blackponyclub

[blackponyclub]

tbh harrow is such a mood, cause like, i too would rather give my own self a lobotomy and forget about the death of the person that's most important to me, if i had the chance to, or do anything and be on denial instead of dealing with my grief and face it dead on??

or are we just broken??

[blackponyclub]

have YOU 🫵 thought about gideon nav today?

[blackponyclub]

okayy, so in HtN, harrow's soul was given the options of exit: (a) to the river, leaving her body completely, which means letting herself go; or (b) go home, wake up, which means letting gideon go — destroying gideon's soul.. in the end, after discovering the truth from dulcie, she ended up going to the river.... and she rest with gideon's stuff, the sword and the magazine.

she's still making sure gideon lives... making sure gideon's soul is not destroyed or lost, even if that means she's letting herself go.. she was given the choice to live, but she sacrifices herself for gideon now..

[blackponyclub]

same gideon, same... i too would have a crush on a cute older woman who shows me a lot of attention and we have a flirt-maybe thing going on.. same. understandable

[blackponyclub]

finished harrow the ninth.. and some of the moments make me want to bang my head against the wall actually..

but you were always too quick to mourn your own ignorance. you could have guessed that he had seen me.

and then, there's this one

you were gone. you'd left me behind.

the ultimate i want to bang my head against the wall moment:

you put me in a box and buried me rather than give up your own goddamned agenda. harrowhark, i gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it.

[blackponyclub]

so like.. commander wake haunted harrow in the form of the body, then saying she left harrow and switched to cytherea's corpse.. all without being a necromancer?

[blackponyclub]

even after the lobotomy, harrow's body still remembered.. the mixed feelings she has with the sword, gideon's sword.. the way her ears bled when gideon (a.k.a "ortus") was mentioned..

this part about the mixed feeling with the sword: "you hated its presence, but the world without it would be unimaginable"?? her body remembered..

i am broken

[blackponyclub]

forget i love you, how about i fucked up my brain just so you could live? i write every letter to my future self after the lobotomy to make sure it works according to plan, to keep you alive?

forget i love you, how about i jump off a fence so that you can consume me, and I'll be useful to you and you'll get your initial goal to be a lyctor and save the house?

[blackponyclub]

i have a problem... on the first few chapters of rereading harrow the ninth, and the way ianthe is described... she's so hot. is that even allowed?? I'm afraid I'm falling in love with her... good for me, good for me

it's so hot how ianthe figured everything out without having to complete challenges or swapping keys... her mind, damn she's a genius. that's hot

[blackponyclub]

ahaa just remembered i started this year reading gideon the ninth in jan, and I'm also ending this year with re-reading the series.. good for me, good for me. finished reading gtn two days ago-ish? currently rereading harrow the ninth, it might be my first book i also read next year if i haven't finished it

[blackponyclub]

damn... harrow really meant it when she said she can't really conceive a universe without gideon in it.. but on the other hand, gideon seems to not realize she's THAT important to harrow? DUDE she performed a lobotomy and ruined herself just for you.. for you to live.. she really meant it when she said she owes you your life, gideon... even when she's on the verge of passing out, she's like "Did you see me? Did you behold me, Griddle?" just for your acknowledgement that she's cool and the best necromancer?? she gives up being the lyctor, which was her original motivation, bcs it involves consuming you??? harrow is down bad for gideon

[blackponyclub]

Harrow's power is sickly cool wtf, imagine being able to manipulate bones and use them to fight or create something. wow

[blackponyclub]

sometimes i wonder.. what's that like if we have Harrow's pov instead for GtN, cause i know gideon is not paying attention to the lyctor stuff and puzzles, but harrow is (since she's obviously trying to become one from the start).

but then again, gideon's pov is very helpful and detailed in explaining battles and noticing fighting styles (how she notices Camilla is not that familiar with rapier, how she notices the way the cavaliers fights.. and how she notices tern fighting style in ianthe after ianthe ate him)

[blackponyclub]

it's so hot how ianthe figured everything out without having to complete challenges or swapping keys... her mind, damn she's a genius. that's hot

[blackponyclub]

re-reading gideon the ninth and every time it came to the part where corona is involved, her world seems to slow down and appreciate coronabeth. she's very gay