and finally fall down a big hole and die, which i think is almost as good

scar DOES get to kill envy though. because roy "im mad you killed this one guy i liked. genocide what genocide" mustang doing it was just not as deep a plot point as people think it was. the fight with wrath was good, but i think itd be interesting to end his vengeance quest more somberly- not facing an equally-matched opponent, but putting down a pathetic, weak, spiteful thing that refuses to grow or change

uhhh what else. oh right. mei also takes the throne here, since ling never gets the stone (despite his continued efforts. his character arc is shaped like that of a pendulum. im making him worse) and i think with her at the helm, amestris would have way less leverage in any post-canon negotiations with ishval

Sure of course your super huge and powerful neighbor will help reestablish the cross-desert railroad and enrich your failing economy..... IF and ONLY IF you adhere to ALL the stipulations put forth by the ishvalan leadership council ^_^ the gun im holding? dont worry about it

im giving him so many cats when everythings said and done, however to his consternation hes doomed to wind up a beloved pillar of the community instead of just some guy who gets to hang out with cats. theres a renewed independence movement to organize & also a burgeoning faction of people who argue that because scar uses alchemy and hes cool, maybe god is cool with alchemy some of the time, like as long as youre responsible, to which scar is at the forefront of every debate desperately telling them I Am An Outlier Adn Should Not Have Been Counted

Hell yeah, more AU goodness! 🤩 Trust me, not only do I understand your pain in being caught in a perfectionism loop, but you'll get no judgment from me about taking your time with it too.

Super ecstatic that you decided to share what you've got cooking, so let's go:

Starting off with Greed and Bido is very on brand 😌 Glad he escapes getting liquified and drunken by his core self. I assume that some other members of the Devil's Nest crew survive as well? Or are they all slaughtered, same as in canon? If it's just the two of them left, then man, that's gonna hurt (and the angst~). Maybe we get a revelation that some survived later on?

I dig that Bido and Greed bump into Mei first. I wonder how fresh her arrival in Amestris must be before bumbling into an entire wayward homunculus and human-chimera. Meeting Scar after that would seem so normal in comparison lol

Oh- Oh! Omg wait, that's a fantastic angle to explore. That really taps into his self-hatred in such a unique way that I never thought about before! Alchemy is already a heresy for him that which he cannot separate from himself due to his brother's arm being the sacrifice that saved his life. Yet why wouldn't he see the sanctity of his own body as having been marred by this grave taboo to the point that he hardly sees it as truly human? If he can use this tainted gift to exact vengeance against everyone who tore Ishval to shreds, than even his unholy, "desecrated" body can be put to use. But the way this lashes out against both himself and others who don't want to die simply because someone/the state forcibly transmuted them with other living beings- damn, that's juicy

No seriously, this fuckin' rules! Using the chimera angle to really crack open the darkest pit inside of him, and how Scar's one vestige of purpose is what keeps him from succumbing to his self-flagellating dehumanization. I love that you're looking at this via survivor's guilt, the conundrums of his piety, and even the ableism imbedded in the assumptions on what constitutes a "worthy" body.

On the latter point: I'm curious to see if I understand the every facet of the ableism angle. Is it that chimerification can be seen as a disability brought on by alchemical experimentation (which I can definitely see) in contrast to Scar seeing it as an irrevocable perversion and assault on the human form, thus (in his mind) dooming the victim to be fully inhuman and in need of euthanization? Because again, I can see this as a loaded assumption on a "proper human body" vs a "destroyed, unworthy body", but I feel like I could be missing other potential readings here 🤔 It feels like it's that plus more. Hmmm

Yes, Bido (and maybe some other chimeras?) gets to help Scar navigate the messy bodily-autonomy-humanity Gordian Knot. Surely that has to unravel slowly (it's less Gordian than it may seem lol), since I imagine Scar's initial reaction to Bido must be a... heightened, perhaps pejorative one. To me I would imagine it to be quite dehumanizing (if not outright threatening) towards the poor lizard chimera man. :( Not that Greed would let anything happen to him, but then again Greed revealing himself to be a homunculus would also have to throw Scar for a loop too. We all know Greed can't shut his yap about being one, if he thinks he'll get a rise from someone who can even grasp what that is. Shame he maybe doesn't have Roa around to sledgehammer his entire cranium to smithereens. Unless? (Either that or I imagine that, given potential misgivings, Scar attempts to disintegrate Greed's head and gets the revelation of his homunculus nature right there and then.)

Wait, now I'm just recalling how cold Scar had been upon first meeting Mei when she was chilling with Yoki in canon. (I don't blame him, I'd also ask that bumbling mustachioed twat why the hell there's a random kid hiding out with them.) But now this tween shows up with a homunculus AND a chimera? Dude must have wanted to walk into the ocean lol

LMFAOOOOO STOPPP the way you described the canon party Scar had to travel with 😭😭😭 And the fucking "moral-superiority-in-incrementalism lecture hall power hour" PLEASE

Though tbh yeah, he needed some other folks to bounce off of who weren't former state actors, and, much as Mei is an absolute treasure, some adult company who also don't see him as a monster or a threat (to the extent Yoki and Marcoh do) would be very good for him. This is assuming that he and Bido are on solid terms sooner rather than later, but if Scar still struggles with being around chimeras for some time than maybe it would only be Greed who doesn't shrink in Scar's presence (besides the best kid ever, Mei, who never feared or distrusted him 😌).

Oh man, Mei might not realize that she's become travel buddies with a walking philosopher's stone. :0 Or does she immediately grasp that homunculi hold a stone within their bodies?

A standing ovation is needed for the death you're serving that pompous fascist Kimblee, and then an encore for good measure too. Stupendous, magnificent, and fully deserved. 10/10 The big hole at the end really cements his fate as comedic poetry, really. Scar may not get that personal catharsis, but he should get a front row seat to enjoy the carnage all the same. (Not suggesting that Scar has to be in the scene, just imagining him getting a theatre all to himself with the murder playing on loop while he snacks on some popcorn.)

Scar killing Envy is an intriguing change. Fully agreed that Mustang setting Envy ablaze wasn't that deep, and frankly a pretty lousy scene too. And yeah, Scar getting to fight and kill Wrath in canon was surprisingly good, but given Envy's hand in exploiting the tension of the occupied Ishvalans to jumpstart their genocide, it feels far more relevant to have Scar put them down than fucking Mustang. Envy's writhing pathetic self contrasted to Scar's typically quiet, self-contained demeanour- of course this is coming off of the canon again. However that fight or scene shakes out in your AU may or may not have Scar in that same emotional state.

Ling being denied the stone and what that does to his character isn't explored enough (bless these AUs). "im making him worse" ough that's enticing. Does Ling spiral? Does the worst in him begin to claw through the surface as he more desperately vies for whatever stone is in reach? His position as a moral paragon crumbling as he flails for the seat of power he desires, with his greed looking less and less admirable would be *chef's kiss*

Which makes me realize that the stone that propels Mei into the head of the Xingese empire wouldn't be Greed's stone, right? Perhaps it's Envy's?

But yesssss, Mei leveraging her new power to force Amestris to adhere to the Ishvalan council's demands! No need to worry about the gun, since it's symbolic of the sheer economic devastation that would sweep Amestris if they refuse Ishval whatsoever. :3c

The last bullet point-!!!

Scar gets to have his DOZENS of cats, and and he gets to be LOVED and RESPECTED, he's a- *sniffs* he's a PILLAR of his COMMUNITY- *breaks down into a sobbing fit*

But yes! The Ishvalan Independence Movement is underway and it needs him! He wouldn't let his people down at such an integral point in Ishval's history and future. And I'm goin nuts over the fact that some people are beginning to see alchemy with some renewed nuance, much to the chagrin of Scar, as he sits central to this shift in perspective. Despite what he's seen of Ishvalan alchemy and Xingese alkehestry (fuck Amestrian alchemy, no I don't care that all alchemic practices stem from Hohenheim and Xerxes stfu it's cultural drift goddammit) Scar still being adamant in the teachings he's followed all his life is very in-character. But I can see that slowly eroding and making way for some greater peace with his own brandishing of alchemy alongside his greater acceptance of his body and where his soul sits in Ishvala's eyes. 🥹 And all the cats. All the damn cats he could ever nurture and cuddle!

Ugh I love this AU too! I know you wanted to give me the Scar-centric details, but I'm big time curious about Greed and Bido's side of things. Where this journey takes them, what they have to contend with and what they lose and gain in the process, and what becomes of them. Does Greed get to live on even with the decimation of Father and the other homunculi? Do they rebuild the Devil's Nest? Can Bido live comfortably and openly as a chimera the way the four chimera-men do, or is he destined to continue living in society's underbelly due to not having been 'designed' (so to speak) to shift between a fully human morphology and his animal-infused morphology?

Many many apologies for the time it took to reply. U_U I loved going over the details you've layed out and I can't wait to one day read it 👀 The day this fic starts getting posted I'll be there!

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I want to write. I have ideas. I open document. I type four of the worst sentences ever created in the english language. I daydream the rest of the scene. I close document.

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I love a character raised to be a weapon as much as the next guy. But what really gets me is a character raised to be a shield. Who can’t fathom being needed—or even being wanted— beyond keeping others safe. Who believe they are alive only to insure someone doesn’t die. no matter the cost. Characters who self-sacrifice not because they think they deserve it, but because no one else does deserve it, and it’s their job to protect.

Characters who’ve been told that’s why your important. Your worth something because this other person/ thing is important, and you are here solely to keep them safe.

Bonus points if it’s not a legitimate job they’ve been given. Maybe at one point it was, but now that they are free from it, they haven’t given up that mentality. No one is forcing or asking them to do this, but they need to. They need to in order to be deserving.

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felt like doodling harrier....... ive moved up her intro to chapter 3 so shes in my Brain

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characters with prey animal rage

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That. Right there. A pivotal moment for Rose (upon second viewing), re-contextualizing how she’s been treating those around her exactly like the other Diamonds treated her. She had fled from it, but she’d internalized her role. Loving but condescending and hurtful all the same. She had known no other way, until someone, Greg, finally treated her as an equal.

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talking about lust with people has kind of cemented for me that her and greed are two sides of the same coin when it comes to their relationship to humanity, because lust considers herself basically human but also her view of humans is that theyre short-sighted and cruel, so the only thing really separating her from them is her longer lifespan and her powers that let her Do Humanity even better than the humans

meanwhile greed DOESNT consider himself a human, his *body* is similar, but as an individual hes a completely separate thing. he admires humanity with all its faults and he does it as an outsider looking in. do you see my vision

speaking of greed and his painful lack of introspection. i feel like perhaps part of that is how much time he spends on trying to figure OTHER people out? like he definitely does have thoughts in there, its not just elevator music he thinks about the people around him a Lot. but he doesnt really consider himself a people around him. because well. hes a homunculus hes different. right

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speaking of greed and his painful lack of introspection. i feel like perhaps part of that is how much time he spends on trying to figure OTHER people out? like he definitely does have thoughts in there, its not just elevator music he thinks about the people around him a Lot. but he doesnt really consider himself a people around him. because well. hes a homunculus hes different. right

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Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

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i think my favourite version of doubling/mirroring is actually when one person is a possible future version of the other. and in turn that person is looking at the other and seeing their past self. the beginning and the end points of the same road.

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me calmly explaining to my brain (gripping my phone with barely concealed fury): in order . to Write a story. we must type words into the Document

my brain, stuck contemplating scar characterization on loop for the fifth time today: my touys

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🍦and🔪

first of all can i just say. sending these in so long after i reblogged that. youre my truest friend

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

i feel like i have to preface this by saying my hate for him As A Character on any GENUINE level is like...... maybe 70% due to his fanbase. on his own he just does not interest me very much for a variety of reasons, which transforms very easily into loathing due to having to look at him all the dang time. i dont like him as a person either but thats different

that being said: roy mustang has a lot of clever moments of characterization. he is by no means underdeveloped. he also serves as a vehicle for a lot of other characters to have clever moments of characterization, the main one that comes to mind is the part where ed tries to put him in debt so he doesnt kill himself which didnt really fully sink in as what was happening until like my 3rd rewatch because i was That disinterested in paying attention to roy mustang. but its an extremely good moment! and thirdly he has a cool as fuck mom

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

uhhhhh i dont know how to rank these by weirdness so im just going to list off some rabbit holes ive gone down. asian elephant social behavior. posthumous names for chinese emperors. mineshaft elevator and mancar operation. flowers that grow in pine forests. 20th century hotel menus. How does freezing to death work

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coming up with an au were a dead character lives but shaking my head while i do it so everyone watching knows i support the role their death played in the narrative and consider it a legitimate writing choice

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Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats  🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

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i keep opening my google doc and trying to write and remember how hard it is to use varied and interesting sentence lengths and cadences and closing it again. how to make word sound good

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me: characters who are unable to, bad at, or dislike fighting are important as well as the badasses, they should be allowed to be a strong character without having to fight

me when someone gives a non-fighter character a weapon: oh shit oh fuck oh hell yea let’s goooooo