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reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

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aaarrrggghhhhhhh

I feel like it's a lose/lose dating someone who is depressed and has autism. Like uuuuuughhhh.

I feel like I have to do everything he wants or else he gets sad, goes mute, and spirals into sadness. But if something goes wrong while we're out he gets upset that he "forced me into this mess" AAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK OFF DUDE!

And now he's telling me I should hate him, forget him, I deserve better and I'm like..... DO YOU FUCKIN WANT ME TO? BITCH?

I can't do this, he's not getting better - HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET BETTER! Im at a fuckin loss and don't have time for this BS.

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Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Okay guys, let's learn something okay?

So once upon a time there was a woman, Cat Janice. A mother a musician. She got diagnosed with cancer in 2021 and is on her death bed rn. Rumor has it she is giving her 7 year old all the royalties from the song, and everyone is playing it.

Aaaaaand then she decides to follow Pro Israeli accounts on Instagram. 🤦 And now people are upset. (especially right now, Israel bombed Palestine on Super bowl Sunday, and there are NSFL images of dead Palestine kids, now's REALLY NOT a good time to be pro Israeli)

Ok, oof, well at least the money is going to the kid and like, she's gonna die soon, idk but would this have blown up if she was more vocal in the beginning?

BUT THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!

Because now people are saying "Stop listening to Cat Janice, you should listen to Afroanjo8! He's in the hospital and needs help paying his bills!"

🙃 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ok ok, here let me back it up a bit.

I am sure Afroanjo is a wonderful person, he definitely gives good vibes, and I wish him well. And honestly I like his song more than Cat's (I couldn't even finish the tictok sample of hers, idk not my jam ig). I don't want to shame people for wanting to support/help him, and listening to music is something we all can afford to do.

I am mad at those who feel that Afroanjo is a replacement figure for Cat. Like.... no, that's dumb. That assumes this man is 100% problematic free, and I know NOBODY is. Like... I don't even know if this man is pro Israeli or Palestine or he has no opinion, there is so little information on this man.

He doesn't seem to have social media (he has Instagram, but the link isn't working), he's from Brazil (according to YouTube), we don't even know why he is in the hospital. Rumors are spreading, that he too is dying of cancer and has a kid, but I CAN'T FIND ANY OF THIS INFO.

And like, good for him, clean that digital footprint! The less people know of you the better, don't be controversial and lay low.... That being said we know nothing of this man's opinions/views, and yet he's the perfect replacement for a person with a bad take?

I can't shake the feeling that he will say someone controversial, and the loop will continue- "find a dying/sick artist, support them, oops there a bad guy, find a new dying/sick artist, repeat."

Just.... PSA: There's always a risk when you support a random person. They won't always support your beliefs, there's a chance they will "backstab" you*

*the level of backstab will depend on the power they have, and how much you give them. It'll vary hence the quotes.

Honestly, hot take, DON'T SUPPORT RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET PURELY BECAUSE THEY ARE SICK AND/OR DYING!

Like sure check them out if they're on your radar. Maybe you really do like them and you found a diamond in the rough. But don't turn them into an idol. Do a little bit of research, know they are human and can disappoint you. Know there is a risk.

I'm just upset that we found another sick guy when Cat was literally days ago like.... Have we learned nothing???

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It's crazy how much a cat can improve your mental health. Ofc having a cat isn't for everyone, but I love my roommates cat. I'll be so sad when I move out later this year 😭 no pets allowed but the apartment is cheap. Maybe next year.

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yeah, I shouldn't have had caffeine so late, but I was so sleepy and had homework due... sigh. It'll be better in the morning. I will be ok, I only share the bad- and the bad is extreme rn. Life is such a rollercoaster, it's crazy

oh yeah, I got a new pfp, found it on the Google. looks like it's made by IncatationSamurai, so that's pretty cool.

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phases i go through bc little bro has cancer

The initial shock

2. I laugh hysterically when I can get my mind off it

3. Trying to pull it together when it hits again

4. Hopeful that he will be okay

5. It hitting that I might actually lose my brother

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AND IF I WERE TO SHOW THE FUCKER THIS POST HE'D GO

"oh........ I'm sorry, I ruined everything, you should just leave me-"

Do you want me to? DO YOU WANT ME TO????? Akjfldjfkadfdsjkafjdskdjsfk.

BITCH I'M DEALING WITH A LOT RN, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU'RE SHITTY PITY PARTY. I am BURNING already.

I've done my best, I've told him to be kind to himself, to replace his self-deprecating """jokes"""" with empowering phrases, that I love him, and that he is not worthless, BUT HE DOSEN'T FUCKING LISTEN. It's almost like he doesn't even want my help- it does NOTHINGGGGGG. Then I ignore him and he's like "Oh you're mad at me, I'm sorry" lukdaslkjdlsfiu;aerfiouernidbuefbiu

bitch I'm about to look up this man's health insurance and see if he qualifies for therapy. I'm doing more than he EVER will to improve his own mental health. It's like he doesn't even want to change like he is content being miserable. sigh.

Me: My brother has cancer, failing a class, cutting ties with my toxic dad, and trying to convince mom to divorce his ass

my bf: I'm worthless and deserve pain

me: no I love you

bf: no i don't i don't deserve you

Me:

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Me: My brother has cancer, failing a class, cutting ties with my toxic dad, and trying to convince mom to divorce his ass

my bf: I'm worthless and deserve pain

me: no I love you

bf: no, i don't deserve you

Me:

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First experiance with Cancer Support Community really fucking sucks.

My brother has cancer. Osteosarcoma. On Tumblr it's one of the most lethal cancers for dogs, but for humans it's survivable.

I feel can't say any more than that in cancer support groups. I have to act like my brother is dying, and these are his final moments.

People: This disease sucks, but he can live. Me: Yeah, that's what I figure. Google says he has a 60-77% survival rate People: OH MY GOD NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING YOU DUMB BITCH, THOSE NUMBERS MEAN SHIT AND YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR BROTHER HE IS DYING!!!!

like..... wtf! How am I supposed to know ANYTHING about this cancer??? SHUT THE FUCK UP. GOD! I KNOW googling health things is dumb, but I'd like to know if my brother has a chance at life, or if this is "Once they find it it's too late" cancer.

It's very upsetting because, from what I've seen this cancer CAN and often IS treated, and people SURVIVE ALL THE TIME!!!! LITERALLY, I WAS IN A BETTER PLACE BEFORE I REACHED OUT TO THE COMMUNITY. I know there is a chance my brother won't make it, that we are too late, BUT LET ME HAVE HOPE GOD DAMNIT!

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. I literally don't even want to try again. Just tell me my brother is dying and I am stupid. This isn't support.

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My little brother has bone cancer and this is how I cope

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hi, this is just a vent blog

Just me getting my thoughts and shouting them into the void, maybe getting another pov on it. More angry than angsty. But yee.