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When I love someone, I always end up putting them into my solar system.

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Turning Rejection into Your Superpower 👑✨

We all know that dealing with rejection can be tough. Whether you've been turned down for a job, a date, or a project, rejection can hurt and mess with your confidence. But what if I told you that rejection could be your superpower? By learning how to deal with rejection effectively, you can use it as a catalyst for personal growth and success.

Bounce Back Stronger:

The first step in turning rejection into your superpower is to embrace resilience. Understand that rejection is not a reflection of your worth as a person. Everyone faces rejection at some point in their lives. What sets you apart is how you bounce back from it. Develop a mindset that sees rejection as a chance to learn and grow. Each rejection is a stepping stone on your path to success.

Analyze and Learn:

When you face rejection, take some time to analyze the situation. Ask yourself what went wrong and what you can learn from the experience. Did you lack certain skills or qualifications? Were there specific areas where you could have improved? By analyzing and learning from your rejections, you can make better decisions moving forward.

Boost Your Confidence:

Rejection can knock your confidence down a few notches. But self confidence is your secret weapon. Remind yourself of your achievements and what makes you awesome. Create a list of your achievements, skills, and qualities that make you unique. The more you believe in yourself, the easier it is to handle rejection.

Set Realistic Goals:

Dream big, but also set goals that are doable. Breaking your ambitions into smaller, achievable steps is like navigating with a map instead of wandering around aimlessly. This approach not only makes your goals more manageable but also increases your chances of success, reducing the likelihood of rejection.

Ask for Feedback:

Don't be afraid to ask for feedback when facing rejection. Constructive criticism is gold. Reach out to those who said no and politely inquire why. Use their feedback as a guide to refine your skills and approach.

Network, Network, Network:

Your network is your net worth. Connect with people who share your interests and dreams. Attend events, join groups, and use social media to build your circle. Networking can open doors you never knew existed.

Be Persistent:

Persistence is your superpower's sidekick. Success takes time, and rejection is just part of the journey. Many well known people faced plenty rejections before achieving their goal. Don't give up. Keep working towards your dreams, and let rejection fuel your determination.

Growth Mindset:

Adopt a growth mindset. Believe that you can develop your skills and intelligence through effort and practice. When you see rejection as a temporary setback instead of a roadblock. It becomes just a bump in the road to your dreams and you'll become more resilient when faced with rejection moving forward.

Rejection is part of the game. How you handle it is what matters. Embrace it, learn from it, and use it as fuel to propel you toward your goals. Success often comes after a series of rejections, but with the right mindset, you'll turn each "no" into a stepping stone to your goals.

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K

A gentle reminder ♡

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Yesterday was easier. Today, yet again, feels heavy. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not a failure; healing just isn't linear and that's okay. It comes and goes in waves, but that doesn't mean it will stay like this forever. It's hard to think it will be okay, but as clichè as it sounds: it will be okay, as long as you do not give up on yourself.

Be kind to your mind. Always.

- Reni

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Someday you will look back and see that the mistakes were just part of the process, part of the story. You don't have to catastrophize to learn. In fact, you may learn better when you're not torturing yourself. Perhaps self-reflection does not have to mean self-flagellation. It is okay and normal to need time to learn.

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25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

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a quick “why is my life so bad” checklist

how’s your sleep schedule

have you eaten or drank anything besides sugar and caffeine

how long have you been sitting in one spot

have you gone out in public recently

have you taken a shower/brushed your teeth/groomed yourself properly

have you spent time doing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen

etc

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Our love is as sweet and intoxicating as an endless glass of wine, the only difference is our love doesn't age well.

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Today you did something that was hard because it was necessary. Well done. Today you chose to not do something hard because you needed to take care of yourself. Well done. Today you had enough energy to do a dozen things on your list. Well done. Today you had enough energy to do one small thing and you did it. Well done. Today you were tired or you were not. Either way well done. Today you are alive and well enough to read this because you know how to keep going even when it is hard but also because you know how to stop pushing when it is necessary. On both counts well done.

January 11, 2016 (via sroloc--elbisivni)

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We can feel any feeling and still be stable and whole.

We can experience any experience and still be stable and whole.

We can encounter all manner of folks and creatures and still be stable and whole.

We can lose things we didn’t realize were vulnerable to loss and still be stable and whole.

We can encounter problems we never could possibly have known to prepare for and still be stable and whole.

Independently of what happens around us, we are stable and whole.

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Wandering in my own thoughts in the cage I built

Longing to live a carefree life

I thought life would get better

But I'm just running around in circles with nowhere to go