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blamerecs · 2 years

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Daddy Jungkook is love, daddy Jungkook is life 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

to err is to love

synopsis: planning your twins' mario theme bday party with your baby daddy/ex husband makes you start to feel weird things .. but no, you will not walk down that path again !!!

word count: 6k

pairing: dilf!jk /ex husband!jk / ceo!jk x afab reader

genre: fluff, angst, comedy, jk and oc's rich friends spoil their kids 🙄, guest appearance from g idle and enha

authors note: if u have any comments plss put it in the asks bc this is a secondary account😭ily all, this may be a part of a series if the feedback is good. i have winter break for the next three weeks so im popping these fics out very quickly!

They say you find the purest love on earth by looking into your mother's eyes- and you've never really understood that until you had your own kids.

The pure adoration you have for your children is unimaginable, indescribable, unmeasurable. Your heart aches, is inter-permeated with the sweetest types of love when you think about your children. Menial tasks like simply waking them up for school in the morning, drool on the corner of their small mouths, have your very being beaming with captivation. Even the tiniest gesticulations have you enchanted, an absolute fool for your kids. It takes constant internal berating to remind yourself your kids need discipline, but it's instinctive of you to spoil them, which is precisely why you often find yourself begging your friends to join the three of you in a late night game of Among Us.

Your love for your children is also why you agreed to co habitat with your ex-husband Jungkook.

You and Jungkook were victims of a young pregnancy, one that had you ripping your hair out when you peed on that stupid stick. Though not a teenage pregnancy, getting pregnant at the tender age of 22 wasn't the most ideal of situations. Who knew that such a horrific time in your life would turn into the greatest of blessings?

Jungkook was your first boyfriend; you consider him your first love, basically the only man in the world you have been in a serious relationship with.

The night after your second anniversary date, Jungkook decided that you had him way too obsessed to just let you waltz back into your home, practically having his balls in the palm of your hand. So he insisted that you stay in his car a little bit longer; he then abused his power as son of Jeon Enterprises to take you to one of his dad's luxury hotel rooms. Jeon Enterprises runs Korea's largest and most popular chain of hotels and casinos, and surely his father the CEO was livid once he discovered what his son had done.

His father called him up to his office, and Jungkook was gnawing on the inside of his cheeks when he took that elevator forty stories up. Jungkook took the berating pretty well- after all he had the best night of his life with the girl of his dreams. That was the second most angry he's ever seen his father.

The most angry he's ever seen his father was when he broke the news to his dad that you were pregnant. That day he took a pretty harsh beating that left his ass sore for weeks .

Flash forward seven years his dad is absolutely enamored with his grandchildren, being the principle contributor to how spoiled his kids are- but flash forward seven years later he's also lost you.

A couple years after your children were born, you and Jungkook had your dream wedding in Paris at only twenty four years of age, and three years after that was the grim and ugly divorce.

A series of grievances and humilation that were a result of your relationship left you so broken, and you would never forgive yourself if you allowed yourself to stay with him. For the sake of your children did your relationship remain amicable and cordial; you refused to let them grow up in a broken home.

Your little babies were Haru and Hina, and may or may not be named after your and Jungkook's favorite anime characters; but that's what the younger versions of yourselves decided on and are the names you've chosen for their precious little faces. Your fraternal twins are objectively the cutest little kids you've ever seen, even though you may be a teensy bit biased. Nonetheless the twins wonderfully compliment each other like the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, which is sorta expected- they literally have the same DNA.

Time has flown by, with your kids entering first grade. Hina's a little clumsy, still falling over her own feet despite having fine tuned her motor skills for the past four years, but luckily Haru's always there to pick her up and wipe the dust from her knees. Even so, your kids are kids, and often bicker and quarrel with each other. Often did you find yourself dragging one twin to a corner of the house whilst Jungkook drags the other somewhere else, sitting them down and having that stern mom/dad talk which encouraged them to love and forgive each other (which may be hypocritical because their parents weren't even capable of doing so). A nasty fight had you and Jungkook almost violently tearing your kids away from each other when Haru dropped a banana right in front of Hina's cart in Mario Kart. just when she was about to get second place.

In fact, it had taken a whole week for Haru and Hina to agree on a shared birthday party theme for their sixth birthday. You were convinced that they would never come to a unaninmous agreement, and almost made the plan to go with the "beach" theme, which you really didn't want to do because that was boring. So you were absolutely delighted when they waddled towards you and Jungkook at the dining table and announced that they wanted a Nintendo theme birthday.

It's yours and Jungkook's deep and profound shared love for your children that have you working so hard to make this party a success. The clock reads 3:40 AM, T minus ten hours until the party starts. Albeit, it would have been so much easier to simply hire a professional party planner, but you both felt so much more accomplished doing it yourself. You and your ex husband Jungkook sit on the floor of your living room, systematically reviewing the checklist of tasks that need to be completed before the start of the party. A giant easel with a huge notepad stands in the middle of the room, and you use a fat ass sharpie to write everything down.

"You'll pick up the cake at ten?" you ask, words muffled from the sharpie cap in your mouth.

Jungkook shakes his head. "Namjoon hyung said he'll bring it, so I'm free to help set up the bouncy house when the guys arrive."

You nod, drawing a fat check mark next to the boxes that read 'cake' and 'bounce house'. You falter in your actions before pondering aloud. "Would it be fucked up to ask Jake and Heeseung to pick up the pizza?"

Jake and Heeseung were your kids' babysitters/tutors for when neither you or Jungkook could be home. Hey, your kids didn't have the new iPad 5's for no reason; work had to be accomplished. Jake and Heeseung were still college students, but a relationship based on courteous trust between you and them had flourished, so you and Jungkook both whole heartedly trusted them to watch over the twins. Jake and Heeseung love your kids, and your kids love them- maybe a little too much. Haru exposed Hina's crush on Heeseung, which made her dad have a splitting headache and Hina burst into tears while she rolled around on the carpet.

They are still broke college kids, so you did feel somewhat guilty asking them to participate in the preparations for the kids' party, hence why you're verbalizing the inquiry to Jungkook.

Jungkook's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Why would it be fucked up? We pay each of them fifty dollars an hour, so they better be willing to do us some favors every once in a while."

"You're right, and I know we can count on them. Can you ask them in the groupchat?"

Jungkook does so immediately, and you check off the box that reads 'pizza'. You skim over the other boxes, one reading 'costumes', which refers to the handmade Mario and Princess Peach costumes you ordered. You check the box off, the costumes sitting in a box at the corner of the room.

Face paint? Check. Your friend Miyeon said she was happy and willing to paint the kids' faces. You would just have to reimburse her for the price of the materials.

Yoshi and Bowser mascots? Check. Jungkook's friends Hobi and Jimin were forced agreed to put on the bulky costumes to entertain the kids.

Decorations? Check. You and Jungkook collaborated on a plethora of the cutest DIY decorations- and you were absolutely enthralled with how they turned out. You used old Amazon cardboard boxes to create the item boxes in Super Mario; you used little headbands from the dollar tree to create Mario and Luigi hats for all the guests. AndyYou were particularly proud of the turf you used to create a grass-esque backdrop for the photobooth.

Balloons? Check.

Bubble guns? Check

You plop down on your couch, sinking into the welcoming beige leather of the sofa. "I think we're ready," you mumble aloud, stretching out your poor back muscles that were aching from hunching over.

Before your children's father can even sneak a word in, you’re shifting your body so that your head rests on the armchair, yawning dramatically from the vexing lassitude. “G’night.”

Jungkook smiles bitterly to himself at the sweet sight of you drowsing off.

You're awake just enough to feel him gently lift you bridal style, as if you are as light as a feather before he tiptoes up the stairs, careful not to make any thumping sounds that would wake up the kids. This isn't out of the ordinary. Despite not being together, he found himself carrying you and your children back to your respective rooms quite often. Jungkook often returned home late at night. after a long day of work at Jeon Enterprises, to find you and your little twins asleep on the couch, the TV still playing reruns of Ninjago- the twins' favorite show. Quite frankly he's surprised that they didn't ask for a Ninjago or Lego theme party.

Seeing the way you had each twin snug to your sides, your chest rising and falling while light snores escaped your lips made his heart twist and turn in indescribable ways.

The situation at hand is no different. "Wanna sleep in my room tonight?" Jungkook inquires softly, makes you lazily shake your head. "Too intimate," you sleepily mumble. "We're not together anymore, Koo."

Jungkook bites back a response and silently acquiesces. He walks toward your bedroom instead of his, still with gentle steps to make sure his children don't abruptly wake from their sleep. He gently sets you down on your full sized bed, pulling your thick comforters over your body to shelter you from the cold.

Just as he's about to leave, your fingers are reaching out to tug onto the hem of his oversized black tee. "Just tonight," you murmur, eyes still closed.

Jungkook silently nods, slipping into the bed with you. His breath hitches in his throat when you roll over and lean your head in the crook of his armpit, your hand sneaking up to rest on his chest. The familiar and intoxicating scent of your vanilla body spray debilitates his senses and makes his head dizzy.

It takes him a while to fall asleep that night.

"What the fuck?!" the blaring screech of your voice rapidly pulls Jungkook from his slumber. He rubs the crust from his eyes with a fist before blinking at his panicking baby mama who is pacing around the room.

"Did we- did we sleep together?" you whisper yell, as if your previous scream didn't already wake the kids up.

Jungkook sighs at your overt reaction, knowing that it was too good to be true for you to ever warm up to him. "No," he groggily responds, sitting up and resting his back against the bed frame. "We just fell asleep next to each other," he clarifies, somewhat dejectedly.

You huff, a pointer finger and thumb coming up to massage your pounding temples. "We can't do stuff like that!" you hiss behind gritted teeth, your hands thrown down petulantly, an incredulous look on your face, which just makes Jungkook scoff.

Jungkook pushes the comforters aside, sitting on the edge of the bed where he just buries his face into his palms and groans. "Yes Y/N, this is the worst thing in the world! God forbid that you lie next to the father of your children!" he enunciates exasperatingly, irritated that you are so unnecessarily and dramatically pulling your hair out at the mere idea of falling asleep next to him! Like he hasn't seen you butt naked; like he wasn't front row at the birth of his children.

You shoot him a dirty look. "We are not fighting on the day of our children's birthday party," you say sternly, eyebrows creased to show him how serious you are.

"I wasn't the one that started it," is all he mumbles before exiting the room, shutting the door a teeny bit harder than usual, the echo of door slamming leaving you somewhat shaken up.

"Thank you so much for bringing the pizza," you smile warmly at Heeseung, one of your kids' babysitters, a stark contrast to when you violently snatch the pizza boxes out of his hand and scurry toward the dining room table to arrange the pizzas around the cake.

Heeseung and Jake awkwardly trail behind you, unsure of what to do when you're basically prancing around the house making sure everything is in order.

"The decorations look amazing Ms. L/N," Jake speaks up, marveling at the Nintendo theme party you've successfully put together. You really are satisfied with how everything turned out. From the giant blow up Mario water slide that cascades into the pool to the mini mushroom cake pops, everything is as pretty as planned. The dining table looks spectacular, the grass back drop you DIY-ed is behind a huge neon sign that reads Happy Birthday Haru and Hina! in the same font as the Super Mario logo.

The kids have yet to arrive, only your and Jungkook's friends are spread around the house; some sit at the coffee tables, others lounged around the couch, Hoseok and Jimin in the upstairs bathroom trying to squeeze themselves into their costumes.

"Thank you," you smile sweetly at the two boys. "Honestly I put so much into it I'm starting to feel like it's my party, but I'm really happy with how it turned out."

Heeseung and Jake politely chuckle along to your attempt of a cordial joke; they had to do stuff like that in order to kiss your ass. After all, you did bless them with a very generous fifty dollars per hour pay rate.

"We have a gift for the kids, by the way," Heeseung adds, holding up and presenting two identical chrome gift bags in his hands.

You shoot them a mother like smile. "Thank you so much, guys. The kids are so lucky to have you in their lives," your words trail off and your attention inevitably shifts to the contents of the gift bag. "May I ask what you got them?" you whisper, the side of your palm on the right end of your mouth so that no one would overhear the shamless inquiry.

"Oh, of course," Jake responds, polite as always. "Just a barbie doll for Hina and some pokemon cards for Haru," he elaborates, a gentleman-like smile on his lips.

"Sorry Ms. L/N, we know it's not much but-"

You don't mean to cut Heeseung off with your hasty actions, but you are just so relieved. All yours and Jungkook's friends are so insistent in spoiling the shit out of your kids. A humble and simple gift like the one from Heeseung and Jake is what you have been begging God for. Your kids are six years old for goodness' sake! There is no reason for them to have overtly luxurious and brand name items.

Before Heeseung can finish the sentence, you're grabbing the two boys' wrists and dragging them over to the mini bar, where Jungkook's friend Taehyung and your friend Soojin sit, leisurely chatting and taking sips out of Caprisuns that were perfectly arranged on the snack table. Your friends are certainly a spectacle, both dressed up as if they were attending a top class business meeting instead of a children's birthday party. Taehyung's wearing a suit and tie, Gucci shoes on his feet while Soojin's adorned in a pink blazer and mini skirt set. She looks impeccable, and had it been a normal day you would have complimented her, but it's not.

"You see this?" you hold up the gifts dangling from your fingers, waving it in Taehyung's face, the two of them owlishly blinking up at you. "Barbie dolls and pokemon cards are what my kids should be getting on their birthday, not a Chanel wallet or Gucci tie!" you hiss, gesticulating towards the Chanel and Gucci bags that idly sit on the gift table.

Taehyung smirks at you, raising a brow while he teasingly gnaws on the plump of hit bottom lip. Soojin just raises her eyebrows in amusement; their eyes meet each other before they both burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Y/N, you're such a cute mom," Soojin cooes, reaching out to pinch the apples of your cheeks. Taehyung mirrors her actions, standing up and gingerly patting you on the head.

"Relax, girly pop," he teases. "No one will even know that the wallet was three thousand dollars. Your kid's not even gonna use a fucking wallet. Just take it for yourself," he casually shrugs, his suggestion making you roll your eyes.

Taehyung randomly gestures to Heeseung and Jake, looking towards you quizzically to request an elaboration of who the two were. "Y/N, don't tell me you.." he postulates, giving you a look that can only be described as perverse, and you understand exactly what he's implying. "Does Jungkook know about this?"

"Kim Taehyung," you say sternly behind gritted teeth, your mom tone jumping out. You inhale, composing yourself before you continue. "These are Hina and Haru's babysitters. They're both business majors at SNU," you explain.

"Ah, business majors!" Soojin claps her hands in excitement. "Let me tell you about my investment firm," she suggests with a cheshire smile, gesturing for the boys to come closer to chat.

Taehyung makes a psshh sound with his lips. "Don't listen to her. Her shit's plummeting on the NYSE. Let me tell you about Kim Estates. We're a private company- actually we're looking for summer interns next year." He slyly pulls out his business card from his shirt pocket with two fingers.

And of course, Heeseung and Jake are oggling at the sight, internally celebrating that they got plugged into one of the top socialite circles in Korea.

You shake your head, somewhat annoyed and somewhat endeared at your friends' antics. You rush upstairs to check on your kids, who are supposed to be changing into their costumes: a Princess Peach dress for your babygirl, and a Mario costume for your baby boy.

You step into the master bathroom upstairs, absolutely enchanted with the sight in front of you. Haru looks absolutely adorable in his denim overalls, red long sleeve tee, and red Mario hat. The brightest of smiles lights up your face, and you immediately pick him up, peppering his face with sloppy mom kisses on his chubby little face. Thank goodness he's not at the age to be grossed out by his mom's affection, so he just giggles in response.

Your mother steps out of the closet, Hina in her arms. Your daughter looks like the loveliest girl alive in her Princess Peach dress, a golden crown adorned on her cute little head.

"Oh my!" you exclaim, rushing towards her. "My princess looks so beautiful!" you comment. You reach out to her with a vacant hand and enveloping her securely with a single arm, so you had one kid on each side of your body.

Hina wiggles in your arms, pouting at you. "Mommy, I told you I can walk all by myself!"she complains, pouting at you whilst she glares at you with a not-so intimidating glare.

You giggle, setting her down at your feet. "Sorry baby girl, I forgot that you're all grown up now!" you tease.

Haru who practically worships his sister follows her lead, wriggling out of your embrace before standing adjacent to Hina. You don't mind it. You're not the type of mother that lives in the past, the type that constantly reminisces over when the kids were babies. You live in the present, enjoying every moment before it passes.

Your mother kisses her teeth, making a tssk sound with her lips before she shakes her head. "These kids are getting too entitled," she grumbles, both of her hands coming down to gently slap both of the kids in the back of their heads.

"Mom!" you hiss, kneeling down and rubbing your hands on their heads to soothe the pain.

Both of your children remain tight lipped, knowing better than to talk back to their sometimes violent grandmother. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, you suppose, deciding to relinquish any objection against your mom.

"So Heeseung and Jake are already here," you tenderly say, "Go downstairs and hang out until your friends get here."

Hina immediately crimsons, fidgeting in place at the mention of Heeseung, which elicits a snicker from her brother. "I'm going to tell Heeseung hyung you like him today," he mocks, an immature teasing tone in his voice, typical of a six year old.

Hina fumes, jumping down in place with her hands thrown down. "You better not!" she seethes before directing her attention towards you.

"Mommy, tell Haru that he's not allowed to tell Heeseung oppa I like him!" she cries, jumping up and down to prove a point.

You bite your tongue, briefly recalling when you yourself told Heeseung that your daughter harbored a little crush on him. "Haru," you say sternly, "You will not betray your sister. You guys are on the same team," you firmly instruct, eliciting a snobby look from your son.

"Now go downstairs and greet your friends, okay?"

"Okay, mommy!" they chant in unison before racing down the stairs.

Your mother crosses her arms before she lightly exhales. "They're growing up too fast, already knowing what crushes are," she sighs somewhat bitterly. You chuckle lightly, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Times change mom, kids aren't going to act like how I did when I was a kid."

Your mother simply makes the signature tssk sound with her mouth before vacating the restroom. On the way out, she bumps into your bumbling baby daddy, who politely greets her before stumbling into the restroom. When you lay your eyes on him your breath hitches in your throat, because he looks so good. Since the divorce you swore that you would never go back, but he looks so daddy in his white button up, sleeves rolled up to his elbows to show off the tattoos embellishing his forearms.

You're pulled out of your trance by his rambling. "Hina still has a crush on Heeseung?" he hisses, the most mortified haze on his face.

You just shrug, knowing how perplexed he gets at the mere thought of his daughter being romantically involved with somebody. Jungkook paces around the room, grumbling incoherent phrases to himself. "Y/N, should we get new babysitters?" he asks, to which you shoot him an incredulous look.

"No!"

"I just don't want Hina to start loving him more than she loves me, like what the fuck!" he grumbles exasperatingly, which makes you laugh a little.

The harmonious sound of your laughter pulls him from the wormhole of his thoughts. "So this is funny to you?" he satirizes, approaching you as you giggle.

"Yes," you curtly respond, making Jungkook playfully roll his eyes. A brief moment of silence washes over the situation, and you feel the urge to fill the void.

"Look Jungkook," you begin, trailing off a little while you lean against the bathroom counter. "I'm sorry for overreacting this morning. I guess we never really discussed boundaries," you continue, "And-and you are the father of my children so I guess sleeping next to each other shouldn't be that bad- I don't know." You begin rubbing your biceps with your palms, suddenly self conscious of yourself.

Your diffidence softens Jungkook, a familiar ache pounding in his chest. "Hey Y/N, it's okay," he quickly expresses to assuage any insecurities that are bubbling inside of you. He has always been a fool for you. "I think it would be productive to have a conversation about boundaries," he communicates, as polite and sweet as ever. You slowly nod, purposely not replying so that he would have to say something.

"So boundaries?" he ponders aloud, making his way towards you. "Can we hug?" he asks, opening his arms a little, making you pout at the ridiculous question. Nonetheless, you walk into his embrace and wrap your arms around his torso, only momentarily before you step back. "It would be weird if we didn't," you laugh, making him raise a brow.

"What about kissing?"

He asks the question with no particular tone in his voice; he looks serious as ever as he gazes you with his doe eyes, and it makes you gulp. His words have a profound effect on you, making it feel as if your guts are twisting up; you shoot him a firm look to disguise the butterflies bursting in your stomach.

"Jungkook, we can't do this."

"But why not? We live together, have kids together, why can't we?" his eyebrows are furrowed in desperation, and you have to rip your eyes away from the sight in front of you.

"No Jungkook," you calmly explain before inhaling deeply. "We tried before and It-it didn't work out. I don't want our kids to live in a household where their parents are constantly breaking up and getting back together."

Jungkook sighs, sitting on the ledge of the bathtub where he rests his elbows on his thighs. He purses his lips, attempting to conjure a redeemable response.

"Love," you blurt out. "Love. We can't do this because there's no love."

Jungkook slowly raises his head to peer at you. He does it so steadily that it becomes agonizing; you don't want to see the look on his face. When you see him, he just looks defeated. "Do you really feel that way?' he asks, despondency laced in his voice.

You falter momentarily before you look directly at him and nod. He purses his lips before bitterly nodding to himself. "Alright Y/N." And even if your words pierce through him like a bullet, he still speaks with composure and grace. "Let's go downstairs and wait for the twin's friends to arrive. I'll see you there, okay?" He gives you a polite tightlipped smile before walking out of the room.

Once he leaves, a relieving sigh leaves your lips. You know that no matter what Jungkook thinks he feels, his emotions just aren't a direct reflection of reality. You've been with him long tenough to understand that he's mistaking his attachment to you for love. It was only a matter of time for him to realize that the two of you aren't suitable for each other, that it was better for to remain co parents for the sake of your children.

Jumping back into a relationship would only complicate things and exacerbate the situation for the children. You will not let that happen. You recompose yourself, touching up your appearance in the mirror before rejoining the party.

Thankfully, the party goes exactly as planned. This would surely be one for the books, with the kids frolicking through the grass in the backyard with their water guns and Mario hats. Heeseung and Jake served as excellent chaperones/mood makers/life guards, with Hina on Heeseung's shoulders and Haru on Jake's shoulders whilst they sparred in an intense chicken fight. You swore you almost had a heart attack when Tyler, the baby brother of one of Haru's friends leaps into the damn pool. You jumped in with all your clothes on to pick him up and prevent him from drowning.

On top of that, you find Hina's incessant clinging to Heeseung a little excessive. She follows him around like a kicked little puppy, even waiting outside the bathroom while he takes a piss. Poor Heeseung doesn't have it in him to tell Hina to leave him alone, so you have to force Hina to revert her attention to her friends.

The kids absolutely ate the Yoshi and Bowser costumes up, tackling and climbing on poor Jimin and Hoseok as if they were playgrounds. Not to mention that it was absolutely suffocating and hot inside of the costumes.

"Heejoon! Get off poor Yoshi!" Heejoon's mother exclaims, rushing over to practically rip her kid off Hoseok's shoulders. She shoots you an apologetic look, making you laugh.

Towards the end of the party, Miyeon finally pulled out her face painting kit and painted the most beautiful designs on the kids' faces. Hina had a butterflies on the sides of her chubby cheeks, and Haru had the red Spiderman mask on his.

"Oh, try not to sneeze on me when you get your face painted, alright?" Miyeon captures everyone attention when she yells to the long line of children waiting to get her face painted. She wipes off some kid's saliva on her face and presents the kids with a faux smile, not like they'd be able to tell the difference anyways.

Another highlight of the party was when Jungkook's friend Namjoon showed up with his baby girl, Lauren. Unlike Hina and Haru, Lauren is actually a baby- only about five months old and she is the cutest baby you have ever seen in your life. (After Haru and Hina, of course). Lauren really turned out to be the star of the party, everybody crowding around her just to get a glimpse of the kid. You took plenty of photos of your kids with Lauren, pondering when all of Jungkook's other friends would finally have kids of their own. So far it was only Jungkook and Namjoon. You reckon Yoongi may be next since he recently married.

Once all the kids finally leave, you are spent, exhausted from the long and tiresome day that you just lived through. But hey, the all the kids went home in one piece and that's what matters. With much of your gratitude, your friends stick around to help clean up, but you ultimately decide that you would put the real deep cleaning off until tomorrow.

After showering your children and tucking them into bed, you and Jungkook are left sat in his bedroom with the plethora of multi colored gift bags surrounding you. Your friends and your kids' friends' rich parents have spoiled Haru and Hina so much that you the ground isn't even visible.

Jungkook looks equally spent, roughly tugging at the tie that was once neatly tied around his neck. He runs his hand through his hair, exposing his handsome forehead, and you have to force yourself to look away before you start having inappropriate thoughts.

He settles down besides you, leaning against the wall of his bedroom. He holds up a palm, gesturing you to give him a high five, which you gingerly comply to.

"Good job Y/N. You worked really hard today and the party turned out amazing." He offers his utmost kindness and support as he always does, and it's this cordial atmosphere that makes you think that you and he truly are better off as co parents.

You shoot him a confused look. "You did just as much work, Jungkook. Thanks for being such a great father," you grin at him, noticing how his features light up.

He chuckles lightly. "Well, it's our job," he shrugs.

You purse your lips before agreeing. "I think we're pretty good parents," you say half joking, which makes Jungkook laugh.

"Of course we are, the kids have manners, they're provided for, they're healthy- what else could they need?"

"I mean, you're right, but what if we somehow fuck up and cause them some unintentional childhood trauma?" you ponder aloud, which makes Jungkook shoot you a playfully incredulous look. "I highly doubt it," he says. "You're a great mom Y/N, truly. That's why I admire you so much."

His saccharine voice is laced with benignity, making you feel as if colors are bursting in your chest. Is it really necessary for him to be this sweet? He should have told you that you were a great mom and left it at that.

You turn your head just to see that he is already gazing at you with that sincere glimmer in his eyes. It's the same lovestruck look he had on his face at the wedding, honeymoon- the same look he gave you when he first laid eyes on his children. His adam's apple visibly bobs, drawing your attention to his thick neck.

Jeon Jungkook is and will most likely always be the most handsome man you have ever seen.

The thought terrifies you wholeheartedly, but the implication of it is so exciting- so intriguing that you can't help but want to be sucked back into Jeon Jungkook's world. The notion lights a fire in your heart, and your rationality ceases. Your eyes trail up to his eyes, then back down to his mouth, where you subconsciously lick your own lips.

A desperate haze is painted on his face; his eyes are following yours, ignited curiosity adjuring to know what's on your mind. Yet, he cannot bring himself to verbalize his thoughts, too entranced with how utterly beautiful you are.

He exhales slightly, his hot minty breath hitting your face, and that's when you decide fuck it, it wouldn't hurt to give in just once.

You close your eyes and lean in, gently kissing his bottom lip whilst his lips latch on to your top lip. His kisses are so sickeningly sweet, his tongue sneaking into your mouth to make contact with yours. His palm gently raises to cup your cheeks, cradling your face ever so softly while he bestows you with the most languid of kisses. His lips pull you in closer, the cold texture of the buttons on his shirt making you shudder.

You sigh into the kiss, prompting Jungkook to pull you into his lap, which he does with ease. Your legs sneak around his torso, your arms around his neck to be as close to him as possible.

His hands remain wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him. His embrace is so comforting- so secure and familiar that you want to stay in his arms forever.

To your surprise, you aren't nervous; you're eager as ever. You've succumb to the temptation that is Jungkook, and it feels perfect- it feels right, like you're finally home. The sensation of his lips against yours is so familiar, so comforting, so perfect- as if your lips were made to be against his. Despite it being two years since you've kissed him, the two of you make out as if you are professionals at eliciting the sweetest sounds from each other.

The sound of your phone ringing is what draws you away to him, your eyes glancing towards your phone that lights up. "I think Seojun's mother is here to pick up his iPad- he left it here," you explain to which Jungkook just nods.

"Do you want me to hand it to her?" Jungkook asks, slowly and steadily.

The atmosphere is confusing, because the two of you were just making out as if your lips were magnets and now you're speaking awkwardly to each other.

"No, it's okay- um- I can do it," you say, and then you're stumbling out of his lap and walking down the stairs.

#Jungkook x reader #fic recs

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blamerecs · 2 years

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How I Love You | KNJ

Pairing: Namjoon x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: established relationship au, (former author) husband nj; angst, fluff, smut

Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, (sort of) manipulative parent, relationship issues, (diffuculty of) pregnancy talk, sexual content (fingering, breast play, thigh grinding, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 28.3k

Summary: Sometimes distance isn’t a space between two people, but cracks and crevices that build up over time. It’s what you learned after being married to Namjoon all these years. But all it takes is a trip back home and the acknowledgement of what your relationship has become, and the realization that it might be the final puncture that would make everything else break.

A/N: No excuse, just Instagram Namjoon and being husband material. But shoutout to my philosophy professor whose lectures on love and relationships have stuck with me (even if I never actually read Max Scheler’s work), and credits to our brilliant, loveable Namjoon whose words are too beautiful not to write about. This was supposed to be part of a ‘Coming Home: Short Story Collection’ inspired by the guys going home for the holidays but… the holidays passed, my hands slipped, and this happened. I still hope you enjoy it, though!

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#tbr

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blamerecs · 2 years

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campus affairs | jeon jungkook

summary: you transferred to a new college during second semester and you didn’t expect much excitement out for. that’s until jungkook came along and what had struggled to be a friendship was becoming so much more.

warnings: 11.9k. college au. smut. fluff. f2l. y/n is new. Jungkook is kinda tsundere. mutual pining. friendship. college life. bakery fluff. protected sex. make out. groping/fondling. hand job. oral [m]. riding. light dirty talk. very smitten characters.

He didn't say anything for a long moment. Instead he stared at his two friends blankly. They had huge smiles on their faces as they waited for him to respond. He wasn't sure what they wanted him to say but it didn't matter. Nothing came to mind anyway. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know you, he didn't care to, but it's not like he had a reason for it. He didn't have a single reason to tell them no when you've done anything to him. It wasn't even your fault he felt this way, he just did.

Even when you gave him a bright, polite smile he didn't react. You looked down to the other two awkwardly, "It's fine, I can find another group."

"No, we want you here," Sia told you, "Sit, Jungkook's just an asshole but he'll warm up to you."

"It's alright," you told her looking back to Jungkook in confusion and that made him feel bad. He didn't mean to have such a bored expression or make you feel bad. He just didn't like the effort it took into meeting new people. Hence why his closest friends are the two girls he's known since middle school and nobody else.

"Wait," he called out just as you were turning to leave, "Stay."

You looked down to Sia and Yuna who smiled widely pointing to the empty spot next to Sia. Yuna sat across with Jungkook, "Y/n this is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/n. She's new, you would've noticed if you actually went to the lecture today."

"I overslept," Jungkook said with a shrug looking up at the stranger now sitting across from him. Had his friends really befriended you that easy?

They did do it that easy. They were the only ones with an open seat in the lecture hall. When you approached them they were quick to get to know you. It was the second month of the semester and you were transferring Universities. The only reason you did it is because this one provided classes your previous school didn't. When the professor advised you to join a study group Yuna and Sia were quick to invite you to theirs. You didn't expect the other member of the group to be intimidating tatted guy with piercings—not that it looked bad.

"Here's my notes from the unit we just did," Sia said sliding you her laptop letting you type in your email so she could send you the documents. Yuna leaned forward from her spot, "So, any plans tonight?"

"Hm?" You weren't expecting her question considering you'd only met her an hour ago. Yuna smiled, "I asked if you're doing anything tonight? We're going to go out for chicken and Soju. You should join us."

"Yes! You should come with us, we'll go after we're done here and have dinner," Sia added on smiling widely in anticipation. They were like a dose of serotonin Jungkook lacked. Maybe that's why he stuck with them for so long.

"Uh, I don't know..." if it was just the girls you'd say yes. Why wouldn't you want to meet people this quickly? But he was making you debate on going or not. He didn't seem interested in meeting anyone knew and he already didn't look happy letting you into their study group.

Jungkook got up leaving to find a textbook he needed to borrow for reference to an essay he was working on. He roamed the aisle closest to his friends and only looked over when one of them spoke a little too loud. You were smiling now along with them, laughing about something he couldn't hear. Your face lit up when you smiled and it looked genuine. You didn't pay attention to him but Jungkook didn't mind that.

People never expected him to best friends with such lovely girls but that's just how things happened. He was in a rough place in middle school, his parents always fighting, his older sibling moving out, his grades dropping. He was always sad and tired and Yuna was the first to be nice to him. She let him copee her notes, sat with him at lunch and basically befriended him when nobody else did. Then of course Sia came along attached to Yuna and they treated him warmly. He wasn't necessarily a quiet person but he was closed off. He only let certain people in and they were some of them.

This isn't the first time Yuna and Sia have adopted a newbie into their care but they've never stuck around—or one of them would end up crushing on Jungkook and get mad when he's not interested. The only guys that came around wanted just wanted to sleep with them and when Jungkook would tell them off for it they'd leave. He hated hearing guys talk about his friends like that. He wasn't interested in either one of them romantically and he doesn't think he ever has. They're just friends, and they were bringing you along this time.

He wondered if you were gonna be like the last chick they hung out with, Soomin. Sia and Yuna were so nice to her but she didn't care for it. She asked Jungkook out and when he rejected her she was rude to them as if it was their fault. So when he told her off for being a rude bitch apparently he was an asshole. He didn't care, they were like sisters to him. His older brother took care of him so why would he take care of those closest to him?

"I have to work tonight," You had been saying when Jungkook got back to the table. Sia frowned, "Where do you work?"

"A bakery," you told her, "It closes at 9:00 thought since it's a part of a plaza that closes at that time."

"Do you get a lot of customers then?" Yuna asked disregarding her homework leaving Jungkook the only one working surprisingly. You shook your head, "Not really, on slow days we'll get like four customers through the shift and they're usually regulars."

"Tell us the name and we'll stop by some day," She said to you and you did just that.

The second time he saw you was during class, when he actually managed to show up. You were sitting on the inside of the row while Yuna sat at the end of it with Sia. He had to make his way through to get to the empty seat next to you.

"Surprise, surprise," Sia said leaning forward to look at him, "Somebody finally made it to class."

"Don't get used to it," Jungkook said with a huff making his cheeks round as he looked to you for a quick moment. You stood out to him in a pink knitted vest and shoes that matched in color. You wore gold jewelry and your lashes looked long, for some reason that gave you a more enticing look. You turned suddenly, catching him in the act of staring.

"Do you have a pencil I can borrow?" He asked hoping that would cover his awful attempt at being discreet. You opened up your pencil pouch shaped like a caterpillar with antennas and began searching for it. You pulled out two mechanical pencils biting your lips nervously, "Sorry, this is the only one I have unless you want to write with a pink pen."

He looked at the purple mechanical pencil with lavender hearts on it and a heart-shaped eraser. Down on your desk space was a matching pink mechanical pencil that must've been from the same pack and he took it. He had to keep his cover story straight so you wouldn't think he's weird for staring. He studied the pencil, it was cute and he didn't feel embarrassed using it. Every now and then he'd look over and catching you writing with the matching pink one. Sometimes he'd see you two if against your lip when you read something. Throughout the lecture he used the purple pencil, even used the heart eraser a couple times. He got some weird stares from some guys but when they saw yours they shrugged it off probably thinking it was a couple thing.

After class you packed up your things before he did and before he could give it back to you, you were rushing out the class late for another early lecture. With a small sigh he put the pencil in his black backpack and left with Sia and Yuna. The pencil looked ridiculous with his black and white school supplies but it added a pop of color.

"We should go to Y/n's work," Yuna said after her last class when she met up with Sia and Jungkook at the bus stop, "I wanna try whatever pastries they have there."

"Yes! I want to try some too, wanna come with?" Sia asked turning to Jungkook. He thought about it for a second. He could either go home and have some ramen, or he could go try some dessert. Never one to turn down food he hopped on the bus heading toward a different direction than his apartment.

In reality he didn't have to ride the bus. He had a nice Mercedes Benz waiting in his family home's parking garage left unused. His father bought it for him when he was old enough to get a license but Jungkook never uses it. It'd be another thing he's reminded of, how his family controls everything in his life. How they'll use it against him when he doesn't do what they say and he's just not interested in that. Instead he used his allowance for a bus pass and at least that way he can ride with Sia and Yuna whenever.

The bakery you worked at was very warm, it smelled delicious and it was pretty. That's what Jungkook noticed first. The glass cases were lit up with a yellow hue that illuminates whoever stood behind it and currently that was you wearing a cream colored apron and your hair pinned back. You smiled at the group who you'd gotten acquainted with this past week. Even surprised to see Jungkook had willingly come here when he's been pretty closed off.

Not that you minded him being more serious around you. You've heard stories from Sia and Yuna and they always made him way more lively than he is around you. You wondered if you made him uncomfortable or annoyed but this morning he asked for a pencil and the only one you had was covered in hearts. Still though, he used it and it felt like a triumph. He was clearly a private person and you had just recently started hanging out with the other two so there's not much you can say on that matter.

"Hey," you said when they got to the counter after checking the place out. There was a couple at a table and a few high school students at another but beside that it wasn't busy at all. Sia looked down at the bakery case, "I need you to tell me what's the best thing here before I buy everything."

"And she will," Yuna said peering into it too. Jungkook hovered over them taking a peak too, practically tasting the pastry on his tongue. You pointed to the one you liked and they each ordered one and Jungkook ordered a second too. "Can you sit with us for a while or do you have to stay behind the counter?" Yuna asked once they paid with your employee discount added in.

"I can but if someone goes up I have to go look," you said leading them to a round table leaving you between Jungkook and Sia. "This place is so cute, do you have to close alone?" Sia asked you as she cut a slice into the pastry.

"Yeah but it's not hard, it's just pretty dark by the time I'm off," you said with a shrug. You had a full ride scholarship so you really only worked for your housing and food but even that wasn't too expensive. You lived in a pretty cheap old apartment but it was close to your new school and you didn't usually get that many groceries. You worked three days out of the week and once on the weekends so with that plus tips you were making it. Unfortunately that just meant you didn't have much spending money and you had to work longer shifts when you were done with classes.

"Do you walk home?" Jungkook asked suddenly, speaking to you finally aside from when ordered his pastry. You shook your head looking back to him and the big forkful of cake he was holding up. He shoved it in his mouth waiting for an answer from you.

"I usually catch the bus," you told him making his brows furrow. The bus is like a ten minute walk from the shopping plaza and that meant you had to walk to it alone at night.

"That's scary," Sia piped in, "Please be safe when you're closing up."

"When do you work?" Jungkook asked looking at you again like he was concerned but you probably saw wrong. You told him your schedule which was usually Monday's, Wednesday's, Friday's and sometimes Saturday's. He nodded his head in acknowledgement looking back to his pastry as he finished the first one already reaching out for the second.

It's not that he should worry or anything but then he thinks about Sia and Yuna. They're like sisters to him and if either of them got off work so late then he'd be concerned about their safety. He didn't know you well but he couldn't imagine you walking home alone and some creep approaching you. He can remember your schedule, that way Yuna and Sia will feel more at ease knowing you won't walk home alone. Yeah that's it, it's for them not to worry.

"That was literally amazing, how do you work here without eating everything?" Sia asked as she finished up her pastry. You gave her a smile, "After a while it gets tiring but when we have extra dessert usually I'll take it home. I can take you some if you'd like, they'd only be a day old."

"Please!" They said unanimously. Just then the wind chime above the door rang and a gust of wind hit the table making you stand up lifting a finger to them motioning for them to give you a second. You left to the counter feeling a tug on your arm when you were walking making you whip around in surprise.

A smile spread across his face, "Not even gonna say hi?"

Your eyes widened, "Tae Tae!" Your arms flew around his neck suddenly making him stumble back a step as he caught you by the waist. The three you'd gotten to know stared in confusion and surprise as you and the handsome stranger started talking.

"You think that's Y/n's boyfriend?" Sia asked turning to the other two. Jungkook studied the guy a little closer, he seemed warm and friendly compared to him. Jungkook shrugged as he turned to look out the window lit up by large bulb string lights. Yuna nodded, "Probably. Y/n's pretty and that guy is hot. Did you see the way they greeted each other?"

He looked back to the two at the register. Was that your type? He looked like the artistic type, the kind who'd spend his time listening to jazz music and enjoying a piece of art. Jungkook preferred working out, music, photography and sometimes painting. It really depended on his mood. He couldn't deny how soft the man looked compared to Jungkook's harder exterior.

"Guys this is my most bestest friend in the entire world, Taehyung these are my new classmates," you introduced him like a pepperoni pizza with too much pepperoni [lil Caesar's lol]. Taehyung have a subtle wave as he looked over the trio as you said their names.

"Did you come all the way here to surprise Y/n?" Sia asked curiously but Taehyung just shook his head no. "I was in the area and stopped by."

"He would never go out of his way to see me. He doesn't care about me," you joked as you sat back down with the group looking back to him, "Pull up a chair." Taehyung shook his head, his hand going to the top of your head, "I've gotta catch the Subway but thanks for the food, Ugly."

"Because you're so cute, right?" You glared looking up at him but he only smiled. "I am."

"Anyways, it was nice meeting you, please take care of Y/n, she's a little slow," Taehyung joked making you smack his arm as he pulled it away from your head. He did a quick wave goodbye and left.

"Oh my God, be honest, is he your boyfriend?" Yuna rushed to speak. Your brows furrowed before a look of disgust crossed your face, "Ew, no. We met in an art study class freshman year of College and we became friends since."

"You're an art major? How didn't we know that?" Sia asked making you shrug. "Because we only take prerequisite courses together and since I've only been here a week and a half I haven't had a project yet?"

Jungkook wasn't fully listening anymore. His eyes were staring out the window where the guy had walked past. So you weren't dating him but you were obviously close enough for him to stop by here. How was he not worried about how late you'd be getting off if he's supposed to be your friend?

"We'll wait for you to close so we can all head home together," Yuna said checking the time. Jungkook nodded in agreement even if he didn't say anything.

"Jungkook! I said you have to go!" Sia yelled at him the following Friday night. Even though you had to work today you didn't have to close the bakery and got off a little earlier. Once your new friends found out they asked to come over for some drinks and food which was currently what you were doing. You're out of Soju so you all did rock paper scissors to see who would buy and Jungkook lost against the three of you. Now you were all arguing.

"I don't even know where the store is here!" Jungkook said making you sighed. "I'll just go," you said standing up using the coffee table for support. Sia pulled on your pants, "No, he lost he has to go. He's just complaining."

"It's fine, the store's just a couple streets down," you told her watching her let go of you so you could go get your wallet and put your shoes on. With an annoyed huff Jungkook was getting up too, "I'll go with then, that way you can show me which store is closest."

"Ooh can we snoop your art while you're gone?" Yuna asked pointing to the spare room you had filled with art canvases. You nodded letting them go and do that while you waited for Jungkook to finish getting his shoes on, "I can go by myself."

"I lost so I should be going by myself," he shrugged but he didn't tell you to stay behind. He held the door open for you as you left down the hall toward the elevator, neither really saying anything. When you got down to the front entrance you hadn't expected it to be so windy out. You hugged your arms to your chest for warmth and began leading the way to the convenience store late at night.

"Are you cold?" He asked after a minute or two of watching you shiver. You looked back to him shaking your head no. It made him laugh softly before he was coming to a halt making you stop too. You watched as he reached for the back of his hoodie pulling it forward until it was slipping off. "Wear this," he said holding it out to you revealing a white long sleeve shirt.

"Won't you be cold?" You asked moving out of reach so he couldn't hand it to you. He told you no but you were still reluctant to take it. Jungkook has slowly been warming up to you but you can't say you're as close with him as you are with Sia and Yuna. Sure, the four of you were in a group chat and study group together, and often times had lunch together but he didn't talk to you that much.

You face forward to walk again but you didn't even make it a step forward when something thick and warm was being draped over your head covering you in a scent of expensive cologne. Your hands went up to fight his hold as he pulled the hoodie down for your head to peak out. You turned to glare at him as he finished slipping the oversized hoodie on you letting you poke your arms into the sleeves. He cleared his throat as he took a step away from you suddenly shy with how forward he'd been. His fist covered his mouth as he looked away from you, "Isn't that better?"

"Are you sure you won't be cold?" You asked adjusting the hoodie to fit you better but it was no use. It was too big and it smelled just like him. You shamelessly brought the front to your nose, "You smell really good. What do you use?"

"Yves Saint Laurent," he told you, cheeks flushing red along with the tip of his nose walking next to you again. He caught you taking another whiff of the hoodie and it had him pulling his sleeve to his nose to see if he still had the scent on him. The store was in a more populated section of your neighborhood with more store fronts lit up and he held the door open for you to go in.

The hoodie reached about your mid thigh and the sleeves were way too long so you kept having to slide them up.

He grabbed a basket letting you fill it with snacks before going to the liquor section. "Have you ever had cinnamon caramel ice cream?" You asked him suddenly as you stood in front of a freezer filled with ice cream.

"No," he said simply watching you open the door and pull out a pint of the ice cream and dropping it into the basket. Once you had the Soju the two of you headed over to the register. You fumbled with your wallet reaching into the too big front pocket of the hoodie as the cashier finished ringing your total up and when you finally got it out Jungkook was tapping his phone against the machine.

"Have a good night," the female cashier said with starry eyes as she stared at Jungkook. He took the bags before you could reach for them and it had you tugging him back, "I'll help you."

He shook you off making you whine, stomping a foot in the process, "You paid, let me help you."

"No," he said as the two of you stepped back out, "If you want to help you could grab the ice cream and let me try it."

He liked how expressive you were. You didn't shy away from touch or stop yourself from saying things that were on your mind like when you told him his perfume smelled great. You proceeded to smell his hoodie, and ultimately him, maybe he should wear it more often. You also had lively reactions compared to his monotonous ones. It was like a breath of fresh air and when the wind picked up your hair making you fight to tame it, it made you look prettier than usual.

"You're gonna love it, it's so good," you reached for the small plastic spoon that came with the pint and popped the lid open. You scooped up a decent amount going to hand it to him. Jungkook tried sliding the bags down his wrists but they were heavy. You held the spoon out to him, "Here."

He bit his lip in thought as the two of you stopped. He looked down to the spoon before bending his knees so he was eye level with you and let his mouth open slightly. You pushed the spoon past his lips and as they close around the plastic his eyes locked on yours. Your brows raised, "Well?"

He stood straight again swallowing the small bite he took ignoring the sudden race in his heart before nodding, "It's good."

"Told you so," you smiled as you took a bite for yourself. The walk back to your apartment was quiet aside from the time you'd bring the spoon to his lips to give him a taste.

Jungkook noticed early on that he was really seeing you as a friend. He found himself caring about you the same way he cared about Yuna and Sia. The main difference is he found himself thinking about you even more than necessary. He wasn't sure what it was but you had managed to weasel your way closer to him and he was definitely happy about that.

He'll admit, he did get a little more protective with you when others came around. He wasn't vocal about it but he hovered like he was doing now but with Sia and Yuna.

"Thanks again for letting me borrow your study guide, some guy, Jimin, said catching up with the four when they had gotten back from lunch. Now you were standing a few feet away from them talking to Jimin, "Let me treat you to a meal. When are you free?"

"Oh, um," you didn't know what to say. It's not that you wanted to turn him down but honestly you're so busy with catching up with the semester and work. You bit your lip in thought, "How about I give you my number so we can plan?"

"Do you think he's her type?" Jungkook asked the other two curiously. Don't ask him why he was curious, he just was. Sia shrugged, "Isn't Park Jimin everyone's type?"

"They've been talking a while, should we just go?" Jungkook asked slightly bothered by the fact that you were still talking. You and him had class together next and he wanted to leave already.

"Why? Is it bother you that they're talking? You seem awfully interested in those two," Yuna pointed out making Sia nod in agreement. Jungkook rolled his eyes in time to see you and Jimin say your goodbyes.

"We're gonna be late," Jungkook said when you finally caught up to them. You signed, "I know, sorry."

"It's alright," he said as you two split from Sia and Yuna, "How did it go with Jimin?"

He looked over to you as the two of you walked down the stairs heading toward another prerequisite course you shared.

You gave a shrug, "It was fine I guess. I always feel bad when someone asks me out because I seriously don't have time unless it's last minute."

"Isn't that kind of worse?" Jungkook asked, holding the door to the hall open for you so the two of you could sit in for your next class, "Like always having to tell people you can't hang out if they message you last minute?"

You shook your head, "I mean, like I'm the one making plans last minute. I rarely have free time so when I do, it's unplanned and I end up just hoping someone wants to spend time with me."

He nodded in understanding. He didn't have the same type of busy schedule as you did. Frankly, he just didn't have to pay for school, or anything else. Maybe he was just spoiled but his parents pay for everything including a luxury apartment and a Mercedes Benz.

He already knows that he doesn't have to worry about work and supporting himself so he has way too much free time. He wishes he could understand you better but he also didn't want to act like he did because he didn't. He didn't have to work to feed himself or keep a roof over his head while attending college full time. But, in a sense, if you ever did randomly ask him to hang out because you had time off, he'd be free whenever.

You hated yourself for thinking Jungkook was so unbelievably attractive. It wouldn't be such a problem if he wasn't your friend but because he was you didn't want to think that. Despite it being close to midterms you've yet to meet that many people aside from Yuna, Jungkook, and Sia.

You didn't want to lose a friend just because you started catching feelings for Jungkook. How awful would that be.

You were too busy cleaning the inside of the muffin case to pay attention to the wind chimes, barely muttering a greeting at the customer who came in. Jungkook smiled a little at the fact you were clearly stepping on a step stool to be able to reach the case, "You open?"

You looked over, a smile spreading across your lips, "What if I say no?"

"Then I guess I'll just have to come back another time," he walked over to where you were passing a couple college students doing homework. He leaned against the front counter smiling warmly, "Hey."

"Hey," you breathed out finally getting down from the stepping stool, "What are you doing here? Came for more cake?"

"And other things," he shrugged looking down at the warm cases, "I was in the area and I had a feeling you'd be closing tonight. I had a sudden craving for some carrot cake and I figured since it's late I can just wait for you to close so I can walk you home."

"Well isn't that sweet of you?" You asked already sliding the glass and grabbing parchment paper to pick up the carrot cake with white frosting and a chocolate orange carrot on top, "Also, this carrot is so you."

"Am I supposed to know what you mean by that?" He asked walking over to the register watching you put the slice of cake on a small plate. He waited for you to ring it up but you didn't, instead sliding it over to him as you said, "You've got bunny teeth, did you know that? And you scrunch your nose a lot."

"Wow, and here I am trying to seem tough while you're comparing me to a fur ball," he sighed dramatically waiting for you to lift the counter top and join him at a table, "What color bunny?"

You didn't hesitate when you said, "Black."

He scrunched his nose in response, "That's fitting. Want me to tell you yours?"

"Have you been thinking about it?" You asked as he cut a small piece of cake with his fork and offered it to you. He nodded, "For the past two minutes, yeah."

"Cat," he said simply, "But personality wise? Puppy?"

"Why puppy?" You asked swallowing the bite of cake he'd given you. He shrugged, "Sometimes you're energetic and it's cute."

You tried finding a proper response without sounding flirty and when you came up blank you were lucky enough to be saved by the wind chimes. You left him at the table to go work and he sat back watching you.

Why did he feel different with you compared to how he felt around Sia and Yuna, speaking of which...

yuna: I'm hungryyyyyyyyy

jungkook: what's that gotta do with me

yuna: bring me food I'm on campus

jungkook: can't

jungkook: I'm walking y/n home

jungkook: there's a cafe by the bus stop

yuna: boo u whore

yuna: y didn't u invite me

jungkook: idk

He waited outside the shop while you finished closing. It was dark and cold out so he made sure to double layer in case you forgot a sweater again. When you came out he watched you double check the door was closed before turning to him with a smile. "Put your hand out."

"Huh?" He asked lifting his hand, "Wh—". You placed a pink hand warmer in his tatted hand making him stutter. "So your hands don't get cold obviously," you said taking yours out of your pocket.

"Well aren't you the sweetest?" He chuckled as he examined it better. It was actually white with a soft pink pattern. He looked at yours and yours was the same but opposite.

"Since you let me borrow your hoodie," you said making him chuckle. "Borrow? I haven't gotten it back, I think you stole it."

"Technically not steal, you knew I had it," you played along knowing he wasn't serious about it.

After some time of walking in comfortable silence it had to be interrupted by his phone. He couldn't hold in the deep sigh as he took his phone out reading his screen.

You didn't mean to snoop but when you turned to look at him you got a good read at whoever was calling him. It was a guy with 'hyung' added to the name. You watched him put his phone away holding his hand warmer a little tighter. It wasn't even a minute later that it was ringing again. Once again he hung up the call and once again it was ringing.

"Sorry, it's uh, it's my older brother," he huffed in annoyance as he tries locking his phone only to receive yet another call.

"Maybe you should answer it," you shrugged walking ahead a little so he could have some more privacy. With a sigh he clicked answer, "Hello?"

"Finally you're done ignoring me," his older brother JungHyun said clearly annoyed, "Dad is asking if you'll be attending for dinner tomorrow. Park Jisoo will be present."

Jungkook couldn't resist the roll of his eyes at the mention of the woman. Jisoo was someone his parents deeply wished he'd date. Her father is a CEO of an entertainment business that works closely to his family's tech business. Since they were kids they've been around each other in hopes that some day they'd marry and expand both business. Clearly that isn't happening if Jungkook has anything to do with it.

He looked over to you who was walking a couple feet in front of him and suddenly he wanted to get off the phone so he didn't have to hear about Jisoo. "Why? Are we having dinner with her?" he cleared his throat awkwardly looking back to you, "Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow."

With that he ended the call before his brother could say anything else releasing a deep sigh. You looked over to him with curiosity, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he smiled already catching sight of the bus stop across the street. He looked toward you, eyes landing on your red puffy nose from the cold, "You know I bundled up in case you needed an extra layer."

"Hm?" You stared at him as he held out his sleeve. "I even put extra perfume on for you. See?"

You tried ignoring the sudden race of your heart beat as he pressed the sleeve into your nose trapping warmth so the redness could go down. He was treating you how he treats Sia and Yuna. That means he sees you as a close friend, right? You moved his arm away holding him by the sleeve, "Smells expensive."

He smiled as he held you back from crossing the street unaware of the car coming by, "What would you do without me?"

Once you two were on the bus he sat down next to you keeping you against the window, "So what did your brother want?" You asked turning to look at him better. From behind you a couple girls were being a little too loud with their comments about Jungkook's looks and that made you smile trying to hold back a laugh.

"Oh, he wanted to know if I'd be attending family dinner this Friday," His teeth played with his lip ring as he looked you over.

Your brows furrowed, "He was blowing up your phone for that?"

"I guess, knowing my father he probably told my brother to make sure I go," Jungkook said honestly. You were quiet for a moment leading him to believe he might be over sharing. He knew there was nothing you could really respond with and that made him nervous. He doesn't share a lot about himself much less his family and he probably threw you off. You smiled, "If you eat something really good you better get me something from there."

He laughed a little catching the light hearted tone, "I'll smuggle something in my pocket."

"Ew no, then my food's gonna taste like expensive perfume," you said making him push you playfully toward the window.

Jungkook didn't even try and act interested in anything that happened over dinner the following Friday. With his phone under the table he was too busy reading messages in the group chat along with having an entirely separate conversation with you.

"Jungkook, Jisoo was saying something, I'm not sure if you heard," his mother had said. They were having dinner in a private room on the top floor of a hotel. It was a large circular table with his parents, his older brother and his fiancé, him, and for some reason Jisoo and her mother.

He looked up clearly bored with the dinner, "Mind repeating that?"

It's not that he completely hated Jisoo it's just that he knew she was in genuine. He's known her for a long time and she's not the saint she acts like in front of his parents. She wants to be in their good graces and Jungkook didn't like that. He didn't like being forced to spend time with someone he doesn't care for. She's a snob and he's seen the way she treats certain people in her life. She's beautiful, sure but he doesn't like her personality.

"Who has you so focused on your phone?" His father asked in clear annoyance that Jungkook mirrored. Well, currently he was talking to only you. "Y/n."

"Who?" JungHyun asked. Jungkook shrugged, "A friend."

"Well if she's anything like the other two always following you around, then I'm sure you can find better company," his mother said making Jungkook huff. "You don't even know her."

Ignoring him, his mother turned to Jisoo and her mother, "I have no doubt in my mind his new friend is only after him for money. He loves to take on charity cases. I try and tell him time and time that he needs to be careful over who he keeps close."

Jungkook couldn't stop the grind of his teeth. His mother had a tendency to act like this, make up her own assumptions and completely disregard her children and their wants. He didn't mind being bashed on, but there was no way he'd allow his friends to be bashed on too. Suddenly, he pushed his chair out raising to his feet. Everyone turned to him, "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Jungkook said firmly as he looked at his parents in particular. His hyung shook his head in disapproval, "Jungkoo—"

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to her make her own assumptions about Y/n," Jungkook said honestly, a little surprised by his own words, "She doesn't even know about any of this. Unlike some people, money isn't everything."

His father made a sound similar to a snicker, "Jungkook, sit down. You're being disrespectful and I won't allow it. We have invited Jisoo and her mother to dinner and I won't let you ruin it."

"Jungkook, aren't you hungry?" Jisoo asked suddenly, "I'm sure they're only looking out for your best interest. Why don't we finish up dinner."

He scoffed, "You think you know them better than I do? They don't care about my best interest, they care about theirs."

"I'm sorry mother but I'm not going to let you insult my friends and force me to hang out with people I don't care for," he was rude. He knows it, but something about his mother's comments about you drove him mad. To top it off, Jisoo has the nerve to butt in and agree with his mom. As if either one of them knew his friends or you. If they got to know you they'd know you're hard working. You're humble and admiring. He's the one who always feels self conscious because you were clearly more independent than he was. But his mom has the nerve to say you're only his friend because of his money. When you didn't even know he was a chaebol!

He didn't give them much time to respond when he was already out the door. He was surprised with himself. He hasn't felt this defensive of his friends since he was a kid but then you came along. He clearly cares about you. But why does it feel so different from how he feels about Sia and Yuna?

They're the ones who got him through his family problems but you're the one he's trying to be closer with to ease his anxiety. Wait, stop, you're friends. You've said it before, you don't have time for much else. He doesn't need to scare you off with how clingy and touchy he can be when he's into someone.

Pause. Is he into you? Is that what this is all about? Can everyone see it but him? Is that why everyone was extra hostile tonight? He can't remember the last time he liked someone. He tries to steer clear of relationships because of his family and if he ever has flings they're lowkey. The second his mother started bashing on his friends, you in particular, he couldn't take it anymore. Usually, he's able to sit there and ignore them but this was different. They didn't even know you. How could he not get upset and defensive? Would Yuna and Sia be mad if he was into you? Oh God, he's crazy into you.

On Monday you got to campus later than usual, you were running late and already having a hectic morning. When you got to class, the lecture hall was practically filled aside from one spot near your friends and it had Jungkook's backpack on it.

"We saved you a seat," Sia exclaimed once you made it through the filled row. You smiled at her looking down to Jungkook as he slid his backpack off it pulling it down for you to sit.

"Hey," he said softly. His elbows had been pressed against the table with his hands in fists over his mouth almost shyly as he looked at you with sparkly eyes. You smiled, "Hey."

On his notebook was the purple mechanical pencil that matched your own. You pointed it out, "I like your pencil."

"I like you—r, yours too," he stuttered out immediately dropping his head in embarrassment. Snap out of it, Jungkook, you're friends. Why is it that all of a sudden he's acknowledged his feelings for you? Now he's nervous around you for no reason. Sia looked over at you, "Do you work today?"

"No, I switched shifts for a coworker. I work tomorrow," you told her already taking your things out, "Why?"

"I was gonna come visit you after I got off," she said with a sigh, "I was really craving some scones. Do you still wanna go?"

"It's awkward going to work when I'm not scheduled," you said with a little laugh, "And some of my friends are coming down for dinner."

Yuna hit Sia's arm playfully, "I said I'd go with you. Jungkook? Are you craving any of that carrot cake?"

"Not today," Jungkook nipping at his bottom lip nervously. Your friends were coming down to visit and he wondered if that meant that guy, Taehyung.

The topic was dropped and you tried focusing on the class and not Jungkook. You didn't want to stare at him like a creep but you noticed something was off about him. After class when the other two were too distracted to notice, Jungkook pulled you to the side. His hand was on your wrist keeping you in front of him and it wasn't until you looked down at the hold that he let go shyly.

"Should I pick you up from work tomorrow? Do you close?" He asked. You gave him a warm smile, "I do close but you don't have to pick me up. It's probably a hassle for you."

"I don't mind."

You nodded, "Alright, I'll bring your hoodie to you."

"You don't have t—bye!" He rushed when you started heading out the class waving goodbye to him and the others. With a deep, dejected sigh he turned back to the other two, surprised when he caught them staring at him clearly amused. Yuna spoke first, "Well, aren't you desperate?"

"He can't hide his feelings even if he wanted to," Sia laughed as they began walking out. Fuck, he knew they'd catch on fast.

In the evening when you went out for dinner with your friends you kept thinking about Jungkook. Why was he so cute today? You've never seen him act shy or nervous and yet today he was. You're not sure why but it was surprisingly cute. Seeing a guy who looked as intimidating as him act shy.

"Look at Y/n, she's got new friends and doesn't care about us anymore," your friend Yoongi joked after dinner. You were all sitting at the table still, trying to reel back down from how full you all felt.

"Honestly," Taehyung agreed looking over to you, "What are you thinking about?"

"My midterm project," you lied even though you did actually have to decide what it was going to be. You already bought a canvas and the right brushes but you're still iffy on the idea.

jungkook: want to watch a movie on friday after ur off

jungkook: or will u be too busy

you: what kind of movie

jungkook: what do u like

you: horror

jungkook: horror it is :)

jungkook: I'll buy the tix

you: are sia and yuna coming?

jungkook: they can if u want

you: it's ok

you: sometimes I like it when it's just kenskakamkas

"Hey!" You reached for your phone as Jin snatched it from you. Jin pressed his palm into your face to keep you away, "Y/n's too busy planning a date."

Your face reddened, "It's not a date. We're just friends."

Jin rolled his eyes, "Oh really?" He handed the phone back and you read the final text.

jungkook: ?

jungkook: it's a date then

"There," Jungkook said with a sigh as he showed his phone to the girls. Sia cheered, "Atta boy, Kook. I knew something was up with you the second you met Y/n."

"Same, he's like a puppy now just trailing after her. Are you forgetting us?"

On Friday, Jungkook was in front of your work standing next to a Mercedes Benz that made your brows furrow, "This is your car?"

"Uh yeah," Jungkook cleared his throat nervously once you were in, "I don't really use it since I live close to campus and parking is a pain."

"Expensive perfume. Expensive clothes. Expensive car. Are you secretly a chaebol?" You asked jokingly but his silence made the smile wipe off your face. But he had tattoos and piercings and he seemed so care free. Well, except the time he talked about his family. Why didn't you connect the dots? He looked slightly uncomfortable now as if you said something he didn't like so you tried to change the subject.

"So what movie are we watching?" You asked buckling yourself in, "I'll buy snacks since you got the tickets."

He shook his head releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding, "Can't I treat you to this? You never answered when I said it was a date. Did you think I was kidding?"

"Wow Kook, I didn't realize you'd be so forward," you teased but he seemed not to be as playful tonight, more nervous than everything else.

"Uh, is that okay? That it's a date or... you know. I was just thinks because I, uh, I mean I like talking to you and-"

"Why wouldn't it be okay?" You asked cutting his rambling off. He looked over to you as he drove which only made you smile. When you got to the concessions you still offered to pay but he didn't let you. He ordered one of everything before the two of you went to the right theatre.

"If you're scared don't worry, I'll protect you," he said playfully now as he led you to your seats. You rolled your eyes, "I think you'll be more scared than me."

"Will you hold me if I'm scared?" He smirked, his mood improving from earlier, nerves going back down so he didn't feel as anxious. You nodded going along with the light flirting, "Are you always this cheesy?"

"Not usually, is it bad?" He asked digging into the popcorn before lifting it to you so you could eat from his hand making you laugh a little. You leaned into him, "You're wearing the perfume again."

"Just for you," he said reaching into his pocket for a small roller of the same perfume holding his hand out until you handed him your hand. He twisted it open before rolling the scent onto your hand, "Now we'll both be wearing it."

"Wow, I've never worn YSL perfume," you said honestly in short whispers since the movie started. He smiled a little, it was like this was your signature scent. Like for the both of you now. He'll make sure to get you some since you like it so much.

After the movie the two of you had a good discussion on the movie but nothing else. Clearly there were other stuff to talk about but you both were trying to keep it from getting awkward. You were alone in his car but you were still nervous to speak up, "I had fun, did you?”

"Of course," he smiled warmly as he reached out a hand to touch yours, "I know this might seem too forward but I’m really liking getting to know you more. At first I know I was pretty stand offish, it just takes me a while to open up to people. "

"Yeah, I figured but if it means anything, I’m glad I’m getting to know you more too," you answered letting your hands touch more by pressing yours into his. He smiled at that, "That's good."

"I know you’re busy a lot but what do you say about having more of these little dates?" Jungkook asked as he pulled up to your apartment. You didn’t anything as you began unbuckling your seat belt. You were thinking, obviously you had an attraction toward him but you had no clue he felt the same. On top of that, he’s suddenly done a big shift from how cold he used to be to how warm he’s been lately. After your silence became too much for him, he was calling out to you again, "Y/n?"

“Yes?” You responded back. He gave a soft smile, “If you want to just be friends… I won’t be upset. I mean I will but I also understand.”

“I don’t want to just be friends,” you said honestly. You liked hanging out with Jungkook too much. You didn’t notice it at first but maybe you just liked him too much. His lip was pulled between his teeth and you couldn't help but look down at them. He wanted to kiss you so damn bad. One hand was on the steering wheel and before he knew it the other was coming up to cup your jaw. Instantly you were leaning closer as he craned his neck toward you and then it happened.

Your lips met, barely brushing against each others and it had both of you inching back but his hand never left your face. Should the two of you just go for it? You've only known him for a few weeks but clearly there was something going on between you two? Even if he had been cold toward you that was only in the beginning. It happened again, this time more purposeful.

His lips pressed against yours parting them slightly and you were melting into the touch. Your tongue swiped against his lip ring making him release a deep breath through his nose and just as he was ready to pull you into him you jumped.

On your lap was your cellphone, it was vibrating with Taehyung's contact photo displayed on the screen. You pulled away looking down at the phone and Jungkook did the same, catching his breath for a moment.

"Hey," you said breathlessly, awkwardness beginning to set in between you two. Taehyung was already talking your ear off about something and you knew there was no reason to stay in Jungkook's car.

"I'll get going," you told him shyly and he nodded, "Text me when you're inside. Goodnight."

"Night."

Neither one of you were able to process the kiss until you were in the comfort of your own homes alone with your thoughts. What happened tonight?

It went on like this for weeks. It was hard to find time alone together with midterms, work, and school. Not to mention. You had to balance hanging out with your new friends, school work, and hanging out with your old friends. So far, you and Jungkook had only made out [a few times] but that’s it. Usually when you have free time Sia and Yuna want it all so then you end up hanging out as four.

You have yet to put an actual label on what you have with Jungkook but clearly there’s something there that everyone can see. For instance, he’s definitely gotten clingier to you. It’s comical actually, this big, buff, tatted guy making pouty faces at you when you don’t pay attention to him. Or forcing Yuna to scoot over so he could sit next to you. Always looking annoyed when some guy asks you a question. He was intimidating and yet so soft with you.

“You guys are so gross, you make me sick!” Sia gagged loudly. It was a Sunday and you were over at Jungkook’s having some movie marathon. Or at least trying to but it’s really just been all of you talking. Sia was currently grossed out by the fact that you and Jungkook started having a separate conversation that ended with a kiss on the tip of your throat.

“God I hate couples, makes me want to puke,” Yuna sighed making you look over to her with confusion. She only rolled her eyes playfully, “Don’t give me that look. You two are a couple and don’t deny it.”

Jungkook turned to look at you but neither one of you said anything for a moment. Is that really how you’ll announce it? He smiled leaning in to kiss your forehead, “We’re not denying it, right?”

“I’m leaving, I’m craving some chicken and you two are making me lose my appetite. God I hate being single,” Sia groaned as she got to her feet. Yuna was quick to follow in agreement, “For real. Y/n set us up with some of your hot friends.”

“Bye! Love you two! Use protecti—“ Yuna closed the door before Sia could say anything else and you couldn’t help but laugh. Jungkook laughed with you as he got to his feet, “They’re annoying.”

Honestly this is the first time in a while that you’ve had a full day to yourself with no schoolwork or regular work. Now that the girls were gone you were hoping to spend more time with Jungkook. Frankly you’ve been thinking about going further and the only reason you haven’t expressed it is because you know Jungkook. He’s probably waiting for you to make the move first because he feels like he rushes you, which he doesn’t.

“What?” He asked as he came back from carrying empty chip bags and soda cans to the trash. He looked down at you with a smile when he caught you staring. You lifted your arms up as if reaching for him and it made him laugh softly making his way over to you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his knees pressed into the cushion between your legs, “Can I get a kiss?”

“As many as you want,” he leaned down enough to capture your lips with his, immediately melting into your arms as you made yourself sit up to give him more room. He was getting used to this now, kissing you on your lips, getting close to you but he obviously wanted more. He’s only keeping himself at bay because he knows how tired you are and he doesn’t want to push you.

Of course he didn’t imagine you to be in the same boat. It was only when your hands began to play with the waist band of his sweats to lift his shirt up a little did his body react. A small groan echoing down your throat that came from him due to your sudden forwardness. His lips didn’t leave yours as he started bunching his t-shirt up feeling your cold hands run along his abdomen muscles before having to sit back so he could pull over his head. The second it was off he was back on you, heads turning in opposite directions trying to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing against yours.

His hands cupped your jaw, brows scrunched together in concentration just wanting to swallow you whole.

Somehow, he got you to pull your legs up on the couch, so he could kneel between them but it wasn’t comfortable and before you knew his hands were gripped your waist hard. He lifted you up, never giving you a chance to break away from the kiss, as he held you up before flipping you. You ended up straddling Jungkook’s hips with the way he twisted you around. With this new position you were able to press down on his crotch more, and that elicited a deep-throated moan from him. Smirking against the kiss, your hands rested on his chest, nails digging into the solid muscle found there. He was more undressed than you were and he needed to change that but your soft touch on his bare torso was heaven sent.

By now your breathing became labored and you could feel the growing wetness between your legs. It was automatic, your hips grinding down and having your denim-clothed crotch make contact with Jungkook’s growing hardness. The fabric of his sweats only served to turn him on, hands gripping your hips guiding your movement letting his hands trail even lower.

The only time they raised from your backside was to finally inch your shirt off wanting any layer between you two off. With deft fingers, he was quickly yanking the ends of your shirt up, sliding the material over your head while still trying to kiss you. You pulled away with a small laugh at his eagerness giving him the chance to take it off you. You were sitting straight as he looked at you with those sparkly eyes, hands on your waist looking you up and down sitting on his lap.

“You’re so pretty,” his hands flitted across your skin. You automatically tucked your stomach in, feeling self conscious suddenly. It wasn’t even dark out, the sun still shone through his windows and here you were shirtless with Jungkook eyeing you. He bit his lip, “All of you Y/n.”

His hands held firmly onto your hips, clasping tightly before slowly letting his palms slide across your lower back. His arms ended up wrapping around your waist and you found yourself face to face with him, your foreheads touching. Why did this feel so right?

“I like you so much, Y/N,” he pecked your lips lightly. You smiled, “I think you’re pretty too. And I like you so much too.”

His head lowered, lips connecting with your collarbone and peppering it with affectionate kisses. Your lips fell apart as your hands wrapped around the back of his neck keeping him put where he showered you in kisses.

His kisses led down to the valley between your covered breasts, hands coming around to press against the fabric of your bra. He looked up to you again as he move to kiss your lips as his hands began sneaking up your back and fingers quickly undoing the clasp of your bra.

“Are you always so soft?” he whispered as the straps fell off your shoulders. He slid them down your arms and you smiled when you flicked it off with your wrist, “Usually.” His eyebrows shot up at your response making him laugh a little before focusing his attention back to your exposed chest.

Without another word, Jungkook leaned closer and began to press open-mouth kisses to your chest. His hands snuck under your chest sliding his palms up until he was dipping a breast in each hand. You gasped lightly, playing with the ends of the hair on the back of his neck. He was being playful, squeezing lightly here and there, going lower with each peck until he got to the nipple. His thumb flicked at the hardening nipple, his tongue doing the same with the other one. You gasped, your spine arching and pressing your chest further closer to his touch. How was he so damn gentle and sweet with his movements? When you look at him you can’t help but feel intimidated. Yet he holds you with such tenderness and care and it felt soft the way you two talked throughout this so far.

You couldn’t help but to jerk your hips, seeking out the friction that would bring you release when his tongue swirled around your bud. At this, you pressed down onto Jungkook’s erection and he became painfully aware of it once again. His lips were swollen and wet when they pulled away from your breasts, your skin prickling when the air hit the moisture that he had left behind on your skin. He was surprised by the tug on his hair angling his neck back before you crashed your lips onto his going straight for a deepened kiss that had him moaning into your mouth. His hands were still playing with your tits, pinching and your erect nipples.

“Jungkook,” you said between kisses, hands moving to his shoulder for more support to guide your hips over him using his gasps for air as signs to see what he’d like.

“Alright,” he said not needing to hear more from you, already knowing what you wanted. He wanted to do more for your body but that would require him to be a little rougher and he didn’t want that for your first time. Not that you’d mind having him use you however he pleased but he was clearly being considerate of what you’d be open to try. He lifted you off his lap and you got the hint moving to your knees, providing enough space for him to pull the front of his sweats loose and quickly slide them down his legs, along with his underwear. His cock hit his stomach with a thud as he kicked away his clothes.

Before he could move you back down, you were leaning forward, lips attacking his neck just under his jaw bone creating a soft suction on his skin that had his breathing hitching at the action. His hands were hovering over your butt as you moved further down his lap to palm at his erection. You started slow, a soft glide down the length of his cock with a small twist of your wrist around his head, moving some of his foreskin back. His eyes shut tightly and the groan that you elicited from him made you smile against his neck. You left soft little kisses as you stroked him, spreading the precum that dribbled out of his slit down the head of his cock. Everytime you applied more pressure, more came out until you were able to cover his length with it.

“Fucking hell,” he licked his dried lips, head thrown back against the couch as his hips met your hands, quickening the pace, “You’re going to make me cum before I get to be inside you,” he stopped you, gripping your wrist tightly, “I need a condom.”

You climbed off him watching him leave to his room, surprisingly a nice image seeing his naked, toned and tatted body. When he came back his eyes caught sight of his phone’s screen lighting up and passing by he saw a text from the girls but he couldn’t think right now. All he could focus on was the way you shimmied your jeans off watching the snug fit over your hips. You kicked them off and before you do your underwear next, Jungkook was pushing you to the couch.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he cursed feeling bad for the way he threw you back with more force than he would’ve liked. You brushed it off, “It’s okay. You can push me.”

It made him chuckle but if definitely was a nice thing to know. He pulled your panties down for you as you watched him tear into the condom. He picked you up again so that he could sit and place your over his lap. Jungkook cupped your jaw, his smile still on his lips as he kissed yours, sweetly and slowly. His tongue licked inside your mouth, exploring slowly as he pressed you closer to his chest feeling the dip on where your tits were and feeling your hardened nipples had him grunting in approval.

You felt his hard length press against your hip, you grasped his length and aligned it with your wet slit. His hand went over your hip watching in anticipation for when you’d let him slip inside you. His brows scrunched together as his lips parting making his face contort in pleasure as you slowly sank down taking his length inside you.

You knew this guy was attractive from his looks to his personality and yet right now that you took his cock inside you, he never looked hotter. He bit his bottom lip and held on tightly to your hips when you sank enough to finally sit on his lap and pushed your knees into the couch to raise your hips. He groaned into your neck, “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.”

Jungkook’s hands landed on your hips, grasping tightly as he began to quicken your movements, raising your hips a little more whenever you lifted them only to drop them back down hard. His head was on your shoulder staring down her back to the way his fingers dug into your was making you ride him deep and hard. You squeezed your walls around him, angling yourself to where you knew that the head of his cock would hit your sweet spot just right. You licked your lips leaning into him more rested your arms on his shoulders, barely able to form a full sentence as you moaned, “So big, fuck.”

One of his hands reached up, took a breast in hand and began to firmly fondle it, thumb and forefinger pulling at the nipple making your hips begin to circle in a steady rhythm trying to get him to fuck all your pleasure spots from your clit to your g-spot.

“Kiss me,” he moaned looking up at you as his thumb rubbed over your clit groaning in pleasure, “Fuck, I’m gon—ngh, gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, fucking cum for me,” he moved you faster, his hips meeting yours as they began to gyrate lifting off the couch.

“I’m gonna cum, Jungkook,” You moaned his name as you reached your peak, walls squeezing around his thick cock, hands flat on his chest to take some of the pressure off your shaking legs as you came. His hands were pinching your thighs with a loud cry in bliss, filling the condom with his load, kissing your shoulder softly. Still, he thrusted gently trying to ease himself out so he wouldn’t just drag himself out quickly and potentially cause you any pain.

You laughed softly, bringing your hips up until his cock had completely pulled out of you carefully. He made space for you, his back pressing to back cushion of the sofa as you both faced each other, laughing breathless alongside you.

He looked over to you, head rolling to the side to face you better. Jungkook release soft pants trying to catch his breath bringing his hand up to the back of your head. He brought you close to him pressing a kiss in your hair, “You okay?”

“Yes,” you said moving to stand up, “But I need to use the bathroom.”

He let you go taking your clothes with you and he sat back trying to clean himself up too. He cleaned up with everything in time to catch you coming back out fully dressed. You gave each other shy smiles as you turned to head back in the living room unsure of what to do with yourselves. When he came back to you, he’d just gotten onto the couch when his phone was lighting up.

The group chat appearing on his screen but he ignored it. He already knew it was Sia and Yuna probably to ask them to hang out again. It’s crazy how they were the ones to call them out as a couple when neither of you could bring yourselves to admit it.

Your eyes met and he broke out into a smile, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m hungry,” you said with a little laugh that had him laughing too. Your hand was on the cushion and he reached for it taking it in his own hand. He lifted a brow, “What do you want to eat?”

“Pizza,” that made him roll his eyes playfully speaking with a smile. “We had that yesterday but we can get it. Do you want to order or eat out?”

“Order,” you said with a shrug as his shoulder pressed against yours. He nodded taking his phone out ready to order the food when he finally got a good look at the texts.

sia: I forgot my wallet at ur place

sia: helllllloooooo

sia: let me up

sia: I know y’all are there

sia: ew wait

sia: u suck

He laughed as he read over her last text that she’d be back tomorrow. She must’ve realized what distract you two so much because she left him alone after that.

He had another text from his brother apologizing for not sticking up for him at dinner the other night.

Jungkook will admit he was still upset over that, mostly that they’d all judge you before even getting to know you. He liked you not whoever his parents wanted him to be with and nothing would make him change his mind.

Nothing makes him happier than the fact you transferred to his school earlier this semester.

::.

tag list: @poopiedookieballz [lol the name] @ughitsvicky @prettyvjrd-blog @screamertannie @kimyishin

like Can we talk about looks like they could kill you, is acc a tsundere cinnamon roll?

that would be Jungkook here

I decided to do something sweet bc lately my fics for Jungkook have been having a lot of angst

and omg I had time three different stories going on for this post and I just couldn’t focus until this week lol

#to read

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blamerecs · 2 years

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WHAT

Oh my god does every time we use the gif search feature tell the gif maker that we used their gif???

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blamerecs · 2 years

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Dating advice

Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Status: Parts will be released on Saturdays at 5pm (BST), I haven’t actually finished writing this but hope to keep on top of it enough to release weekly, I will try to keep this post updated with dates.

Warnings: Relevant warnings will be posted on each part. Drinking, low self esteem, swearing, explicit sexual content (towards the end).

Authors Note: Each part is around 2k words, and I have enough written and planned out to hopefully keep on top of it to release weekly, but we’ll see how it goes. I’ve put a rough idea of chapter numbers below, but as I haven’t finished writing yet this number may change.

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Part six

Part seven

Part eight

Part nine

Part ten

Part eleven

Part twelve

Part thirteen

Part fourteen

Part fifteen

Part sixteen

Part seventeen

Part eighteen

Part nineteen

Part twenty

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blamerecs · 2 years

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star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 10

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you.

hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

series: star lost with you

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden (?) romance, slowburn (!), soulmate au (kind of)

word count: 28K (im sorry lol)

warnings: cursing, a lot of angst, hints of manipulative behaviour, jealousy, mutual piningx500, mentions of kissing, sexual language, mature content, so much fluff, questionable arguments, references to condoms, mentions of boners, toxic behaviour, drinking

a/n: ahh im so happy excited to share this part with you. it’s the longest chapter till now, and it can almost be divided into two very different emotions. i hope you like the variation, and hyun is explored so much more in this part. some characters make very bad or manipulative decisions and can be frustrating, sorry lmao! but i hope you enjoy this!

you can listen to my star lost playlist here! thank you @ortali for this gif <3

masterlist

In all his months of growing as an artist, Hyunjin still hadn’t figured out a core aspect of the journey. Every artist had a muse, supposedly — at least that’s what he’d read in books, and seen on television growing up.

A muse was supposed to make things easy, to be a constant source of inspiration, and creative stimulus.

But Hyunjin couldn’t even comprehend the idea of never-ending inspiration.

His inspiration always struck him at the oddest times — it was a matter of irony that those times — unfortunately happened to be moments where he couldn’t possibly get out a sketchbook to paint.

Like when he held the chopsticks to his lips, halfway through a bowl of ramyeon, it’s as if the burning steam was what he needed to get over an artist block.

Keep reading

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blamerecs · 2 years

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sweetener | myg (m)

Summary: You used to know how he sounded when you were wrapped around him, but circumstances have pulled you apart and sent you scattering in opposite directions. Feelings shouldn’t reappear so easily by simple words, but when you find yourselves in the same place once again, this is exactly what happens.

⋙ pairing: Yoongi x female reader ⋙ rating: 18+ ⋙ genre: fwb/kinda enemies to lovers; fluff, smut ⋙ warnings: a misunderstanding, former fuckboy!yoongi, pent-up feelings, very light angsty bits buuuut mostly cute hot stuff, hobi – the frustrated wingman; explicit sexual content: dom!yoongi, sub!reader, making out in a bathroom, oral (f. & m. receiving), hair pulling, grinding, protected sex, dirty talk, teasing, pussy/tiddie slapping (i think), light spanking – yoongi slaps it all, degradation, praising, biting, he comes on her tits, spit, light choking, rough sex, manhandling, cum play, aftercare, some crack dialogue i guess, most of this is smut tbh. ⋙ word count: 10.3k ⋙ a/n: this was supposed to be a 5k pwp 😐 but anything for the BIRTHDAY BOY !! i adore this man, may only good things happen to him ever 😭 here’s my little love letter to min suga. genius. <3 also lowhighkey dedicated to @sugalaritae who brainstormed this w me (came up with this wonderful summary, too !!) and just, ugh – i just love her, she deserves to be spoiled <3

MASTERLIST | WIPS

You should’ve listened to your guts when they told you to stay home this morning. Maybe you could’ve avoided Yoongi’s presence for some longer that way.

Keep reading

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blamerecs · 3 years

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👏🏻 support 👏🏻 creators 👏🏻 or 👏🏻 they'll 👏🏻 lose 👏🏻 motivation 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 create 👏🏻 things 👏🏻

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blamerecs · 3 years

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Omg!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT TO GET COZY IN BED AND READ THIS

stay (3tan) (m) | myg

title: stay (the weekend, pt. 2) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball rating/genre: m (18+) ; fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: after almost a whole weekend of misses, you and yoongi finally hit your stride. and after almost a whole year of almosts, you finally capture those moments you’ve been waiting for. warnings: cursing, choking, protected sex, penetration, more overthinking, fingering, restraints (his hands), cunnilingus, body worship, spanking, cockwarming, his hands yall don’t say i didn’t warn you, breast play, sl*t mentions, light slapping, …a mirror……., a jk appearance…, min yoongi in general, does fluff count as a warning bc i think it rly should lol note: uhh. surprise? >:) happy start of minmarch ig lolol. thank you to my lovelies @sugakookitty @yoon2k and @joheunsaram for being amazing betas as usual and putting up w me !! :’)) and a huge thanks to everyone that’s been encouraging and supportive along the way. this part is the biggest yet and i wanna say so much here but i will refrain. there will just be lots in the author’s note at the end :) and yoongi? screw you for spoiling everyone way too much this time around LMAO note 2: oh! if you haven’t read the rest of the three tangerines series, i highly encourage you to read those before this one! it would make more sense. drop date: march 2nd, 2022, 7:17pm est word count: 18.6k!!! HUH..

What the fuck was that sound?

Keep reading

#wow this just made my day omg #3tan #kithtaehyung #Yoongi x reader

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blamerecs · 3 years

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Dude WHATTTTT! This might be my favorite characterization of Yoongi to date. He’s so…cool? Like their phone convo was so freaking cute and I love how he encourages her to be straightforward with him or she’ll never get what she wants 🥴 *swoon* thank you author for an amazing series!!!!

house party (3tan) | myg

title: house party pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks rating/genre: pg ; angst ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: what happens at a house party. and what happens afterwards. warnings: pov switch (just one), house party, pining, alcohol consumption, cursing, timeskips, angst, i am so sorry but yeah there’s angst again, stress, min yoongi…, a brief brother appearance??, the ending :)) note: and we are onto the next part! i… already apologize for what’s in here but don’t hate me too too much until you read it all ok thanks :) huge thanks to @joheunsaram @kookskingdom and @sugasbabiie for being super last minute angel betas!! note 2: if you haven’t gotten around to the other three tangerines fics yet, i highly encourage you to read those first. it would make more sense! drop date: january 16th, 2022, 7:17pm est word count: 10k !!

Yoongi’s only here because he needs to unwind.

Keep reading

#Yoongi x reader #bts fanfic #yoongi smut #3tan

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blamerecs · 3 years

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kim taehyung fic rec list (Ⅲ)

here’s a list of my favourite taehyung fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message under their posts I know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡ feel free to send and share any fics you’re reading or would like to recommend to me

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

enemy by @btssmutgalore s a (fuck buddies strangers to lovers) ft. Hoseok

rotten angelcake by @inkedtae f s a (ceo au strangers to lovers au sugar daddy au)

cliff diving by @wwilloww f s (friends to lovers au)

the good boy by @jkeuphoriadreamland s (yandere/obsessive taehyung read other tags)

colours by @lovelytaes-blog f s a (single dad au strangers to lovers au)

kinda hot by @kimnjss f s a (sm au best friends to lovers au college au)

the diary of a healing heart by @taegularities f s a (college au strangers to friends to lovers)

the president’s son by @jimlingss f (bodyguard au)

salvage by @btssaysstudy f a (unrequited love) ft. Jungkook

patient love by @writtenwhalien f s a (roommate au idiots to lovers best friends to lovers)

heart of the flame by @chateautae f s a (roommate au best friends to lovers firefighter tae)

seeing red by @borathae f s a (enemies to lovers/office au)

the art of touch by @chateautae f s a (royalty au period piece strangers to lovers au)

play with me by @bangchanshehe s a (poly au) ft. Jungkook

one-shot

feelings caught by @kimnjss s (best friends girlfriend)

all i want for christmas is you by @ladyartemesia f s (brother’s best friend au enemies to lovers au)

shutout by @ughseoks f s a (best friends to lovers au)

breakfast in bed by @borathae f s (best friends to lovers au sub tae)

10 muses by @sketchguk f s (college au photographer taehyung)

tease by @caiuscassiuss f s (brother’s best friend enemies to lovers au)

soaring high by @taegularities f s (dilf au)

sph by @venusjeon s a (friends with benefits au)

flat tire by @ppersonna f s (boyfriend au)

strings attached by @bangtiddies f a (fake dating au college au)

the holi-date by @kpopfanfictrash s (fake dating au neighbour au)

dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash s (arranged marriage au)

washed on by @ressjeon s (frat au car wash au strangers to lovers au)

acquainted by @dewykth s a (unrequited love infidelity)

“are you sure?” by @cutechim f s (brother’s best friend au)

just a taste by @cutechim f s (frat boy au spring break new couple)

tempestuous by @ppersonna s a (best friend brother enemies to lovers au)

make you feel my love by @rkiverse f a (friends to lovers au)

remember this by @yoohtae a (wedding planner au)

tattooed two by @httpjeon f s (tattoo au threesome) ft. Jungkook

seventeen times 17 by @cutaepatootie f s a (angsty)

right amount of wrongs by @taegularities f s a (best friends to lovers au high school au)

midnight snack by @sparklingchim s (enemies to lovers au college au)

tomorrow, tonight by @ggukseoulcafe f a (ceo au heartbreak exes au)

guns & roses by @chateautae f s (mafia au established relationship au)

work hard, play harder by @sugasbabiie f s a (ceo tae assistant reader office au idiots to lovers )

dark chocolate snap by @jamaisjoons f s (threesome) ft. Seokjin

kinktober ~ day 14 by @dreamescapeswriting f s (wedding night sweet and soft)

spice by @aquagustd f s a (strangers to lovers au playboy tae)

do it better by @yoon2k s (dilf tae infidelity)

flicker by @chimoona f s (neighbours au)

sorrow by @jiminsfault s a

somebody else by @jamaisjoons s a (post break up au ex yoongi) ft. Yoongi

bad alpha, sweet alpha by @helenazbmrskai f s a (werewolf au friends to lovers)

(why) we got married by @ktheist s a (arranged marriage au)

talk slow by @writtenwhalien f s a (brother’s best friend exes to lovers)

↬looking for other kth fics or the other members check out my library for more

#reblogging for later

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blamerecs · 3 years

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I read this earlier today and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it! Author, if you’re reading this and/or read my other review, I’m the person who had never been to a pub crawl and I was fascinated by the thought of one. This time, I can say I HAVE been to trivia, but never on a consistent team/basis lol. I absolutely loved the dynamic of the friend group and how everyone had their role—I would love to be Yoongi, but I think I’m more of a Connie 😭 I’m a sucker for a lot of pining between two characters, so I really loved this one. I could see everything that was happening so clearly—you have a great way of setting the scene and rooting us in a space while also keeping things moving…it’s awesome. Anyways, I’ll stop rambling but this was so so good and I can’t wait to read more of your masterlist ❤️

Let’s get quizzical

Summary: Thursday night pub quizzes with your friends are a must. One of those friends being your long-term friend, long-term crush, Park Jimin. At this point 99.9% of the population knows you have feelings towards him, Jimin being the 0.1% that doesn’t. But what happens when a bet goes wrong and your weekly quizzes become more complicated than fun?

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: friends to lovers; fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 28.6k

Warnings: Safe sex, oral (female receiving), ANGST, a lot of feelings, drinking, bad jokes, a lot of dodgy quiz questions.

Authors Note: This has taken me a hot minute to write, but I really enjoyed it and am really proud of it. The summary was almost impossible to write without giving everything away, so I apologise if it doesn’t do the story justice. I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Hoping you have the best day and sending you all the love :)

“Question 9: who is Chancelor Johnathan Bennett?”

“Chancellor of the exchequer?” Jin jumps in before the question has finished being asked.

“Chancelor is his name not job title,” you roll your eyes. “Could be a local MP though?”

“Bit niche for a pub quiz? And what MP is going to be called Chancelor?” Jimin chips in, eyes on you.

“You’d be surprised what some of those wanker, Eaton educated, Conservatives are called,” Jin says and immediately holds up his hands in defence, though no one scolds him.

“We must have a better answer than local MP,” Connie sighs, ever the sensible one.

“It’s Chance the Rapper,” Yoongi says before taking a sip of his beer, having already scribbled the answer down.

“See I told you Yoongi would be good,” Jin pats Yoongi on that back, which only causes the scowl on Yoongis face to deepen.

Keep reading

#taleasnewastime #jimin x reader #Jimin smut #Jimin angst

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blamerecs · 3 years

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It is 7:30AM, I couldn’t sleep but I found this story and now I’m REELING OVER THESE TWO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The build up and the longing and the angst…I’m literally kicking my feet in bed. This is beautiful & I can’t wait to keep reading even though I desperately need to sleep before work tomorrow lmao

Puddle of Love ‖ four

A trip to see Jungkook's mother brings you a lot closer to the guy you have nothing in common with. Maybe that's what makes your last party together turn sour.

⤑ word count: 8k ⤑ genre: (a whole lot of) angst, mature topics, friends to lovers, rockstar!au, mentions of terminal illness ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ playlist

» Puddle of Love (rocker!jk) – one | two | three | four

Kijung decided the guys did a great job and he let them have another ten days off since they were making more progress than expected. From what you understood, Jungkook was told to stay at the island while everyone else was free to leave, and a part of you felt happy that he’d be staying, even though it was selfish. It meant that you two would get to be alone in the villa again, spend the days together, go to the beach, walk around together, have meals together,and just exist without other people’s eyes on you.

Still, it meant that Jungkook still didn’t have Kijung’s confidence and that he wasn’t allowed to go see his friends or family. Instead, he was stuck here. Despite everything, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to be happy with Kijung’s decision too.

That’s how you found yourself in the pavilion the night after they all left for London for their connecting flights to their country of choice. Jungkook wasn’t in a great mood, probably because he still wasn’t allowed to leave, but even the silence was enjoyable when you two were together next to each other. You’d noticed that somewhere along the way, someone had brought the two loungers closer together, the two that you two would always use, and they were now so close that you were almost lying next to each other. Neither one of you mentioned the change since you didn’t seem to mind it.

It was a windy night, and the sounds of waves crashing against the beach were all you could hear until Jungkook decided to speak. You’d learned that he appreciated silence sometimes and that he would speak when he was ready.

“What if one day you're just alone in the world?” Jungkook asked out of the blue, clearly pondering the meaning of life or something equally unexpected. “Like, you wake up and there's no one.”

“I… I don't know,” you responded immediately, not really sure what he meant by this. What would you do? “That is such a scary thought, I can’t even tell you what I’d do. Why do you ask?”

“I think that's how I'll feel when my mother dies,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly even though the thoughts was deeply disturbing.

“What?” The word left your mouth before you could even think about his response, but the train of thought was confusing you.

“My mother has cancer,” Jungkook’s voice didn’t give off any emotion, but his face did, and you couldn’t look away from it. If he was trying to hide how much this hurt, he failed.

“I didn’t know about that, I am very sorry to hear it,” you said, wanting to reach out and touch his hand, like that would mean anything. You’d never touched him that way before, ever, only when you danced, but it was a different setting. This was a boundary that neither one of you had crossed. “How is… How is she doing?”

“It's okay,” he sighed and glanced your way, as if he was trying to get you to see that he was okay when he was clearly not. He then looked at the sky again, the stars providing an appropriate excuse not to face you. “You should see how nonchalant she is when she talks about it. You’d never guess it. She’s holding up, I guess.”

The only mention of his mother was when he told you what his mom thought about meeting someone who was right for him. You didn’t know if they were close or not, but it was something he didn’t mention a lot, and you now knew why. “Is that what's hurting you? It’s not just replacing Kyubok. You’re afraid of this, too.”

“Maybe this is small town thinking, but I think your family are the only real friends you have. I don’t know if you’ve lost some friends along the way, but I think we all do. You think this person cares about you, but they’d throw you under the bus for the right price, there’s always some hidden interests there, people always put themselves first. But family… They're the only ones who have your best interest at heart. They’re not out there giving advice that could hurt you, just so they could get something out of it,” he explained, speaking about it as passionately as he did about music, bringing his whole body into it, getting upset. “And to lose someone like that who means so much is just… The equivalent of being all alone in the world.”

“I’m very sorry, Jungkook,” you told him, finally finding some courage to reach out and place your palm over his. At that moment, it didn’t feel like you were being inappropriate. It wasn’t about you two anymore, it’s about him needing a friend. “I hope you won’t lose your mom.”

“I hope so too,” he said, flipping his palm so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. And so you stayed like that, hand in hand, for a long time, so long that you almost fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of the waves against the beach, the wind rustling in the trees around you, and the warmth of his hand against yours.

You suddenly wondered how Jungkook felt about being stuck here when he could be spending this time with his mother. He was clearly losing her, otherwise he wouldn’t be worrying about being left alone in the world, which was a terrifying thought.

“Is Kijung not letting you go see her?” You asked, fearing his answer. If Kijung really did that, you’d have no choice but get involved. Nobody could be that cruel. Yeah, Puddle of Love were important, sure, but wasn’t this more important than anything to Jungkook?

“Kijung told me not to leave,” Jungkook sighed, clenching your hand for a second.

“I think those instructions were set to stop you from repeating Berlin. Seeing your mom isn’t that,” you said, hoping you weren’t crossing any boundaries here. It seemed like he was suffering over this—who wouldn’t be? If this could help him feel better, why not try?

“Honestly, I think it's an excuse,” Jungkook admitted, turning his head to face you, making you realize just how close you were to him then. You felt the urge to reach and cup his face, hold him, tell him it would be okay but you couldn’t do that. You’d already told him you couldn’t cross that line with him and he respected your decision—now you just had to respect it too. He didn’t touch you, hug you, kiss you, or do anything similar even though he wanted to, he’s told you that much himself.

“Why an excuse?”

“On my end, I mean,” he looked away with a sigh. “I didn’t exactly tell them about the whole situation. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“Oh... I understand… Is there a reason why you don’t want to tell them? Because I’m sure they’d let you go home.”

“I think I don't want to see her disappearing right in front of me. The last time I saw her, she’d already changed so much. I’m afraid to see her now. It becomes real when I do.”

He didn’t manage to hide the pain in his voice and he didn’t have to, not around you, at least. You couldn’t imagine how he felt and you couldn’t do much for him, other than listen.

“Jungkook, I don't want to say this but I have to... You should go see her if you don't think there's time left. You'll be sorry if you don't,” you looked at him, waiting for him to look back, which he did soon after, his eyes welling with tears.

“I can't think about this,” he said, a tear escaping his eye, his hand flying up to wipe it with the sleeve of his shirt, the heavy breaths serving as a clear sign of him trying to hold it together. “I can't see a skeleton that used to be my mom.”

You weren’t sure what to say to that because you were in no place to give advice on that. What would you do if you were him? Did that even matter?

Jungkook sobbed and you could tell he was trying to fight the tears as hard as he could, but this was clearly something he rarely spoke about and once he said it to another person, it became a lot more real. You understood how the things that hurt you the most hurt even more when you speak about them.

You hoped he didn’t feel like he had to hold it in because of you, so you spread your arms out as a sign that it was okay if he wanted to lean in for a hug, that it was okay to cry, and he did exactly that—leaned in, rested his head against your chest and cried. You wrapped your arms around him, bringing one up to pet his head and rocked gently from side to side, letting him cry all he wanted.

After all, there was no one there but you and the staff, who had already gone to bed and didn’t care about the two of you out in the pavilion. You weren’t sure how long you stayed there, but every tear of his hurt you like it was something that was happening to you personally. You hated to see someone who was so ecstatic and full of life break down in tears like this, be in so much pain over something he would never be able to change.

It was a normal part of life, death and the pain that came with it, but you hated it, and you knew he did too. There was nothing you could say to make it better, so you held him close and let him cry it out, caressing his hair, hoping it brought him at least some comfort.

“I have to go see her,” he mumbled into your chest, showing no signs of moving away from you, even though the tears had stopped. “You’re right.”

“I think you can go whenever you need to, Kijung wouldn’t mind,” you explained and he pulled away, wiping his face with his sleeves, refusing to look at you at first.

“I think so too,” he nodded, looking down at his thighs, looking like a child with puffy eyes, wet cheeks, quivering lips. You wanted to help so much, but you knew you couldn’t.

“Please, come with me,” he asked, finally looking at you. His eyes were no longer empty, they now looked full of pain, bloodshot and tired. “I feel like shit. And I'll surely use, I’ll want to feel better.”

That’s how you found yourself in his mother’s living room, sitting down on the couch next to Jungkook while she rested on the sofa across from you two, the staff he hired to help her bringing you all some tea and cookies.

“I would have made the tea myself and served it to you, but I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather,” she explained with a smile and nodded at you. Jungkook was right—you’d never tell she was battling something so scary and dangerous. She seemed small and fragile, but other than that, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her. “So happy to have you here. I’m sure it was you who told Jungkook to come. I’ve been wanting to see him for a long time but he always had an excuse.”

“Ah, madam, no, he… Uh, Jungkook,” you shot him a glance just to find him grinning because it was just like he told you it would be. “He said he wanted to come see you and since we’re stuck together making music, he wanted me to come meet you too. He said we’d get along.”

“I see why he would think that,” she smiled over the cup of tea and took a small sip. She had held him in her arms for what seemed like hours once he walked through the door, unannounced. You couldn’t remember the last time you saw someone so genuinely happy like the two of them were to finally see each other.

You felt like an intruder for a second, but it wasn’t a bad feeling since you got to see what Jungkook was actually like, without all the fakeness that came with the image.

His mom went through all the standard questions of how he was eating, sleeping, how his friends were doing, what he was up to, was he taking care of himself, and she asked to be introduced to you.

She pulled you in for a warm hug, and you understood what Jungkook meant when he said she was warm—that was exactly how you’d describe her personality. Nobody could ever feel unwanted around her, just her smile was enough to reassure anyone.

“So, you two have been friends for a long time?”

“No, mom,” Jungkook shook his head at her and then glanced your way. “We started working on music together this summer. You know I got sent to the island to calm down a bit…”

His mother decided to ignore the last remark, having stated earlier that it was time for him to get his act together if he wanted to be taken seriously. Jungkook clearly appreciated honesty because he was used to getting it at home. “It seems like you know each other well,” she said, cocking an eyebrow up and inspecting both of you one by one, causing you both to squirm.

“We spend a lot of time together, writing,” Jungkook explained, clearing his throat. “You get to know people that way since you have to share your lyrics with them. Besides, we’re the only people there, so we see each other every day.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful!” She exclaimed, now looking at you. “I like your music. His, not so much. Always bringing up women, alcohol, and all the things that, frankly, no mature person even cares about.”

“Well, women can hurt you, you have every right to write about them,” Jungkook explained, leaning back into the couch, seemingly relaxing. You loved the dynamic of their relationship and it also helped you understand him a bit better.

Their communication was direct, so it was no wonder he expected the same from everyone else. After all, he was always frank with others, too.

“And which women hurt you? Please,” his mom almost rolled her eyes at him, but her words just made both of you chuckle, for different reasons, you presumed. “Don't talk in front of this lady like that, you might put her off and I know it’s the last thing in the world you want to do. Always putting on this front!”

You found it funny that she worried so much about the impression he would make on you. “Don't worry, madam, it's all good,” you smiled at her warmly, hoping she knew it was okay and you didn’t take it seriously.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Jungkook said, now looking at you from the side, but you were looking at his mom, not wanting to offend her by staring at her son. He used your real name when he introduced you two and he used it again now, making your heart skip a beat. “She… I’ve managed not to put her off. Actually, she knows that I’m ready to clean up my act for her. She doesn’t want that yet, but when she does, she will let me know. Someday, I’ll be a normal guy, trustworthy, reliable, and maybe she’ll be ready then.”

His words took you aback so much that you had to turn your head to the side to face him. You knew that he felt something for you, clearly, and you told him how you felt about him, but that’s where you left things off. It couldn’t work and you wouldn’t try. That’s why hearing him say this out loud to the person that meant the most to him was so surprising. You didn’t know he felt all of this. Surprise was written all over your face, but he smiled at you warmly, like he always did.

“Now, that sounds lovely, but why don’t you start working on it now?” His mother suggested, making you both turn to face her. “There might not be a someday, or when it comes, it might be too late,” she looked at Jungkook knowingly and it seemed like she was waiting for him to say something, but he wasn’t going to since he was taking her words in. “If you know what you want, work for it while you have the chance.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After the one-day trip you took to the hometown to see his mother, you went back to the island. Kijung told you he’d appreciate it if you came back with Jungkook, just because he felt Jungkook was doing a lot better when he wasn’t on his own. Even if he hadn’t asked, you would have come back with him just because you’d be afraid he’d get sad and lonely after spending time with his mother.

You didn’t know her before, so you weren’t sure what she looked like before she got sick, but she did seem really thin now and she got tired easily. Her mind was all there and she could walk, though slowly, and barely make it from the door to the chair before getting tired, but it was something.

Still, you understood why Jungkook would feel terrible after visiting her. Life was feeble and seeing your loved ones sick just served as proof of that. He seemed to be holding up well, though.

He didn’t say much on your way back or during the afternoon, but he joined you at the pavilion and played some music for you. Neither one of you said much, but for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel lonely. It felt just right to be next to someone, enjoying the moment with them without worrying about anything else.

You’d never felt that way with someone before and it scared you—mostly because it was Jungkook who made you feel that way, the charming, lovable Jungkook who remembered how you liked your coffee and pancakes, who’d bring his leather jacket on a walk, knowing you’d stay out too long and get cold, who’d go running into the waves with you fully clothed, laughing and enjoying life like you were two children without a worry in the world.

You couldn’t think of him as that person you saw only in articles, the person who was always talked about as an addict, a guy with a drinking problem, a guy who was always seen with different girls, a guy with a big mouth who got the entire band into trouble, a problematic kid who refused to grow up. You didn’t see any of that in him anymore, not after spending so much time with him and him alone, after getting to hear what kind of a person was hiding behind all of that.

Everyone had a fake persona, so did you, and you were sure people who got to know you better were surprised that you weren’t the same person your company wanted you to be. You had issues too. You avoided getting close to people, you feared losing them. You ran from any kind of feeling or commitment, using your career as an excuse.

After all, you chose to spend your summer at the villa instead of your hometown, where you could be with your friends and family, where you could date and have fun, rekindle an old romance or just live life. People who listened to your music surely didn’t think of you as that kind of a person, let alone one that could fall in love with Jeon Jungkook without ever touching him.

Not long after, the rest of Puddle of Love joined you again, and later on, so did Red Peaches. Jungkook and you spoke often, and spent time alone whenever you could without talking about it in front of the others. It was like a secret that you were trying to keep, afraid of it getting ruined if you let anyone else in.

Andre knew, though.

He knew you well by now and he expressed his worry on numerous occasions, trying to make you understand that Jungkook was a guy who wanted to have fun, and fun only, but you didn’t want to discuss it—you knew that he wouldn't make a move. You talked about it and decided it was for the best if nothing happened, yet your heart skipped a beat when you’d touch each other in passing, or when his fingers would brush against yours.

Once, you two had some wine in the pavilion, listened to music, and held hands. You weren’t sure how it happened, but you were lying on the loungers and the topic was a sensitive one and you spoke about your friend back home, and Jungkook held your hand, making you feel safe and heard.

Another time, during the day, you played cards on the beach, and Jungkook moved a lock of your hair behind your ear and both of you froze when he touched you like that—if he’d made a move then, you would have given in. It was excruciating to look at him and want him that much, but not be able to act on it, knowing it would amount to nothing in the end, knowing one of you would leave the villa sooner or later and that real life was waiting for you out there.

The guys decided it would be a good idea to throw a party to celebrate not only the fact that both of you now had almost complete albums ready, but that things seemed to be looking up for you. Kijung had done wonders for their image, and so did the fact that Jungkook wasn’t seen in public at all and some of the other guys did some charity work while on vacation. They recorded a cover of Toto’s Hold the Line and won over everyone who listened to it, and some of them posted content on their joint Instagram account.

Jungkook had made two posts in total over the course of the summer—a picture of the night sky taken with a professional camera, a view of what you watched together almost every night in awe, and a couple of lines from a Bukowski poem, which got even more women to absolutely adore him.

“...in that drunken place

you would

like to hand your heart to her

and say

touch it

but then

give it back.”

A part of you wanted to think that was dedicated to you in some way, but you could never be sure with him. It was strange to think that this guy who was known as a serial player was the same guy you spent most of your days with, the guy who told you he wanted to be with you, but that he knew you were too good for him, the guy who didn’t want to taint what you have by making a move on you.

You were now involved with Jungkook in some weird way—it was completely platonic, but strangely, more real than anything you’ve taken part in before.

There were some new faces at the party since Kijung and Andre were in a good mood and let you all invite some people. You invited Hoseok and his girlfriend, which wasn’t a smart choice because they’d gotten lost before you had your third drink. Jungkook was surrounded by his friends and some girls most of the night, but you caught him glancing your way whenever you’d look in his direction.

That night, he reminded you so much of the playboy you were used to seeing in the news after a concert, mostly because he’d done his hair that way, leaving it curly, covering the left side of his face, while showing off the undercut on the right. He was wearing leather again and light skinny jeans that hugged his body perfectly, letting everyone see his muscular thighs whenever he moved. His t-shirt wasn’t tight at all, yet you could tell his body was chiseled.

He had a cigarette in his mouth and talked to Taehyung about something without lighting it, and even though you hated cigarettes, you found it attractive. You found everything about him attractive, but most of all his vulnerability. Men scared you—they could be cruel, ruthless, intimidating, scary, but not him. Jungkook wasn’t afraid to talk about things that hurt and you rarely saw that.

You found yourself watching him from afar, unconsciously at first. People would come and go, talk to you about something and leave, but through it all, you kept your eyes on him, realizing that it would all be over soon. This man would have to leave and go back to his life, put on shows every couple of nights, have women throwing themselves at his feet, use alcohol and illegal substances to fill the voids he was running away from, over and over again, and you wouldn't be there to spend time with him, to hold hands with him and gaze at the stars, and he wouldn’t be there to make you feel like someone knows the real you.

Maybe that was it—you let each other see the real you while you put up a front for everyone else, not wanting others to sense weakness. Still, you had no issues with exposing your fears and having the other accept that without questioning any part of it. Now you’d have to get used to being without that.

All these depressing thoughts had you drinking a lot more than usual, and Jungkook seemed to be drinking more as well. Andre didn’t care about anyone else’s drinking habits, but he had his eye on you, and he came over to advise that you should quit drinking while you were ahead. He was right, surely, but you needed to drink until you forgot all about leaving the island soon—you couldn’t think of it anymore, you couldn’t dread it. You told him you were on vacation, you were way ahead of schedule, and just wanted to have fun. Of course, fun was the furthest thing away from what you were having, but you couldn’t tell him that. It would entail explaining why and how you stupidly fell for Jeon Jungkook and now had to suffer as a consequence.

Deciding that you needed to dance it off, you joined Jimin and some people you’d never met and danced like no one was watching, jumping around, screaming the lyrics, drinking whatever drink was handed to you, mixing drinks you’d never even think of mixing. You rarely acted like that, but did it even matter? Nobody here cared about you and they were acting far worse most of the time. It felt like you’d danced with almost everyone in the room, even though you didn’t know any of the guests that the bands invited. Did knowing someone even matter? Why couldn’t you dance with people and for at least a second forget who you were, what image you were trying to sell, and what feelings you were trying to bury?

Jimin was in the same mood as you—you noticed that you’d danced with him more than with everyone else combined, mostly because others took breaks and you and Jimin were constantly on the makeshift dance floor. You didn’t know that much about him—not more than the rest of his band mates—but you didn’t feel weird dancing with him. He was full of energy and he knew how to make his dancing partner feel like the center of attention.

“It’s you again!” He’d jump up whenever he’d run—or dance—into you on the floor and grab your hands to start dancing. At a certain point, you two tried to think of the dumbest dance moves you knew an you had a really idiotic dance-off with the other one screaming with laughter while one performed.

You two screamed the lyrics at each other and jumped around, spilling the drinks that somehow got in your hands and then laughed about it. Some strangers kept bringing you new drinks, one time even Taehyung brought two over, so even if you spilled one, you’d soon have a replacement one. Still, it felt like more drinks ended up on the floor than in you, which was probably a good thing.

“You spilled it all over your shirt,” Jimin leaned in to whisper and then laughed, as if he said something funny.

“So did you,” you told him, which made him laugh even more, so much so that he leaned in, rested his head against your shoulder, and laughed hysterically.

“Should I take it off?” He suggested, unbuttoning the first button of his shirt. “Wait! What do you think, how many buttons will it take for Andre to come here and beat my ass?”

Now, that idea was hysterical to you, mostly because you could easily see it happen. If Andre thought Jungkook was a bad influence, he’d think Jimin was an even bigger threat, mostly because he had a lot more experience than Jungkook. In your eyes, he was also a bigger danger than Jungkook—Jungkook never made any kind of move and he seemed to respect the thing you two had far too much to do that. Jimin, on the other hand, didn’t care at all. Of course, you didn’t even think he was hitting on you—he was just a drunk guy dancing and having fun.

“I don’t want to support public nudity, but…” You let your voice wander off and chuckled. “If you want to test it, we might find out. I say three, Andre is extra cautious!”

Jimin kicked his head back and laughed. When he calmed down a bit, his face suddenly turned completely serious and he stopped smiling altogether. In a second, you saw why.

Out of nowhere, Jungkook appeared right in between the two of you. He did so without a word, which made you both stop jumping. Sober Jungkook was such a vibe killer when you were drunk and you told him that. You didn’t notice when, but Jimin walked away, so it was just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor. You thought you’d get an Andre-style lesson from him, but Jungkook cocked his head to the side and just grinned.

“You need to get some fresh air and chill,” he said firmly, but made it sound warm. “You might regret partying harder than the rest of us tomorrow.”

“I won’t regret a thing, Jeon Jungkook,” you said, lifting your chin higher and shaking your head. For some reason, you felt upset with him, upset that he would continue with his life, that he’d be okay and you wouldn’t. “But I’ll walk outside if you insist.”

And walk out you did, with him right behind you, watching your every move. You stepped out, feeling chilly as soon as you got away from the warm living room, the people, the music, the alcohol. Jungkook took off his jacket and threw it over your shoulders, his scent engulfing you instantly. It made you take a deep breath to feel more of it.

“This smells just like you,” you said, making him laugh.

“Makes sense considering it was just on me,” he shook his head and placed a hand on your lower back as you made your way to the pavilion over the rocks in the garden. He acted like you could fall any minute, but you were far from that. You just wanted to forget, that’s it. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t say anything as he sat down on the lounger, which made him look at you questioningly. A part of you felt annoyed with him for asking—he knew you weren’t okay. He knew everything. In fact, he was the only one who understood.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You said, sitting down on the lounger right next to him, instead of choosing the one opposite him like you usually would. Your choice of seating didn’t go unnoticed—his raised eyebrow told you as much. “Because you’re leaving soon?”

Jungkook chewed on his lower lip for a second and then glanced at you. “I thought it might be about that.”

“What?” You asked, sensing a lot of spite in your voice, but unable to hold it back.

“Your behavior,” he shrugged, lighting a cigarette, reading you like he knew you better than anyone else. “You do drink, but not as much as you did tonight. You dance, but not with strangers. You have fun and joke around, but not with Jimin. I thought something was up, guess now I know.”

“Maybe I just wanted to have some fun,” you told him, reaching out to take the cigarette from his hand. Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he let you take it and watched you intently as you brought it up to your mouth and took a long puff, feeling relief as it hit your lungs, which surprised him even more. He probably expected you to start choking and coughing, but he didn’t know you as well as he thought he did.

“What?” You shot him a spiteful glance. “I used to smoke before all of this. Thought it was cool. All the hot guys did it,” you said, chuckling as you remembered the times you spent going out with your friends, having fun, not worrying about a damn thing, assuming life would always be like that. “Stupid, I know. I stopped as soon as I got this deal. I didn’t even do it because I liked it, it was more of a peer pressure type of thing, except I was the one pressuring myself. Good thing I got out before they got into drugs, right?”

You laughed at that, but Jungkook didn’t. He just kept his eyes on you, his elbows resting on his knees, his head turned in your direction, carefully inspecting you, listening to you open up even more. Everything about him annoyed you—the fact that he looked so flawless while you looked like a drunken, sweaty mess, the way his locks fell over his eyes, the way he made that many piercings seem appealing when they were, in fact, ridiculous, and the way he looked at you like he cared about your well-being. You didn’t want him to care—it would be so much easier.

“Anyways… I’m not the good girl you think I am. Why wouldn’t I drink and dance and have fun with Jimin? I can do it with any guy out here, as long as he’s willing and single. What’s the fucking point anyway? It’s not like any of us can have a meaningful… anything while we do this for a living,” the words came out in a bitter tone, and you weren’t aware of just how bitter until you noticed Jungkook frowning at you. Tears were starting to prick your eyes, but not because you were sad. No, they were angry tears—you were mad at yourself for falling for Jungkook so fully, mad at the world for playing tricks on you, mad at him for having to leave soon. “What, you don’t like hearing that?”

“No,” he shook his head slowly, looking down at the floor, still facing you. “I just… If you want to have fun like that, you can just tell me. There’s no need to flirt with Jimin or any of the other guys if I’m here,” he said, staring right into your eyes and you knew exactly what he was suggesting. “Now, you can pretend you don’t like me, but I know. You can’t hide feelings for shit either, don’t think it’s just me. I think all of this is your way of dealing with this being over soon. Going back to the real world. Performing. Being strangers again.”

“Jungkook, if I did that with you�� It wouldn’t be harmless fun for either one of us,” your voice almost failed you when you said that because the realization hit you hard. You weren’t sure why you were giving him this attitude when the way he was looking at you told you he was suffering, but keeping it together since it was clear you were wasted. He reached out to take the cigarette from you and his touch sent shivers down your hand—he felt so warm. “It would be… Feelings. And how would I just forget it? If it were any of them, I wouldn’t think about it twice tomorrow. But you… I already can’t stop.”

This was the closest you’d ever gotten to telling him how you felt, but there was something inside of you that assured you it wasn’t necessary to say it out loud, just like he didn’t need you to admit it—you just both knew, and that was the tragedy of it all. Jungkook took a smoke and returned the cigarette to you, exhaling in the other direction but quickly looking back at you.

“I don’t want feelings,” you spoke again, realizing he was either still processing what you’d said or just didn’t want to indulge your spitefulness, because that’s exactly what it was—you were saying things to spite him because you were the one who was hurt. You threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it, putting it out. “I don’t want you to tell me how you feel about me, you get it?”

Jungkook gulped and nodded, still keeping quiet and just watching your erratic behavior. You felt like you were losing it, unable to express how you truly felt, and realizing there was no point in any of it. Even if you told him everything, nothing could be done. He’d leave, you’d leave, and life would go on.

You got up and started walking away, but then you stopped dead in your tracks. What were you doing? Did you really want to leave a sad Jungkook sitting here all on his own when you two felt the same way? It didn’t seem like he deserved it.

You walked back to where he was still sitting, now in awe because of you standing right in front of him. Instead of speaking, you reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, enjoying the warmth and softness of his skin, the look in his eyes breaking you—so empty and sad, because of your words, you were sure. You were never so brave to touch him like that, even though you’d held hands before. This was different, intimate.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook was the first to speak. “I know this is all because of me.”

“It’s not,” you told him, knowing it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just the way life works. “I mean, it is and it isn’t, but that’s not the point. I’m just sad tonight. All this time… We would sit here and stargaze and I felt like there was someone here with me. Understood. And today, tonight, now, I feel all alone again because I know you’ll leave, and I hate that I let this happen.”

“It happened on its own,” Jungkook tried to explain it, looking up at you, placing his hands on your waist, warming you up. The worst part about all of this was that Jungkook knew exactly what you were talking about, even though you weren’t making any sense. Why did he have to know you that well, why did he have to show it off? “I mean, what did you expect? What would you like, to spend that much time in a guy’s mind, go through every thought of his, pick it apart, hand it back to him neatly packaged and explained, making it finally make sense, and not have him fall for you? It doesn’t work like that, but it’s not your fault. I hate that you feel sad, though. I had a feeling you would. I kept watching you all night, and the more you drank, the worse I knew you felt. You know how?”

The grip his arms had on your hips now tightened, as if he was trying to keep you close and comfort you. “Because I felt like I was watching myself. You drink and act like a fool until you can’t think straight, and then you just stop thinking, but you wake up tomorrow and it’s all there, so the whole thing was all pointless. Just because you drank and danced with everyone won’t make you forget this. Even if you left with one of them, you wouldn’t be able to forget. It’s pointless.”

“Jungkook,” you cried out, feeling like you were about to start sobbing. He was the cause and the key to all your problems, but there was no real solution. You could have him whenever you wanted, but there was an expiry date attached to it, and once it was over, it would hurt forever and you’d have to write to get over him, but seeing him would make it much more difficult. “Stop saying it. I don’t want to know,” you shook your head and slowly eased yourself down until you were sitting on his leg, your hands on the sides of his neck, holding his head up. “The more I know, the worse it feels. If I leave with you, I will never, ever get over it. This is already hard to beat, all of it. I’ve learned that you don’t have to be naked in front of someone for them to know you intimately—you’ve never touched me and I feel like you know me better than I know myself sometimes, which is insane. We’ve known each other for a couple of months! That’s nothing. It’s not enough to know someone at all. You’re… you. I can’t know a guy like you, everyone keeps telling me that, but I feel like I do.”

Jungkook sighed, not taking his eyes off of you—your eyes, your cheeks, your mouth. He seemed sad, worried, down, and you wanted to hold him, but that was stupid and irrational, and so was the fact that you were sitting in his lap with your arms around him.

“That’s because it’s true,” Jungkook spoke slowly, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m everyone’s worst nightmare, even my own. I know Andre can’t stand the sight of me. And I can’t blame him. I’m the guy who did all that messed up stuff, who can’t control his urges, who wants it all and now, and doesn’t take no for an answer from life. I would understand you were disgusted by me. I was expecting you to, at some point, tell me you’d never sleep with me because of all the women I’ve fucked, because I’m shameless and not your type, but I’ve never even hoped you’d feel a tenth of what I’m feeling for you. I don’t think anyone’s ever had one real feeling towards me and I’ve been with so many people it would make a girl like you sick. None, and I mean none, knew the first thing about me,” he sighed, closing his eyes for a second.

“I’ve heard that I’m the best they’ve ever had a million times, which is so fucking funny to me because I’m sure they don’t even remember it the next day. Like you’ve said, being naked with someone means jack shit… You don’t have to know someone’s name to fuck them. You don’t have to feel a damn thing about them to get off. You both use each other to get what you want. But I don’t want to use you in any way. If you feel like it would hurt you more if I told you everything, I won’t say it, but you know it all already,” he gently squeezed your waist, lowering his voice, making your heart beat so loud you almost couldn’t hear him. Your head was buzzing, his scent was all around you, his body felt so firm and hot against yours, and you wanted nothing more than to feel him, so you leaned in and kissed him, as gently as you could, hoping the kiss would explain it a lot better than you ever could.

Jungkook’s body was tense ever since you sat down on his lap, but in that moment, he exhaled into the kiss and relaxed, hugging you, pulling you closer to him, even though your lips were barely pressing against his. His lips were soft, his breath warm and you decided to kiss him again, grazing your lips against his, feeling your breath hitch in your throat. Your fingers dug into his shoulders and he hummed quietly when you kissed him again, this time letting your lips linger and move against his slowly, gently, like it was the last time you were kissing anyone, mostly because you were scared that it would be.

How would you ever feel the need to look at someone else again? You were losing your mind completely, you fell head over heels for this man and this was the first time you’d kissed him, and you never wanted it to stop. If you could have stopped your life and stayed in one moment forever, that would be it—Jungkook and you on his lap, arms around each other, kissing, no hint of lust in the kiss, just longing, and pain, things left unsaid, fears about the future, dread that something like that would never happen again to either one of you again. This kind of thing rarely did.

“My God,” Jungkook said when you pulled away for a second, your lips parted, taking a good look at him as if you wanted this memory to stay with you forever, you wanted to remember every single detail of his face so it wouldn’t fade away. “I’m speechless.”

You nodded, understanding him completely. What was there to say? You wanted to keep kissing him, but you knew where that would lead and if you left with Jungkook, nobody would ever top that and you didn’t want to spend your entire life longing for a guy you couldn’t have. “I…,” your voice cracked and Jungkook looked up at you, caressing your back with his palm, trying to relax you. “We should go back inside.”

“Why?” He asked, his voice strong and loud in the otherwise quiet night.

“We can’t kiss anymore,” you sighed, trying to sound confident about it. “It… I won’t be able to stop. It’s making this harder for me.”

Jungkook nodded slowly, not trying to argue it. “I know. I don’t want to stop either.”

“Let’s go dance,” you said, getting up, suddenly feeling even colder and more alone than before, even though Jungkook was right there.

You started walking towards the villa, fighting the tears that were starting to sting in the corner of your eyes when Jungkook caught up with you, shoulder against shoulder, grabbing hold of your hand, comforting you with his touch. “You’re not alone. Not now, not ever. You call and I’m right here, whenever,” he spoke slowly as you walked over to the villa, trying to assure you that he would be there when you needed him, but you both knew it wouldn’t be like that.

You’d call and he’d be fucking someone, or he’d be high somewhere causing a ruckus, or he’d be drinking with his friends, trying to forget how he really felt. And your call would make it worse, just like his would to you.

All eyes were on you two when you walked back inside together, but people looked away fairly quickly. You two weren’t acting inappropriately or even touching, so there was nothing there to see.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around your waist and you let your head rest against his chest as you danced in slow circles, not paying attention to the people, music, or even the beat. Is this what Jungkook was talking about when he said he’d get his heart broken? Funny, because you now felt like yours was.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

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