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10/02: Sirius Black

feeling much less inspired today so just a colored sketch

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Lily, Harry and James!

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SIRIUS BLACK they could never make me hate you.

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Sirius Black inspired by this photo

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unfortunately if there was a marauders modern au set in university james and sirius would absolutely be engineering majors. it’s perfect for them actually. the course material is hard but they’ve both got a wicked combination of smarts and dedication. it’s the perfect major for them to flex their creativity by building something real. they’re the two guys in the back of the class who never look like they’re paying attention to the lecture but they ace the labs with flying colours. they’re each other’s first picks for lab partners or group projects and are always trying to one up the other. they push each other to see who can get the higher exam score, or make the more complicated project but they hang on to each other to suffer through those multi day study sessions. sirius is running off of a robust caffeine addiction and james is running off of pure adrenaline but the two of them always manage to make the coolest projects in their department. (better yet one of them is electrical and the other is computer engineering—never one without the other or something like that)

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you know, what gets me about OoTP is that sirius decided to do the whole ‘don’t you have questions harry. shame.’ routine in PUBLIC. in front of everyone. he could’ve very, very easily done it in private, just taken harry aside for a minute and info-dumped but he didn’t.

and that’s honestly such an important part, i think.

like, for one, he sincerely thinks harry should be getting this information at the same time as everyone else, in the same method. it’s not something that’s meant to be hidden and whispered. he is essentially establishing that harry has a right to this knowledge. that’s something no else has done. even when dumbledore tells harry something, he doesn’t do it because harry should know, he does it bc harry needs to know, at that time.

i also think, another part is bc sirius realises that the kids are involved in this together. he saw the golden trio dynamics upfront in the shack, he knows these kids have his kid’s back and they will either find out from harry and/or they’re in as much danger (virtue of identity, proximity, and curiosity) and therefore must know as well. he can’t force the weasley parents to tell their kids, but he can put them in a position where they might just have to. (low level rebellion incitement lessgooo)

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"Do you like dancing?" Sirius asked, his voice uncharacteristically timid, as if the pounding of his heart might drown out the music.

Remus didn’t miss a beat. "No," he replied flatly.

"Oh." Sirius nodded, forcing a smile, though disappointment flickered in his eyes. "Okay."

But then Remus leaned closer, his eyes hazy with alcohol, gaze fixed on Sirius with an intensity that sent a shiver down his spine. "Ask me anyway," he said softly.

Sirius hesitated, searching Remus’s face for a sign. Then, with a deep breath, he let the words tumble out. "Will you dance with me?"

Remus’s lips quirked in a way that made Sirius’s pulse race even more. "Yes."

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Wolfstar hits harder if Remus isn't conventionally attractive.

Because while Sirius is still deep in denial and internalized homophobia, he's convincing himself like "it's okay, i'm not gay, anyone would want to kiss Remus once in a while, he's just objectively hot"

Except Remus is awkward and quiet when not around friends, he's too tall like he grew up too fast and doesn't know what to do with this extra height, his scars scare people away, he wears grandpa sweaters, drinks tea in his free time and goes to sleep at 9 pm, he can't flirt for the life of him (even though he could bc he's witty and sarcastic) because he has no self-confidence and it shows.

He's basically a loser (affectionate) and Sirius is like "it's okay, no need to panic, he's the sexiest man on earth but that's just an astute observation, no gay thoughts here"

and i just think that's funny as hell

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4th year I think for exactly 1 year Sirius was the tallest amongst them.

do not repost my art.

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I can not hold this any longer. I can not ignore the fact that Walburga Black consumes my mind day and night. That I spiral in bed thinking just how horribly inhumanely human she is.

She was raised a lamb, born to wear wolf's fur. She wasn't an heir, she wasn't a man. She was a childbearer, she was the womb. She was raised to act superior but submit to her husband. To obey the family's males. At 16 her father married her off to Orion. Orion who was 9 years older than her. Her own cousin that she loved like a brother- all to keep the family's purity. She had the duty to bring heirs, especially after Alphard ran off with God knows who and Cygnus failed to bring sons. Her duty was to bring heirs to the most ancient and noble house of black, not to be a mother.

I like to think that her brother asked her to go with him, but she couldn't. She was trapped in that house with that now faceless man she called her husband, all by her own mind. She loved Orion, to some extent. He was her pillar, they say when you're not given love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives- and Orion was a damn sharp knife.

She adores Sirius, still. She's allowed to love a son she resented. He was her duty fulfilled, and he was hers. Her son. Her fucking son. She raised him like her mother raised her brothers. To be perfect. To carry the legacy. To embrace purity. To stay untainted. She taught him lessons. Orion was there too. She guided Sirius, Orion gripped his arm and pulled him along.

Then Andromeda betrayed her blood. Walburga was furious. How could she?! Betray them? Nobility of all things. How could her cousin and Druella fail so badly?! She remembers that her niece was perfect. Her heart aches with anger and betrayal when she burns Andromeda off the family tapestry. She failed them and she'll pay.

By that time she was also focusing on her second son. Regulus was her everything. He was perfect. The complete opposite of his brother who seemed keen on rebellion. Her sons were horrible mirrors she loved.

Orion got harsher. Sirius was misbehaving. And her husband hurt him. She got hurt too. Her heart was seizing. She always knelt beside Sirius when Orion punished him. 'To keep him down' she told he husband. She wished to hold him after. She never could. That was weakness. And Sirius never learned? God that boy never learned no matter how much his father taught him and she guided him over and over and over again- she snaps. She starts hurting Sirius too. Her once only joy, now was only a source of pain. Every scream that tore through his throat hardened her. She had to fix him, had to make this right before things got out of hand. She had to steer Sirius right, to make sure he doesn't do what Andromeda did, to make sure he didn't cause himself more pain, more suffering, or Orion will- Sirius ran away before she could straighten the lines.

She weeped for the first time since her wedding day. She only allowed herself to cry after watching from the second floor window as Sirius climbed over the gates. The same gated Alphard climbed over years ago. Just like his uncle. That kid was just like his uncle. Somewhere in her cold heart she felt satisfaction. Sirius was everything she couldn't be, everything she wasn't brave enough to be. Even Orion watched his wife sob into the edge of the bed. He didn't comfort her. She was being weak. And he didn't hunt Sirius, Sirius was a failure.

Only after she's done he approaches. "You'll burn him off the tapestry. Set an example for Regulus". And God she hoped Regulus didn't end up like Sirius. So she got harder. Orion lost interest in heirs after. She made sure Regulus was perfect. She raised him a lamb forced to wear a wolf's fur. And God did it hurt. Weeks later she hears from Regulus that the Potter's adopted Sirius. Her son. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 son. Her flesh and blood. The only thing she could call her own chose to leave her and be someone else's. No longer hers. And he chose that. She failed like her mother. She resented Sirius, she called him a disgrace, she burned him off the tree, she called him a traitor, a failure, a mistake, a fault. But God knows she still loves him after everything.

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Very interesting to me that Ron and Ginny feel comfortable saying the word in outrage, whereas James straight up cannot bring himself to say it. Thinking thoughts. Not fully formed yet.

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an essential part of writing marauders fics is the google search entitled "synonym for serious"

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When PoA film-Remus tells Harry his mother was there for him at a time no one else was, what do you think that was? (If it's in the books, I've forgotten. Currently on a re-read and will find out eventually)

Hello @loonyloopylupin96 💜

I don't think this is in the book but I have always loved that moment in the film. The beautiful, tender score and the performances are so moving, particularly David Thewlis' whose Remus is everything.

I have always interpreted that as Remus thinking about all the ways in which Lily was there for him during the course of their friendship. My headcanon is that Remus and Lily were always close and had a natural affinity for one another. In fact, my headcanon is that for a long time that Remus was the only Maurader that she liked. I also headcanon that she shares things with Remus that she wouldn't share with others, even James, particularly in regard to the complexity of her feelings about Snape.

I even go as far as to imagine that had many things been different, Lily could have easily have fallen for Remus in the right circumstances....and perhaps sometimes wondered what might have been...although she never says anything about this to anyone...but I'm getting side-tracked...

I headcanon that outside of the Marauders and certain teachers that Lily is the first person that learns about Remus' lycanthropy outside of this tight-knit group at Hogwarts. Remus carries so much shame and self-loathing about this, and Lily's reaction was thoughtful, considerate and compassionate. And he never forgets this.

As the First War progresses, and speculation and tension rise as to who the potential spy in the Order is, Lily vocally defends Remus against Sirius' accusations. James finds this time really difficult, and feels less able to intervene with his loyalty between his friends tested and a natural tendency to side with Sirius on things. This is something that Remus also never forgets.

Thank you for asking. It was lovely to re-visit that scene again 💜

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marauders hc of the day:  Peter faked a prophecy predicting a plague of locusts unless their astronomy test was canceled and then the marauders set loose a plague of locusts when it wasn’t

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To all of the fathers who helped their partners to get the deserved and well needed rest❤

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alone late at night

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sense of belonging

and the summer rain at night