cara-mrrsn

[cara-mrrsn]

no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara shrugged up her shoulders, a slight roll of her eyes accompanying the motion. Something about the idea of it was appealing to her - not the living in the car aspect, she would surely only drive between 5 star hotels - but the...driving off into the sunset aspect, she supposed. She didn't bother explaining that to Heni, though. Or rather, didn't have a chance to, quickly pulled along to the apparent actual question. A scoff, a raise of her eyebrows, Cara shaking her head. "Sure," she said, sarcasm layered into the word, as clear of a non-answer as Cara could give. "Why are you asking me this, Henrietta?"

There it was – the first hurdle. Present and in the way for Heni to trip over, as usual. So Cara couldn't drive. That really did throw a spanner in the works, didn't it? Heni kicks at another small pebble in pent-up frustration, watching it bounce across the sandy dunes for a moment before grinding to a halt next to a similar rock. And it it this, the two pebbles in close proximity, that makes her think maybe all was not lost yet. Either that, or the sore loser in her refused to believe she'd wasted a line of inquiry on someone who knew nothing.

"What?" There's genuine horror in her voice. "Live in my car, visit unimportant landmarks, wear the same outfit several days in a row? Does that sound like something I'd suggest for fun?" At most, Heni believed she could last one night. Even the winter trips had been a stretch, and neither of those had been remotely off-grid. She composes herself, eyes meeting Cara's once more. "But she would drive you places, no? Did she ...." A beat. "Ever, I don't know, hit anyone?"

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara exhaled a snort of air from her nose, eyebrows flicking up at Monty's response. That was exactly what she meant. It felt...so frivolous, the way he put it. So stupid. Was that really what all of this was about. She thought for a few moments, before she shook her head. "No," she said simply, sucking on her teeth after she shut down his first suggestion. "Milo was...loyal to her. Trust me." She was a good person to ask, after all. He had chosen Greer over her enough times - he wasn't looking to overthrow her. She would've known.

Perhaps she was the right person to figure this out. Because anyone looking to take down Greer, to replace her...would've been on Cara's side, wouldn't they have? Her lips pursed as the realization came to her, eyes flickering back and forth as more thoughts than she usually had at once crossed through her mind, leaving her utterly unable to put them together.

A few blinks brought Cara back to the moment, shaking her head like an etch-a-sketch as she tuned back into what Monty was saying, his focus elsewhere as he was speaking - meaning he likely hadn't noticed her little foray into her own mind, his own thoughts having put something together far faster than she would've gotten there. She made a humming sound, eyes narrowing. "You know..." she murmured, turning to look at him, lips parted with the realization. "You're right." Cara let out a short laugh, nodding her head slowly. Parker had always played both sides, Cara seeing straight through it. "Do you really think..." she paused, jaw clenching, a flash of irritation crossing her face. "It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?"

Monty's head tipped back against the cushions as he slouched low in his seat, eyes glued to Cara's pouty expression while she ruminated on what to say, seemingly picking and choosing her words more carefully than ever. Maybe it should've made him nervous. Maybe he should've been on edge already. It was hard to be, though, when somehow he'd mostly always felt like he was on even footing with Cara. She was someone that he trusted and, in turn, she trusted him enough to begin a frank discussion about her missing sister. "Someone who wanted to usurp her as queen bee, you mean?" His brows arched in return, the curve of his smile practically teasing as he took a beat to think on it. Eventually, Monty gave into an unhelpful shrug. "Milo could've gotten sick of playing tennis with her." He snorted, demonstrating just how stupid he found sports rivalries, but there could've genuinely been something there, especially considering the potential sponsorships that hung in the balance.

"I haven't heard anything legit alarming." His gaze slid away from Cara, staring at the ground and chewing at his lower lip. Most people had clammed up pretty tight once the police began traipsing all over campus -- except for Monty. Just this time last year, with Parker, he'd been telling her that he was glad Greer was gone. Suddenly, his brain was lighting up, every synapses firing, and he didn't know what he was doing, but he was already saying it, suggesting to Cara, "But that's not say nobody's benefited from her absence." He blinked back to her, pausing for a moment, fingers drumming on the arm of the sofa. "Parker finally scored Homecoming queen this year. And she scored with Jesse" - another dull snort on his part - "who, y'know, before was just telling me all kinds of bullshit about fucking around with Greer and running away together the last time she came up, so…" He shrugged, not at all subtle in his implication.

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara's chin lifted up ever so slightly, her tongue darting out to run over her lower lip as she watched Link. Her eyes were fixed on him, not so much as blinking as he lowered himself to their knees in front of her. She didn't believe him - not for a moment. He could sweet talk all he want. She'd never trust him again, enough lies having come out of her lips for an entire lifetime in their brief relationship. It was part of what had drawn her to him, honestly - his complete inability to be trusted and yet charm someone into doing it regardless. It just wasn't supposed to be her that was charmed.

And though she had no intention of forgiving him...that didn't mean she couldn't play.

Reaching out, Cara ran her index finger along Link's jawline, eyes staying on his the entire time before she spoke, one word all she needed. "Beg."

"touché." he scoffs, crossing his arms over each other as he tilts his head, keeping his eyes trained on her. "it was certainly one of the things i liked about you. i do like about you." he corrects himself. with their personality, link was so used to having people wishing they were dead, or being mad at them — and he could not care less. with cara, however, they've been fighting for her forgiveness for quite some time now. she had a certain power over them, one that greer could never seem to have over link like she did with the almost the rest of the student body. "cara..." link brings themself to their knees in front of where cara was sitting, the room becoming too cramped for their liking. they look up at her with the same eyes that they have always looked at her with, since they met. "tell me what i can do to get you to forgive me."

[cara-mrrsn]

"Especially not with me," Cara responded, a dry laugh leaving her lips, no actual amusement in her words any longer, not with the subject at hand. It was too true, too bitter, too...personal for Cara to be able to laugh genuinely at it. Maybe if Greer was here, maybe if they had been able to grow up and get over their childhood of butting heads and tumultuous relationship with their parents. But they'd never be allowed to get to that point now.

With a sigh, her eyes drifted closed for a moment, regret and anger and resentment nearly physical in the force it felt like she was being punched with before she opened them back up to look at Heni - at least as much as she could in the dark, brushing past that moment and letting an insolent smirk lift one side of her lips. "God, I think she wanted to kill me when she found out about Link and I. I can only imagine her reaction if she thought we had hooked up." Cara paused, a snort of laughter following for a moment. "Then again, I'm still pretty sure her and Link had some weird sexual tension, so maybe not. Unless I seriously misunderstood your guys relationship."

It's a blessing, in a sense, to be in this closet. The lack of light means she cannot actually see Cara, can't see the features that had passed from older sister to younger sister. It was in the details, she thought - the glint of her eye, the curve where her lips met. It was diffuse, and intangible, and inescapable. When she looked at Cara, she saw Greer. And it fucking hurt. Gripped her and squeezed, leaving her momentarily short of breath whenever the thought hit her. Cara, through no fault of her own, was a reminder. Of what had been, and what likely would never be again.

Heni laughs, imagining Greer for a moment. Wonders what she would have said. Imagines the way her brows would knit together upon being told. "She was never good at sharing, was she?"

[cara-mrrsn]

A pause, Cara's lips parting ever so slightly as she gave Beck a look of confusion. "If you say so," she drawled, the words flat. She couldn't exactly relate - she'd charge her parents credit card over and over as payback for their horrific job of being, well...her parents. The least they could do is indulge her every financial whim. "I don't see the correlation between not needing them and draining them dry, if I'm being honest."

this was a delicate needle to thread; it was entirely possible the loss of the hoffman credit card might cause her to lose face with cara. however, it was also entirely possible that cara would be impressed by her middle finger to her parents. "i just think it's good to make some money on my own. you know, so my fucking parents can't tell me what to do with it." true, if not entirely comprehensive. "show them i don't need them for anything."

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara's eyebrows dipped inwards, a deep furrow appearing as she took in Parker's response, it taking a few moments to even figure out what she was saying, so far off the mark it was. A soft sigh followed as her expression smoothed out, shaking her head. "That's not what I meant," she said, a bone weary exhaustion settling over her. People missing her had not been the worse she meant. If anything, in Cara's mind...that was a pro. But she didn't bother explaining, unsure if she even could as she shrugged up her shoulders. "No," she said, ever the defeatist. "I think they'll stop when they make their point."

frankly, parker didn't expect cara to give any more details than that—than dropping out, maybe. everyone, it seemed, was more inclined to be sparse on the details of... anything, for the last long while. so, when she spoke again, parker's eyes cut towards hers with proper interest.

the space that followed the first few words allowed her mind to populate with potential answers. abandoning everyone, giving up on greer. but, as she should've expected, the explanation wasn't quite so damning or crystalline. "i mean, sure. i'm sure everyone would be sad at the idea of you leaving, but you have to put yourself first at some point." she sighed. "honestly, i'd really consider it for next year, if g is still poking around." the thought gave parker pause. "do you think they'll stop—like, after when greer would've graduated?"

[cara-mrrsn]

"No you didn't," Cara said, a light reprimand in her tone, the upward curl of her lips taunting Diego - they both knew that was a lie, and she, for one, was not about to indulge it. Especially not when he was using it as an excuse to dodge her question. Besides, New Hampshire didn't exactly live up to Paris on the best of days, and the past year and a half at Ogden had been anything but the best of days. "You could say that," she said, tapping her fingers against the table a few times, eyes flickering downwards as she swallowed, holding back the real answer to that question. It was the same as it always was, and yet somehow infinitely worse. Her sister was dead. And they were all being blackmailed over it, with increasing severity.

Cara didn't bother lifting her gaze back up to Diego's as she shrugged, still looking downwards, tongue pressing against her teeth for a moment before she gathered an answer. "Just peachy," she drawled, sarcasm heavy in her voice. "Couldn't be better, really." She finally looked back up, meeting his eyes as she blinked once, expression anything but matching her words.

"Of course," Diego said, tilting his paper cup towards Cara, "I missed this whole place." Okay that part was very much a lie, and it was meant to be an obvious one. Even when things were better Ogden didn't really hold up to Paris, in his very humble opinion. "I'm glad to be back and be around the people I care about. For now…" Before all the G bullshit started up for him again, because he did not believe that was over. But he was happy that left him alone while studying abroad. Very thoughtful of them. "Things here have been the same as they were last year, I'm assuming," He said. Maybe even worse, especially for Greer's family. And probably even more complicated given what Cara's relationship with her sister had been. "How are you holding up?" He didn't expect a straight answer, but he thought it was worth it to ask.

[cara-mrrsn]

END.

every time link and cara get into it after their breakup, link swears that it would be the last time he tries to get through to her again — but he knows that there will be another time when link tries again, and he's going to get shot down again. maybe until they're graduated and out of each other's lives forever, and she makes sure he doesn't see her again. "fine." he gives up for now, clenching his teeth, as though he had every right to be angry that she wasn't accepting his apology. "just know that you can't punish me forever, cara. i'm not done trying." and he didn't know why he was so stubborn with her specifically — maybe he was just angry that it ended on terms beyond his control, or maybe there was just something about her. either way, he walks past her into the crowd again before it could get any uglier on either end.

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara's gaze stayed steady, watching Nat for another couple breaths before she offered a small smile. "I'm sure you are," she murmured. Wrong, that was. She didn't elaborate, not wanting to invite further discussion of this, before she shrugged up her shoulders, brushing past Nat, leaving that conversation behind her.

END.

Immediately, Nat was annoyed. Nothing she could do seemed to be able to ruffle Cara. Not the way she managed to ruffle Nat. She'd thought maybe she'd get something out of it: an eye twitch, a stance change, anything. But unflappable Cara only fixed her with annoyance, like Nat was nothing but a nuisance invading her space. She just shrugged, though. "It sounded like they were insinuating something, but maybe I'm wrong. Just thought you'd want to know people were discussing you like that."

[cara-mrrsn]

@morrisxn02

"And Cain says, “When you split me and my brother in the womb, you did not divide us evenly. He got kindness, and I got longing. He got complacence, and I got ambition. I want to kill him sometimes. I think sometimes he wants to die.”

- Nathaniel Orion, "Hevel"

[cara-mrrsn]

"Sure," Cara replied, a hint of amusement in her tone as her arms crossed in front of her chest. She had been walking beside Henrietta in silence, waiting for her sister's best friend to get to the point, not that Cara was entirely sure what it was. Half of her thought it was an attempt to continue their game of seven minutes of heaven (but maybe that was wishful thinking), and half of her knew it would never be something so fun. Not on this campus, not with these people. The question had her sighing, shoulders slumping slightly as she shook her head. "God, no. I don't even know how to drive," Cara answered, letting out a short laugh. She had never really understood why bother, considering they had grown up in Manhattan, and she, for one, planned on moving back after college. Where else was there? Paris, maybe. London. But definitely no where that was uncivilized enough she'd have to drive herself. "I don't suppose you're asking because you hoped to go on a road trip or some shit like that?"

with: @cara-mrrsn where: the beach, an afternoon in the weeks' following valentine's

Someone was hit by Greer's car. When she'd initially laid eyes on it, mind thick with the haze of champagne, it had seemed so simple. It couldn't possibly be difficult to make sense of who Greer had hit with her car. But, as sobriety wiped the mist from her mental cogwheels, it suddenly seemed less clear-cut. And so it had been back to the drawing board, deconstructing the wording, going over it again and again and again, until she could recite it back to front. Still, the solution does not seem to come to her. But perhaps she's been looking at this wrong. Perhaps it's not about who Greer hit. Maybe the clue was in who was in the car. With or without Greer.

And suddenly, the list of suspects thins out. "Thanks for coming out," Heni says, butting a rock along with the toe of her shoe as they walk, snow-covered sand crunching underfoot.

"This is going to sound weird, right, but did Greer ever lend you her car?"

[cara-mrrsn]

"No you're not," Cara said in response to Monty, taking another drag from her cigarette before stretching over towards ash tray (read: a repurposed plate) on the arm of the couch and stubbing it out. At least an improvement over her letting it fall into the floor. She let out a sigh, a crooked grin offered in Monty's direction as he slumped into a seat, instantly matching her energy. Now that was why she had decided to tell him to come over anyone else. Not that he happened to see her breakdown a few weeks ago. "Oh, you know. This and that," she said, rolling her eyes. Dead sister, blackmail, the usual things. She could ease into this, but she figured any preemption to the conversation would require reminding Monty of that conversation, of her tears, and Cara was not about to bring that up. Instead, as if she was asking him something as casual as the forecast, she glanced towards Monty, arching up an eyebrow. "Do you know anyone or, like, hear about anyone who, like..." Cara paused, her lower lip jutting out as she considered her words. She hated to use G's words for this entire thing, not wanting to give in to actually talking about the valentine directly, though she knew she had to try and get some sort of answer. She had a few ideas, but...people hadn't ever exactly been honest with her about Greer, especially when it required them not being a total sycophant. Except for Monty. He had always been on the same page with her - so maybe, just maybe, people had had more honest conversations with him. "Didn't like Greer? Like...not in a normal way. In, like...a wanting to take her down way?"

"Hey," Monty called in return, only making it a few steps into the room before he stopped short, making a show out of tilting his head as far as humanly possible, just so he could meet Cara's upside down gaze and grin back at her. "I always come when I'm told to," he said, plucking the innuendo out of thin air while continuing onward into the space, clucking his tongue lightly, "I'm a very obedient boy."

But Cara didn't invite him over to hear sex jokes. Everyone was spiraling, that much was evident. Since that Tri Delt mixer for Valentine's day, Monty hadn't ever been held hostage by so many difficult conversations in such a short timespan. His only hope was that whatever twisted thing G had lovingly penned for Cara's valentine didn't leave him with a hangover of guilt once he exited her dorm. "Wassup?" he asked, dropping into the nearest empty seat and almost immediately going boneless, taking Cara's posture as a sign that they may be there for a while.

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara half expected Edward to call the cops on her as soon as she broke the window. It would be in his character - another moment of her acting out and him running to tattle on her with his tail between her legs. She was used to it. There was a reason why she no longer trusted her twin, no longer let him see what she was capable of. Cara reacted, Cara lashed out - and Edward turned heel, ashamed of her.

And yet...he popped his bottle too, Cara's head whipping in his direction as a smile spread across her face, a near feral delight in her expression as he smiled in response. Well. Almost smiled. It was close enough.

Before she could make the next move, letting them into the house, Edward - her straight-laced, goody-two-shoes, rule abiding twin - kicked the window in, clearing out the glass so they could get in. Get into their own home, one that Cara longed to make look a little less perfect. She wanted it to match her own mental state, yes, but also the state of their family. It wasn't pretty.

And it hadn't been for a long time.

Since long before Greer vanished.

"I knew you had it in you somewhere," Cara cooed, reaching up to pat Eddie's cheek before she handed her bottle of champagne off, delicately stretching herself in through the window. Some of the broken glass bit into the skin of her arm, a small yelp in reaction before she batted it away (which absolutely made the scratch worse), Cara stumbling the rest of the way into the house, arms swinging out to balance herself. Okay, it could've been more graceful. But she was in, unharmed - small droplets of blood on the floor not withstanding - picking her way over the glass shards as she turned back to Eddie to take their bottles. "Where should we start?" she asked as he followed her in, casually sipping from her bottle, nothing small about the amount she was downing.

The keys were probably somewhere in his car. Always kept a spare set in the glove compartment for an emergency. But just as he was about to announce that he could get them in, a pop. Sharp sound of a cork exploding, drawing a parable on the air as it rocketed to break through a second-story window.

Worried, he turned to look at her – his eyes widened as he realized they would be screwed when their parents found out. But she didn’t share in his preoccupation. The expression on her face was of someone who does something deliberately. Proud of her accomplishment.

A signature Cara tantrum, it dawned on him. Same glint in her eyes she would get as a child, finally obtaining what she had asked for after a spectacular fit – a richness of yells and cries and curses that surprised even himself.

He should turn around. His mind started flaring off all kinds of alarms telling him to go back to the party and leave Cara there. Let her face the consequences of her recklessness alone. But his stomach burned, a sensation that he had only felt the day his dad pushed him in front of Heni – made him stumble and fall like an idiot. Embarrass himself. The sound of his footsteps dissipating in the distance after yelling at him to mind his business. The feeling of being reduced to a child.

Thinking about that moment over and over, nurturing this feeling. Along with impotence and betrayal and all the thoughts of what people were probably saying behind their back. Everything their fault. His fault.

Pop. The sound of his own cork flying and cracking the ground-floor bay window. He looked at her again – his head a mix of worry, indignation, and pleasure at having broken something that belonged to his parents; a representation of them in his subconscious – but a light glow on his face. Almost – not quite – but almost a smile. Was that how Cara felt after she threw a tantrum? When she yelled at their mother? Was that why she kept doing it to the day? This feeling of pride that came over you for breaking a rule. Disobedience. Or maybe it was because Rufus simply deserved it? Deserved all the hell they could give him and more. Guttural need to make him suffer, like he had made Edward.

His foot broke more of the glass. Shards cracking like a xylophone as they hit the hardwood inside, creating enough space so they can go through. Great flexibility, he thought to himself. Those mobility exercises before leg workouts were really doing wonders.  “Ladies first.”

[cara-mrrsn]

Cara's eyebrows slowly arched up on her forehead, blinking slowly. "Okay?" she said, her lips pursing out ever so slightly, expression returning to what seemed to be its petulant default. "She was my older sister. I think it would be weirder if she hadn't ever done a favor for me, no?" she pointed out, a hint of impatience coming into her tone.

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Nat wished she could take them back. What did she expect? That if Cara was somehow involved in her sister's disappearance that she would show her these texts and Cara would confess all of her sins and beg for forgiveness? Absolutely not. If anything, she'd double down, feel cornered, and take it out on Nat.

Her frozen silence lasted just a moment too long before Nat scrambled for some kind of lie that made any sort of sense. "They're probably gone by now," said Nat. "In the bathroom, I heard some girls... talking about Greer. And you. Something about favors? I don't really know, I left before they could catch me eavesdropping."

[cara-mrrsn]

Without a single flicker of a flinch, Cara let Rhiannon get closer to her, the anger as she attempted to intimidate her actually amusing. Her chin just tilted up slightly, an eyebrow quirking in an invitation - bringing on whatever Rhiannon was about to let out. "God," Cara said, rolling her eyes, a snort of laughter leaving her lips. "That's rich, coming from you. You pathetic, desperate, hanger on. You think Greer actually liked you? Actually thought you would ever fit in? You wear your desperation like a perfume, Rhiannon. She let you follow her around because she felt bad for you. And you have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to the relationship I had with her. How would you? It's not like you ever viewed either of us as people. She was just someone for you to emulate."

In a way, that was the issue with it all - her and Greer were the same when - if - someone peeled back their layers, the same negatives and horrible sides to them, the same ways of acting out and acting up. Yet, for some reason, Greer was projected into this golden girl, even by their parents. And Cara, meanwhile, was the opposite - the black sheep, the ???, the unfavorite. She had never grasped why that was, and sure, in a way, she had hated Greer for it. But she certainly hadn't wanted to live Greer's life. She wanted to live her own - just without the negative views everyone else had of her. She had wanted to be perceived the same way Greer was. Not become her. 

Cara couldn't help but laugh again as Rhia flipped her off, lifting her drink in a cheers as she stepped back, a smile curling over her full lips. "Thanks," she crooned. "I absolutely will." As far as she was concerned, she got what she needed. Rhia's reaction was clearly one of guilt - after all, acting out to hide the truth? It was practically Cara's signature move.

Involuntarily, Rhia’s left eye twitched at the mention of Greer’s name… Their line of conversation. Rhia’s accusation of Cara’s priorities… What exactly was she trying to say? A darkness covered her usually delicate features, a maddening fury barely contained by the rigid lines of her face. “What?” she nearly growled in return. In an instant, she was in front of Cara, hovering over her and bent over just slightly so only she could hear her words. “Your sister is fucking dead, Cara. Dead,” she spoke the words as if it were Cara’s hands that had done it. “This wounded sister act is a joke… You’d consume her corpse if it meant you could live her life, wouldn’t you?” She had practically told her as much before, during their numerous fights where Cara accused Rhia of prioritizing Greer over her.

For a second, she wondered how life might have been different if it was this Morrison sister that was taken from them instead of Greer. “You make me fucking sick,” she seethed, pulling back only to see Cara’s reaction. She wanted to gloat in her horrified expression, relish in the hurt and subsequent anger she caused. She took another step back, before lifting up her middle finger in a declaration toward Cara. “But you have fun getting shitfaced! Hope it can heal whatever it is that’s broken inside of you,” she said cheerfully. In her deluded state of mind, there was something mildly entertaining about the other’s tantrums… Maybe Cara didn’t deserve any of this. In fact, Rhia was at worst indifferent toward her obvious flaws prior to this short conversation. But she stayed in her way even after Rhia warned her. There was no one to blame but herself.

[cara-mrrsn]

END.

"But that's so boring," they say immediately, the whine in her tone lamenting the Ogden populace's lack of desire to stir the pot. Though, in Cara's case, maybe she could understand it, considering the goings-on as of late. "I did look at my parent's phones, once," she admits, though clarification that it was once was entirely untrue. It had been more than one could confidently quantify. "And it was just 'bla bla bla meeting' this, 'divorce settlement' that. But, if you ever actually do want to have a peak at yours', come find me."