bolts-n-brainwaves - Tumblr blog

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I've found that I actually really enjoy drawin' on whiteboard apps . Somethin' about it is just very enjoyable . Have some more doodles from earlier !

Primary Timeline Doodles (☀️)

Secondary Timeline Doodles (🌑)

Miscellaneous Doodles (💚)

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Quick phone doodle cause I keep thinking about them

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I’m going insane

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Have a doodle dump from the last few days ! :]

— Primary Timeline Doodles (☀️)

— Secondary Timeline Doodles (🌑)

— Whiteboard Doodles W/ Friends (💚)

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fiddauthor doodles bwah

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he wants that cookie so effing bad

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fiddleford blast GO‼️

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I ain't rightly sure who needs t'hear it but ... if y'do .

✋ Stanford: I never blamed you for what happened . Did'ja mess up ? Was I mad and hurt ? Of course . But regardless of that, I never blamed you . I kinda get it, I think ? That thought process, wantin' to be seen 'n appreciated ? I'm sorry, for leavin' you in a time of need . I'm sorry for not bein' a better friend .

🦙 Pacifica: You're your own person . The decisions of your blood may have raised you, but y'ain't that alone . You're a bright child, Northwest ... I hope y'know that . I wasn't really anythin' important t'you, but if I can give you a feelin' of self and the idea that someone is thinkin' of ya ? I'll be a happy man . You're a good kid, I'm happy t'have known ya .

🌲/💫 Dipper && Mabel: I'm real proud of y'all . I may have not been as big in your lives as your grunkles were, but I still considered ya part of my family, small thought it may be . I know I was probably frightenin' at first, what with my memory bein' finicky, 'n my erratic behavior ... but I hope y'see me as somewhat fondly as I see y'all .

I ain't much more than a secondary character, but I'm always keepin' y'all in my heart 'n mind .

— Fiddleford " Fidds " Hadron McGucket (🔧 && 🧠)

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[bolts-n-brainwaves]

How do, all ?

I'm Fiddleford McGucket, from Gravity Falls !

I'm reachin' out to look for anyone from the series, though I am keepin' my eye out for the Pines Family specifically as well, since they were somethin' akin to my own family .

'M roughly 20-21 y/o bodily, and I'm lookin' for folks that are 18+, preferably .

I'm happy to reach out to you if you interact with this submission of mine, but you're also welcome to reach me instead at @bolts-n-brainwaves !

I hope to see y'all soon !

— Fiddleford "Fidds" Hadron McGucket (🔧&&🧠)

🐛

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our home in the past, present, and future. 🌲

individual under cut

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Newly kinfirmed Fiddleford here,,

Collectin' all you Stanfords, Stanleys, Dippers, Mabels, Pacificas, etcetc

I miss my family,, even if we weren't blood, y'all were the closest thing I could find, and the best thing I could ask for.

Also contemplating makin' a Gravity Falls kincord , but that's a separate matter for a later day .

Anywhoozles —!!

I love y'all, n' I miss ya ! I hope you feel the same about me,,

— Fiddleford "Fidds" Hadron McGucket (🔧&&🧠)

x

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I made one for my secondary timeline as well . Though I admit it's a bit darker than my original playlist . Feel free to listen to it however, if you should please .

You'll find it here .

Somethin' I've been wantin' to share for a while now is my music playlist,, I think it represents me quite well ! (✨)

» the link should be here !

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[Repost] because the first one flopped hard !

Please show fiddleford some love 🫀

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» 『✎』 — 𝐉ournal Entry 003

CW: Mental health discussion

As I mentioned in this post, my BPD ('n OCD if I think about it) became painfully clear in regards to my relationships, both with myself, and others (mainly Stanford ) .

I felt frequently overwhelmingly alone, 'n I couldn't really place who I was or what I should've been .

Stanford was, and likely still is, my ' favorite person ' , which wasn't great for my relationship with him, but I can't really turn that part of my brain off . I tried to do everythin' I could to appease him, impress him, mirror traits I thought he'd like . If it got me in his good graces, I'd most likely try it . (Note that this was not our entire relationship, but it wasn't a miniscule part either)

After my initial portal incident, my rose colored view of him shattered, and I think it's at that point that I truly began my descent, I began splittin' on him . My black 'n white thinkin' made it hard to remember that for the last 5+ years, we'd been partners, hell ... best friends . Pair that with my feelings for him that I felt were one sided,, I became a mess .

It felt like I'd been utterly abandoned . Felt like once he'd begin buildin' this contraption, once he'd met and truly bonded with that " muse " of his ... like I was no longer needed . I was there for help, but it didn't feel like he turned t'me as a friend anymore . Not only that, but it felt like I mattered even less than that, at least that's the idea I got from how Ford reacted after he pulled me out'ta that damn portal .

Now I ain't the best at handlin' rejection or criticism, stuff like that . I got used to bein' one of the ' gifted kids ' at school, 'n aside from that, my experience with bein' social was,, sorely lackin' . Sure I could masquerade well enough, but that's all it was, a big game of pretend .

Back to my fallin' out with Stanford ...

I had no real way of convincin' myself that what was happenin' both on my end, and on his, was far from the ' norm ' . I lashed out, left the project, left him . If he was goin' t'reject me, I should'a rejected him right back ! I was hurt somethin' fierce, though I didn't know if it was my fault, his, or a mix of both ...

Took me a few days t'cool off after that, but once I did, I felt even worse . I burned the bridge between myself 'n my best friend, because of feelings I couldn't even prove were reality . I didn't even really feel like I could face him after that, I mean, why would he even hear me out, nevermind acceptin' me back ?

Before I knew it, I'd been haunted by that, 'n by what I'd seen . I chose the path of least resistance, I found a way t' forget . I was a psychologist first, and a mechanic second; I put that knowledge t'good use . 'N I started cookin' up the memory gun blueprints .

I wasn't truly in my right mind, by that point . At least, even less than normal .

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Another doodle turned infographic on m'self ! I'm quite proud of this one, actually ... makes me look more like, well, me !

Flag Meanings are below as numbered:

1. Agender Flag 2. Trans Flag 3. AroFlux Flag 4. GrayAce Flag

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Hi! I read through your pinned post but I wanted to make sure. Is it okay for people to DM you? I kin Dipper and would like to say hello if you want sometime! Sorry if this is worded weird I get nervous interacting with other people lol. Hope you’re having a good day!

Well isn't this a delightful surprise !!

'M happy to see ya, Dipper ,, (✨)

As for your inquiry, I'm fine with people messagin' me privately, though I would request that they be 18+ , simply because I'm 20-21 bodily .

You're welcome to message me whenever it suits your fancy !

( Also, I understand the nervousness regarding other people ... I'm the same way, most of the time . )

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» 『✎』 — 𝐉ournal Entry 002

CW: Mental health discussion

I was thinkin' about how my life now compares to my life before, as somethin' of a 'spiritual kin' ...

What I've seemed to piece together is that I was just as neurodivergent before as I am now ,, now I ain't see that as a bad thing, but it does explain quite a few things .

Despite my intense interest / fascination with psychology and the inner workings of the mind, I never really put it together that I might have also been different ?

Some notable things I think I might've had back then based on vague memories and what I do have now would've been,,

OCD - I was very particular about how I wanted or needed things to be, on top of being a bit of a germophobe . Not only that, but I was real obsessive about my morality, how I was perceived, and my relationships .

AuDHD - I was real hard to keep the focus of, 'n on top of that, bein' "normal" was the hardest challenge of them all . I had frequent special interests, on top of spacin' out frequently . I felt like I stood out in a crowd, 'n I could never really connect with people, or understand why they looked at me funny . I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt like this in my family, but even with our similarities, we still butt heads a lot .

BPD - From the experiences I've had so far in this life, as well as the research I've done (ranging from others with BPD, to the DSM-5 qualifications), I do think this one was a key player in my adult life . I couldn't really make or maintain my relationships with people, even if I loved them dearly . It wasn't for a lack of tryin' though ... but when unrecognized and untreated, BPD is definitely a pain in the ass .

I'll go further into my BPD discussion in a later post, however ... based on what I've already got saved in my notepad, it's gonna be a doozy .

If y'all'd like to talk about mental health, psychology, things like that ,, feel free to send somethin' in ! Despite the negativity in my memories and such, I do love discussin' the topic . It still fascinates me, even to this day !