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[bucketofchaos]

I think it’s time...

I think it’s time to let go of the affection that was hidden.

I think it’s time to let go of the hope that was not given.

I think it’s time to let go of the love that was not reciprocated.

I think it’s time to let go of the young heart that has remained unnoticed.

I think it’s time to let go of the person who was not destined.

You’ve been waiting for almost 12 years; I think it’s time.

[bucketofchaos]

Letter to the heart that is numb

A Letter to the Heart that is Numb

To the heart that is numb, Standing in taraweeh (Ramadan night prayers) while everyone is weeping – except you. Your friends talk about how exhilarating fasting is for them – but all you feel is irritation; and that is if you feel anything at all. Your supplications are just words you repeat – without heart.

What is the point of all of it? Your actions are robotic. Monotone. Without soul. You wish you could be like that person praying next to you in taraweeh who sobs during every prostration. You want to be the one passionately pleading with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) with humility. Your hope is that you can be that person whose heart is broken before God.

You know what, though? You, too, are special to Allah. You who recites the Qur’an because you know it is good. You who prays because Allah commanded you to. You who attends lectures on Islam because you want to feel closer to Him. The Prophet ﷺ told us that the person who recites the Qur’an and struggles with the recitation receives twice the reward: for their recitation and for their effort and struggle.

Ibn Al-Qayyim used this hadith (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) as the basis for his statement that the person who struggles to be devoted in prayer gets twice the reward: for the parts that he was devoted, and for his struggle to stay focused. As long as you are trying, Allah is with you. The fact that you get up to pray qiyaam (night prayer) even though you feel nothing is appreciated by Allah. When you mouth the words to your du`a even when your heart is numb, Allah knows how you feel. And you are rewarded for that. Do not think that this will go to waste. Allah gets it. Because you are not worshiping a feeling. You do not bow down solely for that ‘high’. You prostrate only to the Lord of the feelings and the One who is the Most High. You submit to Him – through your prayers, fasting and supplication – because you know you have a Merciful, Just, Appreciative, Forgiving God, Who has the power to give life to everything that is dead. Including your heart.

You know you have a Nurturing, Patient, Generous, Subtle and Kind Lord who is can bring back whatever is lost. He can bring you back.

So to the heart that is numb: Do not give up just yet. Your heart is on a journey. You are first and foremost worshiping your Lord. And He has promised you: “And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.” (Qur’an, 29:69)

As long as you are doing good, Allah will guide you and He is with you. Do you know what that means?

Imam Ash-Shawkani stated that Allah being with someone means more care, honouring and preference for the person. And you know what else? Allah loves what you do. He tells us: “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.” (Qur’an, 19:96)

Allah will not only love you, but He will show that love for you. He will bestow His affection upon you, and your heart will feel it.

So keep trekking. Your heart will open – He is, after all, al-Fattah. Al-Fattah is He who opens whatever is closed; your heart included. You might wonder when and how, but just know that it will happen. It could be on the last night of Ramadan or it could be a month after Ramadan – your heart will open, God willing. The daily exercise you do might not look like much, but you will inevitably see the results if you persevere.

Similarly, your good actions slowly chip away at what has been hardening your heart and, eventually, you will feel.

And if it gets too much, just talk to God. Tell Him how you feel, and tell Him how you want to feel. Do it every night, and every time you feel empty. God is there; never underestimate your turning to Him. ‘Turning to Him’ does not just mean prayers and supplications; you can just tell Him what is in your heart.

On the Day of Judgment, you will be grateful for your perseverance and your hope in Him, because it will matter more than you will ever know. So push yourself and exert all the effort you can muster. The tiniest ray of light can brighten the darkest of places.

Love , A fellow heart that is* numb. (*was)

[bucketofchaos]

In times of giving up, keep in mind that everything will fall into place soon.

[bucketofchaos]

Pouring of thoughts

This worldly life gives you the sweetest of the sweetest things, but when you turn back to the Almighty, you encounter different challenges, trials, and hardships in life.

So, you'll start questioning yourself or even the Almighty (Astaghfirullah!) with such questions as "Why are these things happening to me or to us?" "Why am I living a miserable life?" "Why are those disbelievers living an oh-so-fancy life?" "Why are those believers (specifically those Muslims who are affected by war) having a hard time in life?" etc.

As those questions were being asked, I realized or discovered the answer to those questions or the reason why these things were happening. It is to test how strong our faith is, how long we will hold onto Allah, or how we are going to deal with our problems and challenges in life.

Another reason is that when you desire something (an example is the Jannahtul Firdaus), you'll have to earn it, work hard to achieve it, and face all the challenges and trials that life has given you (we all have different fights or trials in life). Just like when you are at work, you are trying hard to be promoted, and in order for you to be promoted, you have to work for it or you have to earn it.

As an ulama has said, those who are true in faith are those who are tested the most, and those who are astray are those who are living in comfort the most. For those believers who are able to sab'r, the situations they encounter will strengthen their faith more and lead them closer to Allah (SWA). Ma shaa Allah!

So, we must be patient with all the trials that have been inflicted on us. We must have faith in Allah. We must trust the Almighty. Indeed, everything happens for a reason.

We have lots of whys in life that might lead us down a dark path or lead us astray. But even if we have those whys in our minds, at the end of the day we must remember that "Allah is the best planner," and indeed the promise of Allah is true (40:77)

[bucketofchaos]

only from the heart can you touch the sky...

[bucketofchaos]

stay till the sun sets...

[bucketofchaos]

Nothing makes me happy at the same time sad, knowing that I got really attached to this beautiful sunshines in human form and honestly, day by day makes it really hard to get detached from them.

Spent my two years of senior high school with these sunshines, but it seems like I've known them for a lifetime. I couldn't ask for more. They are enough. Cinco is enough.

Until we meet again, sunshines.

[bucketofchaos]

How I miss the warm sea breeze, the sound of the crashing waves, and the soft sand, squeeshing it between my toes.

Take me to the ocean...

[bucketofchaos]

Hijaab is a reminder, a reminder of my faith, a reminder of my freedom, a reminder of my chastity, a remider of my identity, and a reminder of who I truly am, a striving muslimah.

I am strong with my hijaab. I am brave with my hijaab. I am free with my hijaab. I am a queen with my hijaab.

Hijaab is my beauty. Hijaab is my crown.

[bucketofchaos]

It might be a long journey and I know I can make it. Try me! #Dearlife

[bucketofchaos]

Ya Badani, now is the time for you to pick up yourself from the ground. Let go of the negative vibes, reach out towards positivity.

Ya Nafsi, now is the time for you to purify yourself. Let go of your worldly desires, reach out to your deen and work for your akhirah.

Ya Qalbi, now is the time to cleanse yourself and direct it towards strengthening your faith. Let go of the love of which is not meant for the sake of Allah, reach out to ‘ilm and compete towards the love of Allah.

[bucketofchaos]

Until we meet again, ya Ramadhan! In shaa Allah ♡

[bucketofchaos]

Love

We all have different interpretations of the word love.

According to Merriam Webster, love is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person, an attraction that includes sexual desire, the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship with a person you love in a romantic way.

The way Merriam Webster describe or defined the word love is an understatement. Because love is a significant feeling which no word could describe it nor define it.

In my own opinion, love is when you know that Allah exist in your heart and Allah loves you.

I'm going to stress out the sentence 'Allah exist in your heart' which means you love the Almighty, that love for Allah consists of fear, trust, hope, faith, etc.

Love is when you chose to wake up early in the morning to pray faj'r over sleep. When you make time for prayer despite of your busy schedule.

Love is when you hear the Adhan you immediately stop/pause the movie you are watching (even if you are at the climax), you chose to stand up, make ablution, and pray.

Love is bearing the pain of your legs when you are praying taraweeh or tahajjud.

Love is bearing the pain on your throat when you are reading the Qur'an, especially when it is ramadhan and you badly want to stop reading the Qur'an because of your dry throat but you kept going.

Love is bearing the hunger and thirst because you are fasting, giving charity, and spreading positivity.

Love exist in your heart, everytime you do good. Everytime you pray the 5 obligatory prayers, sunnah, and so on. Everytime you make dua. Everytime you make ablution. Everytime you say Alhamdulillah, Allahu akbar, Subhanallah, and the Twin testimony (Ash-hadu an la illaha illallah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammada rasulollah) etc.

And if this type of love exists in your heart, you will love everyone else in this world sincerely and halal. And in shaa Allah, you will meet those whom you loved in this dunya in the akhirah. Until your very last breath, you'll continue to love. In shaa Allah!

May Allah grant us a good and loving heart! ♡

[bucketofchaos]

It is not the eyes that are blind, but the hearts

Qur'an 22:46

[bucketofchaos]

Five personal advices of Jibreel about Life

‘5 advices of Jibreel (A.S) to the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)’

Live as you will but know that one day you’re going to die

Love whom you will but know that one day you will be separated with that person

Do as you will and know that you will be compensated and rewarded accordingly

Keep doing what you do and know that the reward is in the hereafter

Know that the nobility of the believer is his standing up in prayer at night. And as for his dignity, its his being independent of people

[bucketofchaos]

People will only show you what they want you to see. Remember, everyone has a chapter in their lives where they don’t read out loud. So don’t be fooled by the “perfect front” that people put up on social media. You’d be foolish to believe all that.

Mufti Menk

[bucketofchaos]

No one else is responsible for my happiness except me

No one else is responsible for my happiness except me.

No one else is responsible for my happiness except me.

No one else is responsible for my happiness except me.

Keep repeating it until it sinks in.

Free will is real and some of us need to be reminded that the choices WE make every day about how we use our time determines our level of satisfaction in life, NOT the people in our lives.

Remember, God has equipped us with EVERY possible means to reach the highest pleasure in this world (nearness to Him) and yet we carelessly turn to heedlessness instead. So what then gives us the right to expect that our spouse, our child, our mother, our father, our sibling, our best friend, etc., or anyone else for that matter should fulfill us?

Would you feel any sympathy for a man who lives near a well but is constantly complaining of thirst because he doesn’t want to inconvenience himself by having to walk through the beautiful garden outside and then go through the trouble of getting the water? And would you feel he is justified to yell at all his neighbors every day who pass by his house for not bringing some water for him? No, of course not!

But, how many of us constantly complain about how unhappy we are when the solutions are so easily in our reach? How many of us set really low expectations for ourselves and high ones for others? How many of us set others up to fail and then punish them? How many of us live life putting in minimum effort into what we do, but still expect amazing results?

Input determines output. Only when we strive to please Allah, subhana wa ta'ala, first will He make certain we taste true happiness in this world and the next, in sha Allah!

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