blackwatersbonefish

[blackwatersbonefish]

shout out to that scene in vol 3 after the holy mausoleum when binghe sneaks into sqq's tent and kisses him but sqq is mad at him so he snaps at him to kneel and binghe fucking DROPS to his knees. I know sqq was genuinely annoyed at him in that moment, but that was 100% a sex thing for binghe

[blackwatersbonefish]

Smile, Madam President.

[blackwatersbonefish]

2ha would be way way funnier if mo ran got the power to read minds. I don't care about them clearing up miscommunication i just want him to see how genuinely deranged chu wannings way of thinking is

Mo Ran: sorry, I didn't know you were changing...

Chu Wanning: get out!!

Mo Ran: omg fine.. he doesn't have to be such a bitch, it was an accident...

Chu Wanning: I didn't want Mo Ran to see me like that, I'm sure he's disgusted...

Mo Ran: ...hey I don't hate him THAT much...

Chu Wanning: because I'm so ugly..

Mo Ran: Okay that's just crazy, he's not ugly-

Chu Wanning: I have this gross ugly scar from when I was almost stabbed to death as a kid

Mo Ran: SORRY WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART ??????

[blackwatersbonefish]

YQY getting hit with truth serum so he has to confess The Secret to SJ is definitely a thing, because jesus fucking christ ANYTHING to make that man talk, but I think the potential for an even larger audience is fantastic.

A scenario like SQQ's trial. Things are dug up. Other things are implied or even fabricated. YQY is on trial. He's presented with some kind of truth serum. He refuses to take it until it's clarified that it won't compel him to speak, just prevent him from lying. He takes it.

They were lying. It absolutely does compel him to answer any questions asked of him. And the results are completely unhinged.

The Xuan Su thing doesn't even come up. It doesn't need to. In an attempt to paint him as scheming and ambitious, he's asked why he became sect leader.

"So I can give Xiao Jiu whatever he wants."

The assembled crowd: ?????

Is this Xiao Jiu a....mistreess? A son? What the hell. Questioning continues, and Yue Qingyuan's insanity is put on full display.

"What if 'Xiao Jiu' wanted to be the sect leader?"

"I would make him the sect leader."

"Surely the other peak lords of Cang Qiong would object. What would you do, then?"

"Whatever I had to."

Whatever they were originally asking about gets seriously derailed as they realize that this guy, arguably the most powerful cultivator in the world, is singularly obsessed with a person he calls 'Xiao Jiu.' Why did he seek power? Xiao Jiu. What is his ultimate goal? Xiao Jiu.

It's also starting to seem like maybe Xiao Jiu isn't exactly a willing participant.

"What does Xiao Jiu ask you for?"

"To leave him alone."

Okay. So his attentions are unwanted. Yikes.

Further questioning reveals that this mysterious person seems to hate Yue Qingyuan, but is regularly subject to his attentions anyway.

The one question he won't answer is 'who is Xiao Jiu.' He's bleeding from the mouth and eyes, but he just shakes his head or says, "He told me not to call him that."

In the audience, no one noticed Shen Qingqiu's total bluescreen, because honestly? All of the peak lords are feeling pretty lost for words right now.

I dunno, I just think it's specifically interesting to a) have a public reveal that this man is a lunatic, and b) have SQQ find out the depths of YQY's devotion without being able to get the answer he wants most.

This would drive SJ absolutely insane. On the one hand he’s happy that YQY isn’t spilling every little detail of their past for these vultures to pick through, on the other hands where the fuck is this coming from??? What sense do these answers make in the mouth of the man who abandoned him? If it was anyone else saying these things he’d be wildly uncomfortable, but this is just confusing (if he were to really sit with his feelings, he might realize that any immediate sense of revolution was swept away by a long-dormant sense of possessiveness). He intends to grab YQY and shake him as soon as YQY stops giving the OPM grounds to charge him with stalking or harassment or something, and YQY will just give him guilty eyes because he things SJ is mad about every he said on the stand 😔. Actually scratch that for qijiu’s benefit the potion should still be in effect, so the moment they’re behind doors SJ can furiously ask why, if YQY doesn’t despise him, he saw fit to abandon him back then and every day since their reunion. YQY can try to hold himself back from speaking to the point of coughing up blood again, which only enrages SJ further, and eventually YQY is forced to speak his explanation through his rough and bloodied throat. SJ is have every single emotion today and has a 50/50 chance of learning what YQY’s blood tastes like (for normal kissing reasons. Normaler than usual).

On a different note, I felt palatable anxiety reading the first part of the ask because I thought you were going to say that YQY confessed about Xuan Su in public, his greatest weakness and a questionable/unnatural feat of cultivation that he could well be criticized for. I legit think that if that happened SJ would consider killing everyone else in the room to stop the secret from getting out— he doesn’t have time to process all the complicated emotions from what YQY just told him, he only knows that’s it’s intolerable for YQY to be this vulnerable in front of people SJ distrusts or despises.

[blackwatersbonefish]

i love when characters lie to themselves in the complete privacy of their own minds

[blackwatersbonefish]

does anyone have that time travel fic where young lan wangji wakes up in post canon lan wangji's body? All I really remember is that it's from lwj's pov and at one point he notes that his sleep rhythm is different, implying that he's been staying up later to have sex with wwx

anywayyys it was really good and I want to re--read but I can't remember details for the life of me

[blackwatersbonefish]

BEHOLD MY CHILDREN

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i just like putting them into situations

insta // twt // ref

pt2

[blackwatersbonefish]

i just like putting them into situations

insta // twt // ref

pt2

[blackwatersbonefish]

he is attentive to your dietary restrictions, chifeng-zun, don't make it weird

[blackwatersbonefish]

butch mo ran butch mo ran butch mo ran butch mo ran-

[blackwatersbonefish]

I don't care for modern/no transmigration aus where shen yuan is all shy and innocent. This is the man who goes to brothels for information and makes friends everywhere he goes. Even in a normal setting I wholeheartedly believe he'd have connections, especially with his status as a rich kid.

I want a fic where Shen Yuan finds Binghe bleeding out in an alley and he's like "damn, calling an ambulance could get this guy in trouble... let me just call that underground doctor who I'm buddies with, he'll fix this guy up and I can pay him in cash so my dad won't ask about a huge bill on my credit card."

So many mafia aus would be way funnier if they were more realistic to how rich people actually act

Binghe: I'm a CRIMINAL I'm part of a GANG

Shen Yuan: um yeah I know, my friends buy cocaine from you

Binghe:

Shen Yuan: anyway

[blackwatersbonefish]

Mistletoe hung over the skinzun except instead of kissing him, whoever passed under it has to suckle at his breast

Pucker up

[blackwatersbonefish]

🥒 peerlesscucumber

STOP saying Binghe is gay. Actually he's so masculine he's ascended into a new gender binary. He's a sigma male and every other man is a beta which is basically a woman compared to him. In your eyes Binghe is having sex with a man, but to him it's someone who is so far below him in terms of pure raw manliness that it might as well be a woman. Like if I, a man, was fucked by Luo Binghe’s incredible heavenly pillar, I'd probably manage to get pregnant!

🥒 peerlesscucumber

STOP TELLING ME I'M OVULATING.

[blackwatersbonefish]

i finished the shizun keychain :3

[blackwatersbonefish]

shen qingqiu keychain i’m working on (+drying system board)

[blackwatersbonefish]

I think it would be really funny if Shen Yuan was a successful author in his first life. Like a high brow, award winning, people dissect his work in lit classes, successful writer. People think he’s reclusive and brooding in a J.D. Salinger way (he’s not, he’s just an antisocial nerd) and his books are super emotional and reflect on the human condition (an accident, SY genuinely does not realize when things are tragic, nor when they’re super homoerotic). He becomes Shang Qinghua’s literary hero, and yeah he wants to be able to write like him one day, but bad smut is what pays the bills regardless of what Peerless Cucumber has to say. So once they’ve both transmigrated, they’re arguing about his writing and SQH is like “Well if it’s so easy to write a book, why don’t you do it?!” and SY is like “I have, it’s not that hard.” (think Elle Woods talking about getting into Harvard energy) and SQH is all sarcastic “Let me guess, you were Shen Yuan in your past life? Pfft” and SY is just like “yeah, actually”. And SQH just blue screens because he cannot accept that this emotionally constipated doofus who’s read every chapter of his shitty smut book is the same guy who wrote a book that made him cry so hard he couldn’t breathe. He just turns around and walks away and then walks off the edge of Bai Zhan Peak like this.