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This used to be on YouTube, but I haven't been able to find it lately?? It's a beautiful and powerful poetic short film about reproductive rights in Ireland 👌🏽

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Not Your Grandma’s Racism: Final Reflection

Going to Ireland put a lot of the social issues that I’m deeply invested in into perspective, and while I am an intersectional feminist, I am going to narrow in on race, and racism.

As the only black female student on the trip I was nervous about the usual stuff most black college age women are concerned about when living with someone new (white). Will I have time to pre-poo, wash, oil, and then set my hair? Will they stare at me the whole time I’m doing it? How will it go when I wear my scarf for the first time? Or when I wear my protective styles?

How do I respond to any of these, or any other micro aggressions-in combination to adjusting to interacting with Non-American, Europeans? What is Ireland’s relationship with people of color (POC), especially black people. I was very nervous as I was only ever familiar with the relationship dynamics of Irish-Americans and black Americans, which has been complicated, and historically strained to say the least. Now, I want to be clear about what I am about to say, and the context of which I say it: First, I only had three weeks to conduct a racial litmus test in Ireland, and twenty-one years in the US. Second, that issues surrounding race exist everywhere, and third I can only speak to my own experiences and to assume that my words have the power to envelop the entire black experience would be deeply problematic.

With all that being said, I did not feel nearly the same degree of racialized attention, (negative or otherwise) during my time in Cork, Ireland. Meaning that I did not feel Black everywhere I went as I do here in the states, especially on my predominately white institution (PWI).

Did I still get fetishzed? Yes.

Was I still aware of how many people were staring at me, and make a conscious effort not to appear “suspicious” when I walked into a store? Hell yes.

And did other women put their hands in my hair, or refer to me as the one other black person they know?...Of fucking course.

But did at any point did I feel like I was carrying around my racial perceptions everywhere I went? No.

All of the truly negative interactions I had can be pinpointed to one horrible night out, and four comments- two of which were made by the same person, and that person was American.

This is not to champion casual racism as the best we can do, but to call attention to the fact that I immediately noticed the racism deficit. This is largely due to the fact that most of the conversations that I had about race with other Irish people were intersectional, socially aware, and historically conscious. Most of the conversations took place with white women- something that has been a rare experience for me, and they were not shy about having a dialogue. Not every conversation was earth shatteringly profound, and white Jesus did not come down and apologize for the actions of his people, but that willingness to acknowledge that race and the intricate power racist systems have was refreshing to the point where I felt emboldened to embrace my blackness in ways that usually cause me stress back home. I felt more comfortable delving into my play and being honest about how white supremacy, and the powers that be destroyed the structure of leadership in my community- AND NOT BE CHALLENGED ON IT.

I am fully aware that this shouldn’t be something that excites me as much as it is, but it is. I grew up in racist ass Tucson, Arizona, and to put it into focus a little more, my best friend of eight years still has a confederate flag in her bedroom closet-a sentimental momento from her grandfather. That layered, and internalized practice of perpetuating racism is the sort of American™ brand racism that I am accustomed to. It is more confrontational, more intentional, all the while being seriously mundane, and therefore is often seen as subtle.

Despite the fact that I came with the intention of focusing on feminist issues while in Ireland, I ended up focusing on race related issues, especially in regards to American™ racism. The play I wrote features a disembodied character called White America, and I had hesitated to read that character description aloud at our showcase, until I realized that was mostly a reflexive fear of not upsetting a room full of white people. I am so glad that I did however, because it revealed an audience that I hadn’t fully considered. Many of the people that came up to me about my play, funny enough, were white men asking where my play was being put on, offering up support to make it happen, sadly a truly rare experience for me with white, cisgendered men. All (half) jokes aside, it showed me how art as a medium of resistance is able to show an experience in a way that other academic, or casual methods can’t with the same level of impact.

I am grateful for this experience for a number of reasons, a few being that it helped me to more accurately identify how systems of oppression operate in way that has greatly impacted my art, but also because in a very real way, I was able to take a break from the U.S.’s deeply racist culture. Our influence is quite strong in Ireland, but they are very much a take-no-shit type of people and it is an attitude that I will continue to incorporate in my life as well as in my art.

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Just a video about how Ireland has impacted me <3

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Showcase Reflection

The last two days have been particularly stressful, but more rewarding than I would have imagined. I lay in bed, and if it weren't for the one hundred and one other things that I have left to do, I’d think I was dreaming.

In the first showcase I knew that I’d be sharing something was meant to be a part of a larger production, so how I presented it was important to me. When you present a poem, it is an entire body of work. Monologues are just a fragment, and though I believe they should be representative of the quality of the work, they don’t show the pieces breadth. I wasn’t sure that I’d even have enough time to finish the play, and that seriously impacted how I interacted with this solid, but disembodied monologue. My play deals with the intergenerational relationship/transition between different generations within the black community after the Civil Rights Movement. The complexity of this topic, as it can be discussed from various angles, made it difficult to remain economic with the monologue and the one act play itself.

When I was able to sit down and allow it to develop I was able to give it more shape and definition. Because I had only just met my monologue, I was really nervous that people would be dismissive of it, or uninterested, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that a lot of people had questions and wanted to know more.

Experiencing all of that (^^^^) made the next day easier. I was fortunate enough to be invited to collaborate with Mick O’Shea and Irene Murphy (established sound artists) and read three of my poems, the first being the longest piece of my own poetry that I’ve ever read in public before. All of the pieces were written while here in Ireland, and were performed with no rehearsal, or prior preparation on either party’ s part. I have never done anything like that before, and to be honest I have no idea how it went. I blacked out a little, I’m not sure if I even I read each piece in its entirety. One moment I was speaking, and the next I wasn’t. Regardless, my pieces sparked a lot of conversation, even between me and some of my fellow classmates. Many asked if all of the pieces had been mine, and if I had really named one of my poems after a bath bomb (the answer is yes to both.) This was incredibly affirming for me as it is so easy to fall into disillusionment about the quality of your own work, especially if you are not in the habit of sharing it like me.

Though I am proud of myself for sharing, speaking in regards to the second showcase, I wish I had taken Mick’s advice to really slow down, and read until I felt I finished. I had another piece, but felt that I’d taken my fair share of time. That is still something I am learning how to do. I need to start owning my own space as artist. The rest of the evening was just electric! Creative energy filled every single space and body in that room (thank you Super Blue Blood moon), and it was just magical. Me and my heart are so full.

Thank you to Ó Bhéal for your warmth and kindness.

To the Guest House, The Long Valley , and the Village Hall for shelter and opportunity.

And Mick O’Shea and Irene Murphy for a new experience.

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Digital Story Script

This is potentially the song I’ll have playing in the background of my digital story (which I will also post here). Below is a link that takes you the first draft of my digital script!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1p3fdVUSMRL_tcFobL0DgDcz-vBZy5hTZl7v4DHnEtqI/edit?usp=sharing

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Things to See in Moher: A Poetic Travelogue

I sit alone on the bus as the Paddywagon rolls through towns plopped between small seas. I am immediately overtaken by the quietness of these places and their somber beauty as we coast towards the famous Cliffs of Moher. I don’t know what quite to expect, but I know it will be wonderful. Throughout my time here in Ireland I have tried to write something everyday, but have failed more often than not. Instead of trying to force completed pieces, I’ve taken to collecting things in my notes. This is nearly impossible as we drive through a lush, and swelling country side that only grows in beauty as we near the cliffs. My head is all daydreams and lyrics as I begin to write a list of all that I see, as it is all worthy of being remembered.

Things to See in Moher

Hidden beaches between the flat green  Glass patios with brightly colored frames Sea chipped rocks And all the sky in the world Haunted places Remembered castles, rebirthed by magic

And the sound of 32 pitter pattering feet

Houses that look like board game pieces amongst homes made of the land, The sun shines in Doolin down in the cradle of the Earth's hand Where cursed forgotten houses hold the history of the open green fields, where people died from the gnawing of their stomachs and babes were born amidst the mists of the Atlantic Lonely lovely houses With ghostly crawl spaces Faceless demons watch over you, making sure that you don't over stay your welcome. This is a haunted place. At night the ghosts sweep and mop the floor boards, and the maidens knead bread Children play with twigs and sticks, and the rest of them are dead. The sheep and horses graze the land on the back of a winter's breeze, And in the darkness Ireland steals the heart of you and me. Caves a half mile deep Bushes dotted with berries black Rest upon sticks that stick back Such a beautiful haunting! Trees bare of leave but full of dark magic! 😈 This land is rich to be reaped.

We continue our journey and I am filled with witchy energy, existing outside of my body as we pull up to the cliffs, and our guide shares a story about the man who invented the submarine. I find this extremely ironic as we are several hundred feet over the Atlantic. The sky is a liquid grey, the air tastes wet and sweet, and I think about how isolated a person could feel here so far above the sea.

J.P. Holland

The man who built the submarine came from a land of the saddest green. With houses dropped and speckled across Land large and open, colored like moss. No where to go, nowhere to hide On a green splayed so open wide, He writhed and wriggled under the eye Of the great white of a judgmental sky. Dense so dense was a fog so thick One couldn't see with candle's wick. Opal iridescent where the shadows hide, Monsters played and monsters lied. Thick curtains of water cover a haunted house, Cliffs hover over history like a cat over mouse. As high as the water is deep, The smell of sea water drowned him in his sleep. He pulled his covers up over his head, under the sea, but still in bed Down, down the Cliffs of Moher in dream And he called this invention the submarine.

Once we reached the top the sky was filled with heavy fog cover, but to be in the birth place of giants and magic-as I am sure it is- was enough for me. There is something forbidden, and all to enticing about the Cliffs of Moher that will stay with me forever. I say a prayer at the end of my trip as we make our way back, and I am fully satisfied.

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Welcome to Ó Bhéal

Famous for their Five Word poetry challenge, regulars and newcomers alike had five words of their own for Ó Bhéal: Inspiring, mad, brilliant, dynamic, warm. Being able to be a part of a community like Ó Bhéal was refreshing, funny, tender, and everything that I felt I’d been missing. In fact, it is one of the things that I will miss most about Cork.

The interviews my team and I conducted helped to widen the keyhole through which I was viewing Ó Bhéal. Paul Casey, the arts administrator, asked us to create a promotional video for Ó Bhéal that used first hand feedback from it’s community members and also spoke to the diversity of the organization. We had ideas to interview people with varying levels of interaction with  Ó Bhéal, from random people on the street to other people in partnership with them through projects like The Book of Unfinished Poetry. However, that proved to be wildly for the amount of time we had to work within and decided to conduct interviews with people who attended their annual Monday poetry night. Of the eight interviews we conducted, and due to their responses, our video heavily focused on their famous Five Word Challenge, the impossibly talented guest poets, and we asked each to pick a word they would use to describe Ó Bhéal.

We combined these responses with actual footage of he Five Word Challenge, Gopro footage, exterior shots of the pub, and audio tracks provided by Paul Casey. Editing the footage proved to be much more of a challenge than we had expected, and the tech we used was not collaboration friendly, but actually conducting the interviews, and simply being there on Mondays gave the project more weight to me personally.

Our first trip there we were simply spectators, some of us participated in the Five Word Challenge, but mostly we sat and took in the good vibes, creative energy, and a pint or two of Murphy’s. After we had conducted the interviews at the meeting the following week, the people we had meet before came and chatted with us, congratulated us for sharing our work, and generally made us feel welcome in the space. I often find that people will exaggerate when given the opportunity, myself wholly included, but what the participants had said was just accurate. Ó Bhéal is mad, inspiring, brilliant, warm, cozy, welcoming, dynamic, and above all else it is a community.

I find social events and commitments to be very draining and difficult, but Ó Bhéal’s atmosphere is very much come as you are, and interact as you will. They take all types and that reality is reflected in every face in the room. When people are genuinely in love with something it cannot be contained, and the windows of The Long Valley hayloft are overflowing every Monday night.

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Your Friendly Neighborhood Arts Admin

Before this trip I really had no concept of what arts administration was, or what role it played in the arts community. I thought there were people who made art and then the people who paid for it, people who appreciate it, and sometimes theses people were one and the same. In my imagination the events, showcases, and galleries were put together by the rich curators, sophisticated board members, and frantic PR people who pulled all of the strings behind the scenes. While there are sectors of highly bureaucratic arts administration, this trip helped me to see the more local, independent actors in the field which seem to have a more immediate impact on the community.

I say this because of the way the art comes from and feeds back into the community. Art has a political nature that is uniquely positioned to address small currents within a society without having to pander to the concerns of the state at large. The intimacy of smaller arts administrative bodies allows them to take advantage of art as resistance by providing open platforms, arranging spaces around prevalent, but localized issues, and is able to connect communities of artists.

I got the opportunity to organize a small promotional video for local poetry organization called Ó Bhéal, (which hosts weekly poetry nights, as well as a variety of poetry competitions and festivals) and got to look see just how much arts administration can nourish and support a community. I conducted a number of interviews with regular participants, and it became overwhelmingly clear that Ó Bhéal was home. Participants became caught up in their descriptions of the warmth, openness, support, and community. As an artist finding true community, one that truly fully allows you to experiment and speak your truth is invaluable.

Though communities don’t always agree on everything, there is a shared frame of mind that can help you strengthen, or refine elements of your beliefs and artistic expression. Once you have found that place, and found love/acceptance in that place there comes a sense of ownership and responsibility. At least for me I feel that I should give back what my community has given in hopes that we can both grow and flourish. I am someone who is very detailed oriented, and has a lot of ideas (opinions), so this type of work suits me very well, whether that manifests as participating in weekly open mics, participating in a think tank, or lending a hand in intern level administrative work. Seeing the administrative elements has helped complete the communal feedback loop and has helped me to appreciate all of the work that goes unseen.

If you’re interested in learning more about Ó Bhéal, or their events like the 5 Word Poetry competition, click the link below!

http://www.obheal.ie/blog/open-mic-nights/#comments

All photos have been labeled for noncommercial reuse, are my own, are otherwise noted on the image, or cited below.

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6 Ways To Cope with High Functioning Depression | Psych2Go (New Video)

This is important. Help reblog?

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“Your Black Friend" animated short film by Ben Passmore, Alex Krokus & Krystal Downs

truly accurate.

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Street art in Mexico city

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If anyone is in the Cork area, Tuesday and Wednesday night my artist study abroad class is having a showcase! Come through!

Art by Tegan Stuart, insta :@teganstu23

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I often find that I don’t always utilize the notebooks I carry around with me like I should. Sometimes I do and I’ll catch part of my original thought, but when I sit down to work on it, most of it is gone, or has morphed into a completely different poem.

SOOOO, I’m trying something I’m calling Off the Cuff poetry, where I just record myself wherever I am reciting stream of thought poetry. It may already be a genre, but it’s new to me so...

These are unedited, full of mistakes and background noises, and not always with the best delivery (like this one, my b y’all), but it prevents me from over editing, forgetting my work, and is good practice for reading my work out loud. It is meant to be raw, new, unpracticed work and if you'd like to give it a try, record yourself and tag it #off the cuff poetry!

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Repeal Woman & the Man with the Bleeding Heart: Artist Interview

Kathy D’Arcy poet by day, Repeal Woman superhero extraordinaire by night, feminist queen always. Kathy D'Arcy has had a relationship with our group prior to our trip to Ireland, however my first time meeting her was in our myth making workshop just last week. I was in love immediately. I’d been having difficulty arranging interviews with other feminist activists in Cork, or Dublin, due to timing issues, or a lack of activist self-identification. However, D’Arcy wore her activism on her breast in big white letters: REPEAL. She opened her session with a mediation that brought us through concrete and metal to earth and soil. Effectively creating a space for us to acknowledge our reality, before bringing us to an exercise that would allow us to transform it-a practice I found that she holds to in her own artistry.

During the actual interview, D’Arcy discussed the tension between her identity as an artist and as an activist. Her work as a poet has always been guided by sincerity; even as a child she could only write what felt organic and honest. This began with poems about springtime and birthdays, then shifted to “pressure cooker” poetry which provided an outlet for her pent up teen angst. During this time her work had begun to lag as she struggled with self-identity and cultivating her own personal beliefs. She was raised in strict religious environment, that did not (and does not) value her creative practice, and actively sought to control what she produced. At the age of 18, she had a chance encounter with a group of women who had been directly affected by the 8th amendment, and had an opportunity to engage these women, these people who had formerly just been nameless faces in a disapproving society. By truly taking the time to recognize the humanity, and reality of these women she moved into a space where she could help lift people up, instead of condemning them from a place of judgement and apathy.

This encounter allowed her to open up a dialogue that would eventually move her away from her pro-life, very strict Catholic upbringing to a more progressive, pro-choice world-view. Recognizing that these women were in fact women, who deserved to have autonomy over their bodies as a basic human right. Up until that point, she had been writing poetry that played into the pre-approved, traditionally romantic, and nonpolitical themes for “good Irish women”. Whereas after, her work in poetry and playwriting became influenced by her feminist engagement- even reducing the production of her creative works at times in order to participate more fully in the Repeal the 8th movement. While her dedication has taken priority over her work as a poet, she continues to manifest her abilities for change and has taken up as the press representative for Rebels for Choice. She does a number of other administrative writing on behalf of the organization, like grant writing, while making perforrmative alterations to documents like the Irish Constitution.

What I love about the way she engages with her activism, besides the topic itself, is her absolute dedication. This includes being open and receptive to change, and constructive criticism from within the group, because she recognizes that the more voices that can be heard and lifted up, only add strength and power to the movement. In our interview she mentioned that groups of marginalized women had raised concerns that they were being pushed out of leadership roles, and that their issues (especially those of migrant women) were being glossed over. D’Arcy was very transparent and blunt about this reality, and named a number of places where the organization has room to become more inclusive. For D’Arcy her commitment to the women in this nation, natural born or otherwise, is unwavering and unapologetic-a practice I am trying to manifest in my own writing. I tend to pull my punches when speaking my truth in order not to offend my audience. All this has done is water down my work and leave me with a haunting feeling of dissatisfaction. Her boldness and “don’t give a fuck” attitude reverberates in every statement, every full bellied laugh, and declaration of self that she shared, and I will hold that with me forever.

Bubba Shakespeare:

Bubba Shakespeare (Bubba) is a free spirit. Our encounter was chance as I met him after his interview with another student. He had come to talk about his art as a rapper, but he also writes poetry, plays, and stand up comedy. He wears his heart on his sleeve, a smile on his face, and has a world of love in his heart. His artist style is open, gritty, and sincere- all traits that I want to incorporate into my own writing.

As an artist I immediately resonated with his most recent project which he calls “Understanding my Shadow”. Your shadow is something that everyone has, which is filled with darkness, self-destructive tendencies, and is ultimately a negative reflection of ourselves that threatens to take us over if we refuse to address it. His work confronts the shadow head on as he uses his writing as a way to combat his demons in a productive manor. Very similar to myself, Bubba’s art takes on a deeply reflective point of view, and explores his own vulnerability in order to connect with others. The rising rate of male suicide in Ireland is a major concern of his, which he attributes to a culture of toxic masculinity that prevents men in this community from seeking emotional support. This reality has heavily influenced his next album, and has given his work understated political undertones. His art takes on some difficult topics which he speaks candidly about in his music and poetry--satirically in his comedy, and what’s left behind is a clear, fluid conscience which feeds back into his work in a continuous cycle in way that shares his journey with the audience.

An angel in disguise, Bubba seeks to acknowledge the human in everyone, including himself. He lives this in every interaction, and it is very comforting to witness as he treats himself, and everyone around him with intentional kindness. His work extends beyond the page as he also uses his art to engage with his Cork community. He’s does street talks, rap battles, and has performed poetry for the YouTube channel TheLabtv Ireland in order to stay connected to this close knit community. (https://youtu.be/XBew4jXUtaU). He speaks about serious topics, without taking himself too seriously in order to maintain a “karmic flow” within his life, and is always looking for the craic***.  

***The craic is Irish slang, meaning what’s up, what’s the joke, or that something is funny.***

To listen to Understanding My Shadow by Bubba Shakespeare click below!

https://youtu.be/1mon0_dg6uc

All photos have been labeled for noncommercial reuse, are my own, are otherwise noted on the image, or cited below.

                                           Works Cited

        Shakespeare, Bubba. “Bubba Shakespeare-Understanding My Shadow.” Youtube.com, Cork, 4 Dec. 2017, youtu.be/1mon0_dg6uc.                                   

Original notes below:

Kathy D’arcy has had a relationship with our group prior to our trip to Ireland, however my first time meeting her was in our myth making workshop just last week. I was in love immediately. I’d been having difficulty arranging interviews with other feminist activists in Cork, or Dublin, due to timing issues, or a lack of activist self-identification. However, D’arcy wore her activism on her breast in big white letters: REPEAL. She opened her session with a mediation that brought us through concrete and metal to earth and soil. Effectively creating a space for us to acknowledge our reality, before bringing us to an exercise that would allow us to transform it-a practice I found that she holds to in her own artistry.

During the actual interview, D’arcy discussed the tension between her identity as an artist and as an activist.  At the age 18, she had a self-revelation when she encountered a group of women who had been directly affected by the 8th amendment and had a chance to humanize the nameless faces of the women who had been blacklisted by society. This encounter allowed her to open up a dialogue that would eventually move her away from her pro-life, very strict Catholic upbringing to a more progressive, pro-choice world-view. This is significant, because up until that point, she had been writing poetry that was somewhat detached through tradition and nonpolitical, whereas after, her work became influenced by her feminist engagement. This dedication has taken priority over her work as a poet, however, she has taken up the cross the press representative for Rebels for Choice and does a number of other administrative writing on behalf of the organization.

What I love about her commitment to her activism, besides the topic itself, is her absolute dedication. This includes being open and receptive to change, and constructive criticism from within the group. Groups of marginalized people had raised concerns that they were not being allowed to occupy space within the movement, an issue that D’arcy was very transparent and named a number of places where the organization can improve and become more inclusive. For D’arcy her commitment to the women in this nation, natural born or otherwise, is unwavering and unapologetic, which I hope can inspire my own writing. I tend to pull my punches when speaking my truth in order not to offend my audience. All this  has done is water down my work and leave me with a haunting feeling of dissatisfaction. Her boldness and “don’t give a fuck” attitude reverberates in every statement, every full bellied laugh, and declaration of self, and I will hold that with me forever.

Bubba Shakespeare

Bubba Shakespeare (Bubba) is a free spirit. Our encounter was chance as I met him after his interview with another student. He had come to talk about his art as a rapper, but he also writes poetry, plays, and stand up comedy. He wears his heart on his sleeve, a smile on his face, and has a world of love in his heart.

As an artist I immediately resonated with his most recent project about the “shadow” that everyone has, which is filled with darkness, self-destructive tendencies, and is ultimately the negative reflection of ourselves that threatens to take us over if we refuse to address it. Very similar to myself Bubba’s art takes on a deeply reflective point of view, and explores his own vulnerability to connect with others. The rising rate of male suicide in Ireland is a major concern of his, and he attributes it to a culture of toxic masculinity that prevents men in this community from seeking emotional support. This has influenced his next album, his poetic projects as well as how he carries himself in his daily life. Bubba seeks to acknowledge the human in everyone, including himself.  He lives this in every interaction, and it is very comforting to witness as he treats himself, and everyone around him with  intentional kindness.

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Reading Rites

Interpret

Emergent Strategies is an alternative, highly sustainable, lifestyle guide. As a tool for transformative justice, it first proposes radical self transformation that can then be applied outside of oneself in the larger community. The author, Adrienne Maree Brown, is consistent in her presentation of the information, making sure to truly represent the idea that “[h]ow we are at the small scale is how we are at the large scale” (52) through the framework of the book itself. It begins on an elemental level, discussing the nature of things with the example of fractals, to the types of relationships we have and the characteristics they might take on within a system of patterns. Gradually she begins interconnecting these themes until the reader is encouraged to apply it to their own life on a larger scale: the book being small on a conceptual level, and self-application being large relatively.

B. Evaluate

This ideology is powerful, but can easily be misused to support patterns of exhaustion and exploitation in a capitalistic environment, which I do not believe to be her intention. Manipulators might take that statement and refocus it within a capitalist context that demands endless production and competition to continue the idea that if I am always productive, always working overtime to improve/make money/etc, then I have high levels of success and happiness. This removes any feeling of community, empathy, and our sense of connectedness to a world that is able to provide more than financial stability. This book is deeply human and encourages people to reflect inward as well as out while recognizing that others are seeking to do the same. Her attention and emphasis on simply being aware are evident in the text, as she takes the time to include sections promoting self-kindness, patience, forgiveness, and even provides different spells to help us take care of the human inside.

C. Connect

I have taken this concept of small scale actions to heart, and have actively tried to apply this to my life whenever I have the opportunity. I know that I have a tendency to make myself small in order to protect myself, out of fear, and out of habit, so I have tried to use this trip to let myself be big, and to stretch out my arms and see how far they will reach. I have taken moments to be myself without apology in small chunks, so that at some point it becomes habit and I forget that I lived inside a cage. I am taking time to be kind to myself, to do my best everyday with what I am given to make what was not, and taking time to affirm my own artistry so that it will flourish on a larger scale.

D. Question

Love is a radical form of resistance, especially as we move further into a politically divisive period, with that being said, how do we practice love towards those who promote hate culture? Should we seek to un-romanticize love in order to present it as a more palatable tool for people who seek to trivialize its importance? And if we do, what does that say about us a community if we have to convince others of love’s validity as a transformative tool? How do you define love in the context of transformative justice and what are its limitations as a tool?

Artistic Process Portion:

This reading has helped me to pinpoint what impact I want my art to have. While it is cathartic tool for myself, I hope to facilitate that openness to vulnerability for others. I use my work to address my feelings, and difficult relationships in a way that does not allow me to avoid them, nor demonize them without demonizing myself. The workshop with Kathy D’Arcy began with a meditation and journal that helped to recenter me within this course-as it has been inspiring but overwhelming at points. Having that moment to address that anxiety around all the creating we are responsible for helped ground me in my final project. I am going to create a play exploring the themes of self-imprisonment and deceit in the black community and white Christianity. Due to the nature of the play and the sensitivity around race and religion, I have been trying to practice self-care while working on this project, which has meant pacing myself, moving to locations that feel comfortable, semi-private, and giving myself permission to be honest. I don’t feel as though everyone will understand where I’m coming from, nor do I need them to, but I do need someone who I feel comfortable brainstorming with who will be able to discuss ideas with. I know that these themes are not exclusively owned by people of color, but at this moment those are the people I feel most comfortable sharing my creative process with, but overall I am excited to see where this goes!

*All photos have been labeled for noncommercial reuse, are my own, or are otherwise noted on the image.

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The Big Sleep

***The format got a little wonky, but I hope you enjoy!***

I drop the world in the bathtub and watch it fall apart

It sizzles and cracks before it melts,

And reveals it’s gooey center

I soak in the beautiful blue carnage

And take pleasure in the floating remains,

Feeling it’s delicate against my own tendriled fingers

Before I smooth them out into nothingness

And for a moment I think I’m God.

Unforgiving waters look back at me

And tell me this is not so.

The blue emptiness stares back with only my naked form to interrupt it,

I realize I am not the heroine of my story,

But the ends.

Purified, but not innocent I take the big sleep.

[blackinthegreenirjanterm]

Humans of Earth: Artist Statement

Humans are relational beings. Meaningful connections to one another, to nature, and to the Divine, are what shape and enrich our lives. These connections are not only essential, but inevitable as we live in a world that is inherently bound in relatedness. We are not as detached and separate from those we label as the Other— nor are we more valuable than the natural world that sustains us.Simply meaning that everything and everyone is a part of the Divine, the universe, each other and that we should act accordingly. As an artist I aim to dissolve these illusions of separation and detachment by emphasizing our communal hunger for relationship, as well as the harm and nearly simultaneous fulfillment that can come from it.

Our collective pursuit of community, love, and validation are often trivialized or oversimplified by institutions of power that require social stratification in order to classify people and assert their respective degrees of humanity. When groups of people are systematically dehumanized, their experiences get dismissed as the mad howlings of dogs. When we choose to belittle the pain of others, when we choose Darwinian reasoning over our divine intuition and emotional counterparts, we are actively rejecting elements of ourselves that have roots extending past our own lifetimes. People are bound by connection on a multitude of levels ranging from the need for other human contact to our metaphysical connection to the Divine and the cosmos. Those connections demand recognition and validation as these forces (late capitalism, patriarchy, racism, etc.) continue to fervorously create false distinctions in socio political climate on the verge of schism.

As a result, I have focused my work on relational intersection—especially around issues relating to intersectional feminism/womanism and ecofeminism. My work pulls from my own personal experiences as well as my background in sociology. Both have allowed me to engage the complexity of a multitude of relationships on a deeper emotional and social level. My art tries to strike at the core of our humanity through emotional vulnerability and analysis of a variety of relationships. I frequently refer to my own relationships and experiences with vulnerability in the hopes that my audience will reciprocate. The audience can expect a blend of realism and romanticism, in an attempt to relay a truth even if I’m telling a lie. Experience are multifaceted and full of grey, and the stories we tell reveal different truths than the ones we’re aware of.

My own writing (poetry, essays. Plays, etc) work to uplift the truths of traditionally marginalized groups, and seek to explore our socio-political climate from those vantage points. While some of my works tackle contemporary issues, like sexual autonomy for women, I try to acknowledge its connection to a larger historical moment. In order to even discuss such a topic it is our responsibility as artists, to record the stories, faces, victories, and loses of those before us, so that we may continue to pass on our narrative histories to the next generations. My poems will be the inheritance I leave behind, and my plays an anthropological map of the world as I knew it. A humanistic perspective adds layers that remain relevant and relatable long past their creation. Holistic stories that strike at the wick break people down into beings of instinct, and momentarily dislodge them from blinding pretense and simply feel, a pass time we seldom do anymore. In the end, I hope that my work is evocative and allows the reader to simply feel human.

Resistance Statement

To deny the significance and great connecting power of emotion, to deny the power and necessity of empathy is to reject our own humanity. I recognize that the history of human interaction is a complex, but as we have “progressed” systems of power have created and reinforced stratification that has made classes of people deemed nonhuman. I fully resist, reject, and rebuke the idea that we exist separately from one another. When we choose to belittle the pain of others, when we choose Darwinian reasoning over our divine intuition and emotional counterparts, we are actively rejecting elements of ourselves that have roots extending past our own lifetimes. It is important to acknowledge that while do have individual lives, we must not forget to celebrate marginalized histories, to voice our transgressions, and live with the knowledge that all of it is a part of the same story. To do any of this, we must begin on an individual level by acknowledging fully our relationships and connections with the world around us. I aim to create by example by attempting to fully embrace my emotions, conflicting as they maybe, and allow myself to be human-a part of something bigger than myself.

*All photos have been labeled for noncommercial reuse, are my own, or are otherwise noted on the image.