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The 25 Best Albums of 2017

the Staff

2017 has been a little bit of a whirlwind year. If we thought that 2016 could get somehow worse in any way, 2017 has topped it. But taking a break from possible nuclear world war III, losing the power of the internet, men being whiny babies because retribution is finally coming for the awful scumbags in Hollywood, and our president cheeto’s tiny, waving hands, music is our savior. Music is universal, music is wondrous, and these artists made that abundantly clear. From collaborations made in heaven to strumming guitars recorded on Iphones, 2017 is diverse, daunting, and yes, oh so good. Throughout the year these albums have stuck with me in one form or another. They’ve come with me to Australia, and to my first solo apartment. They’ve played as I worked my first internship job, and they’ve been the soundtrack to my final senior thesis project. They’ve been with me as I’ve lost love and found it, and they’re with me as I move into my final semester of college. Today I present to you my personal top 25 albums of 2017.

Honorable Mentions:

As a radio host, this list began in 2015 and I only had 3 hours to do the show, so I kick off the list of the albums that would have definitely made a top 50 list, but neither me nor anybody else has that kind of time.

Toro y Moi // Boo Boo

King Krule // Ooz

Lil Yachty // Teenage Emotions (Bring it back)

Gorillaz // Humanz

All of which were absolutely fantastic, but ultimately did not make the list (hey, I’m only human). So, without further ado, from bottom to top:

25. Lil B // Black Ken

So here’s the thing about Lil B. Yes, he is the #basedgod, and yes, I did listen to his hundreds of mixtapes in high school, but one of my favorite things about Brandon McCartney is his undeniable message of improvement. He went on tour in 2009 for a self help book he wrote, which still cracks me up to this day (#staybased). And after 2015’s unforgettable Hoop Life, he went on a bit of a hiatus, coming back with one of the most well-produced, succinct rap albums I’ve heard in a long time, let alone coming from Lil B himself. He takes us through a little bit of the story with “Still Run It” and “DJ Based God”, and yet this album is worlds away from his previous work of drunkenly freestyling over unmastered beats. Slick and jazzy with excellent drops and good flow, Black Ken is unforgettable, coming from one of the most unforgettable rappers out there.

24. Jay Som // Everybody Works

Every so often there is an indie rock album that you hear that you cannot forget any time soon. Alvvays 2014’s Alvvays is in a similar vein, and Everybody Works is the kind of album you can put on, jam out to with gin and orange juice and forget a little bit that everything kinda sucks. And yet, most of these songs are about things sucking, at least in a romantic sense. Many of the songs feature heartbreak (“One More Time Please” and “The Bus Song”). And yet there is also overcoming fear; to go on and perform in front of a crowd, to share your message and have it mean something (“(Bedhead)”). Jay Som is definitely someone to watch over the next few years.

23. Mount Eerie // A Crow Looked At Me

Music is emotional, and this album is the kind of album that reminds me of Joni Mitchell’s Blue, of the sickness and heartbreak and sadness that is human. A Crow Looked At Me was a response to the death of Phil Elverum’s wife, and this loss can literally be felt with every pluck of his guitar strings. From the opening line of the album, that “Death is real”, to the final track of the album, of a tender walk in the woods with his wife, seeing a crow flying over the trees. The crow was an omen, says Elverum, he just wasn’t sure of what it was, and A Crow Looked at Me takes us that place of uncertainty, yes, but ultimately it takes us with Elverum as he returns to the world. It takes us through his loss and into the void to emerge from the other side, human, and not quite sure what’s going to happen next.

22. Alvvays // Antisocialites

Okay yes, I’ve already mentioned Alvvays on this list literally two slots ago but it was because I flipped out so much when this band released this album that I’ve been waiting for for three years. When they first made headlines in 2014, it was from their lead single, an extremely sarcastic anthem of...matrimony. There is no “Marry Me, Archie” on this album, and yet each track is still just as poignantly indie-rock as their debut. “In Undertow”, the first single released on the album, was released about midway through the summer. This song is ultimately about a relationship ending, and just having pulled myself from a similar situation as the narrator, it’s chorus of “there’s no turning, no turning back after what’s been said” struck a chord, as one might say, with me. There is no turning back, but “You find a wave and try to hold on for as long as you can”, says lead singer Molly Rankin, and I can at least hold onto that wave, too.

21. Torres // Three Futures

I saw Mackenzie Scott go on tour for this album, and she showed up on stage wearing a blazer over a sports bra and 5 inch heels. It was pretty intimidating. Scott made my best album list back in 2015 with her incredible release Sprinter, and yet, Three Futures resonated somehow more with me. Perhaps it was the title track’s chorus, singing, “You didn't know I saw three futures / One alone, and one with you / And one with the love I knew I'd choose”. Yes, something may end, but we may emerge from that darkness again and end with something w both want. Also, the music video for “Skim”, the lead single, is something else, and definitely worth a watch.

20. Kesha // Rainbows

This album for me was an anthem. Kesha Sebert has been kind of an icon for middle-school me; “Tik Tok” dropped when I was twelve, and it dominated the music of middle-school dances. And if it wasn’t “Tik Tok”, it was one of the gajillion other top hits. And then I learned that her producer had been sexually harassing her and preventing her from having practically say on any of her artistic releases. And Kesha’s struggle somehow that year became all of our struggles. Kesha fought a long, uphill battle separating away from Kemosabe and Dr. Luke, and this record is a direct response to that. It��s even more fitting then that men are finally getting what’s coming to them. As Kesha sings in one of the singles, “Woman”, “I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright / I don't need a man to be holding me too tight”

19. James McAllister, Bryce Dessner, Nico Muhly, Sufjan Stevens // Planetarium

Okay, yes. This album is long, this album is kinda mostly experimental classical music. It’s a lot of beeps, it’s a lot of boops. But listen though; I still maintain that everything Sufjan Stevens touches is absolute gold; and also, this album is a classical music match made in heaven. I may be just making excuses, but when “Saturn” dropped back in June, I lost my shit. And again after “Mercury” dropped three weeks later. I may be one of the only few people who loved this album, but let me tell you, firstuvall, it’s an album about space, and seconduvall, the transitions from “Kuiper’s Belt” to “Black Hole” to “Saturn” is something remarkable. I know “Jupiter” is a little overblown, but like, let’s be real, “Mercury” makes up for it, following the nearly 15 minute long instrumental “Earth”, ending with Steven’s quiet voice over intimate guitar, singing, “All that I dream / Where do you run, where do you run to? / Now I am messed up”. Yeah, Suffy, I’m a little messed up too.

18. Slowdive // Slowdive

Okay, I didn’t think that I would get into shoegaze this year, but let me tell you, this release changed my mind. I’m sure that the infamous reputation of shoegaze concerts gets out there, but actually going to one and just kind of sitting there mesmerized in the green light, standing without moving as some guy is just staring at his feet as he mostly just changes the pedals on his guitar? I’ll admit that sounds silly, but ho boy is it pretty dope. And Slowdive kind of did the perfect thing you could do: have only a limited catalogue for fans, go on hiatus, keep all the people who actually mattered in the band, and then release a damn good album after ten years. “Star Roving” kinda changed my view on shoegaze; pedals guitars never sounded so good.

17. The National // Sleep Well, Beast

I think the National have yet to release something that isn’t brilliant in every way possible. I’m not intimately familiar with their catalogue, but on a cold evening when I’m working on studying and want to slam my head against the blackboard, the quiet guitars and the deep, soothing voice of Matt Berninger singing about how much more life can suck keeps me going. Like a bunch of other albums on this list it’s once again about heartbreak, this time a marriage falling apart. “Day I Die” has Berninger singing to you, “I don’t need you, I don’t need you”, but his hushed quiet whisper on the last track/title track of the album whispering, “I’ll tell you about it sometime” leading up to this almost weirdly crunchy guitar riff closes out the album leaving you with something of a sort of hope, at least. Which is mostly what the National does -- it’s pretty sad stuff, and yet, somehow, you keep coming back to its brilliance.

16. Sampha // Process

2017’s music scene came in two parts: part one was people we all love releasing really good shit, and then the second part was people I’ve never heard of releasing really good music from absolutely nowhere. Sampha was part two. He had done a bunch of stuff (in re, collaborate with Kanye West) but I had never heard of this guy. Until he released an album centered around his mother’s battle with cancer and ultimate death. The first time I heard “Timmy’s Prayer”, I thought to myself, damn. Quiet music has a good place, and Sampha’s hushed voice over the ambient chords singing “I messed up, ooh / I know now / There's no room for me to play now” reminds me that yeah, I’ve messed up too. The real magic of the song, however, comes from the building of the bridge as Sampha sings with increasing fervor, “I wanna tell you that love comes and goes / That it comes and goes.” We all make mistakes, and sometimes it’s pretty fucking hard, and yet that process can lead to something beautiful, something wondrous.

15. Kelela // Take Me Apart

There is a reason that pop music is changing. For so long it’s been defined by EDM, and finally (finally) it’s shifting -- yes, to r&b. Thank goodness. And this album is the kind of album that reminds me why r&b is so good. Take Me Apart is Kelela’s debut, and you can bet I’m going to be paying attention to her in the next few years. I like to save songs that I really enjoy on a playlist for the season and I had to keep myself from just saving the entire album on the list as each song was equally as brilliant as the song that came before. A transition between to relationships, the album begins with a breakup song, but the brilliance comes from not only the lyrics, but the utterly intoxicating build through the first verse until the beat drops as the chorus begins, Kelela singing, “Couldn't take it back even though you wish I could / If you think I'm going back, you misunderstood.” (”Frontline”) The album takes you through the emotional journey of beginning another relationship however, and ultimately ends with a track of encouragement, that yeah, black women can fuck up the world, too: “There's a place for everyone / Let me remind you, let me remind you.”

14. Arcade Fire // Everything Now

Arcade Fire never does anything lightly. They had a whole fake branding down to the fake website for Reflektor, which ended up being a nearly 70 minute long somewhat-bloated excapade. Then they decided to do disco, and for some reason the critic world decided they didn’t like it. Fuck that. Everything Now was my summer listening album (other than a few more noteworthy albums to come). My coworkers and I blasted the lead single “Everything Now” through the open window of our field sampling van as we took buckets of crabs into the lab, and my friends and I sang the lyrics to “Signs of Life” as we strutted through the streets of Manhattan on our 21st birthday. I don’t even care that Pitchfork tore this album to shreds, if you don’t dance when the chorus of “Looking for signs of life / Looking for signs every night / But there's no signs of life / So we do it again” drops, something is wrong with you.

13. LCD Soundsystem // american dream

I’ll admit, I have never listened to LCD Soundsystem that much. I respected them as one of the more well known rock bands of the indie scene, and I had obviously heard a few of their more popular numbers on college radio (“All My Friends”). When their synthesizer/DJ genius person Gavin Rayna Russom came out as trans, it caught my attention. So when american dream came along, the release after a hiatus (post hiatus albums always get me, in re: Fall Out Boy, Sleater Kinney and obviously Slowdive) I listened to it. And it was a fantastic intro to the band: the long dancy kinda songs (“other voices” and “tonight”) to the even longer anthems (“how do you sleep”) and the even longer experimental EDM songs LCD is so well known for (“pulse v.1”), this album impressed me, and I came back for more. I understood why LCD soundsystem was so acclaimed; their music was damn good, and worth the wait.

12. Migos // C U L T U R E

Donald Glover called “Bad n Boujee” the best rap song he had ever heard. I’m not sure it’s the best I’ve ever heard, but Migos’ Culture was a damn good album. Impressively produced by 18 people and yet the three rappers at the center of the album are never lost. “Bad n Boujee”, the obvious hit from the album and collaboration with Lil Uzi Vert, is pretty relevant in today’s materialism, talking about getting rich and being with women with expensive taste. With lines like “cookin’ up dope in a crockpot” and “I'm young and rich and plus I'm boujee (hey)”, the song is big, and relevant, and addicting. Bourgeois is the new 1%, and if you’re not living it up, then what’s the point of living.

11. Run the Jewels // Run the Jewels 3

Run the Jewels’ first album was a little more of an experimental thrust into the world, and their second album brought the politicism and polarized lyrics we’ve come to know. Their third album takes what has been established and solidifies it into something uniquely theirs: big, bad and in your face; only the lyrics pack a little more punch than you first thought on the first listen. With team-ups with Danny Brown (“Hey Kids (Bumaye)”) to songs that are just RTJ taking it to the next level and keeping it as hype and as loud and as relevant as we’ve come to expect (“Talk To Me” and “Legend Has It”), RTJ3 is excellent, staying with us all the way through 2017 since its release in January. Oh, and if “Pather like a Pather” isn’t featured in Marvel’s Black Panther, they’re doing something really fucking wrong.

10. Vince Staples // big fish theory

When Vince Staples announced that he was departing from the previous sound of his critically acclaimed Summertime ‘06, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Then I heard that SOPHIE, of PC Music notoriety, was helping produce his album. The songs that carrie SOPHIE’s touch are obvious (“SEMO”, “Yeah Right”); SOPHIE is not a subtle producer, but this newer, bigger sound didn’t drown Staples’ raps, they exemplified them. Staples thrives in this sound as he thrived in the atonality of Summertime, and songs like “BagBak” and “745” are impressively big, hooking the listener in and keeping them coming back for more. I was impressed, and big fish theory is an album I have returned to several times this year. Staples takes us into his life with “Big Fish”, looking out at the world from how far he’s come in his fish bowl, and somehow the intimacy comes through amidst the bigger, badder sound.

9. Syd // Fin

This album was released in February. My friend called me and told me I needed to “have sweet lesbian sex to this album right now”. I couldn’t, so I put it off (idiotically) until I finally (only) listened to the album months later, in July. And I felt like an idiot. Syd, one half of the funk/r&b duo The Internet, is a queer icon. She shits gold, and her voice is the kind of smooth, cocky voice that is addicting and extremely sexy. Fin exemplifies this. Only Syd can pull of a braggadocio, egotistical song about fame, money, and of course, bitches: “I’m the one your girl been posting tweets ‘bout / This the kinda life me and my niggas used to dream ‘bout / Riding round your city in a mother fucking spaceship” (”No Problem”). Only Syd can sing this explicitly about sex and somehow make it tender: “Baby we can take it slow, say my name / Don't let go, I can hear your body when I / Pull your hair, what’s my name” from “Body” basically sum up the album. It’s Syd bragging about how great she is, and fuck yes, is she great.

8. HAIM // Something to Tell You

HAIM has been my favorite band since I first heard “The Wire” on my college radio as I drove home one afternoon just before I graduated as a senior. I listened to that album nearly every day that summer, and since then, I listen to the band and think of home. I was so nervous the moment I heard the news about their new release; I was terrified it was going to be a sellout record and absolute garbage. It wasn’t. It was no Days Are Gone, but it was just as wistful, just as smooth as Days Are Gone was, with a little extra disco. Sure, there are moments when it’s a little overproduced (sorry Ariel Rechtshaid, I don’t really care to hear this weird pop fake horse neigh on “Want You Back”, I just want to hear Este Haim’s slap bass and Alana’s first extended vocal solo since “Spirit Wind”). I may not have every song memorized yet, but you can bet I scream along to the chorus of the cathartic “Found it in Silence”: “But I found it in silence, I finally see / There's no turning back, I know what's good for me” or the almost Imogen Heap-like “Kept Me Crying”: “I was your lover / I was your friend / Now I'm only just someone you call / When it's late enough to forget”, and finally we hear the Danielle Haim Guitar Solo we’ve been waiting to hear since the beginning of the album. There’s throwback disco (“You Never Knew”), there’s raging blues rock (“Little of your Love”), there’s cathartic goodbyes (“Right Now”), and yeah, I’m a little teary. My band didn’t disappoint, and I am happy.

7. Jlin // Black Origami

This album was released in February, and has stuck with me throughout the entire year. It’s a black woman who refuses to let people (aka, white men) produce her work for her. It’s experimental and percussive and sometimes makes your brain feel like it’s melting (“1%). There aren’t many lyrics in the album, it’s almost entirely EDM experimental percussion, and gosh man, is it good. I listened to the album for the first time and I physically felt myself leave my body for a few moments to forget I was human. The percussive roots of the album are apparent in tracks like “Kyanite” and “Nyakinyua Rise”, and she gives us quieter moments with “Calcination” a rest from the percussive sound centered at the album’s heart. This album blew me away and stuck with me, and was one of the most out-of-nowhere albums of the year. There are surprises hidden away in this world; you just have to find them.

6. Giraffage // Too Real

So it was not once but twice my friend called me in frantic haze, saying, “Molly. Remember when I called you in February to tell you you needed to listen to Syd’s album that very moment and you didn’t and it bit you in the butt? Listen to this album right now.” I had never heard of Giraffage, and when I pulled the album up on spotify I was greeted by a naked blue guy’s butt, resembling Watchmen’s Dr. Manhattan, looking at a crumbling earth. Little was I to know that some vaporwave album from nowhere would go on to be one of my absolute favorite albums of the year. It’s indietronica/vapor soul at its finest: little to no lyrics except for the vocal distortion of “oooOOh YEAH” on the album’s opener “Do U Want Me” (somewhat off putting) until the funk kind of chimes in about 15 seconds later and takes you on the smoothest journey to vaportown. This may seem like I’m chiding the album, but that is the album’s vibe. It chides you until you listen to it 8 more times just that week. Something about future funk is addicting, and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

5. St. Vincent // MASSEDUCTION

How about we take the fallout of a relationship between two of the most iconic women on earth, that we thought for sure were gonna get married, have the musician at the center of the fallout write an album inspired in part from it, and have Jack Antonoff produce it. And let’s have every track be so St. Vincent that the album may in fact be her best album yet. From the moment “New York” dropped in the middle of the summer and became one of my quickly most listened to tracks of the year (“you’re the only motherfucker in this city who forgives me”) to the dropping of “Los Ageless” as a crunchy indie rock anthem (“How can anybody have you? / How can anybody have you and lose you? / How can anybody have you and lose you / And not lose their minds, too?”) to the fervent listen I gave the entire album the second it dropped on a September Friday, to seeing Annie Clark herself perform the album in its entirety live in Maine, this album has been one of my defining albums of 2017. In the end, Clark hints at what made that relationship fall apart on possibly my favorite track of the album, “Slow Disco”: “Am I thinking what everybody's thinkin'? / I'm so glad I came, but I can't wait to leave”. We’ll miss you until next time, Annie. But we’ll keep coming back.

4. Kendrick Lamar // DAMN.

Kendrick Lamar has been on my top albums of the year list since 2015. The man releases a living masterpiece, To Pimp a Butterfly, to critical acclaim. Next year, the same year Kanye West releases one of the most overproduced albums I’ve seen in my living years, he drops untitled unmastered, which went on to steal my heart. This year, he decides to make an album about growing up as a young black man in Compton, CA, and somehow makes it the most listenable rap album of the year. He is deservedly on the top spot again for both Pitchfork and NPR and a number of other publications, and deserves nothing less. From the songs everybody has on their party playlists, “Humble” and “DNA”, to collaborations with Rihanna and, um, U2?, to the end track of the album “Duckworth” telling the story of Lamar’s now-producer avoiding a robbery at Lamar’s father’s counseling, rewinding back to the beginning of the album, right back where we started: “So I was takin’ a walk the other day...”. The cycle repeats, and Lamar is left right in the center of it all, exactly where he should be.

3. SZA // Ctrl

Sometimes there are people in this world who are born with the voice of an angel and Solána Rowe is one of them. I idiotically did not listen to this album upon its immediate release; it was not until I was recapping the summer did my friend berate me for not listening to Ctrl. I listened to it and immediately fell head over heels in love with Rowe and everything she’s ever released. Ctrl took the minimalistic groundwork laid in Z and upped the ante, making the songs even more listenable than you thought. There’s a reason that r&b makes such good soundtracks to any sort of activity you could imagine; exemplified by the smooth base and twinkling synths of “The Weekend” to the more laid back “Drew Barrymore” as she sings, “am I / Warm enough for ya outside baby, yeah”, worrying like all of us do, in a moment of self doubt, if we are in fact good enough for the loved ones around us. Ctrl exemplifies this self doubt, making it poignant, universal, and oh so listenable.

2. Lorde // Melodrama

Lorde is my age, and it’s a little bit jarring. And yet, every single thing she sings about being a 21-year old is somehow reflected back into my life. Perhaps it was the release order of her singles, from “Green Light”, which sounded like a typical pop song with pretty good lyrics, to “Liability”, easily the best song Lorde has ever released in her entire life (“They say, "You're a little much for me, you're a liability / You're a little much for me” / So they pull back, make other plans / I understand, I'm a liability”), to “Perfect Places”, one of the greatest party anthems I have heard over these years, Lorde has outdone herself again. And if it couldn’t get any better, she takes one of the weaker songs on the album, “Homemade Dynamite”, and releases a remix with Khalid, SZA, and Post Malone (yes, you heard me right). Everything about this album is exactly what it needs to be, from the “glamour and the trauma and the fuckin' / Melodrama” to her whisper at the end of the album as the music crashes leaving her alone and tired and young, Lorde has created a masterpiece. I still ask myself, since the album has released, as I dance in dark lights crossfaded on friday evenings, surrounded by people...“What the fuck are perfect places, anyway?”

1. Khalid // American Teen

I’ll be real; this album may not have been as poignant as DAMN., as universal as Melodrama, or as listenable as Ctrl, but the moment this album was released in May, from the ending chorus of the opening and titular track “American Teen” sung by Khalid’s friends, to his smooth voice over a single piano at the end of “Angels”, I knew Khalid had my album of the year. Heartbreak, frustration, independent and lack of it, struggle, peer pressure and over it all, Khalid’s molasses voice singing over the release of (in my opinion) one of the best r&b albums I’ve heard, this album is universal. Every teenager has been where Khalid has been; trying to hide the smell of marijuana in his car from his parents (“8TEEN”) to losing hope when we thought we could make it through the hardest part (“Winter”), to the heartbreak of young love (“Another Sad Love Song”) we’ve been there. I listened to this album a gajillion times this year. I may not be a teenager anymore, but I’m about to graduate from college and be an adult. It’s a little terrifying. And if a 19 year old can make it through that process of independence (and then go on to release an exceptional album), then damn it, I can make it through too.

[blunder-x-blog]

An Alternative Ghibli Ranking

by Molly

NYT published their official ranking of the Studio Ghibli movies yesterday. Now, I’m not saying their ranking isn’t legit and well thought out, but I am saying that it’s wrong (in my opinion). So I’ve compiled an alternate ranking. This is no wheelhouse ranking, unfortunately, I’ve only seen the eight studio Ghibli movies that matter, so I’ll rank those and the rest can be a small pile labelled “Arrietty, Ponyo, other non-Miyazaki works, and the regrettable Tales from EarthSea”.

1. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

This was mostly where my beef started. Yes, I know it’s not “officially” a Ghibli movie, but it’s literally the most perfect movie I could even dream up. Strong female protagonist: check. Post-apocalyptic bug adventures: check. A diverse cast of characters: check. No unnecessary hetero-romance: check. Moral ambiguity: check. She emerges victorious: check. It’s beautiful: check. She’s gay: check (well, okay, maybe not confirmed, but talk to any gay and they’ll agree with me). Nausicaa is the underrated Kiki that little girls want to be, but they just haven’t seen the movie yet.

2. Spirited Away (2001)

Obviously I’m not a crazy person, if not number one this is definitely number two. It is the movie that made ghibli the powerhouse of a studio it is today, and it has more layers and symbology than a Dan Brown book in Japanese culture. I do remember watching this movie as a youngster and being kind of terrified of no-face in the best possible way. And yes, I did have a crush on Haku (who didn’t? Boy could turn himself into a dragon!)

3. Princess Mononoke (1997)

The first time I watched this movie we put it on at midnight and I fell asleep halfway through and woke up right as the nightwalker gets his head back. I was mad confused. The second time I watched it, it was not at midnight and I was mesmerized from the start to the finish. This movie is epic in proportions and thus should be ranked as such. Mononoke is the kind of saga that people in old England would recite to each other as oral poetry. It’s that epic. And yes, demon boars do terrify you when you see them in a half-asleep setting. But they’re so beautifully animated you have to forgive Miyazaki for giving you a few nightmares.

4. My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

When I was a kid, I wanted to ride on the cat bus and find a giant soft panda-bear-thing and play with soot sprites and go on imaginary adventures. If a kid could write a movie, it would look something like this. Totoro remains a classic, and a shoe in for a rainy day movie when you’re eight. Anybody who watches this under the age of ten will immediately turn around and play the imaginary game of pretending to be Satsuke and Mei. And they should.

5. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

This is my personal favorite, but I am aware it’s kind of acid-trippy, which is why I ranked it below the three classics and the under appreciated one. But I mean, also, who wouldn’t want to disappear into the hills of some unmentioned town in Japan with a loaf of bread and some cheese, be really snarky, and then proceed to have not only a scarecrow but also a weirdly-androgynous emotional overdramatic wizard voiced by Christian Bale rescue you and proceed to fall in love with you?? Um, me. Not to mentioned I also had a huge crush on Sophie, and also thought that Calcifer may or may not be the greatest character of all the Ghibli movies, period. This movie is my movie, and I will continue to watch it over and over again for the rest of time.

6.  Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1988)

Another under appreciated classic Ghibli, this one ranks at number one for soundtrack (and yes, this tops Nausicaa's weird eighties-eight-bit soundtrack). The moment I hear the Castle in the Sky suite I’m gone. Plus, young girl pirate shenanigans to rescue mysterious crystal in the castle in the sky. Who wouldn’t want that amazing adventure?

7. Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

The only reason this isn’t ranked so high is because Miyazaki masterfully crafted two better movies with amazing female characters coming into their own right but this one is just as important. So many youngsters I know aspire to be Kiki, as they should. She’s a boss-ass witch who starts her own bread business and woos Tombo and also has adventures in the woods with a great artist mentor. Yes I was in love with Ursula. And I wanted a talking cat too.  And also a flying broomstick. This movie was made for young teenagers, and it remains for them, 100%. I’d consider this a must-watch if Miyazaki wasn’t the king of making movies starring excellent female characters. At least you have a plethora of choices (see above).

8. As the Wind Rises (2013)

Okay, despite being number 8 on the list, I watched this movie with my family after ordering it on Netflix and we literally sat for 2 hours and change absolutely spellbound, despite the fact that the most exciting scene that happens in this movie is an earthquake and trigonometry. It’s gorgeous, it’s slow, it’s almost like a documentary, and it’s worth every second. I’d say this movie is still worth a watch, despite being last on the list. Because let’s be real, it’s Miyazaki, and only Miyazaki can make a 2 hour long movie about an airplane designer interesting, beautiful, and absolutely breathtaking.

In short, watch every single Miyazaki movie. Except for Tales from EarthSea. You can skip that one.

[blunder-x-blog]

the blxnder summer music recap

the staff

As the summer is finally closing out and we officially transition into fall, this week we’re rewinding back to June (for the nostalgia, of course). The music release scene of 2017 went from “okay, Run the Jewels and Khalid were good, but this is no 2016 to holy shit where did all of this come from this summer. Okay, it was mostly Lorde’s album, but still. This week we’re bringing you everything this summer that you somehow missed and need to catch up on, and what’s worth skipping to listen to LCD Soundsystem’s new album yet another time.

You need to listen:

Lorde // Melodrama -- Obviously.

Arcade Fire // Everything Now -- Arcade Fire did disco and it works so well. Pitchfork (and apparently the rest of the world) somewhat disagrees. On par with the Suburbs, far better than Reflektor, not quite Funeral. And “Signs of Life” has kind of been our song of the summer.

SZA // Ctrl -- If you ever needed an album to sum up the obscurity and eloquence of escape room, this was that album through your summer months. Sexuality, love, hurt, nostalgia, everything that you’d want in an album that sounds really sexy but is actually there to make you cry.

Mura Masa // Mura Masa -- The unexpected dance hit of the summer. Collaborations include the likes of Charli XCX, ASAP Rocky and Christine and the Queens. Super enjoyable fun dance electronica with the slightest undertone of pc-type bubblegum and just a smidge of house from Guernsey.

Vince Staples // big fish theory -- Staples is an artist who is constantly pushing and evolving his music. Rather than the off-tuned, dissonant, rambling quality of his first album (still excellent), much like Kanye moving from 808 and Heartbreak to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, he goes big. There’s songs produced by SOPHIE...need we say more.

Haim // Something to Tell You -- More fun disco and also slap bass. Alana gets an entire verse to a song (still waiting on a full song with her on lead vocal). There’s a song that sounds like Imogen Heap, and “Right Now” is a masterpiece. Definitely worth a spin, even if not quite as good as their debut.

Halsey // hopeless fountain kingdom -- Honestly going in, was expecting Halsey to be fairly mediocre but fun. This album far exceeded those expectations. Good beats, surprisingly deep lyrically, and of course, she teamed up with Lauren Jauregui and “Strangers” is a thing of beauty.

Passable if you’re crunched for time, but still worth a spin

Kesha // Rainbows -- If you’re going to be screwed by your producer and sexually assaulted, and successfully win the consequential lawsuit leaving to do your own thing, obviously the next album you release is going to be all over the place (only reason it’s not a huge priority) and a “fuck you” to all the shit you dealt with. And it’s going to be fucking fun.

Sufjan Stevens, Bryce Dessner, Nico Muhly, James McAllister // Planetarium -- Personally, we thought this album was un-fucking-real. That being said, it’s a lot of beeps, it’s a lot of boops, and there’s about 30 minutes of instrumental music on the album. “Saturn” is worth a listen, as is “Jupiter”, “Mercury”, “Pluto” and “Moon”. Much more than that, and it’s mostly just experimental electronic classical music, if that’s your thing.

Ani Defranco // Binary -- Ani Defranco is talented. She has over 20 albums out, so she has perfected the craft. This album is a very good chill album to put on if you want a bit of blues and some fun anti-patriarchy lyrics, but it isn’t really anything different than what she’s been doing since the 90’s.

Sheer Mag // Need to Feel your Love -- If you want crunchy female vocals, bluesy garage guitar and thrumming drums ala blues festivals on the shores of Brooklyn while you eat barbeque with other hipsters and bearded guys still wearing their work overalls, give this one a listen.

Hyped but you really can pass on these ones

Alt-J // Relaxer -- Fine music, but much like the Killers, the chances of alt-J writing something better than An Awesome Wave is just so low that it’s basically impossible. “Deadcrush” and “Adelaide” are worth a listen, everything else is pretty much passable. If you want alt-J in your life, let’s be honest, you’re just going to listen to An Awesome Wave again.

Bleachers // Gone Now -- It’s Jack Antonoff, and he knows how to have a good time. But it was no Strange Desire, and unlike HAIM, it wasn’t quite memorable enough to keep it going through the summer.

Fleet Foxes // Crack-Up -- Obviously Fleet Foxes is a chill jam. It’s beautiful folk music, and it’s what Fleet Foxes are good at. Robin Pecknold’s voice can lull me to sleep any day. And it mostly does that.

Imagine Dragons // Evolve -- The same thing they’ve done for the past two albums. If you’ve heard “Believer” on the radio, you’ve heard this album.

Katy Perry // Witness -- Yes, Katy Perry changed the face of pop in the late 00’s and is an iconic EDM pop figure. Yes, Taylor Swift screwed her over by dropping her discography on the same day as this album’s release. Regardless, Perry has always been excellent as a digital singles artist, and the few songs on the album that have that quality are fun (“Swish Swish” is fun, but maybe only because of Nicki Minaj). You’ve probably heard everything this album has to offer from the songs on the radio.

Fifth Harmony // Fifth Harmony -- Losing Camila Caballo was a bullet wound that Fifth Harmony could not afford, especially if they want to stay in the public loop. While we wish this album could have been something great, it was ultimately forgettable pop nonsense. Go listen to “Strangers” if you want to see Lauren Jauregui shine, and we’ll hope they can make a comeback with the next go around. Just another nail in the coffin of the quickly-becoming-irrelevant-concept of the girl group. 

Tyler the Creator // Flower Boy -- Yes his music is good, but the reason he is in this category? Go read Sara Quin of Tegan and Sara’s infamous response to his music, if you’ve somehow missed out. Bigotry is intolerable here at blxnder. Go listen to Mura Masa instead.

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Each Sunday the staff of blxnder bring you their favorite events of the week in pop culture, music and art in one convenient list.

As the internet knows, the mystery of My Immortal, the world’s most infamous fanfiction, has always been an unsolved mystery...until the author decided to write a novel on why she wrote this fic. Turns out it was a means to find her brother in the foster system of NYC; something none of us saw coming.

If you want to get high and go watch a movie that will literally mind fuck you, do yourself a favor and watch the classic David Lynch 2001 Mulholland Drive. The two and a half hours is fucking worth it.

Disney XD released the brand new Ducktales, updated and aged like a fine wine. The first episode is free on youtube, and it was good enough to tempt me to subscribe for the rest. David Tennant voices Scrooge McDuck, Kate Micucci voices Webby, and the theme song is catchier than ever.

In other news, Ezra Koenig is releasing an anime on the 22nd and it may just change media forever.

Speaking of pitchfork, this article about the gym playlists of the writers cracked me up. And there are some real gems.

And finally, both LCD Soundsystem and Alvvays released new music this past week. Two more reasons to keep holding on in Apocalypse World War III. The world might be destroyed in a month, but at least we have good music.

tune in next week

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What Good is a Jewel that Ain't Still Precious?

By Molly

The other day in one of my classes I had a wakeup call. It was an oceanography class; our professor was asking us to name cities near estuaries and lagoons around the world, to demonstrate how much we rely on water as part of our urban infrastructure. The first cities were fairly easy -- Beijing was easily identifiable due to the smog, and NYC was unmistakable for our Northeastern American class. A few more -- London, Hong Kong. The class was still able to identify these major cities.

Then came the catch. He shows a city, telling us the city is “the fifth largest city in the world”. All of us stumble. There’s a guess that it’s Dubai, and he tells us the city is in Africa. The class is silent, all of us trying to think of at least one major African city. There’s a solid 20 seconds where nobody speaks. Someone calls out Cairo, incorrect. Another calls out Johannesburg, another Cape Town, neither of which are, either. After these maybe 60 seconds of struggling, he tells us the city is in Nigeria. Another 10 seconds of silence. The city is Lagos.

Maine is white. I attend school in Maine, and 80% of the kids are white, as are the professors, if not a higher percentage. And it’s apparent in my program at our lab. It’s...pathetic. The focus on American culture is incredibly high. New England can afford to be its own little bubble. It has an incredible tourist economy, fishing and aquaculture, farming. New England can disappear from the world and live on in it’s own personal planet, forgetting about the rest of the world.

This experience got me thinking about how little we focus on Africa. Because (unlike some kids in my program realize), it’s an entire continent, not a country. It’s huge. The US, India, China, Japan, and most of the countries in Europe can fit inside the area it holds no problem. And Africa is the most ancient place of human history. We were born in Africa, in the soils of the Western Africa, making our way out of Ethiopia to the Middle East in Sumer, making our way around the world. All of us come from this gigantic mass of land, and yet we spend so little time educating ourselves about the rich history of Africa.

The most experience I had with Africa was mostly in ninth grade, in world history. We spent a single unit, about three weeks, on Africa. Three weeks to learn 10,000 years of history, no big deal. Since then, history has focused on, well, the white. An entire year devoted to Europe, another year devoted to the United States (around for a paltry 350 years). Every humanity class I’ve taken since has not had a single focus on Africa.

For such a rich, large, massive place, our knowledge is pathetic. And it’s sad. I could tell you more about Africa’s role in the slave trade of the United States than I could anything about the empires that have risen and fallen over these thousands of years.

Africa deserves to be in the history books. The winners, the whites, write that history, and we have erased everything that does not paint us as the dominant. Which is entirely, utterly, despicably racist. It’s systematic, and it’s everywhere.

Frank Ocean’s “Pyramids” tells the downfall of this continent throughout history, from the towering pyramids that once were to the slave trade domination to the downtrodden just needing to get the bills paid, unable to get out because of the continual systematic racism of the white. As he alludes, there is no value in something that is not precious. Let’s change that.

In order to learn about this continent you have to go out of your way. And it should not be like that, but it is. So let’s work to make Africa a part of our culture, learn about its history, learn about the thousands of years it’s been around. Take the time this month, perhaps, this week, and educate yourself. Below find a list of some resources to get ahold of. Make black history month every month, and make it a priority. These books shouldn’t just be read by African Americans, these documentaries shouldn’t just be watched by those they depict. These voices has been speaking for a long time. It’s our responsibility to listen.

http://www.okayafrica.com/culture-2/african-documentaries-netflix/

http://bookslive.co.za/blog/2011/07/19/the-guardian-compiles-a-list-of-the-top-african-history-books/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/03/50-books-that-every-african-american-should-read_n_1647614.html

https://www.bustle.com/articles/135966-15-brilliant-black-history-books-to-read-for-black-history-month

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the blxnder bxcket

Each Sunday the staff of blxnder bring you their favorite events in pop culture, music and art in one convenient list.

This mashup of Taylor Swift and Britney Spears almost made me cry the first time I heard it. It’s a thing of beauty, and it actually almost makes me enjoy listening to Taylor Swift’s new song.

This trailer looks like the next Zombeaver and it’s fucking hysterical. For those of you who haven’t lived through the original zombie-beaver horror-comedy, go have too much fun getting drunk on a friday night (find the actual film on netflix).

Babe never ceases to entertain in a super feminist, positive way, but this piece on fingering is our favorite yet. Watch the video, it’s priceless.

This article from NYT about the Mayweather/McGregor fight was an. incredibly interesting read. Summary: all your faves are problematic, and everything is secretly about money.

Another Escape Room song you can’t live without.

And for a good, positive, slightly nonsensical time, why not try Inspirobot? A randomly generated inspirational poster will be at your fingertips with this fun AI bot.

Tune in next week

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(via https://open.spotify.com/user/moelwe/playlist/5sVn06xsqK9CD28hOrzRaU)

songs to listen to instead of whatever taylor swift just released

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Why We Shouldn't Give Taylor Swift the Time of Day

By Molly

I finally got around to watching Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do”. I have some thoughts.

Yes, the music video and the song lyrics are extremely heavy handed. Yes, Taylor Swift literally stands on a mountain where past versions of herself  scramble against each other climbing up to try and usurp her. Yes, she has a conversation with her past selves later on in the video and literally says she doesn’t want to associate with them.

It’s big, it’s splashy, it’s catchy, it sings. It’s Taylor Swift.

In the sense, it’s fucking amazing. Obviously it’s going to be a chart topper because she has a following of millions of young girls who idolize her because at 14, she went out and chased her dreams from a small town homey-nobody who became the next biggest things since the Beatles. Yes, she is that big. There is no denying this. She has chart topped with every album release since her first album multiple times for months at a time. Three of her albums sold a million copies within one week of release. She makes millions of dollars a year. In top selling artists for digital singles, she is second only to Rihanna, who releases an album every year (and deserves like hell to be on top for so much more than that).

But what would you have her do? The world looks at her and judges every move she makes. Heck, they judge what sunglasses she’s wearing and what sandwich she eats for lunch. There’s gossip on who she hangs out with, and there’s speculation on her dating life. People break up with people, guys. It’s normal. She’s not a serial dater. And if she is, who gives a fuck. 

So obviously, if the world has been scrutinizing your every move since you were fucking 16, obviously you’re going to be heavy handed. You’re going to fucking hate the world. Not all of it obviously, there are so many people who you’ve inspired and so many people you’re grateful for, blah, blah, blah. But as a concept, yeah, I’d hate the world too. If I never got space away from the world, god dammit, I’d hate it.

Of course she’s moving forward and dealing with it in her own way. In her own way, she’s saying fuck this. Fuck your thoughts on me. Fuck my past self, fuck the mistakes I’ve made and fuck the fact that you have receipts on literally every mistake I’ve made because you’ve been looking and judging since I was 14. Fuck this.

So we shouldn’t give her the time of day. She’s not a perfect person. Nobody is. Yeah, her brand of feminism is white and ableist. Yeah, she’s a bit of a snake and a liar to boot. Yeah, she maybe isn’t the best icon to have when you’re 13 (hint -- Lemonade is still waiting for you to discover it). Yeah, all of that. So don’t pay attention to what she does. Don’t care. Don’t hate her, don’t love her. Be apathetic. And let her live her fucking life and make mistakes like the rest of us. Let her be forgotten for once.

Instead, listen to the new single released by Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett today. Because it’s amazing. And, incredibly enough, relevant: “like a big old ominous cloud, you’re my periphery”. 

Let her be the periphery and go listen to something else. 

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Coming to Terms with Fandom

By Molly

This past week, Gaby Dunn was a guest host on the podcast Dear Hank and John. One of my favorite comedians, Dunn provided an entertaining and new voice to the pod. One of the things she tackled, being an identified queer woman, was a lot of questions neither Hank nor John felt comfortable tackling as older white straight cis men.

A question was brought up by a young woman about the nature of ‘fandom’. Young woman idolizing youtubers to the point of screaming, wrapping their lives around one or two or three figures to the point where these people are no longer people, they become icons of the fan’s warped image of them, nearly becoming godlike in the nature of the relationship. Not unlike how the Beatles were treated during the ‘60’s when they first came into prominence. The young woman, then 19, asked how she should come to terms with aging out of fandom, and realizing that these idealistic views of people she admired were just not sustainable. In essence, how growing up changed her views on fandom.

Dunn touched upon a vast number of topics in her answer, bringing up for example, queer fandom. These young (mostly) women’s idolization of fandom was a product of the fact that, as teenagers, they haven’t yet realized that this time of their life isn’t the most important time in their life. To them, everything is permanent and important and beyond exciting, and living and experiencing and idolizing the things they care about is an essential part of experiencing life for them. And this is so easy to forget when one sees a crowd of young women screaming maniacally at idolized figures.

I was like this girl. As a young queer woman, I was very much a part of queer fandom. Many queer fans (and fans in general) know the infamous story of the CW show the 100. I was a part of those events as they played out. For those unfamiliar, the CW introduced a queer character in a position of power in season 2, who had a queer romantic subplot with the main character of the show. This was huge. Never before had the top billed actress of a show, the first in the credits, literally the main character of a mainstream show, had a queer romantic subplot. This rocked my queer fandom world. My tumblr dash for months, for years, still now, is very much alive with works inspired by these two characters. Art, music, stories, shared experiences, friendships and careers and love have been inspired by these characters. And I had come into this from the beginning. I started watching the 100 halfway through season 2, right when the queer character was introduced. I watched these events play out live in front of me.

I emphasize these experiences so much because it was so novel for all of us. As a collective, as young, queer women, we were experiencing this thing for the first time, together, at what seemed like the best part of our lives. It was unfathomable.

Going into season 3, the show creator played up their romantic storyline. It was one of the main storylines, this young queer relationship. For 6 episodes we lived in fairyland, of watching this show treat this relationship as it would a straight one, giving it the time and day of development, watching these characters slowly fall for each other.

Then they killed her. And the fandom exploded.

Living through this experience, of watching women fall apart over seeing this event, seeing this character with which they identified so strongly simply be tossed away like a dirty rag, was disgusting. And yet, the outrage and uproar was alienating. I wasn’t like these girls that put their entire lives into this show. I wasn’t a fan of the character being killed, but was it really that big of a deal, guys?

It turns out, it was. This event went on to spawn hundreds of young queer kids to go on and create. Write out how things should have played, make art about these characters, go on to create new stories, better stories, after having experienced one so terrible. This event went on to spawn two organizations and a Trevor Project fund in this character’s honor that continues today. This event ultimately, from such a low place, created so much good in the world.

But I was reaching the age where I was beginning to see people complexly. I still cared about things, don’t get me wrong. I am still grateful of all the good that came out of them. I still have conversations online about these characters, I still write erotic fanfiction (what, no I don’t), I still make friends with people who care about these things, But like everyone, I grew up. I realized that the things, the people I had idolized as a young teenager were not perfect. And I still enjoyed them, they just no longer consumed my entire life.

I no longer had any desire to meet these people in real life. I began to distance myself from the pack, I began to pick and chose the things I consumed based on what I wanted to consume. And I no longer spent months at a time idolizing one or two pieces of media. Like all of us, I grew up.

But I realized in hindsight that at the time, these things were the most important to me. I loved so passionately, I loved so rawly, I couldn’t control the amount of love I had for these materialized icons. As a young queer woman, it seemed like the most important thing in my life, seeing these representations of myself in the media. And it still is, because there are still young women everywhere who deserve to see themselves represented. Who deserve to be inspired, to create and share and care about this thing. There are still millions of young women who love as I loved, who were unabashedly passionate about the things they cared about, who bonded and lived and befriended as I did. And everyone deserves to have those experiences, because at the time it feels like the most important thing. And for all they know, it is.

Don’t discount young fandom. Especially young women. So often we write off the screaming fangirl as stalkerish, as brash, as unable to control her emotions and passions. She is no different than I was 5 years ago. We all go through this passionate moment in our lives. And at the time, we have no idea that bigger and better things come on later. At that moment, it feels like the best and most important time in our lives.

So let them live. Let them experience. Let them live judgement-free. They will grow up one day. But there is no reason to force them to now. And who knows. The things they create from their passion may one day be channeled and change the world for the better.

Let fans be fans. And let them be passionate, let them be passionate fans.

Check out the original podcast episode here

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the blxnder bxcket

Every Sunday the staff of blxnder bring you their favorite events in pop culture, music and art of the week in one convenient list.

The past week’s episode of the podcast Dear Hank and John guest starred Gaby Dunn who, as always, is incredibly entertaining. They tackle questions about LGBTQ issues, including an interesting discussion on fandom. Check it out here.

Distracted boyfriend is a new meme this week and it’s giving us life.

Finally got around to listen to Lil Yachty’s new album, Teenage Emotions. Funnest jam I’ve heard since Arcade Fire. Pitchfork can go leave. 

The finale of Wynonna Earp dropped on Friday and our pregnant superhero had to deal with something like 5 different things going wrong. Metaphor for what pregnant women actually have to deal with? Yes.

This song is fucking addicting.

Finally, Chicago has become Gotham and has their own vigilante, or at least a humanoid bat-like figure with glowing red eyes that’s had around 15 sightings so far.

Tune in next week.

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Strange Summer Love

By Molly

A few weeks ago my friend took me to the Museum of Fine Art in Boston. I had never been to this particular museum, but art museums have always been a pleasant experience for me. Growing up as a kid my parents took me to the local museums in my hometown very frequently, a consequence of having two kids to entertain in the cheapest way possible. Museums, art museums in particular, give me a very nostalgic feeling. It’s odd imagining art making us feel like we’re kids again, but in the words of Picasso, “It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.” As I grow slowly into my adult clothing and my adult shoes I find that this quote rings truer the more I think about it. So often do we seek to become children again, longing for that innocence and bliss we had for such a brief period of time. Art can sometimes help us feel that again.

The particular exhibit we saw was an exhibit much like many going around art museums around the country, the Summer of Love 50th anniversary exhibit focusing on the art, mainly photographs, album covers and poster designs of the ‘60’s San Francisco event of the same name. Having grown up listening to the hippie artists of the ‘60’s, my dad a big purveyor of Joni Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix and the Beatles as the soundtrack to my childhood, I recognized most of the album art and was familiar with many of the events the pictures detailed. I think like most millennials, the ‘60’s being another time of radical change, activism and civil rights movements, I thought of the this time as a second home decade.

A particular row of black and white photographs along one wall caught my attention. The photographer of the exhibit looked to demonstrate images of people throughout the ‘60’s living their lives. It was a candid set of photography. Nothing crazily new, but candids can be very enjoyable to look at. I mean, I always pretend that I have a secret photographer taking pictures of me at my most aesthetic. I can’t speak for other people, but candids allow me to live this fantasy through other people.

One photograph in this set caught my eye. It was a young woman, perhaps 22 or 23, staring straight into the camera, carrying a big acoustic guitar with a large flower in her hair, wearing a flowy dress down to her ankles. I had never known this woman, the photograph did not say her name, but for all I knew caught up in the hazy feeling of being slightly high as we looked at psychedelic album covers, I was in love with this woman for the briefest of times. A minute, maybe, I allowed myself to stare at this woman’s face and pretend that I knew her. And then I moved on.

This not an uncommon occurrence I find in myself. It’s very easy to glance at a stranger you see on the train, dancing across the club from you, walking along the road, and imagine for a moment a life with someone you have never interacted with before. To live in the what-if. Perhaps this feeling isn’t love, perhaps it’s a euphoric momentary infatuation, imagining this person you have never seen before and will never see again and allow this fantasy for a moment. It’s difficult to allow a person’s aesthetic to factor out of deciding whether or not you like someone, but whether it’s the product of being a material person, an awful person, or allowing myself to be selfish in the face of love, it is something I consider. And a momentary fantasy of seeing a random stranger and falling in love with them for the briefest amount of time is no crime. Fantasy is no harm as long as you are able to control the thought and keep it in your head. Keeping romance and logic separate is difficult, but essential, in our world.

Being single sucks. Being in an unfulfilled relationship sucks even more. As I grow old, understanding how much romantic love hurts makes me miss the blissful ignorance of being a child even more. When determining your boyfriend was as easy as punching someone in the arm and telling them you liked them. When determining your friends was as easy as saying “let’s be friends”. So often do we turn to outlets to allow ourselves to become children exploring the playground of the world -- psychedelics, stimulants, alcohol, all of these inhibit our logic and replace it with something, well, fun. It’s hard having unrequited feelings, and sometimes we just need to forget them for a little while. Or forever.

In the moment of my falling in love with a stranger, an instant contemplation, living the life of this self that I had extracted from my body, existing in the subjunctive, in the what if of this fantasy, gave me a moment of happiness. And returning to the real world I came away with another experience to add to my small collection. I still can’t decide if it was good or bad.

Sometimes all you need is to allow yourself a moment of selfishness to keep moving forward. Hoping that someday it will all be okay. Because sometimes the indicative sucks. And in the subjunctive, anything is possible.

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A Nostalgic Future

By Molly

I discovered HAIM’s debut album Days Are Gone the summer before freshman year of college during the roiling time of a changing point in my life. These were the days before I became addicted to Pitchfork and paid attention to new releases, back when I still bought albums on itunes and listened to them on an ipod nano. HAIM was just on the verge of becoming notable, so they were still known to the wider public as the Jewish trio with long hair who made weird faces while they played their instruments. Days Are Gone is ultimately an album centered around nostalgia. The album thematically climaxes at the titular track. Este Haim takes lead vocals, singing in her exceptionally clear mezzo through fuzzed retro synth: “You can have my past / I never get that back / But I’m moving on / cause those days are gone.” I was about to leave for my first semester of college, I was beginning to figure myself out as a person, and I was feeling the nostalgia of high school ending and the rest of my life about to begin. The pertinent album hit at a perfect time to fall absolutely in love. And I listened to it nearly every day for three months of my life, a point in my life where I was thinking at once about the future and the past. I can rarely think about the past now without thinking about that album because of course, those days are gone.   Throughout freshman year I changed, as most people are wont to do. Possibly the biggest transition, which had been slowly taking place over the past two years, were my views on music, which went from “sure, I like alt music yeah, I listen to the Arctic Monkeys sometimes” to a state close to obsession, for which HAIM’s album was the catalyst. This period climaxed during the following summer before sophomore year. I consider this a period of heavy character development for myself. I suppose if my life were a movie directed by John Hughes this would be the part where you see a montage set to something like Waterloo and it’s shots of my incredibly aesthetic highschool friends smoking on golf courses and going to Denny’s at 2 o’clock in the morning and having the fucking time of their lives. I still think about that summer today. Fast forward to right now: my penultimate summer of college. The final summer to pretend I’m not an adult. The final summer to throw down and forget the crushing responsibility of everything to come after I graduate. Needless to say, I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic again. There’s a line in Buffy the Vampire Slayer about the concept of ���graduation goggles”, where suddenly everyone is friends with everyone and they all exchange yearbooks and think of the fun times of high school. People become precious, and memories become sand slipping through an hourglass, impossible to keep holding in your hands, so you should grasp them as hard as you can while you have the chance. I may not be in high school anymore, but memories have become far greater than gold in a time when everything I know is about to change.

Remembering the things that have already happened is a deep comfort. Everything changes except the past. What’s already happened is permanently stained on the inside of our brain and will forever influence the future. And there is absolutely nothing we can do about that. In my own little world, I’m currently laboring under the delusion that I will be remembered. Logically I know that in the long run of the universe I am a mere speck forgotten in a bigger-than-I-could-possibly-imagine masterpiece. But within my own existence, I am the protagonist. Everything that I do seems important because the lens of myself is the only lens I can ever have within my own life. It’s hard to think about the past without thinking about the future. The more I remember what was, the more I long for that which is to come to be remembered, a dream that will never be. For everything, everything, will one day be forgotten. It’s poetic, then, that at another stochastic point of my life sandwiched between thinking about the future and remembering the past, HAIM released their second album, Something To Tell You. While it was no Days Are Gone, the album was still excellent. Just enough of a disco-throwback to be a perfect summer release, just stripped down enough to be a slight shift away from their debut. I’ve been listening to it nonstop, and I’m experiencing a deja vu of Days Are Gone all over again. Even more oddly perfect, the themes of Something to Tell You are ultimately about conversations and changing relationships with people. If Days Are Gone is moving forward, Something to Tell You is standing stock still, frozen in the present.

The penultimate songs of Days Are Gone and Something to Tell You complement each other perfectly. The 2013 Glastonbury live performance of “Let Me Go” on Days Are Gone is one of my favorite live performances of all time. The studio version of this song is excellent. The live version of this song is unreal. HAIM takes what is in studio a synth based song, and makes it such a raw, crackling rock song you can’t help but scream along with them. It’s set in G minor, and ends with a 3 minute frenzied drum solo framing a sense of hopeless rebellion : “let me go / you know I’m not one for leaving / let me go.” Thematically, the song is praying for the decision making process of the singer to be removed, begging for someone else to decide, to take responsibility.

The penultimate song of Something To Tell You, “Right Now”, is critically acknowledged as the best song on the album. It’s a stripped down piano based song that builds to a crunchy riff performed on a les paul and a drumming that ignites your heart in almost the exact way the live performance “Let Me Go” does. Only this time, instead of asking to someone else to make the decision for her, Danielle sings: “Finally on the other side now / and I could see for miles / and I’ve forgotten every line.” Almost as though the chaos left with the audience at the end of “Let Me Go” is solved and everything is okay. The terrifying unknown has become thoughtful clarity. And it’s starkly in the moment with the title repeated throughout the song until it becomes a mantra. “Let Me Go” is about a longing future, “Right Now” is about a solid present.

I am in a point where my life is about to radically change. I’m going to graduate, move to a new place, and have to start again from scratch. It’s fucking terrifying. I want so badly to step out of this moment and fast forward ten years to when I own a house and have tenure and a Roth IRA account. To settle into the monotony of adult life and be absolutely content in every way. That, or return to the safety of the past and the comfort of things already happened that I can never ever change.

HAIM is not a perfect band, and I am not a perfect person. Much like the phrase “I know”, said 44 times within Days Are Gone, the patterns of my life are predictable. In this moment I may not know what comes next, but I do know that whatever it is: it’ll work out. It’s far enough away to still have hope. And until then I have the warm blanket of the past to keep me company this summer, remembering what was through the strange memory-triggering effect music has. I once listened to a HAIM album nearly every day three years ago, and I am now listening to a HAIM album nearly every day three years later. The year Days Are Gone came into my life was one of the most important years for me so far. Everything has kept getting better since then, so I’m taking Something To Tell You coming out this penultimate summer of college as a good omen for the future.

I think I’ll go listen to it again.

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I am racist, and so are you

By Molly

I am a white person. And I am racist.

This past weekend on SNL Tina Fey joined weekend update to talk about the things white people can do in the wake of Charlottesville to help marginalized communities. Her advice? Eat cake black people made and do nothing. She followed this with a few insensitive jokes about the repeated rapes of Sally Hemmings, a former slave owned by Thomas Jefferson.

Fey was immediately called out by Sherridan Brown and I'm sure (and I hope) many, many more people beyond. Brown compared Fey's sketch to a series of insensitive tweets by Lady Gaga, asking black people what "non-racist white people can do" to help marginalized black people. Well, you can start by taking the blame.

Brown's central thesis is that white people need to take responsibility for their coded racism. By default as white people, we are racist. I am a young white person. I may have latin heritage, I may be gay, but for all intents and purposes, I look and appear white. Therefore I am white, and therefore I am racist. My gay identity may help me empathize with marginalized race communities, but it does not allow me inaction. It does not make up for the fact that I am still white. 

White people everywhere do everything in their power to remove the blame from them. *I'm* not racist, see? I have black friends. I don't march in white supremacist rallies, therefore I am not racist.

The matter of fact, according to Brown, is that by default, we are. White people get to chose. We get to chose to attend a protest, we get to chose to speak out when someone makes a racist joke, we get to chose when we see racist behavior. We get to chose to ignore it. And for marginalized races, that option simply does not exist.

It always pains me on a level when I attend protests concerned with race. While chosing to show up with our support is a help, ultimately the day ends for white people. The protest is over and we go and get dinner and celebrate over the high our supposed action gave us. For everyone else, they get to go home to potentially dangerous situations, where they could face any number of options: hatred and violence from counterprotesters, police  brutality, or the simple fact that they have to go home and make dinner for their families with groceries they can barely afford to buy. And the day still doesn't end because they have to deal with and educate ignorant, racist white people like Gaga. Education becomes their responsibility and education is exhausting.

This paints a picture that all marginalized communites are like this, and that is just as incorrect as saying they don't. Much like David Foster Wallace said in 2002, we can't judge the situation of every person because there is no way for us to know everyone.

Which is why, as white people, we need to take responsibility. We need to show up and march. We need to educate ourselves on the long and tenuous history of marginalized race groups. We need to interact with our politicians and tell them they need to represent these groups. And most importantly of all, we need to listen. Listen to the stories of marginalized people. And don't fucking jump in and dominate with your sympathy. Because there is no possible way for you to know.

Brown’s piece:

https://wearyourvoicemag.com/identities/race/name-iconic-duo-white-feminism-white-liberalism

Call your senator out: 

https://www.senate.gov/reference/reference_index_subjects/Directories_vrd.htm

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Allston Rat City bb

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On Alleged Internet Addiction

By Molly 

National Geographic recently released an article on the science of addiction. It reminded me of a very vivid memory I had as a junior in high school. I was in my 11th grade English class listening to one of my teachers talk about learning styles. I was never one to pay much attention in that class; most of the topics discussed I had learned the previous year.

However, something she said continues to reverberate down the tunnels of my consciousness to this day. She said, if you are unable to go three days without accessing the internet, you are addicted. 

The NatGeo article went into very deep detail about how many neurologists are beginning to consider addiction an actual disease state. Death caused by drug and addictive substance-related complications rank alongside such conditions as heart disease, stroke, and lung cancer. And yet, it's not just drug addictions. Of course, methamphetamine, cocaine and heroin will do damage to your body, there is no denial of that, but many researchers are just as concerned with the effects of things like gambling, gaming, and general internet use.

In the world we live in, I use the internet almost daily, for the most part around 3-8 hours per day depending on what I'm doing. And it's not just for pleasure, either. As a scientist I use the internet as a tool for my research. I use it to write papers and code. I use it to communicate, ask for help. And on the flop side, I use it for pleasure. I stream, I read, I exchange ideas, I communicate, I relax. The internet is a tool that has defined my generation. 

Is it as addictive as older generations worry that it is? Or is it no different than the wariness past generations harbor over technology changing too quickly to keep up? For of course, technologies such as the printing press, the telephone, the radio and the television have all gone through their time of shame. Women were blamed for being addicted to talking on the phone in the 1920's and 30's, no differently than my peers today are blamed for looking at those damn screens all the time.

I enjoy taking a break from my tech. As much as my father did in 1970, I'll go for a walk in the woods. I may have to put away my phone and laptop for a day. But it doesn't change the fact that it's the same activity all these years later. And it still doesn't change the fact that I am expected to check my email three times a day regardless of how I spend my free time.

Is our usage of the internet expected and defined by previous generations' wariness of tech? Are screens truly as addictive as scientists warn us they are? Or is the world simply changing to a point where this uniquely innovative and life changing tool is integrated into many, many aspects of our life? Research shows that screens may be damaging to our eyes as we fall asleep. And yet the expected usage of these technologies doesn’t change. Humans are adaptable, and as we move forward into the future, experiencing new innovations with every passing day, the answer will only become clearer to us. Technology moves too fast for us to keep up, and my generation will one day blame the latest innovation as much as the previous generation blames this one. As unique as we like to think we are, I think we are too predictable to allow ourselves the idealistic idea that we will be different, we will accept that change. 

My mom has finally transferred her paper calendar to an electronic one. She got a facebook, and communicates with her sisters with it. As much as she resisted these for so many years, I love to see how much joy it brings her to be able to communicate so effectively and easily with the people she cares about. Acceptance took a long time, but it was inevitable.

As technology fast outpaces my generation, we will be faced with the same choices that our parents and our grandparents faced. And while apprehensive at first, I think everyone has come to realize just how life changing the internet is. Perhaps it is addictive. Perhaps it is simply the fact that the internet has pervaded so many aspects of our lives that we mistake our usage for addiction. Or perhaps they are one in the same.

Regardless, I'm still going to check my phone every morning and read the New York Times like my grandfather did in 1950. Screen or paper, after changes upon changes we are more or less the same. After changes, we are more or less the same.

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When We Have Droogs

By Kai

Adiah and I met on OkCupid.  She had arrived in Boston only about a week prior to us going on a date, and was looking to see some live music.  I asked if she’d be interested to grabbing ramen and then heading to a basement show in lower Allston that I wanted to check out.  The Track Shack has one of the better sound systems in the area, and the shows are usually a good time, so I felt confident in it as a first date location.  

 I need to check the bands playing before I bring a first date to an Allston basement show.  The music was interesting, but it was entirely instrumental progressive and math rock.  We watched two of the bands play before I asked her if she smoked weed.  “Oh god yes I love it when people ask me that,” she said.  We stepped outside and shared a spliff that I’d rolled before I left.  I’d been smoking a lot.

 We sat outside talking for maybe 20 minutes while we waited for the next band to start playing.  As they began their set I asked if she actually wanted to see them, or if she wanted to leave.  I told her my house was nearby and we could go smoke more and listen to music that had lyrics – if that sounded appealing to her.  She said she didn’t really care.  Then she said actually let’s leave.    

 When we got back to my house, we sat on my floor as I packed a bowl.  My room doesn’t have a lot of options for seating.  There’s my bed – which is just on the ground, a single chair, and a massage mat which I use for meditation.  We both sat on my bed and I explained how excited I was about the weed dealer that I’d just found.  

 Adiah asked if I liked Knxwledge, and I said that I was not very familiar with him.  She requested that I put on a song called “Droogs,” which was him and Anderson .Paak as NxWorries.  

 The song started as we started another bowl. The basic plotline of the song is about a relationship Anderson .Paak has that is exclusively built on sex and drug use.  The hook goes, “She don’t give a fuck / she don’t ever stress me / we don’t really talk / all we do is sex and leave / no there’s no love / she don’t even like me / but when we have drugs / she can be my wifey.”  By halfway through the song we had ceased talking, and we’d agree that the dial on my stereo needed to be turned way the fuck up.    

 The sense of urgency escalates throughout the song and the bridge hits you with a new intensity, “how many more can you give to me / how many more can you give to me / I know you’re feeling me / grinding and biting and kissing me / who gives a fuck ‘bout your history / nobody mentioned it.”  Adiah and I traded hit after hit, fueled by the Friday night in a new place, with new people, listening to dope music.  

 I wasn’t sure if I truly wanted to, or perhaps was expected to, but by the end of Droogs - I figured it was probably time to make a move.  

 OkCupid has this incredible feature – it’s unique selling point really – which allows you to answer a smorgasbord of questions. There questions range anywhere from, “Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?” to “Do you think jealousy is healthy in a relationship?” to “If your partner really wanted to, would you roleplay a rape fantasy?”  OkCupid then calculates your compatibility with potential romantic partners based on how many of the questions you answered the same, and gives you a score. Adiah and I were 92% compatible, which felt pretty significant.  OkCupid also allows you to go onto someone’s profile, and see what they’ve answered to the questions.  This way you can know before you get into bed with someone whether or not they like to be choked during sex, and whether they believe some human lives are worth more than others (Adiah thinks yes, but has no interest in being choked).  

 I’d known from browsing her questions that Adiah had no qualms about sleeping with somebody on a first date, and I decided to make moves.  We were lying in bed, listening to this very sexy Knxwledge mixtape, and after the song she’d just requested I felt fairly confident this was a good idea.  “So –” I began, “I think you’re cute, do you want to make out?”  

 This has always been my move.  People seem taken aback by it pretty often, but I stand by it as an alternative to just going for it and hoping the other person is into it.  

“Let me think about it,” Adiah said.  She thought for about 15 seconds before settling on, “Sure – why not?”  Then, “Oh wow, that totally came out wrong.  Haha, no – I – um, I really do want to.”

I laughed, I found her response rather charming, and entirely reasonable given the situation.  I had no expectations that she would be overtaken with lust for me, and “sure why not” seems like an entirely valid reason to hook up with somebody in my book.    

“Really, no worries.” I assured her.  

 We kissed for a few moments, but the passion was simply not there.  Actually it wasn’t simply not there – it was dramatically not there.  You know how when you kiss somebody after the first second or two you both sort of open your mouths and tongues get involved and it’s a whole thing and that’s when it starts to get fun?  That didn’t happen.  I kept waiting for it to happen, sort of trying to get it to happen, but it didn’t.  She laid almost completely still, kissing me the way you might kiss your grandmother – but if you were high as fuck and met your grandmother on OkCupid.  

 We stopped kissing and went back to smoking weed and listening to music.  It was pretty late and she asked if she could spend the night and I said sure.  

 Shortly after she left the next morning, I listened to Droogs again.  

 I texted Adiah to tell her how much I liked the song.  I have not enjoyed a single song this much in quite a long time.  She replied agreeing that it was great, and asked if she could get my weed dealer’s number, which I sent to her.  We haven’t talked since, but I have listened to Droogs nearly every day for a month.