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2014: The hair of the Boypolar

As all of my real friends know, I'm really fickle when it comes to my hair. One day I want this hairstyle, next day I want that. I'm that impulsive.

I do not believe in the saying that "One gets a haircut 'coz they are heartbroken". Bitch please. We have the right to get a haircut whenever we want to. And FYI, getting a haircut is relaxing.

'Nuff with this and here's a wrap-up of what I did to my hair for the past year:

I welcomed 2014 with this classic short black hair. I call this as the "Boypolar Default". When I don't know what to do with my hair or I just got tired of my current hair, I go for this look. It's simple and easy to style.

I already had this done back in 2013. It's one of my favorites. But this time, it was after a bad breakup. LOL. I did this 'coz my ex hated this 'do. I just wanted to annoy him. :))

Ahhh. This one. One of the boldest hair colors that I've done. Blue. As I've told you, I'm impulsive with my hair. When I want it, I'll have it done.

After of more than a month with my blue hair, I've gone back to black. But this time with a pompadour do.

Once again, I got tired with my hair and I just shaved my head. LOL.

When my hair started growing again, I had cut to make it look decent and easy to style.

Back to the "Boypolar Default".

Oh yussss. My Miley Virus hair. LOL. Another impulsive move. But I loved it. I PULLED THIS OFF. #werq

THIS ONE! MY FAVORITE!!! My fiery-avant garde hair. This one really suits my personality.

And I capped 2014 off still with a fiery hair. But with a toned down version.

So there you have it. My hair for the past year. What's in store for my hair this 2015? I just had a haircut earlier. It's just a simple undercut. Nothing much. I'm planning to grow my hair and not having a haircut for the whole year. But who knows? ;)

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I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania! ;)

Frank N. Furter of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D

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Bilog

Bilog.
 Ang bilog ay nakalalasing dahil ito ay paikot-ikot.
 Parang ikaw. Parang ako. Paikot-ikot.
 Hindi ko masabing “tayo.”

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Sulyap

Pinaghandaan namin ito ng todo. Lalo na ako. Bida ako sa dulang ito eh.

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Mahal Kita.

“Salamat.

  Sa totoo lang,

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.

Sana huwag kang masaktan.

  Naiintindihan kita.

Matagal na rin naman tayong magkaibigan.

Hindi ko lang alam kung bakit mo nararamdaman ‘yan.

  Maaari mo sa aking sabihin.

Makikinig ako.

Pero ako muna ang pakinggan mo.

  Hindi talaga pwede.

Alam mo ‘yan.

Ibang klase ng pagmamahal ang nararamdaman ko tungo sa’yo.

  Siguro nami-misinterpret mo yung mga ginagawa ko.

Yung pag-trato ko sa’yo bilang kaibigan.

Masyado lang siguro akong naging mabait.

Hindi ko sinasadya na nabigyan mo ng ibang kahulugan.

  Sabi ko nga, naiintindihan kita.

Huwag kang mag-alala.

Hindi mag-iiba ang tingin ko sa’yo.

Hindi ako mao-awkward.

  Magkaibigan pa rin naman tayo eh.

Masaya ako kasi kaibigan kita.

Napapangiti at napapatawa mo ako.

Ang saya ng mga kuwentuhan natin.

Nariyan ka kapag kailangan kita.

  Hindi rin ako galit.

Ano ka ba?

Nagpapasalamat nga ako kasi naging totoo ka.

Mabuti nga at may tapang ka na sabihin sa akin ‘yan.

At least malalaman mo rin yung nararamdaman ko.

  Pero sorry talaga kung hindi ko maibabalik ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman mo.

Sana maintindihan mo rin ako.”

  ---

  Ayos na ito.

Ibibigay ko sa kanya ito nang nakasulat.

Sa isang papel na nakatiklop.

  Matapos ay aamin ako ng nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

Saka ko sa kanya ipapabasa nang malakas,

Kaharap ko, ang laman ng papel na iyun.

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Pagbilang Papunta sa Kawalan

Una. Pwede bang wala na lang akong maramdaman?

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JV and Thea's pre-nup photoshoot.

Stylist/hair and make-up: Jay Quidlat Photos and post processing: Gian Cabuena

More photos on https://www.facebook.com/realboypolar/­media_set?set=a.1419421941666173.10737418­34.100007951424083&type=3&uploaded=43

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Outbreak Missions: Left 4 Dead with no weapons

Finally. I was able to join an Outbreak event. Was always planning to attend previous outbreaks but certain circumstances won't allow me to do so. So when I had the chance, I grabbed it immediately. Being a fan of zombie themed movies, tv series and games I was really excited to be a part of Outbreak Missions. Unlike previous Outbreaks, it is not a just a fun run anymore. You have a mission to accomplish. We have to find Dr. Alfonso Adarna and get the "CURE" from him.

  AND SO IT BEGINS

Kathy (my companion and my girlfriend) and I weren't really prepared for the event. Heck, I was wearing a shirt, jeans and my boots. Kathy has a dress and flats on her. But we don't care. It made the experience more realistic. You can never know when an outbreak will happen. So wearing daily clothes while doing outbreak is more of a challenge. We went there, met with Jude and Karlo (my college classmates) alongside with their cousins so we could be in a group. We were advised to form a group of 10. It was a reasonable advise since who would want to go through a zombie mission alone? Then the mission started. We were given instructions and was told about the specific mission. Find Dr. Alfonso Adarna, get the cure from him and make it to the finish line, ALIVE. Yeah. You could die in the middle of the mission. we were each given three flags. It represents our health. It's just like the one in the games. So yeah. Before we started we huddled up first as a team then we bravely went into the walls to begin the mission.

FIRST RUN

I was really excited but at the same time nervous as well. I treated the zombies as if they were real to make the experience even more exciting. Which I think is bad for me because I panic a lot. I remember when I was still playing Left 4 Dead. I am the noisiest of our group. HAHAHA! Anyways the first run was already hell for me. A whole street, approximately 300 meters was infested with zombies. I wasn't prepared! Really? This early? But I had no choice. Yet. So I ran as fast as I could but I REALLY GOT SCARED AND INTIMIDATED BY THE ZOMBIES. So I stopped at one point. Little did I know there was already two zombies after me. FVCK! I tried to run from them but one got one of my health flags. Sad. That early I already lost a life. WTF man?! HAHA! So... After that sprint, we were briefed to be careful of THE BROTHERHOOD. The Rebels told us that The Brotherhood are the bad guys. They told us not to trust the other camp. When go up the walls, we should not make any suspicious movements or else, they might get a health flag from us. so we acted cool. We walked above the walls of Intramuros. Met a couple of Non Playing Characters along the way then we bumped on to an another zombie infested area. We must avoid the light so the zombies couldn't 'bite' us. Once again, I was left behind 'coz again I panicked. I'm such a pussy. HAHAHA! I even tried to hide behind one of the photographer so the zombies won't notice me. THE PLAN WORKED! BWAHAHAHA! Imade it through that specific course without getting bit. By that time, I was out of breathe already. The running and the long distance  walking on the uneven Intramuros path was really tiring. We were longing for a water station. Soon enough there was a a checkpoint. the water station.

  THE BROTHERHOOD

Afterwards me met The Brotherhood. The supposed to be bad guys of the mission. They told us that they are really the good guys here. They will be using the cure to control the zombies. They told us the we will have better chances of survival if we control them rather than cure them. I believed them. Not just because there are a lot of hot boys in their team. HAHA! But because in a writer's point of view I knew that there is something fishy with the rebels and Dra Vera Adarna. And if ever they are the bad guys, fine! I love the bad guys. They are hot bad guys. I wanna be with them! HAHAHA! Our team huddled up. balanced everything then we decided to go with the brotherhood. After a long walk, we finally went down the walls. As soon as we went down, a couple of cute guys from the brotherhood met us to give instructions. They told us the next course will be again zombie infested. But they will help us. We should just follow the red light because they said that the zombies will avoid us if we are in that red light. As our team ventured into that specific course we ran as fast as we could. THE LIGHT WAS MOVING SO FAST!!! Gosh. And also other teams came with us. Ugh. But then, the lights went off. Everyone went crazy! Someone even bumped me on my chest. I had difficulty in breathing after that so I sat down for a while to rest and catch my breathe. Maybe after 10 minutes we continued with the mission. Another long walk inside Intramuros. I loved those moments. I really appreciated the beauty of Intramuros at night. Though a little bit creepy. IT IS MAGNIFICENT! Oh. Moving on...

  MORE ZOMBIES!

As we were walking we noticed a group going back. Shit. Something bad's gonna happen here! They told us that there is a horde of zombies waiting ahead. It's a long run that's why they went back first to go through with it with a lot of people so it will be hard for the zombies to catch. Fvck! I believe that was four blocks. The adrenaline was UGH! It was really like I was running for my life! Scary zombies. After that run, I only had one life. it's because one of the runners, got it from me. Desperate much? No. He wasn't a zombie. Gahd. I went to the marshalls and told them what happened but I couldn't find the person who took my flag. So. Yeah. Sad life. Hope he gets bitten by a real zombie. By then, I only had one life left.

  LAST MISSION

Infront of the church, there were NPCs from the rebels waiting for us. They gave us instructions to find Dr Alfonso adarna. Gave us directions on how to get there then off we go! Infront of Fort Santiago was a drunk Dr Alfonso Adarna. He told us to find three ingredients in a specific area. He also told us the those ingredients will be used for the cure. But here's the catch. If we will ide with the brotherhood, we only need three ingredients. If with the rebels, there’s a 4th ingredient waiting for us outside the fort. He also told us not to believe Dra Vera, his wife. He told us she cheated on him with Capt Guerrero. The one who gave us instructions at the beginning of the mission. Hmmm. But he also told us that it is our choice on who will we help. We huddled as a group and decided that we will stick with the brotherhood. We came up with this theory that maybe the 4th ingredient is us. Maybe we will be experimented by theses rebels. So got into the area and find these ingredients. It is another zombie infested area so it was kinda hard. But we got to meet zombie hitler! HAHAHA! After we found those ingredients we went out of the fort and there was a long line waiting for us. It’s an opportunity for us to catch our breathe. After about 20 minutes, we continued with the missions. An NPC told us that we need to make a choice. One of the paths will lead to the brotherhood. It is just a straight walk and we just have to bring them the ingredients. The other path is in a dungeon, there are deaf zombies in there but they have an enhanced vision. So sudden movements might make them take your life. Our team couldn’t decide on what path to take so we just played heads or tails. But for me, I am with the brotherhood. I trust them. Not just that there are a lot of hot guys there but there’s really something suspicious with the rebels. So we tossed the coin but unfortunately, it was heads. It represented the rebels. So we fell in line since a lot of the runners chose the rebels path. We went inside carefully bus as soon as we got in we were having second thoughts. Something really was suspicious in there. The 4th ingredient which was the ingredient Z is like, I dunno maybe like chemical X? Maybe it’s a 4th unnecessary/”pilit” ingredient? So we went back. We decided that we will take the road less taken. Other runners were wondering why we came back. So there. We just walked ‘til we get to the hideout of the brotherhood. We gave them the ingredients. They mixed it and tested it on the zombies. We were scared at first. Coz after they dropped the medicine on the undead, they took of their chains. The zombies immediately went for us! We ran but one of the brotherhood yelled “STOP!”. The zombies really stopped. AMAZING! So they really could control the zombies with the medicine. And then after that, they told us… MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! WOOHOO!!!

POST MISSION

Since we finished the mission and all of us in our team had at least one life left we got to receive the survivor dogtag! Yey! It’s a symbol of our survival throughout the mission. By that time we were all really tired. I just wanna lay down on my bed and sleep. HAHA! But it was fun! Another unforgettable experience. Actually, I can’t wait for the next mission. I wonder what will happen next with the story. Hmmm. After that we got our souvenir items, our bags from the baggage counter and we went home. Oh wait! I saw my crush from the Brotherhood so I asked Kathy to take a picture of us! SHET! He really is cute. And hot. Ugh! HAHAHA! I hope I get to see him again on the next Outbreak. So there it is.

  I SURVIVED THE OUTBREAK IN THE WALLED CITY OF INTRAMUROS! YEAH!

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Painful yet best Valentines Day ever.

The title says it all. Here's what happened:

February 13, 2014.

Pay day. Before going home, le boyfriend and I went to Cubao 'coz he will buy J.Co Doughnuts for his fam. So I accompanied him. We ate breakfast first at Taco Bell then we went to J.Co. As soon as we got to J.Co, my tummy started to ache. I got scared. Last time my tummy was in pain like that was when I was in highschool. He told me to spend the day in their home instead of me going home alone in Paranaque. I really was super in pain. We dropped by at Mercury to buy meds before we took a cab. When we were near SM San Lazaro, the pain subsided. We decided to drop at SM first to buy some stuff since I was feeling better. I also decided to get my haircut since my hair was messy already and it is hard to maintain. The boyfriend liked my haircut so he got his too. After that we went home then my tummy started to be in pain again as soon as I laid on his bed.

We woke up at around 5pm. Since I was feeling better, I decided to watch Cypher. It is the annual dance competition of the different majors of UST Faculty of Arts and Letters. We ate dinner (I only had soup) then we went off to UST. Nearing SM San Lazaro, I wasn't feeling well again. I wanted to puke. So we got off the jeepney and I vomited on the street (YUCK!). We still went to UST 'coz I really wanted to watch CYPHER. Got to only watch the first two perfs (Journ and CA. GO CA! WOOOO! Congrats CASA Footworks! Back to back champs!) 'coz again, my tummy was in pain again. And this time, it is super in pain. As in. I couldn't stand up properly anymore. We were supposed to go to work that time. It was around 8pm. Our shift starts at 11pm. Since I really can't stand the pain, we went to UERM and my boyfriend brought me to the emergency room there.

The rest was history. I am so thankful because Jim didn't leave though we had work. He sacrificed to be absent just to be with me. He was there by my side the whole time. We welcomed Valentines Day at the emergency room. After almost ten hours of medication, the doctors gave me the thums up to go home. Thank God for Medical insurance I only paid a couple of thousand pesos. Oh well. That's life. At least I'm ok now and I know that no matter happens, there is someone who will always be there for me. I LOVE YOU JIM PAOLO S. CRUZ! HERE'S TO FOREVER! <3 :*

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01/28/2014

Day off ko from work. Wala akong magawa. Since hari ako ng impulsive decisions, naisipan kong bigla mag-audition for a segment ng isang noontime show. Eh di go ako.

3-6pm yung audition time. From south, fly ako to north. Effort! Traffic pa. Jusko! So ayun. Dumating ako doon at around 4:30pm. Pagdating ko, tapos na pala. Callbacks na ang ganap. Shit! Nakakafrustrate! All of my efforts and time were wasted. Hay. Di ko na alam. After nun, naisipan ko na lang na umuwi na.

MRT Q Ave station. Nagche-check ako ng IG. Nakita ko post ng baby ko. Mukhang may problema yata. Tinawagan ko agad. Masama daw pakiramdam niya. Masakit buong katawan. Pinapapunta ako sa bahay nila. Matitiis ko ba? Siyempre fly na naman ako. Lipad papuntang Blumentritt! Tanga ko pa nga eh. Nag-cubao ako then Recto sa Blumentritt. Pwede naman yung North Ave tapos yung sa LRT 1. Eh basta. At least nakarating ako sa kanila.

Una niya akong pinakilala sa pinsan niya. Si cousin naman tanong agad kung gaano na kami katagal. Sabi ko di pa kami. Sweet ko naman daw, pumunta ako doon para kay Jim kahit di pa kami. Eh ganun talaga. Hahaha! Anyways, sumingit itong si Jim. Sabi niya “Ngayon pa lang kami.” Natigilan ako. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Sabi ko, “Hindi nga?” Tapos niyakap niya ako. Bumulong ng I love you. Then he looked into my eyes and told me he is thankful for me being always right beside him.

Ang saya ko. Sobra. Pagbigyan niyo na si Boypolar™. Inlab eh. Haha! Di man natuloy ang plano ko sa araw na yun, may ibang bagay na na nakaplano nang mangyari. And it was better. ❤

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With the love of my life. ❤

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WICKED WAS WICKEDLY AWESOME AND AMAZING!!! WOW. JUST WOW!!! WOOOO! GRABE. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (at Cultural Center Of The Philippines)

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Diretso't Walang Tigil

Nakapiring. Naglalakad. Lakad. Lakad. Lakad. Walang katapusang paglalakad. Hinayaan ko na lang. Bahala na.

Mabangga man. Mauntog man. Masaktan man. Wala akong pakialam. Gusto ko ito. Hayaan niyo ako. Dito ako masaya.

Matagal-tagal na din akong naglalakad. Hindi ko din alam kung saan ba ako mapupunta nito. Malapit na akong mapagod.

Tatanggalin ko na ba ang telang nakatakip sa aking mga mata? Hindi. Kaya pa. Kaya pa yan. Lakad lang ulit. Tuloy-tuloy.

Hindi ko namalayan. Papalapit na pala sa isang bangin. Isang hakbang. Ako'y nalaglag. Hinayaan ko lang. Wala na talaga akong pakialam. Bahala na talaga.

Akala ko katapusan ko na.

Nagulat ako at hindi lupa ang binagsakan ko.

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With no sleep, me and my team stood on the roof of an underpass, for about 10hours, to witness and cover the Feast of Nazareno procession for our broadcast journalism class last year. It was an unforgettable experience. #throwbackthursday

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Something I've been working on for my new play. :3

Lalaki: Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Ito na lang tanging paraan para matapos ang lahat. Paalam.

(Itututok ni Lalaki ang baril sa kanyang ulo. Mamatay ang ilaw sa entablaso. May maririnig na putok ng baril. Maririnig ang malakas na palakpakan. Magbubukas muli ang ilaw sa entablado. Nakahiga at duguan pa rin si Lalaki. Hindi pa rin tumatayo. Papasok sa entablado ang iba pang artista kasama ang direktor at manunulat. Maririnig ang mas malakas na palakpakan na may kasamang hiyaw. Kita ang pagtataka sa mga mukha ng mga nasa entablado. Lalapitan ng direktor ang katawan ni Lalaki. Pilit na gigisingin. Unti unting humihina ang tunog ng palakpakan kasabay ang unti unting pagdilim ng ilaw.)

TELON.

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Iligtas mo ako.

Narito ako. Nag-iisa. Nalilito. Aligaga.

Nasaan ka na ba? Kailangan na kita. Ang tagal ko nang naghihintay.

Naiinip na ako. Wala akong magawa. Kain ako nang kain. Nakakasawa na.

Kumakain pa rin ako kahit di naman kailangan. Ang hirap pigilan. Sagipin mo na ako. Parang awa mo na.

Ayaw ko na talaga. Iligtas mo na ako. Parang awa mo na. Malapit na akong sumuko.

Lagi na lang bang ganito? Hindi ko na talaga kaya. May hinihintay pa ba ako? Hihintayin pa ba kita?

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The BOYPOLAR is back.

I'm kinda back. Huehue. Not active here for several months already. But I will be trying to update this every now and then. Will post some of my new compositions and excerpts from my new written plays soon. And of course some of my photos. Happy New Year! :D