bsdthoughts

[bsdthoughts]

there are few things better than blasting conquest of paradise or o fortuna at 1 am

[bsdthoughts]

When the "Ever watch zootopia?" Post comes floating around.... I will now be able to say...yes, yes I have

[bsdthoughts]

A feeling that is probably as bad as nails scratching over a black board: pulling a dry tampon out of your vagina

[bsdthoughts]

When you only sleep for about 2 hours and can't remember absolutely anything that happened after you woke up after the first time your alarm rang is terrifying. Like... apparently I accidentally sent my bf a 7 second silent voice message while reading the message he sent, I don't even remember reading that!! But at least I actually managed to eat, brush my teeth, use deodorant, and be on my way on time this morning all at once, so the day doesn't look that bad. Maybe I'll actually cook something. Would be nice

[bsdthoughts]

Sometimes I fantasize about buying cheap Aldi Vodka. But then I think about how I only love to be drunk in the presence of my friends, because that’s when the funny stuff happens. I need more funny stuff in my life. I haven’t max’d it out yet. The stories I can tell are too limited. I mean I can still shock people (especially my mom lol), because I have such a nice and goody-two-shoes outward appearance (especially when meeting parents), but I have this desire to run wild. Not even in the “Oh, let’s spontaneously catch this flight to Brazil” sense, but... I’m not ready for responsibility, taxes, that whole shit. I just feel like starting a cult in the forest or something. I wish it were an acceptable occupation to just be that guy/gal that stands in one’s office corner and looks pretty badass in armor. Is it too much to ask for? Too much to dream for?

Another funny point is...I ain’t a team person. Like... I just can’t get behind most team activities like joining a sports club or religion or some shit like that. I’m always that awkward person in the background (or silently watching in the shadows, taking notes. Pick whatever sounds more adequate or pompous). But some part of me desparately wishes to commit to something, be a part of something. But nothing fits me, or I don’t have the motivation or capacity to actually make that commitment. I want to be that person few are close to, but is looked up to in reverence. Noone knows what her actual job is, but everyone looks to her for guidance (mostly she just listens or asks questions, letting the person seeking advise come to their own conclusion, but when necessary actually give advise lol). But I don’t wanna be a guru type. I’m no leader. I’m a second in command type. I’m a fricking dog person. According to some I have a dog personality. Which is probably true (Thanks Leica). I’m just this quiet person that likes to look a tiny bit scary, but actually hides a lot behind her facade. Anybody have a job for me? Without any real qualifications except a pretty good  Abitur? I can do a lot for people. Just not for myself. I kinda would like to draw up my own responsibilities, but I’d still need people to check if I actually do that. Drag me out of my room to get me to the gym, I’d approve. Have communal meals, so I have the possibility to eat without only being responsible for myself (given that I’d help in the kitchen from time to time). I’m not one to shy away from simple dirty work if my help is needed either. I just need to be told what to do and I need a higher cause. I’m a useless revolutionary bastard basically. A bit like that dude from Les Miserables who’s into Enjolras, but with less drinking, and more functionality. That’s a weird comparison.

Lol. I’m whiny. I need to get a grip on reality. Stop living in dream worlds.

Job recommendations for jobs including:

armor + nicely coloured coat of arms (gotta be fashionable)

great boots. Good looking and practical boots are my sexuality

great group spirit

kind colleagues...like the kind you are just short of falling for

being a bit embarassing is okay

living together is a possibility

place of work could be a cool complex in the woods or a castle ideally or just some place with lots of history

They don’t need me to do a lot of public speaking

making plans

I’m a bit in charge

We take turns cooking, cleaning and that stuff

I want the possibility to ride a horse sometimes and look fly as fuck

Sometimes we go on camping trips. But in uniform. To impress people.

Outsiders need to think “ WTF...but it kinda is an aesthetic”

aiming for epicness. like you need to recreate the ride of the Rohirrim. We’re your guys. But we just do this shit as our regular dayjob. You got this roaming hoard of fully armored and armed people riding around in the landscape to look pretty.

I can exhaust myself during the day physically, and can do interesting debates or research afterwards.

Stunning woman in charge

sci-fi technology

there needs to be at least one office dog

three day weekend

I get to hang out with the nerds of the already nerd-organisation

Hoodies with our coat of arms

are appreciated though.

How did I end up here? But it was actually kinda nice to get these thoughts out. It’s kinda hard to explain the sentence “plate armor is my aesthetic” to your therapist. And embarassing.

[bsdthoughts]

Things I definitely do: Show friends the absolutely most embarassing pictures that were taken of me....kinda proudly. At least they know I will never be able to be blackmailed with compromising pictures.

[bsdthoughts]

Maryden singing in French in Val Royeaux really made my day, but I'm confused why she is marked with a quest marker

[bsdthoughts]

I will forever treasure that Anders says "Andraste's flaming knickers" during Haunted

[bsdthoughts]

Omg I just had such a weird dream. It all started that Mike from Stranger Things starred in a horror movie, Joyce was his mom though and she had agreed to let Mike star in that movie if the production team renovated her cafe. The seats were then weird rubber spirals hanging from the ceiling.

After that I had to go on a weird winter expedition. To get home I had to touch a birthmark on the underside of a very human skin looking mushroom. I came into a transit station where you could only get on, when a relative recognized you on a tape where you answered standardized questions. After a while I had to go to the toilet. They were in the middle of the shower room and nearly continously occupied, and there were at least a dozen people waiting, standing in the typical water film of public showers. There were also refugees housed in the shower room. Some of the people waiting with me were pretty big assholes and made it a point to annoy me.

Some time passed and I had finally found my dad and my sister, they wouldn’t let us go, because noone from the outside claimed us. Instead we were broken up and made to take on strange jobs. Then I definitely wasn’t myself anymore, because for some reason I was turned into this gorgeous, tall, thin like a whip black woman. I took a saddle and was assigned to a military horse bridgade. My horse was very damn cool. Me and my partner were assigned to kill some noble for whatever reason and it ended up with him and me plunging our blades into the noble’s chest. He admitted defeat and only asked for one last thing: He wanted to read the last few pages of the book he was currently reading so he wouldn’t die never knowing the ending. Tbh that was a real power move

[bsdthoughts]

Jfc I can't bring Morrigan anywhere without her disapproving of my actions. Next time you’re giving me attitude I'm gonna exchange you for Fluffy

[bsdthoughts]

Stamets before the first time loop is me when I'm drunk

[bsdthoughts]

Having a cold, or eating soggy Cornflakes and they are still scratchy in my throat and coughing them across the room

[bsdthoughts]

Und? Ich bin weder Model noch Lottogewinner, wieso sollte mich das interessieren??

[bsdthoughts]

Please just stop drawing women with heels, especially when they are meant to do outdoorsy stuff or fighting (1 inch for riding boots is okay). Because no, they won't survive walking 10 meters over a rugged field or some shit. Give them beautiful, heavy boots. Or slim, flexible ones if they are assasins. Just stop drawing women in uncomfortable, dangerous shoes.

[bsdthoughts]

A Eulogy for a dear companion

My love,

Not always have I considered you, when I went my ways, but you always helped me battle the worst of storms.

Rest in peace, my dearest umbrella

[bsdthoughts]

As a non-native English speaker differing between slangs confuses me, because I learned half of my English on here, half of the time I don't recognize a term as slang, or I might think it's just some internet phenomenon, and the other half I couldn't for the hell of it tell it apart except for very obvious terms

[bsdthoughts]

Tfw this happens when you open a booster