brittlebranchesandbossbitches

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 39: Next Question

Brief summary

Ginger has a crush on her quiz bowl teacher/coach. No one makes any sort of attempt to dissuade her from this, so let’s prepare to cringe, shall we?

Anyway, the show begins with Quiz Team practice, because they’re going up against Furnace Brook Middle School on live, public-access TV soon. The teacher, who is not hard on the eyes given the art style, presents the team with “jerseys” aka sweatshirts with the Quiz Team logo on them, a butterscotch brown sweater with a yellow lightbulb that has a blue L on it. 

In the next scene, Ginger is clearly distracted and mentions that Mr. Gardner has cute ears to Dodie and Macie. Dodie is all over it, accusing Ginger of having a crush on him. Ginger replies, “That’s sick.” Of course, denial is a river in Egypt, because the scene ends with a close up shot of Ginger doodling her and Mr.Gardner’s name all over her notebook cover.

When the girls run into him at the mall, Dodie makes a point of introducing herself, and Ginger introduces him to Lois. He makes the mistake of telling Ginger that she can call him Trevor since they’re off the clock. Things only get more cringey from here. 

Let me remind all of you, dear readers, GINGER IS 13. TREVOR IS A WHOLE-ASS ADULT MAN. Best case scenario, he’s 22-23 and fresh out of college...except Ginger says he’s probably Lois’ age.  Oh, he doesn’t get out of this scot-free with his inability to set clear student-teacher boundaries. He could have put the brakes on this at any time unless he was just that oblivious, and I don’t think he was. Watch this episode again, and watch how he acts. . 

Trevor rollerblades. Ginger, Dodie, and Macie show up at his house wearing rollerblades. To be fair, Macie asks where the line is between this and stalking, and Ginger is ready to back out, but Dodie goads them on. Macie gets a broken arm for her trouble, and before you know it, Dodie’s convinced that Trevor is into Ginger and that she needs to ask him out.

So...she does....

During the Quiz Bowl....

Which is on LOCAL TV and live in front of a studio audience! 

Meanwhile, Carl and Hoodsey are selling scarves as part of their latest hustle. To help move inventory, Carl decides to turn them into souvenir scarves to honor the local groundhog, Pawtucket Pete, since Groundhog’s Day is coming up. Part two of the plan involves setting Pete free to drive sales. So, the boys spend the night at Brandon’s because he lives the closest to where Pete is, and they sneak out in the middle of the night to lure the groundhog away. The next day, the scarves are selling like hotcakes, but things go awry when Mr. Licorice comes flying out of Pete’s cave and unleashes chaos. Carl sees an opportunity to play hero and gets the monkey, who has taken Muffin the dog hostage, to surrender by singing the Little Seal Girl theme song.

Spot the Clique

Dinah is on the Quiz Team. 

Traci Lefferts is talking to Lonnie in the hallway next to the bathroom. 

Courtneyisms

Courtney’s not in this one, but dear Lord, I’m not sure if she would be the voice of reason or if she’d just make things worse with a flawed parallel comparing this to her crush on Will Patterson or mentioning some family friend that married a woman half his age. 

Gingerisms

Your girl, Ginger, was holding the Idiot Ball the entire episode. If she’d just listen to her usually not-terrible instincts, she wouldn’t have embarrassed herself like she did. How, HOW do you let Dodie and Macie get in your head like that when they’re just as inexperienced as you are?!

And ma’am, you had one job today: win the Quiz Bowl. You just sat there and daydreamed the whole time. 

The Dodie Desperation Index

“A crush on an older man is totally natural, and the sort of thing that movies of the week are made of.”

“The words ‘very cute’ are reserved only for baby animals and new crushes.” 

Honestly, Dodie’s just terrible in this episode. This whole crush thing could have blown over if she wasn’t constantly egging Ginger on and gassing her up. And then she has the nerve to say that Trevor likes Ginger in the same way?! Ew. Ew. EW. NO. 

Of course, I appreciate the death glare Lois gives her when they go to check on Ginger in the bathroom once she realizes this whole thing is mostly her fault. I mean, Carl has flooded a playground with sewage and didn’t get this look from Lois.

Miranda’s Malice

Also not in this episode, but I’m sure she’s made a point of ragging on Ginger about it for the rest of the year. 

There’s Something About Macie

So...Macie has a thing for either Mr. Cilia or his ear hair. I’m uncertain which.

Macie is usually the voice of reason in this situation, but she got sucked in just as much as Ginger did.

Boys and their Toys

Today we learned that Hoodsey can knit, but he either can’t finish an edge or Carl won’t let him have enough time to do so.

We also learned that Nermal, I mean Brandon, likes “The Little Seal Girl”. 

Hoodsey: Praying monkeys are just plain wrong, and I’m a religious man. 

Continuity

I guess at some point after episode 10, Ginger was allowed to wear lip gloss.

It’s late January, since the boys’ scheme is centered around Groundhog’s Day. 

Groundhog’s Day(2/2) is on a Saturday. 

Trivial Things

The Quiz Bowl team consists of Ginger, Macie, Chet Zipper, some random kid with glasses, and Dinah. 

It’s worth noting that Ginger is the one that waits until the question is completely read aloud to answer. Macie is the interrupter type. Chet is the one who rings in and takes 300 years to answer.

Trevor lives in a town/neighborhood called Marshy HIlls. 

Furnace Brook has apparently won the last seven Quiz Bowls. 

The Mayor’s last name is Mennenclary. 

And why in the hell is Trevor hosting/emceeing the Quiz Bowl? You’re the coach, my dude. 

The Groundhog’s Day festival has been going on for 72 years. 

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‘No Hope for Courtney” afterthoughts

1. Between this episode and Deja Who, it’s pretty clear that Ginger, Dodie, and Macie know what it takes to become part of the clique but none of them have actually bothered applying it to themselves. Macie has no interest in it. Ginger wants the popularity, but she wants it on her terms, not by turning herself into a redheaded Courtney clone again. (And considering her penchant for throwing her whole body and soul into things, that’s exactly what would happen.) But then there’s Dodie. She wants popularity in the worst possible way. She has the data to transform herself into someone the clique would accept. What’s stopping her from applying it? 

2. So, Hope v2.0 was meaner than Courtney ever was, but she was intended to mimic Courtney by design. Is Courtney not as nice as the show’s portrayed her to be, or was Hope really just a mean girl all along? 

3. Canonically speaking, Hope’s makeover pretty firmly cements every episode you’ve seen her in prior to this one as being....well, prior to this one. It’s the same logic as how once Darren got his braces off, every episode with his headgear occurred prior to that. Same with Noelle changing schools. 

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 38: No Hope for Courtney

Brief summary

To be or wannabe, that is the question. 

Hope Rogers, who is the girl in the green beret that you’ve been seeing in the background for the last 37 episodes, has decided she wants a storyline, a name, and a personality. With Ginger, Dodie, and Macie’s help, she becomes a Courtney clone that quickly surpasses the real thing and takes over Lucky Jr. High. 

Hope’s invisibility is so bad, in fact, that everyone thinks her name is Faith, even Ginger, Dodie, and Macie. (When they enter the bathroom after Courtney and the clique leave, they straight up talk about her like she’s not even there, but she calls them out on it.) 

After a meeting in Ginger’s room, the girls present Hope with a battle plan on how to become noticeable. She emerges from her cocoon the next day with a sassy new Meg Ryan haircut, a better outfit, and an arsenal of self-referential puns, ready to take Courtney’s place as the queen bee. Hope manages to dethrone La Gripling when she accuses her of paying for her grades, which she doesn’t, but it stuns her so much that she can’t generate a snappy comeback. At that point, everyone abandons her, even Miranda. 

Things escalate when Ginger tries to fix things by convincing Hope to let Courtney back in, and Courtney (having an existential crisis) rejects her because she knows it’s a PR move. That just pisses Hope off, and she straight up calls Courtney bitter and a loser, then telling Ginger that if she hangs out with Courtney, she’s a loser too. 

Ginger gets the idea, courtesy of Lois helping Carl, to convince Courtney to throw an epic bash at the Gripling estate to remind everyone who they’re fucking with and to offer an olive branch to Hope. Hope shows up late, tries to pick a fight with Courtney, and they end up on the floor complimenting each other’s highlights. Hope kinda apologizes, and it’s all very “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”, which Courtney loves, and now they’re friends. 

Meanwhile, Carl and Hoodsey’s teacher, Mrs. Gordon decides to retire and Carl doesn’t want her to go. They discover this when she’s unusually late for class, and the music teacher, Mr. Hepper, walks in instead of her or the substitute teacher they’ve mentally prepared for. Apparently, she’s had enough of Carl’s prankster bullshit and decided to nope the fuck out and collect her coins at the house. Carl and Hoodsey decide to try and win her back by behaving themselves, but to no avail. When she returns to pack her things, she tells them that even if they have truly improved, they’ve done it without her, so let her pack in peace. So they opt to swing the opposite direction and rain holy hell on the school to get her to come back. That doesn’t work either. So, Carl, at Lois’ urging, gets Blake to host a retirement party at the Gripling manse, for better or worse. But in the end, she passes away the day after the party. 

Spot the Clique

So, obviously, this is a very clique-oriented episode. The opening scene is Hope in the bathroom with Courtney, Miranda, Mipsy, Casey, and Lonnie. 

Lonnie, Miranda, and Courtney are in class together when Hope v2.0 walks in. Courtney proceeds to call her Charity, causing Hope to bite back with, “The name’s Hope. As in, ‘Sure hope your memory’s not as bad as your manicure, Courtney’.” Miranda is, of course, impressed. 

Later on we see Courtney, Miranda, Mipsy, Lonnie, and Traci Lefferts with three unknown girls about to hang out at Courtney’s house when Hope appears to say, “Hope you’ve left your schedules open, people. I’m hosting an impromptu water disco this afternoon in my parents’ above-ground, glass-bottom pool.”

Donna makes an appearance at Courtney’s party. 

Courtneyisms

“And after snacks, Mama will present a documentary about my dimples from birth to their current, award-winning state.”

“Popularity is a business, Ginger, and I’m just protecting Mama’s investment.” 

I think we’ve established long ago that Courtney has a constant, desperate need to be the center of attention, and just when you think that her faux-depression and pseudo-goth aesthetic from And Then She Was Gone was the peak of it, you get jealous, angry Courtney who wants Ginger to help her destroy Hope’s newfound popularity. 

(To Dodie): It’s nothing personal, but a popular girl needs a doting sidekick.

Gingerisms

Ginger: I’d rather be nice than popular. Courtney: Only because you’ve never been popular. 

I appreciate that Ginger’s on the “Just be yourself” train, but literally no one was having that today. 

Ginger: And now you’ve learned how important it is just to be yourself. Hope (flatly): No.  Courtney: Ginger, don’t be silly. It’s so much better being me.  

The Dodie Desperation Index

Courtney, after losing the entire clique and then some to Hope, chooses Dodie as her Miranda replacement. Dodie has obviously been waiting for this day since the dawn of time, but all she can do at first is giggle nervously. 

Dodie takes her new position as Courtney’s new Miranda so seriously that she even changes her hair to a high ponytail. 

“Figures. She finally needs me, and now she’s damaged goods.” Wow. 

Ginger: I”m glad at least we learned something today. Dodie: I didn’t. I still yearn to be popular. 

Miranda’s Malice

If there is any indication that, despite being Courtney’s BFF, Miranda will always follow the power at the end of the day, it’s this episode. Hope talks shit to Courtney repeatedly, and Miranda doesn’t say a word. She even ditches Courtney when Hope finally takes her down and stands idly by when Hope calls Courtney a loser. 

There’s Something About Macie

Ginger: But what separates the Hopes from the Courtneys? Macie: Naturally long eyelashes and the ability to pull off horizontal stripes? 

Boys and their Toys

Y’all. How much do you have to work a teacher’s nerves to be the one to make them retire? To be fair, in 8th grade algebra, a classmate asked something so dumb that it made our teacher walk out of the classroom for a solid 10-15 minutes. 

I would also like to know more about this Noodle Incident with the plastic toad and the wood glue. 

Hoodsey: His harmless pranks and blatant disrespect were meant to drive her crazy, not drive her away, dig?

(Carl brings Mrs. Gordon flowers.) Carl: But they’re real. Mrs. Gordon: So’s a hernia, but I don’t want one of those, either. 

You don’t often get to see Carl being this sincere, complete with a jazz number. 

Continuity

Ginger says in this episode that she didn’t become friends with Dodie and Macie until second grade, but in other episodes they’ve known each other since PreK or Kindergarten. 

Jean-Pierre has lines for the first time since episode 3 when I called him Pepe LePew. I always thought exchange students only stayed a year at most, but there he is flirting with Hope. 

Trivial Things

Your Lois Line of the Day: I don’t care if it’s a fruit, a vegetable, or General Sherman’s derriere, just bag my tomatoes and leave me in peace.

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As Retold by Ginger, Episode 37: And She Was Gone

Brief summary

This episode is about depression, but it's not.

All Ginger did was write a poem about a girl that was depressed and wanted to literally disappear, but everyone loses their shit because they misinterpret it as a cry for help. She shows it to Ms. Zorski for critique, and her response was to refer Ginger to the school psychologist. I mean, she was super nice about it, though. No one believes her when she says it's not about her, not even Dodie and Macie. (Spoiler alert: she gets published)

Meanwhile, Carl buys some vanishing powder from a magic shop and uses it on a girl named Noelle Sussman to make her disappear. Barely minutes after putting it around her desk, he and Hoodsey realize that they've been missing out on someone awesome, and Carl is damn near in love with her by lunch. When she doesn't show up the next day, he freaks out. The situation is so dire that he even sells his beloved petrified eyeball to buy the reversal potion. Then he finds out that the Sussmans moved across town, so she had to change schools.

Spot the Clique

Casey is in Ginger's English class.

Casey is also behind Dodie and Macie in the cafeteria with Lonnie.

Courtneyisms

Courtney's attention-seeking behavior is just straight-up Leo energy. (She's not a Leo, but I bet her ascendant is.)

"Being miserable earns you scads of extra attention. And who doesn't need extra attention, Ginger?"

Gingerisms

Ginger is typing her poem on a typewriter. Is it for aesthetic, or has Lois simply not managed to buy a used computer from work yet? Both are valid.

The Dodie Desperation Index

Not even a full two minutes into the episode, and Dodie's trying to get Ginger to write her potentially published poem about her.

"Sometimes, when my mother is feeling down, she locks herself in the bathroom and screams into a hand towel." I don't know what to do with that bit of information. Wow.

Miranda’s Malice

"Man, if I had known you were, like, clinically depressed, I might have gone a little easier on you."

"I mean, there are days I really wished you'd disappear, but I had no idea you felt that way, too!"

Boys and their Toys

So this is the Noelle section today, and here's what we learned:

Noelle has finger puppets of Hoodsey, Brandon, and Mrs. Gordon. And those were just the ones I spotted.

She doesn't touch veal

She was born in Portugal

She has a pet flamingo

She's obsessed with black holes

She was an extra on a show called "Town Square"

She was held back in kindergarten for refusing to lay down on a mat.

Continuity

Must be winter because Carl's actually wearing a jacket.

Trivial Things

There's a second elementary school in Sheltered Shrubs, Happy Flower Elementary.

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Pretty sure this won't be the last time Dodie receives a fake love letter as a prank. At least next time it won't be her best friend playing an April Fool's prank on her.

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Alexa, play Jill Scott's "Getting in the Way".

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As Retold by Ginger, Episode 36: Mommie Nearest

Brief summary

Claire Gripling is in the hospital due to an infection from her facelift. Miranda is ambivalent. Courtney is beside herself. Ginger is sympathetic. Lois is reassuring. Ginger offers to let Courtney stay at the Foutley house for a few days to avoid being lonely, but Courtney makes herself a little too comfortable in her provincial surroundings and latches on to Lois as a substitute mom. Ginger gets jealous, partially due to Dodie and Macie reminding her how clingy, needy, and "helpful" Courtney likes to be, and partially because she started realizing how much she'd been kind of blowing off mother-daughter time lately. When Courtney asks to stay a few more days while Claire recoups at a spa in New Mexico, Ginger gives her the boot. The whole thing resolves with Courtney not learning a damn thing and Ginger apologizing to Courtney without actually giving her an explanation for her attitude.

Meanwhile, the boys are watching a plastic surgery show, and now Carl wants a chin implant...which given the fact that 85% of the characters on this show don't have one, isn't all that crazy outside of him being 10. He naturally goes to the only surgeon he knows, Dr. Dave, who convinces him that maybe he should make a fake chin to test out. He does, and it proceeds to induce terror among the elementary school masses. When he realizes that the intimidation factor exceeded his actual desires, it's time for it to come off.

Spot the Clique

This episode is Courtney-heavy, and you get a little Miranda in the first few minutes while they're at the hospital.

Courtneyisms

"Nothing says 'Sorry about the botched plastic surgery' like daisies and pink rosebuds."

"There's no trusting a facility named Same Day Nip-and-Tuck."

"Are you saying they don't grow frozen vegetables in frozen soil, Mrs. Foutley?"

"Even Miranda wouldn't come with me [to the hospital], and she loves misery."

So, Courtney is out here running a whole school with this clique of hers, but she didn't ask a single damn one of them if she could stay with them? Not even Miranda? Or Mipsy? Those two are supposed to be her friends and not clout-chasers like the rest of them. Just because Ginger extended the offer didn't mean she had to say yes.

Sooo....we not gonna address Courtney's latching on to Lois every time she comes to the Foutley house?

And I guess we ain't talking about how Courtney is probably almost as much of a latchkey kid as Macie is?

Gingerisms

Jealous Ginger is not a cute Ginger. However, if this isn't a damn fine example of the shoe being on the other foot, I don't know what is. Think about Miranda's equally irrational jealousy of Ginger where Courtney's concerned. But we're not ready for that level of self-actualization yet, so...

Also, I can't get with the "I'm sorry I was a bitch, but I'm not ready to explain to you why I was a bitch yet."

The Dodie Desperation Index

I wonder what Courtney would say if she knew that Dodie called her clingy and needy.

"There's helpful, and then there's 'Courtney helpful'."

Miranda’s Malice

"I can't believe they bungled a simple face-lift." I feel like either this was not Mrs. Gripling's first face-lift, or Miranda simply watches the same plastic surgery show that Carl and Hoodsey do.

There’s Something About Macie

I'm just fascinated that she sitting there corroborating all the shady shit Dodie was saying about Courtney.

Boys and their Toys

You'd think Carl would shave that heel guard down into something a smidge more natural, or at least less terrifying. Then again, this is Carl.

Hoodsey: Nice espadrilles, Blake.

Blake: Thank you, just doing my part for Casual Fridays.

Continuity

Nothing going on continuity-wise. We just know it's kind of warm out because no one's wearing anything heavier than a light sweater.

Trivial Things

Y'all. Carl's ridiculous chin obsession has brought us one step closer to Dr. Dave and Lois getting together. He was literally about to ask her out when her pager went off.

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 35: Ginger’s Solo

Brief summary

Oh, boy. This episode.

Ginger’s been calling and writing Sasha’s raggedy ass on the regular-degular since they parted ways that summer, and he has failed to respond thus far. Dodie tells her that boys have no object permanence when it comes to girls, so Ginger’s solution is that she needs to pull up in Heathered Hills. Later, serendipity rears its head in the form of a national marching band competition being held at Sasha’s school, so now it’s time to join the school band...with no relevant musical ability. (Yes, she can play the guitar, but...) Lucky for her, their triangle player drops out and she’s in. (The damn triangle weighs half of what she does.) After all that work, she stumbles across him on the school track, where he tries run off in the opposite direction before she sees him...and fails. Poor girl can’t even read the room, she’s so excited/nervous. 

When they finally talk, Sasha explains that the reason he was such an asshat all summer was that his girlfriend Clover dumped him for someone cuter, richer, and more popular than he is,and that hearing about Ginger’s not-boyfriend Ian Richton just chapped his ass. Ginger’s ready to let it all slide until Clover appears, complete with slo-mo hair toss and an outfit that wouldn’t fly in any junior high school. (Sasha clearly has a little social cache if she’s giving him the time of day.) That pretty much killed it right there, so she makes an excuse and leaves before he sees her crying.

 And who’s going to comfort Ginger in her time of need while she’s crying in the bathroom?

MIRANDA, that’s who. 

Meanwhile, the boys decide to become fake psychics to raise money to buy a microscopic stake in an Egyptian tomb that the Griplings are buying. The whole scheme turns upside down when Carl incorrectly predicts the success of the class bully, and now everyone’s protesting in his front yard.

Spot the Clique

Heather in the opening shot in the locker room without that weird headband she owns. Not far behind her is Lonnie. 

Miranda’s in band, so she appears about halfway through the episode. 

Dinah appears in Ginger’s fantasy sequence where she imagines herself in a band called...The Ponies.

Gingerisms

Ginger turned her nose up real hard at the idea of joining marching band with her band geek BFF right next to her. 

The Dodie Desperation Index

“It’s official, Ginger’s suffering from a case of post-traumatic summer love disorder.” I need you to stay out of the Lightfoot’s book collection, ma’am.

How is Dodie the president of the ethnic cooking club? “Why let a lack of talent and ability stand in your way?” she says. 

Miranda’s Malice

So, Miranda shows up at band practice and says, “Sorry, I’m on time.” Apparently, the more dedicated band folk show up 30 minutes early. She is not one of them.

Miranda: (looks at Ginger) What are you doing here? Especially when you don’t have to be.  Ginger: It’s a long story Miranda: I’m bored already. 

“Tell her the truth. We look like rejects from the Nutcracker.”

This episode has the side effect of letting you really see how much Miranda hates being in band. 

 The minute she finds out that Ginger only joined band to see Sasha, you think Miranda’s gearing up to rag the hell out of her, but she just shrugs it off by saying that chasing a guy is a legit reason to be there and at least she’s there by choice...not because her dad threatened to not buy her a car. 

This is the nicest you will ever see Miranda be toward Ginger for the entire series. Enjoy it. She’s downright encouraging. 

There’s Something About Macie

When Ginger scoffs at joining the band: “Pulled the nose up on that plane at the last minute, didn’t you?”

Boys and their Toys

I know it’s 2000-01, but Blake’s messenger bag is drawn just enough out of proportion to look like a purse. He’s also not wearing it crossbody. Not a judgment, merely an observation. 

Hoodsey: Well, so much for being the owner of a wrapped-up dead guy. 

Blake: I’m just here to chitter, chortle, and--if you’re really good--guffaw.

Continuity

It looks fall-ish,so it’s not like Ginger’s wasted a whole semester on this tool.

I wonder why the band is called the Lucky Middle Marching Band, when it’s still officially named Lucky Jr. High. 

Trivial Things

Heathered Hills is 2.5 hours away from Sheltered Shrubs. 

Mr; Blauer, the band teacher, looks kinda like Gene Shalit. 

Katie, the tuba player with the cute glasses, had Ginger clocked from the moment she walked in the band room. 

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Yes, two nine-year-olds climbed out of that because TV. 

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As Retold by Ginger, Episode 34: New Girl in Town

Brief summary

We open the episode with a close zoom of a “Kick Me” sign on someone’s back, that someone quickly revealed as being one Dodie Bishop. A new girl enters the classroom, a cute goth girl named Laetitia Bowers who promptly proceeds to park a human skull on her desk. When Mipsy, Miranda, and Courtney start gossiping about her, Ginger calls them on their bullshit and tells them not to go off of rumors. Miranda turns around and says, fine, you talk to her first. Ginger’s like “A’ight, bet.” So she invites Tish to hang out, but Ginger ghosts her at the last minute after Miranda and Mipsy get in her head as they are wont to do. 

Ginger makes up for it by immediately going to her house, Dodie and Macie in tow. Turns out Laetitia is just as shy as anyone, so Ginger convinces her to throw a party for everyone to get to know her. Of course, the clique declines to attend. Things turn around when Courtney and Miranda show up at the party and just when they’re about to make a run for it, Will Patterson and a bunch of high school kids show up to turn the party into a success.

Meanwhile, the boys are in art class driving the teacher crazy by being beyond the scope of the course when Brandon Higsby (or as I like to call him, Nermal) invites them to his birthday party. After finding out about Ginger’s plan to throw a party at Laetitia’s house, Carl and Hoodsey decide to flake. When they try, Nermal points out that everyone else turned him down, so now they have to come out of guilt. Things only get worse when they attend and try to leave; Nermal tells them he has no friends and his parents are clueless. The boys eventually get their way when they trick Nermal into believing that Laetitia’s party is actually a second party for him and bring him along.

Spot the Clique

Courtney, MIranda, and Mipsy are all over this episode. 

Hope is spotted in the hallway later on.

Courtneyisms

“And everyone knows podiatrists have the best dirt.”

“There’s making an entrance, and there’s making an entrance.”

“I’m the acknowledged leader of my social stratum, but even I must occasionally conform to the will of the group, and since the group will not go, neither will I.”

“I got to thinking about what you said, and I really hate it when I do that.”

Gingerisms

“I’m kind of tight with at least some of the in-crowd.” Yes, throw in just enough qualifiers to avoid being a complete lie. 

“Just when I thought I was in, they push me right back out.”

The Dodie Desperation Index

Again, oddly well-behaved this episode, but this is in the face of everyone else in the Main Six (to borrow from the MLP fandom) being Judgy McJudgypants. But then when Ginger’s apologizing to Laetitia for getting her hyped up about this party, Dodie keeps finishing her sentences like Miranda did earlier. 

Miranda’s Malice

I’m starting to realize that every time Miranda directly or indirectly dares Ginger to do something, she does it. I’m also noticing that Miranda gets Ginger to do these things because she won’t do them herself (stealing bank signs, go to high school parties, talk to shy girls with skulls, etc.)

Ginger: But if no one comes, I’m gonna look... Miranda: Stupid? Foolish? Like a wannabe?

Miranda: Basically, you made her(Courtney) feel guilty, spineless, amoral...” Courtney: Yes, Miranda, I think they all get the point.

Boys and their Toys

Weird subject aside, can we talk about the fact that Carl’s painting is actually pretty good? I mean, assuming Nermal wasn’t eavesdropping, the fact that he identified it that quickly says a lot. 

Hoodsey(when Carl offers to make Nermal some hair gel out of bacon grease) : I’m heartily opposed to bodily use of pork products.

Mama Higsby: We don’t put our feet on the turniture in this house.  Me: Woman, that’s an ottoman! That’s what it’s FOR!

Continuity

It must be fairly early in the school year if Dodie and Miranda are both wearing tank tops.But it’s so hard to gauge the weather on this damn show because in another scene you have Miranda in long sleeves, Courtney in a blazer and skirt, and Ginger in a t-shirt and cargo shorts.

Trivial Things

Brandon isn’t Protected Pines rich, but he’s probably on par with Macie.

Interesting that this is the first (and probably only) time we see the Lucky Elementary art teacher and Ginger’s math teacher.  

Mipsy: My mother’s cousin is the school secretary’s podiatrist. 

Nermal has an Aunt Portia and Uncle Alex, in case you need that info for fanfic fodder.

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 33: Family Therapy

Brief summary

It’s April, and Macie’s 13th birthday is coming up. Incidentally, so is Mipsy’s on the same day, and she’s planning a huge bash with karaoke, dry ice machines, and sushi. Macie, on the other hand, thinks her parents are planning a surprise party for her because they stop talking anytime she comes into the room. When Ginger gets her invite to Mipsy’s party in the mail (courtesy of Courtney), she realizes that she hasn’t gotten an invite to the party Macie’s parents are allegedly throwing her. 

That day, Ginger and Dodie get the call from a very morose Macie, telling them that there is no party because her parents fucking forgot her birthday. This, naturally, gets Ginger and Dodie real heated, so they drag Macie out of the house and over to the office of the Drs. Lightfoot to confront them. Then, Ginger interrupts their session like she’s storming the damn Bastille, because you can always count on her righteous indignation to get shit done. 

Upon realizing their neglectful-ass parenting, the Drs. Lightfoot proceed to overcompensate for basically ignoring their only damn child for years by going for full-speed infantilization. They watch her sleep, put her in onesies, buy her a swing set and jungle gym. Macie’s enjoying it a little too much, though, even letting them plan a make-up birthday party at a petting zoo. On one hand, it’s great that they acknowledge her existence, but it’s also super horrifying to realize what they consider their last save point was. 

When Ginger decides to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with Macie about the pre-K of it all, Macie basically tells her to stay in her damn lane and storms off. Ginger, naturally, does no such thing, so even after a talk with the always-wise Lois, she decides that she’s gonna do as much damage control as possible since she can’t stop the party from happening. This, of course, is unnecessary because Courtney and Miranda decide it falls squarely in So Bad It’s Good territory.

Meanwhile, the boys go on a school field trip to see a naked mole rat, live and in-person. When Carl gets the chance to hold one, he drops it, freaking everyone else out. When it crawls up his pant leg, he unexpectedly loses his shit until he manages to fling it across the room. Of course, he plays it off like he wasn’t terrified, but it’s clear that he was shook. Carl won’t admit that to Hoodsey until later on after Blake calls him on it, and from there, things just slide into paranoia. Fortunately, Carl pulls himself out of it when he tries to barricade himself and Hoodsey in the doghouse, and they decide to redeem themselves by catching it. 

Spot the Clique

Donna and Dinah are sitting next to each other in the opening scene, and we see Casey in the front row later on with the clique-adjacent Mye Zuckerberg. 

Casey, Tracey(not Lefferts), Dinah, and Lonnie are at Mipsy’s party. 

Hope is spotted in the hallway as Dodie hands out invites to Macie’s party. 

Tracey (again, not Lefferts) is also at Macie’s party. 

Courtneyisms

Only Courtney would insist on her and Miranda doing a duet of “It’s Courtney” (the song from her talent show production) at Mipsy’s birthday party. Even on someone else’s birthday, she needs to be the center of attention for at least three minutes. 

Gingerisms

(At the office) “Macie, just go ask that nice, pointy woman if you can please speak to your parents.”

One can only hope that Ginger realizes that she treats Macie like a child, but in a different way than the Drs.Lightfoot do. Her unsolicited helpfulness takes the form of overprotection when Macie’s involved. (see also the Little Seal Girl episode)

The Dodie Desperation Index

Dodie is actually behaving herself in this episode, except for when the girls get to the office and she tries to dip out. 

Miranda’s Malice

The sheer deadpan of it all when she has to sing is hilarious, because it’s basically a law(that I just made up) that if your voice actor can sing, so can your character. Cree Summer can sing, therefore Miranda can sing. I’ll even take it one step further and say that the Cree Summer version of the OP is how Miranda probably sounds when she sings. 

(At Macie’s party) “Oh, it looks like a four-year-old threw up decorations everywhere.”

“Who would have thought Little Miss Adenoids would come up with something so retro that it’s almost cutting edge?” 

(Comforting Courtney) “Let’s go make nice with those innocent baby ducks again." *grumbles* “That should take your mind off yourself.”

There’s Something About Macie

“Hearing my name in public ranks right up there with cheese bloat.” Me too, sis. Me too. 

Is this the first episode we see Macie’s Asian-themed bedroom? I’m into the sunken, kidney-shaped bed.

Boys and their Toys

Hoodsey: Chaps. Gents. It really gets on my nerves when he’s not consistent. 

Hoodsey again: Cripes, Blake, it was a gag. As in “You make me wanna...”

So, in their quest to conquer their fear, the boys track the escaped mole rat. At one point, Carl picks up and examines its poop. 

Also, Hoodsey has been so terrified that the mole rat might be in the sewers that he hasn’t pooped in days, if not weeks. 

Continuity

April 22nd is on a Sunday.

If you listen to Chet’s birthday announcement dronings at the beginning of the episode, you’ll notice that there are two kids turning 12 in April. This is the first indication that there are 6th graders at Lucky Jr. High. 

This is clearly a 7th grade episode that landed in Season 2 for some reason. Chronologically, this would go somewhere near the end of Season 1 before Camp Caprice. 

The episode pretty much covers the entire month of April, because we started with the month’s birthday announcements, and ended the weekend after Macie’s birthday, if not the weekend after that.

Trivial Things

Macie and Mipsy share a birthday, April 22nd, making them both Tauruses. 

Macie is actually the oldest of the three girls. This tells us that Dodie and Ginger have birthdays between April 23 and October 1(to meet the school cut off date for enrollment)

Ginger wanted to make a cake for Macie’s birthday. Lois said she just bought soy flour, as if they’d just run out. I now want to know why they keep soy flour in their house on the regular. Is Macie gluten-intolerant? FODMAP-intolerant? Does she have Celiac disease? Do they keep it for her or do they use it themselves, too? 

The brown girl in the green glasses is named Serena, in case you see her in other episodes.