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Yes! Love it

Typical role dustribution

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what the hell man

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If it’s ok to kill a “parasite” then it’d be ok to round up all the homeless drug addicts and euthanize them right? I knew as soon as I saw your post you’d have some retarded pronouns in your bio. How often do you see a therapist?

Dude how far back did you even go before you decided to come into my inbox to be a dick? I'm not even sure what you're going on about as this is mostly a fandom screaming/shipping tumblr. My pronouns are she/they which as far as pronouns go aren't even close to the range of interesting options now (finally) available.

I see a therapist once a week or so but that's not usual for us 'retards'. Like I haven't heard that one before! I grew up with Autism and ADHD in the 90s in Australia! Get more original! Then at least it would be interesting to read!

As for what your hypothesizing: No. Human rights apply to all humans born. Including the homeless. Including the old and infirm. Including the disabled. Including people with drug problems. Even the right wing and people I don't agree with. They're not parasites.

Unlike the official clinical definition for blastocysts, embryos and fetuses (which is actually what this is about I suspect). Which *are* a type of parasite and have a parasitic relationship with their 'host' body.

The host has the right to choose whether they continue to host a parasite whether or not that parasite has the potential to become a human being. Is that my favorite thing? No! Abortion makes me sad, honestly. I would prefer people have access to birth control that *works* as well as the knowledge to use it effectively, and not have to worry! But I will never take away a human's rights for another - completely speculative - being. That's not right. It's not fair! I certainly am not going to impinge on a woman's right to choose, or support legislation that does so, just because I find it sad or uncomfortable to talk about!

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Wizard worm just emerged from a wizarding hole! Lucky you!!!✨🪱🪄🍀

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Yes!

That JayTim Urban fantasy AU where ~scrappy kid!Jason cuts through the graveyard or some such one night and there are Delinquents hanging around...delinquent-ing.

And he's like.

Normally very much pro mind his own business about things? But this particular night said Delinquents are like harassing a stray pupper or just being annoyingly disrespectful and Jason is like ugh, fine, okay, to that ever-annoying bit of conscience in the back of his head and steps in.

This whole bit of a scuffle where he chases the Delinquents off and rescues this little scrap of a stray and is like.

*SIGH*

Because Big Sad Eyes staring up at him and it's not like Jason and his mom have the resources to take care of this little scrap of fur and bones, and Jesus, could its eyes be any bigger or more soul-destroying?

(Seriously.)

But!

There's like a caretaker's shed or shack or hovel attached to the back and Jason is like.

Hmmm.

Totally intends to leave the little stray there and continue on his merry way, right?

(The stray all bundled up in Jason's hoodie because it's cold as balls out and the stray is shivering. From the cold or lingering fear from the damn Delinquents harassing it, who knows.)

Also, Jason's cut through the graveyard before, okay. Shortcut to get home and all that, and he's seen/heard a dog around before.

Assumes it belongs to the caretaker kind of thing. Old black mutt getting on in years.

But things don't quite work out the way Jason expects and the wizened old creepy guy who is apparently the caretaker is like.

Old and wizened as mentioned above and Not Quite Right.

Like.

Everyone who lives in Gotham winds up being a little Not Quite Right after they've lived there long enough, you know? Life's just like that there, given the everything that goes on.

But this guy.

Suuuper Not Quite Right.

But not in a call the fucking cops even if they are a corrupt bunch of bastards kind of way, just.

*hands*

Because.

Graveyard Caretaker Guy - "Carl, kid. My name is Carl. Also, I'm in my fifties, Jesus Christ." - is like.

"I could use a hand with this place," and offers Jason a job out of nowhere like that's a thing people do these days.

Especially when it comes to snot-nosed brats like Jason, you know?

(Anywhere, let alone Gotham.)

The kicker, though. Thing that makes Jason say yes even though he really shouldn't considering the frankly abundant red flags popping up every-goddamn-where, is that Carl's offering him eighty bucks an hour to help clean the graveyard.

Like.

A couple nights a week kind of deal on the weekends because school nights and so on?

And it's obviously too good a deal to be true and Jason is like so, so suspicious and skeptical, because again.

What even.

But.

Good money and even if Jason's half-convinced he's going to end up murderized and buried in the damn graveyard he's going to be working in, it's not like he can really say no to the job offer, you know?

Plus, Carl doesn't seem to mind about letting the stray stick around, or at least keep an eye on it. Make sure its gets fed and so on if it wanders along.

And, okay.

At first everything seems nice and normal, right?

As far as Jason knows, anyway.

But after a few weeks he starts to realize the pace is fucking haunted.

(Of course it is. It's a fucking graveyard in Gotham.)

Little ghost cats and kittens running around tripping Jason up.

Other critters and such.

Actual ghosts, who have Opinions when it comes to where the flowers their loved ones leave them should be placed - "Jesus, okay. Like this?" - and so on.

And Carl's dog Amos is a church grim, been there since the church was built way back when, because of course he is.

Oh, and speaking of?

That "stray" Jason helped that one night?

Not exactly a normal stray, no.

Because.

Jason catches sight of this kid wandering around every so often, right?

Teeny, tiny kid with an expensive camera.

Kid does okay blending in for the most part, but the camera gives him away.

(Also, that hoodie he's wearing looks vaguely familiar? But whatever, not important.)

Apparently the kid uses the graveyard as a shortcut too - a lot of kids so, really - and at first Jason thinks the kids some breed of Delinquent, what with the everything.

But no!

He's just a little idiot.

One who's apparently been running around Gotham at night taking pictures for years, and using the graveyard as a shortcut for a while because the little ghost cats and kittens and other assorted critters aren't spooked by him when he pops up.

A few of the actual ghosts greet him by name, ask after his day and so on.

Hell, even Carl knows him, which.

Okay, yeah.

Whatever.

And Tim - because of course it's Tim - is weird as hell.

Stops by the graveyard more and more once Jason starts working there to chat (chatter, really, about this or that or everything) and it makes the night go by faster, having a - a friend to talk to, right?

Anyway.

Jason's hard at work one night, you know.

Cold and wet even with the rain gear he's got on because it's the middle of fall and leaves everywhere. Cold and rainy and he hears the tiniest a-woo and goes looking for the source to find out it's the damn stray pupper from the start of this whole mess.

Only not so much a stray-stray anymore, because Carl and Amos and everything?

Or so Jason thinks.

Anyway.

The dumb thing managed to get trapped in a dumpster, which is great, because Jason has to climb in after it to get it out and isn't that fun?

(Thankfully it's a full moon out, even with the rain so it's not impossibly dark out.)

The idiot of a stray is just Big Sad Eyes at Jason and soaking wet and just as miserable looking as Jason feels and Christ, okay.

Jason brings the stray back to Carl's shack/whatever and plunks him down in front of that old wood stove to warm him up after drying him off.

Jason rolls his eyes when it falls asleep and Jason was just about done working as it was, and it's late.

Like.

So late.

Carl doesn't mind Jason sleeping on that old beat up couch of his, lets him spend the night even on weekdays when Jason needs to for whatever reason, and anyway.

Carl's gone for the weekend, off visiting relatives in wherever and so on and.

Yes.

Jason has some homework or other bit of whatever and starts in on that, but laaaate, and he just.

Falls asleep?

Only to wake up who knows how many hours later, doesn't know what woke him up, but when he turns around it's to see that little idiot Tim trying to sneak out.

Which.

"What the hell."

(Tim's wearing a familiar hoodie jeans and has a guilty expression on his face and, no, really. What the hell.)

Because Jason's pretty sure it was just him and the dumb stray, but now Tim's there and -

"I can explain?"

To which Jason is like, yeah, sure. Why not? As he gets up and makes coffee because late night and early morning and he's pretty sure they both could use it, and anyway.

Tim and his wandering around Gotham at night to take pictures. Rain storm and slippery handholds and so on -

"Wait, what?"

Also full moons, and sometimes Tim just.

Forgets?

And -

"No, really. What?"

Tim just staring at Jason for the longest time.

"Uh," he says. And also. "So. Um."

Apparently there was a Thing that happened a while back with Tim's parents?

A dig or whatever before Tim was born and either an Ancient Curse(TM) or Cursed Artifact(TM) or just random bit of idiocy in which werewolves were involved, and anyway.

Usually it's fine, Tim's got a handle on it now.

(His parents must too, because they're just fine off gallivanting all over the place even though werewolves???)

"Just, you know. Sometimes I forget, and with the weather lately I thought it'd be okay to grab some pictures, but..."

Tim shrugs, plucks at the hoodie he's wearing - the same one Jason bundled the dumb stray in last night, and oh.

Anyway.

"Huh," Jason says, staring at Tim.

And then, just.

Shenanigans, I guess?

Jason and his job and bringing in money that helps out so, so much and Tim - a little idiot on two feet or four, it all works out the same - visiting Jason at his work and keeping him company.

(Sometimes chattering away about his week and showing Jason his pictures, once a month or so - running around on four little paws and generally being a furry nuisance.)

Adventures here and there. Incidents with...less friendly ghosties and ghoulies and the like in which Amos turns out to be a very good boy indeed - and Carl is just.

"Well why else do you think he's still around after all these years?"

Because church grim in Gotham, and anyway.

Yes???

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I love the relationship between Ra’s and Tim in the Red Robin run because it reads fundamentally as an unrequited crush. Between an old man who is so rich he will never spend all his wealth, a man who is considered to be charming in the same way a snake is, a man who is more powerful than the majority of other villains just on the strength of his legacy alone.

And.

A seventeen-year-old boy who has not slept in three days since the last time someone drugged him, has not showered in three weeks unless you count being thrown into a river, has not cleaned his room since he was three and his parents still payed attention to him.

And when I tell you which one has the crush on the other, that’s it, that’s the ultimate punchline, DC may never reach these peaks of comedy ever again.

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Reblog if you’re over 20 and still read/write fan fiction.

I’m curious!

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Care for a drink?

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I hate canon Alfred Pennyworth honestly. That's why I cling to fannon-magic-butler-grandad. Sure he isn't realistic or even close to how he is in comics but it make me feel so much better!!

one of the biggest lies the fandom with tell you is that alfred pennyworth is a good man.

he’s horrible. people just don’t realize he’s horrible because they’re all too focus on the superhero’s.

not many people in the fandom know this, but alfred literally has a daughter. her name is julia. why does no one know about julia? BECAUSE HE ABANDONED HER. it’s canon that he chose the wayne’s over his OWN CHILD. when she’s introduced in the comics she hates her dad because he abandoned her in england to raise a child that wasn’t even his.

the infamous jason “a good soldier” memorial? yeah, alfred did that. bruce wanted it taken down. alfred also left jason’s destroyed robin suit on display.

alfred is the reason tim is robin. dick and bruce are trapped by two-face and alfred just… gives tim a robin costume and sends him on his way. no formal training. no nothing.

every blame dick for damian becoming robin? wrong. it was alfred. dick was against it. alfred is the first one to give damian the robin costume, like he did to tim years before. dick did eventually choose damian as his robin, but that was while damian was ALREADY ROBIN. (he even tells tim that he doesn’t pick tim to be his robin because he considers tim to be an equal, not a sidekick, but i digress)

when bane breaks bruce’s back, alfred literally packs up and leaves. he travels. he just drops everything and goes to explore the world, until dick eventually hunts him back down.

it’s also a common theme that alfred couldn’t find the right balance between being a father figure and a butler, so he was constantly enabling bruce growing up (and still does) because technically bruce was his boss… even though he had custody of him.

edit: actually technically (in some runs) bruce’s uncle has custody of him but literally makes being absent an olympic sport But you get what i mean

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fic writers in the tags tell me the fic you're most proud of writing. any fandom, ship, no ship, any length etc. whatever work makes you go "oh i wrote this" and elaborate why if you want

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Yes please

*Bolts awake in a cold sweat*

Tim who adores cheap raunchy vampire romance novels with a passion who kept getting teased about it by Jason

Jason suddenly disappears (not exactly uncommon for him, but also this time a gangrel has decided that his hunting of the wicked and the enormous challenges he's overcome to survive would make him an amazing vampire and has turned him)

Tim being the first to figure it out because his vampire erotica keeps disappearing only for Tim to find himself getting lured into scenarios that are SUSPICIOUSLY similar to the start of those same novels...

(Tim letting himself fall for the lure once he puts two and two together and getting to live out his dreams with a very smitten and thirsty Jason)

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seeing posts about batfamily characterization and why one way is wrong or another is and im just like. can we just say we have favorites? bc most of these guys are built from decades of different writers and different ways of existing so fucking obviously theres gonna be different versions of the same character.

"bruce is a bad father" yes he is he found out red hood was jason and tried to lock him up, he made dick fake his death, he was neglectful of tim

"bruce is a good father" yes he is he gives jason chance after chance, he hugs dick when hes overwhelmed, he took tim in as his own

"jason hates tim" "tim hates damian" "dick is a bad sibling" yeah but also no, depends on what youre reading and what you want to see

the thing is with old ass characters and so many series and universes you arent going to be able to get one solid version of any of them. canon accurate characterization with comics is mostly what you make of it so can we all chill the fuck out about whos an asshole and who isnt bc i promise you at some point both have been true

im not saying that you cant be upset at the characterization, personally dicks gets on my nerves sometimes, but i am saying that ive seen 6 posts that all start the same way and make good points but they all contradict themselves. have your opinions but stop saying that yours is right and true when it is not the only true.

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GUESS WHO CROCHETED RED HOOD FOR HELLAWEEN

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Half Goblin, half Hobbit.

Goblit.

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not that transphobes are ever saying anything interesting or insightful but it makes me insane when they see a trans woman who wants a uterus and start frothing out the mouth about how the sinister trans cabal is going to start harvesting organs from the poor and vulnerable... worsties do you have any idea how many trans men and cis women would be THRILLED to rehome their uterus to someone who actually wants it? all I'm doing with mine is complaining about it for a few days every month, I'd happily pawn that shit off to someone who would be happy about it. yes I am on my period why do you ask.