calamusgerent-blog

[calamusgerent-blog]

not to sound like jane austen or anything but if ur fic is labelled slow burn those two fucks better not even touch pinkies until like chapter 57 by the time they are even in a room alone together i want to be half dead of blueballs and i want their heated gazes to revive me im js 

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Me in high school:  Yeah I’m really interested in history I read all about the history, would you like to hear about a bunch of famous battles and military commanders?

Me now:  Yeah I’m really into history, would you like to listen to me ramble for two hours about the origin of pants?

[calamusgerent-blog]

The absolute funniest thing is applying common criticisms of fanfiction to classical authors

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Change ur mistress into a cow so your wife doesn’t catch you cheating

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I guess it can’t really be called “whitewashing” or any of that for Amazons to be usually depicted as Hellenic, since most people think they were entirely fictional and will look at you funny if you try and tell them that the ancient stories about Amazons had a basis in reality.

But listen.

I think it’s time for them to finally give us the man-killing weed-smoking gender-exploring Indo-Iranian Amazons that Herodotus tried to warn us about. I think the world is ready.

[calamusgerent-blog]

honestly if a vampire ever “sparkled” in public no ones going to think they’re not human. they’re just gonna be like “damn that’s a lot of body glitter. man look at you being you, right on. you do you boo, freedom of expression.”

[calamusgerent-blog]

So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.

Clueless (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling.

[calamusgerent-blog]

“This is the key to Jareth the Goblin King’s character. He is Sarah’s inner fantasy, a figure made up of her daydreams and nightmares. I strove to reflect this in Jareth’s costume. He is seen, through her eyes, as part dangerous goblin, part glamorous rock star. I designed him a riding-crop sceptre, a visual echo of a microphone. Look closely and you will see references to the romantic figure of Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights and a brooding Rochester from Jane Eyre. He is also a transfiguring Scarlet Pimpernel. Jareth is the proud lord of the manor, lord of his goblin domain, with his hounds at his feet, ready to go hunting for human souls. His leather jacket indicates that he is a rebel, an outsider, and dangerous. He is Brando in The Wild Ones. He is a knight from Grimm’s fairy tales, with the worms of death eating through his armour. In short, Jareth needed to be a mercurial figure who would continually throw Sarah off balance emotionally. When I first met David Bowie, it was in his dressing room. The workshop had made him a little flute out of bone. His immediate response was delight, and he leaped up onto the dressing table, crouched down, and played some notes. It was an astonishing transformation. Before me hunkered an evocation of Pan.”

— from Goblins of Labyrinth, by Brian Froud (via theumbrellaseller)

[calamusgerent-blog]

[calamusgerent-blog]

Percy, calm the fuck down  (x)

[calamusgerent-blog]

I HAVE NO WORDS

(ALSO this seems to be the op, on youtube)

[calamusgerent-blog]

ancient egypt really is something else

[calamusgerent-blog]

The Celluloid Closet (1995)

Dir. Rob Epstein & Jeffrey Friedman

[calamusgerent-blog]

I like it when tybalt tells mercutio to “have at thee boy” because it’s like a really old timey “try me bitch”

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when someone asks me what is my favorite character from the vampire chronicles

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pearl + introducing movies

mystery science theater 3000

[calamusgerent-blog]

The saga of floral fucks continues.