castielusive - Tumblr blog

castielusive · 7 months ago

Text

sam decided to stay on campus for the holidays this year.

john, true to form, has officially been in the middle of one of his long disappearances for a few weeks now, and dean has been too worried about bothering anyone to hit them up about crashing their christmas plans (ellen would skin him if she knew that he was planning on eating a rotisserie chicken and some pie on the couch in front of the tv all night, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). cas, though, mentions that his brother michael who usually handles christmas dinner is down with pneumonia this year, and dean, totally not upset that he doesn’t get to cook for his brother and his dad this year, offers to fill in. cas catches on that he doesn’t have any other plans and insists that he doesn’t have to cook to be there–after all, it’s only him and his few siblings–but dean shrugs and says he wants to. cas’ place is ridiculous compared to the shoe box he shares with his family (when they’re there to share it with), and his siblings are all intimidating, to say the least, but after some initial awkwardness, they’re all pretty casual with each other.

once everyone’s settled in and dean is looking through the groceries cas bought, gabriel, ever the annoyance, misinterprets and complains that cas never mentioned a boyfriend he needed to get something for. dean drops the bag of cranberries he was about to boil and cas freezes solid, but dean saves face and plays the role, effortlessly wrapping his hand around cas’ and spouting off something about how forgetful the guy can be. it’s awkward to roast a turkey while your best friend stands over your shoulder the whole time, a little dazed, but it’s surprisingly easy to continue their silent agreement and act like an honest to god couple all night. anna and luc act unsurprised, like they assumed from the beginning, and michael calls halfway through the actual meal to chirp at castiel through the phone that he’d raised him, he’d fed and clothed him, and now he had to find out from luc that he’d finally found someone? his brother refuses to hang up until he has a promise from castiel to bring dean around someday soon.

cas, awkward as ever, can hardly stand to look in his best friend’s direction, let alone talk to anyone until anna takes pity on the whole table and asks him how he and dean met. it’s a simple story, dean stumbling into the er one night (the night sam shipped off for college, but dean’s 24 now, damn it, he’s an adult, has essentially been acting that way for a decade, and no one, especially not cas, needs to know that) with half of a tumbler in his hand while cas was working. dean pipes up that he’s a bartender, for christ’s sake, cas is making it sound like he had a problem or something, and he’s damn lucky that dean did set that glass down a little too hard or he wouldn’t have him around. cas’ sincere agreement is casual, but it hits dean off guard, and suddenly the atmosphere is a little stilted again.

it isn’t until cas’ family have all made their ways upstairs to cas’ guest bedrooms and dean’s changed into some sweats (they’d decided that he was spending the night so that he can help out with breakfast in the morning and then stick around for presents) that they talk again, just the two of them. cas wants to apologize for putting dean on the spot, wants to talk about everything that’s gone down tonight, but dean just pats him on the shoulder with a “don’t worry about it” before throwing himself on the guy’s couch.

cas has never seen die hard all the way through before, as it turns out. dean figures that’s unacceptable, so even though it isn’t quite as good with the volume turned most of the way down and the subtitles on, they settle in together and doze off somewhere before the end of the movie.

cas wakes up first. he must have, because dean is alone when he comes to, a blanket draped over his body and a warm spot next to him. cas is close, though. his voice is coming from the kitchen, hushed and urgent, and so is his sister’s.

‘you’re 28, cas’

‘he’s 24’

‘that’s not what i meant and you know it.’

cas sighs. ‘anna, i didn’t mean that i don’t care about him. far from it. but i’d really rather you not invest yourself in the idea that this is going to end up lasting.’

‘do you love him?’

cas is quiet.

‘cas. do you want it to be something long term?’

cas’ answer takes a while. ‘more than anything.’

dean can’t listen to any more of this. he’s already heard more than cas wants him to, so he stretches out and yawns, loudly, and the two siblings are quiet (cas pointedly casual) by the time he shuffles into the room. he keeps up the ruse that they’re in a relationship, and somehow it’s still easy despite the conversation he never stops going over in his head, because cas didn’t mean it, can’t have meant it, but it was still nice to hear, and the day is nice. really nice.

it turns out that gabriel does have something for dean, having made a quick trip to the store the night before somehow without anyone having the chance to miss him. dean tries to force him to take it back, but apparently it was more obvious than he’d thought that his coat was getting a little thin, and he can’t really find it in him to keep protesting once gabe threatens to pick up a hat and scarf to match if he doesn’t can it and let him “make a good impression with his brother’s man.” which he’s already gone out and done, as it turns out, but dean doesn’t find and open them until everyone’s pretty much done opening everything, and he’s a little too happy by that point to wrangle up any irritation. not to be outdone, anna and luc have him pick something out online and order it while cas and gabriel catch up. he is planning on returning the vinyl he chooses and giving the cash over to cas to slip back to them, but the whole process is fun and the three laugh at some of what he digs up. he likes cas’ family, he decides. he hasn’t officially met michael yet, but he’s optimistic that it’d go well as long as the guy really had as much hand in raising the rest of the novaks as everyone is leading him to believe.

it’s then that cas strikes. dean had broken their no present rule–of course he had, it was the least he could do with cas letting him crash his christmas. he didn’t regret it, either. cas had loved the old book he’d found him, ran his hands reverently down the cover and said a quiet ‘thank you’ that still had dean feeling warm inside.

what he does regret is not anticipating that the son of a bitch would do the same. cas calls him into the kitchen (and seriously, what do novaks have against staging heart to hearts somewhere other than in there?) under the pretense of showing him where something got put the night before. cas isn’t looking for anything when he gets in there, though, and the only thing he can see out of the ordinary is an envelope sitting on the counter.

what the hell?

‘open it,’ cas prods, gently. dean does.

it’s definitely not a christmas card. dean doesn’t really register much besides the fact that it’s already been opened and words like accepted and pleased to inform you until he notices the name at the bottom.

‘cas. what is this?’

‘what does it look like?’

‘no, man, i mean… fuck, i never even…’

‘i applied for you. i know it was presumptuous, but you wouldn’t… you mentioned how much it would mean, and i know it’s late, but–’

dean interrupts him with a shake of his head. it’s an acceptance letter. an acceptance letter to culinary school with his name on it, and it’s too much. it’s too much for him to handle that cas paid that much attention, that he cared enough to do it in the first place, but even if he could breath right now, he just doesn’t have the money to afford it. he tells him as much, and it comes out soft and choked, but he gets the words out. cas just smiles.

‘there’s more in the envelope.’

this time, dean doesn’t have to read it over to know what it is he’s holding.

‘i can afford it, dean. you don’t need to look shocked.’

shocked isn’t the word for what he’s feeling right now, though.

‘are you fucking kidding me right now, cas?’

‘i–’

‘you what? thought you needed to shell out for something like this for me? i have a job, man.’

‘one you hate.’

dean scoffs. ‘so, what, you’re doing me a favor? you really meant all that this morning, huh? figured you had to buy me just so that we could have something “long term.”’

cas goes pale and dean shuts up.

‘you heard that.’

‘yeah, i fucking heard it.’ never really believed it, not even now, but if he had to deal with how much cas’ lie hurt, then so did he.

‘i’m sorry. you weren’t meant to.’

‘yeah, cas, no shit.’

‘i mean that i’m sorry to have put you in this position. really, i am. i never meant to make you uncomfortable, but this has nothing to do with how i feel, it’s a present to a friend. there isn’t any expectation here, i just… you deserve it.’

they’re both quiet for a long time.

‘you meant that?’

‘of course i did, you’ve wanted to go for ye-’

‘no, this morning. you weren’t putting on a show for anna.’

‘what?’ cas looks confused.

‘come on, man, don’t tell me i should have read it any differently. you’re a fucking doctor, you live in practical god damn jet hanger, and i don’t mind pretending so everyone thinks you have someone pretty hanging off your arm, but i never figured–’

cas shuts him up by fisting his hands in his shirt and pulling him forward. it wouldn’t be that great, as far as kisses go–cas’ teeth are digging into his lip and his mouth is dry with surprise–but then everything loosens up and cas is sliding his tongue against his lips. he opens up without a second thought, and then cas’ hands slip out of his shirt and down to his hips, dean’s go up to wrap around his shoulders, and it’s warm and easy and hot. cas pulls away before it can go any further than mild tongue action, though (not that it doesn’t still make it into dean’s top ten, easy) and then cas’ thumb is tracing over his cheekbone like they’re in a lifetime movie.

‘i’ve been dreaming about waking up next to you since you came over and asked me to help you change your bandages, two weeks after we’d met. you’ve always meant something to me, dean.’

dean can’t look him in the eye after that, but he doesn’t pull away, either, so cas leans in for another kiss (or four) until dean’s ready to respond.

‘next year just get us a fucking dog or something, alright?’

96 notes · View notes