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[bye-bye-beautiful]

I’ve never known someone

So convinced

Of their own despair

It can’t be much of a life

When you’re constantly

Holding yourself

Down

[bye-bye-beautiful]

My dreams are frantic

Clashing colors

Racing thoughts

And you

Always you

Sometimes I wish for peace

Most times I enjoy the madness

[bye-bye-beautiful]

It’s not the same as it used to be

But so it goes

You think I’d be used to being wrong

By now

[bye-bye-beautiful]

I explain my views on life

In words I’ve only read

Because no one has asked to hear my thoughts before

[bye-bye-beautiful]

The cavern inside my chest was unexplored before I met you

And the signs told of danger ahead

Maybe I should have warned you of that before you went in

For years you chipped away at the stone walls from inside

Striking with weapons that were handed down to you

Family legacies that you carry still

And maybe at first you hoped for freedom

Or a way out

Or a better way in

But in the end

It was still just destruction

[bye-bye-beautiful]

Sometimes I worry

That all the good words have already been written

A million stories

A million thoughts put to paper

What more could I say?

[bye-bye-beautiful]

Do you mourn

The broken glass

Or the million cuts

Upon your skin?

[bye-bye-beautiful]

What a disappointment

It has been

To grow up

And realize

There’s no magic

In being grown

I’m just me

Just as I always was

And I am starting to think

That will never change

[bye-bye-beautiful]

I can’t tell you

What your legacy will be

I can’t tell you

The memories others will share

When you’re gone

I can tell you

That you will not be spoken of

In this home

We do not welcome

Ghosts of the past

[bye-bye-beautiful]

You will be many things

In your life

And some of them

Will be

Wonderful

-Promises to my children

[bye-bye-beautiful]

I won’t watch you dig a hole

That will one day be your grave

And I won’t let you hand me a shovel

Either

[bye-bye-beautiful]

It’s been too long since I’ve heard

Crashing waves

And I think I had forgotten

How it feels to match my breaths

To the sound

[bye-bye-beautiful]

It won’t always

Be like this

They promise

And I guess it’s probably true

It won’t always be this hard

Won’t always feel like

You’re drowning

Under it all

But if it feels like that today

It’s okay to not be okay

And to not yet believe

It won’t always

Be like this

[bye-bye-beautiful]

Sometimes it hurts like a paper cut

Sharp

But small

And sometimes

It’s an amputation

Traumatic wound

And I’m bleeding out

Or it’s a toothache

Or a burn

Or a goddamn car crash

But missing you

It always hurts

[bye-bye-beautiful]

I don’t regret

Crying these tears for you

My love is vast

Like the ocean

And I will fill it with

Saltwater

And invite you to swim

[bye-bye-beautiful]

Am I there

Late at night

When the shadows in your room

Whisper your regrets

Or do you consider us

(Foolishly)

A job well done?

[bye-bye-beautiful]

I’m sorry

For the way my love

Ebbs

And flows

But you should know

I’ve never been anything more

Than saltwater

And crashing waves