carliemaeee

[carliemaeee]

what if they like feet

don't apologise for liking thing

[carliemaeee]

Im single and incapable of mingle 

[carliemaeee]

love yourself or become fish food

[carliemaeee]

Hello Fish, have you ever shown the front of you?

no but

[carliemaeee]

me: *plays something comepletely wrong*

me: oh no

me: *puts more rosin on my bow*

me: that should solve it

[carliemaeee]

i just daydreamed a scenario where instead of roaring dinosaurs tweeted like birds but the big ones have really low tweets and i just imagined a t-rex running through the wall of my house and shouting in an ominous deep deep raspy voice “Ŧ₩EEŦ Ŧ₩EEŦ BłŦ₡ҤE$” so i started laughing hysterically and accidentally inhaled a noodle

[carliemaeee]

The year is 2022. You and your gang shoot down Amazon delivery drones and sell their contents for a living.

[carliemaeee]

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

[carliemaeee]

mom: i need some gas

me: go to hell then

mom: excuse me??

Image Prompt

[carliemaeee]

A drink or two

[carliemaeee]

Someone has been putting a single carrot on my teachers desk every day for like a month now, so she hung a corkboard with a bunch of students faces on it with possible motives and alibis.

[carliemaeee]

A drink or two

[carliemaeee]

+

[carliemaeee]

Alec to the group: okay listen up you little shits

Group:

Alec: except for you Magnus. You’re precious and must be protected

[carliemaeee]

So I’ve heard a lot of people complain about motorcycles but I’ve never really cared much. Like yeah, it’s an inconvenience but find another parking spot.

But I was with my mom at Meijers one time, and there was this parking spot really close to the door.

And naturally we were really excited because WOOHOO NOT MUCH WALKING FOR US HAHA SUCKERS!!

And we were about to pull into it and I saw

That

Stupid

Motorcycle.

and I have never felt such hatred.

[carliemaeee]

having responsibilities makes sleep so much better

[carliemaeee]

malec moments (27/∞)

“I’ve even gotten used to your adorable little snores.” “Hey! I don’t snore.”

#saveshadowhunters