brandshei

[brandshei]

Picture it:

You’re a 27 year old who busted your ass in law school.  Long hours, late nights.  Three years of studying and stress, memorizing rules and analyzing cases - half of it through the hell of virtual learning.

But you did it.  Graduated near the top of your class.  Now you’re off to clerk for a powerful, respected judge who, if all goes well, is going to help you launch your career.  The future is bright.

You show up for your first day in chambers.  After getting the orientation - meeting your co-clerks, learning how to navigate the maze of the courthouse, getting all your security credentials in order, trying not to be too visibly intimidated by your new boss - you sit down at your desk.  You click open the case file for your first assignment.  The caption: CW Network, LLC v. Tumblr, Inc.

You skim the complaint and slowly realize the true nature of your first project:

You have to explain Destiel porn to your judge.

someone please get sued for monetizing destiel smut so lawyers have to read from it in front of an entire room

[brandshei]

I take a 5 minute break from studying for the bar, log on to tumblr for the first time in months, and this is what I get smdh

(But really - the joy isn’t in imagining attorneys in suits reading spn fic at some motion hearing.  It’s imaging the clerks and associates who are going to need to explain it to their bosses.)

someone please get sued for monetizing destiel smut so lawyers have to read from it in front of an entire room

[brandshei]

getting to know you

[brandshei]

‘Ildari? – Oh! Headstrong lass, that one, just like Neloth. – Her lust for power was her undoing. – Neloth did some experiment on her; it didn’t work, it didn’t; we buried her out back; that was, what, twenty years ago, now?’

Her interlocutor staring, as if it were said too simply: couldn’t believe she spoke of a death like that, a horrific, tragic death, even if it were twenty years ago – an experiment gone wrong, which now haunted them so literally, but not beyond that – could not be possible, it was easy living memory! Her interlocutor staring: asking, from a soldierly mask, where this cemetery might be. – ‘Out back, and down the cliffside: there’s a little path to it, be careful.’ – Elynea returning her stare until she was gone: yes, she wanted to say, yes, it was that simple, it was long ago, I do not remember the details.

I do not remember the details, because I have not wanted to, because I can’t. What I remember would be of no use to you.

Ildari, just like Neloth: thought she knew what she wanted, thought she knew where she was going. A novelty to Elynea, who had never known where she was going, had at last come not to care, things never worked out how you hoped anyway. Ildari had thought she knew what she wanted. Immense power, towering knowledge, and a vastly expanded lifespan, for the first two are rarely got in a normal one. Ildari, just like Neloth! Elynea hadn’t liked her much; stayed out of her way; didn’t understand her, or Neloth, only her mushrooms. 

‘I don’t remember the details,’ she’d said to Talvas, as well, years ago: ‘only that it was… messy.’

And to the asking visitor, Talvas had said: ‘I heard it was messy.’ Quite naively. Talvas had not been there. 

Just as well he had not. Had not heard Neloth’s shouts for a cloth, for two cloths, a pail of water; nor heard the steward’s stifled yells, when she brought them. Had not seen everyone descend upon the happenings, with morbid curiosity; something had gone wrong, but who knew what? Something had gone wrong: but nobody, save Neloth, save Ildari, had known what was right; and what they thought was right, was twisted beyond comprehension. 

Talvas had not been there, and nor had the visitor. Could not see, still, Ildari awaken in the midst of it all, that final convulsion; had not seen the flurry, the confusion; the steward trying to help, the cook trying to flee; Elynea swaying, Elynea not comprehending. Elynea trying to piece it together, even as the scene fell apart: even as Neloth threw down a bloodied knife, even as Ildari’s fist clenched, and fell; even as Tel Mithryn was thrown into despair, and unease, and a deep and final silence. 

Talvas had not been there, and nor had the visitor, at the funeral. Neloth had prepared the body. Like he didn’t want them to see. Said it had been Ildari’s idea. Said it had gone wrong. Said that he had not thought it would, that he had made a mistake, that he would work on it. Did not say what it was, only that she had aspired to power, and immortality, and that the quickness of her ambition had been her undoing.

‘Her lust for power was her undoing,’ said Elynea, thinking she believed it; wondering if it were true. If Neloth, too, would one day be undone. If it would be so horrible as all that, if he should come to grief, and those about him be thrown into such turbulent confusion as had haunted her.

As still haunted her: as had haunted them all, save Neloth. Ildari had come back to haunt him, because he had not been haunted as he should. And now the storm was unleashed, could not be hidden; yet Elynea still could not speak it, settled for I do not know the details. Because she didn’t, because she still didn’t know. A protection, she supposed. I do not know the details, protecting I do not want to know the details: and she would settle for it. It had been so long! – and she was still here, protecting herself for want of better; – twenty years!…

[brandshei]

new turtle dropped on its head

[brandshei]

Boil up some mountain dew.  It’s gonna be a long night.

[brandshei]

you cant make people in your a/b/o fics say jesus christ without leaving the implication that jesus christ was some form of a/b/o

[brandshei]

I just learned that my voter protection team has identified nearly 70 voters in a swing state whose absentee ballots wouldn’t have been counted due to errors (lack of signature etc.), but who will now be contacted and given a chance to fix the problem!

The world sucks and its easy to be paralyzed, but I promise it helps to even just spent a couple hours working to make things better.

(under the cut: some links to groups that are looking for volunteers in the final days of this election)

Phone Banking!  States need GOTV phone bankers! Sign up here:

Swing Left, for phone banking in all Super States: https://swingleft.org/take-action?mode=live_only&categories=PHONE_BANK&s=u

2020Victory Phone Banking events: https://www.mobilize.us/2020victory/

Knock for Democracy, GA Election Day phone banking: https://app.knockfordemocracy.org/events

Text Banking!  If making phone calls is overwhelming, you can also text bank! Sign up here:

https://www.mobilize.us/nextgen/?event_type=3

Voter Protection Hotlines!  Protect the right to vote:

Biden campaign: https://joebiden.com/take-action/ (through this link you can also phone bank, canvass, and volunteer for in person voter protection opportunities).

Lawyer/law student focused Election Day voter protection hotline: https://electionprotection.wetheaction.org/

Election Day Voter Suppression hotline: https://protectthevote.net/

[brandshei]

My Gmail “social” tab is the most chaotic experience.  Two things end up there: notifications from Ao3 and LinkedIn.

When I see that there is something new there, it is either going to be 1) someone leaving kudos on my old Star Wars threesome porn, or 2) a soon-to-be attorney asking to add me to their professional network.

There is no in-between.

[brandshei]

why you should watch lindsay ellis’s “into the omegaverse: how a fanfic trope landed in federal court”: 

she has to explain a/b/o to her audience 

she managed to get TWELVE other youtubers to voice act for reenactments, including hbomberguy, jenny nicholson, todd in the shadows, sarah z, princess weekes, and an entire legality segment with legaleagle 

every time she has to explain knotting she just blows up a balloon that, unfortunately, has sonic the hedgehog on it,

she says the word “superwholock” about four and a half minutes in 

absolutely insane amounts of legal fights over het a/b/o including perjury

within the first 24 hours after upload lindsay was already sued for it 

[brandshei]

callout post for neloth

telvanni

[brandshei]

#shalidor (via @jiubilant​)

Women go to college to get more knowledge

Men go to my torture maze to atone

[brandshei]

if you’re looking for permission to let go of that thing that’s been weighing you down - this is it.  this is your sign.  be free.

[brandshei]

“the mod that replaces the statue of Talos with Lenin” I’m sorry I just saw that and that’s HILARIOUS and I need it immediately omfg

Here you are comrade ;) : SSE, Skyrim

[brandshei]

colored a sketch i did for my hero of kvatch!

[brandshei]

The charge

[brandshei]

the omegaverse lawsuit was dismissed because the plaintiffs disappeared, I’m so disappointed

I wanted nothing more in life than for some crotchety old EDVA judge to have to write an opinion on the IP status weird werewolf-y porn

can’t have shit in 2020