booksandaxes

[booksandaxes]

Gentlemen Bastards? Why, that's a funny name for Jean Tannen's Daycare.

...For one singular person.

[booksandaxes]

If you heard of writer's block, get ready for reader's block. You want to read. You have time. You know what to read; how have a pile of books ready to be read. You cannot sit still and focus enough to do so or you can't even open the book.

[booksandaxes]

If you're not getting randomly depressed over what occured in Teeth Lessons than where the fuck you aaaAAAAaaaaaAAAAt?

[booksandaxes]

And replace what he stole with a carefully planned out phony replica to buy himself more time because he's THAT extra.

Locke Lamora would steal the Declaration of Independence

[booksandaxes]

How every plot goes:

Locke: "There are only four rules you need to remember: Make the plan, execute the plan—"

Jean, cutting in: "—Expect the plan to go off the raaaails..."

Locke, not missing a beat: "Throw away the plan."

[booksandaxes]

"Sir, that is my emotional support dumbass."

-Jean Tannen about Locke Lamora, probably

[booksandaxes]

More "Jean is the only responsible friend" memes? Oh, you betcha.

[booksandaxes]

Mr. Lynch, sir... please...

[booksandaxes]

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"Well, if you look at that! If it isn't the consequences to my own actions."

- Locke Lamora, most definitely

[booksandaxes]

Locke: Crossbow or knife? I mean, you'd have a better chance fighting me with a sword. But than again, I'm not much of a fighter.

Nazca: I only engage in sword combat with hot ladies and nonbinary folks with which I have a romantically charged rivalry. You fit none of these categories.

Jean: Guys, we're in a restaurant—

@jeremiahthefroge

[booksandaxes]

Sabetha: Who the fuck added me to the fucking groupchat?

Jean: >:O Langauge!

Bug: Yeah, watch your fucking language!

Locke: OKAY WHO TAUGHT BUG THE FUCK WORD??

Calo: 'The fuck word'.

Jean: Are you stupid?? You guys use the f-word all the time.

Galdo: Oh my thirteenth he censored it.

Calo: Say fuck, Jean.

Bug: Do it, Jean. Say fuck.

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Locke: Please come home with PURIFIED water with NO MINERALS added for taste.

Galdo: We got spring water!

Locke: NO.

Calo: With EXTRA minerals!

Galdo: It's like licking a stick of stalagmite!

Locke: DON'T COME HOME.

Calo: Mmmmmmm cave water!

[booksandaxes]

Locke: I told Sabetha that her ears flush when she lies.

Jean: Why?

Locke: Here, watch.

Locke: Hey, Sabetha, do you love us?

Sabetha, covering her ears: No.

Jean:

[booksandaxes]

Locke: "Jean, I have a wonderful, fantastic idea—"

Jean: "Does it involve me risking my life?"

Locke: "..I have a wonderful idea—"

Jean: "Mmm. Does it involve real and immediate danger?"

Locke: "..I have an idea."

Jean: ...

Jean: "Great! When and where?"