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has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

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did you see tucker carlson claiming that he got mauled by a demon?

Yeah hes been saying shit like that for years. I'm kinda surprised people are just learning about that now.

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Cinderella but its about a butch lesbian who lost her strap

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

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Voters in Iowa have the opportunity to do something very funny here.

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watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before

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inaction fans when they find out making no choice is a choice in and of itself

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I mean surely we all grew up feeling like there was a wrongness inherently deep inside us that will endure for the rest of our lives

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They're having a 2 for 1 Who gives a Fuck special at the Shove It up your Ass store

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"find something that doesn't feel like work to you" so close! everything feels like work because I just want to be at home doing nothing and to go on walks

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don't fall yourself a power bottom unless you throw it back like this