bl-archivistnpc

[bl-archivistnpc]

House 2025 would be him playing infinity Nikki and losing the gacha "damn this is why I hate gacha games ", "hey Cameron do think I can style this hair with this top , what! You're the only woman in this department "

[bl-archivistnpc]

Ok I'm getting through season 5 and I feel like taub has beef with literally every patient that comes in , like almost 3-5 episodes in a row. My God

[bl-archivistnpc]

I'm with you on that because if they did have a romantic relationship I feel like literally nothing would change in their relationship. They are close as they can be. Also they're are so complicated in their own right and writing them together is even harder. But nevertheless I love reading fics of them

the thing about house and wilson is that it is nearly Impossible for anyone to explain or write their dynamic. no fic hits quite the same as the show- people make wilson too nice or too soft, or dont make house funny enough, dont get his moral system right

and some of that is because half the fandom is 14, but i also think house and wilson are such an enigma. the canon events of the story alone are so gay its hard to reimagine them with them dating because... i mean they basically are. they what.. kiss now? okay but is that really gayer than, well, literally anything that happens in the show.

deleting a voicemail so wilson wont move out? outbidding cuddy for an apartment for the both of them to live in? buying an organ for house when he tells wilson to buy furniture to reflect himself? (fake) proposing in public? house faking his death to spend the last months of wilsons life with him? and those are just the obvious ones

man. they make me feel insane.

[bl-archivistnpc]

Schrodinger's toxic old man yaoi

I see a lot of people who are thinking about watching House MD asking if Hilson is cannon, here’s the objective truth: the whole show is a ‘will they won’t they’ but they never will except they also have been the whole time and will continue too

[bl-archivistnpc]

House md pseudo-episode #4

2025 House MD Chase is a transgender woman. The whole team argues about whether or not it’s appropriate for House to perform her bottom surgery. Wilson is against it and Chase CLAIMS she’s against it but secretly she’s interpreting him doing it as approval from her dad boss for her transition. Taub doesn’t gaf, he’s just pushing Chase to get a boob job and leaving the cards of surgeons who will do that on her work area. 13 finds herself attracted to Chase now that she’s presenting fem and has a whole crisis where she sleeps with 12 blonde women in one week. Wilson and Chase make a bingo card of transmisogynistic jokes and tells House if he doesn’t get a bingo by the end of the week he can do the bottom surgery. He gets 3 bingos but all the jokes are about Cuddy so he argues it shouldn’t count.

[bl-archivistnpc]

House md pseudo-episode #3

modern-day house m.d. episode where the patient is transmasc and on T, and after house reads his file he goes in and is reading off prescriptions like "estradiol cream, finasteride, prescription face wash, prescription deodorant... god, it's like you don't even want to be a man!" and the patient says "just because i wanna be a man doesn't mean i have to suffer all the shitty side effects" and house goes "it's all shitty side effects! being a man sucks!" before tossing the file down on the little tray table thing and leaving.

chase and cameron exchange A Look in the room and then while they're walking down the hall cameron's like "we should talk to him about it - maybe he'd be... happier? if he transitioned?" and chase rolls his eyes and is like "just because he thinks being a man sucks doesn't mean he's trans, every guy hates being a man at least some of the time" and then cameron gives him Another, Slightly Alarmed Look

we cut to house and wilson and wilson's looking at him like he's insane, going "so you... told the patient that being a man sucks?" and house laughs and says "sure did! i wanna know which will take longer - cameron coming to me concerned about my gender, or chase realizing he should be concerned about his gender. her gender? eh, probably easier to just stick with 'his' for now." wilson accuses him of being a sociopath and house looks fake-wounded and says "you know, if i am a sociopath, you're being ableist by attributing my cruel actions to my sociopathy, and if i'm not a sociopath then it's even worse that you're accusing me of being one just because i'm mean."

cuddy approaches house later and tells him that she heard about what he told the patient, and she is required both to make him take sensitivity training and also to provide him resources on transitioning if he wants to pursue that. house asks if him being a woman would make cuddy bisexual, and she raises and eyebrow and says "that ship sailed long ago" and doesn't elaborate on whether she means she isn't into house anymore so it doesn't matter or that she already is bi. house starts cyberstalking her to try to figure out if she slept with any of the women she's friends with on facebook. the team comes in to tell him about a new symptom and he shows them a photo of cuddy from college with a hot girl at a halloween party and is like "do you think they ever fucked? i think they fucked. even if they didn't, i'm gonna imagine they did." foreman tries to get them back on track but chase leans in to get a better look at the photo and it turns out to be wilson in a costume. there's an awkward beat of silence before cameron goes "SO, back to the patient!" and house makes a sort of dismissive "huh? oh, yeah, go test him for [whatever]" while staring intently at the photo.

he confronts wilson about the photo, wilson admits it's him, house starts by going "oh, yeah, but i'm the one having a gender crisis" but accidentally says "sexuality crisis" instead and wilson is like "house do you... do you think i'm hot in that photo?" and then we cut to chase asking cameron if she thinks he could pull off an outfit like that and they discuss it a little while doing a blood draw or LP or whatever. the patient gives them both A Look and is like "you know, you can get wigs and breast forms pretty cheap these days..." and chase is like "hm? oh, yeah i guess one of those costume supply sites would probably have stuff like that huh," and the patient raises his eyebrows at cameron who just shakes her head a tiny bit.

house accuses cuddy of sleeping with his best friend in the clinic lobby and she drags him into her office to ask what the hell he's talking about and he shows her the photo. she's like "yeah, we were at a halloween party together in college, so what?" and house says that wilson makes a really hot chick and asks if that's what awakened cuddy's "bi side," and cuddy just rolls her eyes and tells him to stop projecting his sexuality crisis onto her just because he thinks his best friend is hot. house asks if wilson was at least a good lay and cuddy says "find out for yourself!" before kicking him out of her office again.

house goes back to his office and cameron is pacing outside the door, and she looks nervous when he walks up to her. she follows him into his office and she has clearly prepared A Speech about how if he doesn't like being a man he doesn't have to be, and he doesn't even have to be a woman either, there's options, and it's never too late to transition no matter what people say, and he cuts her off like "yes yes you're very supportive, you clearly aced sensitivity training" and then he has the episode's Epiphany and it turns out that the patient transitioned too early and there was some (largely made-up and not actually backed by irl medical science) complication from starting his transition as a teenager, and the patient is like "oh so you're saying i did this to myself?" and house says "well legally at least, either your parents or the governor of new jersey did it to you - depends on who approved the hormones."

wilson comes up to him at the end and is like "you know, it's okay if you think i'm hot. and it's also okay if you're a woman. if you... ever need any tips on passing as one, i'm happy to help."

the ending is left ambiguous as to house's actual gender identity and, much like the autism episode, it kinda feels like the writers' room was full of heavy debate about whether house should be trans or not. we also never actually circle back to the fact that chase is definitely trans, it never comes up again, and this move pisses off both trans people and allies who wanted it to become A Story Arc and anti-trans people who are mad it even came up in a single episode, absolutely nobody is happy about how they handled that subplot.

[bl-archivistnpc]

House md pseudo-episode #2

The team would have an lgbt+ patient and Cameron would start a discussion about it and everyone would be like "ehh maybe idk if i would ever experiment like that" (except chase. That man was partying with dominatrixs in college, he exprimented). And then someone would mention House and Foreman would laugh and go "House doesn't have a gay bone in his body".

And House sees this as a challenge.

So he goes nextdoor and drags Wilson into the room and kisses him. In front of everyone. Poor Wilson is just confused, like unable to speak because hes so shocked type of confused. And Foreman would go "Please, you only did that because I mentioned something. It doesn't count,"

And for the rest of the episode House would do various things to try and prove to his team that, yes he is in fact fruity a little bit and poor Wilson is just along for the ride until House realizes "oh shit I don't think this is a joke anymore" and just ignores that revelation for the next few episodes until he's forced to deal with it

[bl-archivistnpc]

House md pseudo-episode #1

[There is also fanfic where house has hanahaki]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55278802

I feel like if Hanahaki disease was real in the House MD universe there’d be a whole episode about them treating a patient with it and they like lie or some shit about not telling so and so about their love or like the person they love is dead or something and so they try to cure them another way and the whole time House is like being a dick as always and making fun of them for it and like haha you won’t tell them you love them loser and then at the end of the episode the person the patient loves comes in at the last minute when the patient is on the brink of death and they confess and so the patient lives and gets a happy ending but then Wilson talks to House and says something like “the lengths people would go to to avoid rejection” and House would respond like “yeah these idiots would risk their lives just to not get their stupid feelings hurt” and then Wilson leaves and literally right after he’s gone House coughs up a few petals and barely reacts and just throws them into the trash or a fireplace or something and walks out into the hallway and the episode ends and it’s literally never brought up again

[bl-archivistnpc]

Both miao miao and mu Sheng

I am going get killed her yandere boyfriend, hope he chokes me.

Doing one of these but with my mutuals after seeing this image on my dash today!!

..Y'know he may be the god of war but.. I'm not mad. No, no not at all. :)

@xxgalacticambitionsxx @hatbox-apologist @ghostingyourass79 @kittieshauntedourfantasy @emerald194 @thatonerabbit @comical-icicle

[bl-archivistnpc]

I need a house md episode where it's just a regular episode but entirely from the side charcters's perspective like house does some insane shit they're like "oh here we go again" and the nurses bet on how many wrong diagnoses before they save the patient.

The entire department of oncology is constantly wondering where their department head is, the lunch ladies give extra portions to wilson because they know house eats his food,there is a chart of "the number of days without cuddy yelling at house" it's always zero. The pediatricians write fanfics about hilson,

the newbies always have crush on someone from house's department (like house calls out cam about being pretty enough to be a supermodel but 4man and chase are just as attractive)and everyone plays hospital bingo at end.

[bl-archivistnpc]

I only recently got into fanfiction and one of the things I love about is the don't engage policy and literally the way nothing is censored at all.the people aren't even least bit ashamed of consuming the content the like even if it's considered problematic.Like I seen so many people complaining about something that very clearly is stated on the tin like if you don't like dub/non con why are you reading this.

This is very clear with how people treat dark romance readers the amount so called rant youtubers "oh it's just all smut" fuck off you prude.The media you consume does not necessarily dictate your moral stance as long you do not endorse or engage in that kind of behaviour in real life and the awareness that it is not good. In the end it's all JUST FICTION.

More over you're reading it for FREE and the person who's making the content gets nothing in return AT ALL . So stop bothering the innocent person who created a fic for the IP that they love because it doesn't align with your personal values/tastes.

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

[bl-archivistnpc]

This so perfect and I love the duckling are doing a differential in the chat😭, chase's handle being 'Aussie fellow'

they had to ban twitch on the PPTH wifi because he kept livestreaming his cases

[bl-archivistnpc]

Found this super funny comment on pinterest about house

"dabbles in liking men occasionally but in a evil way"

This the best description of house's sexuality EVER

[bl-archivistnpc]

Reblog to save a life

if you hate cameron you will die

[bl-archivistnpc]

Oh my god the amount of people who hate on pro shipping is insane(especially on pinterest),like ya'll wouldn't survive on ao3 like. If don't like a ship just don't click or read or whatever.Please stop attacking the people who do ship .

[bl-archivistnpc]

Lol in my eyes that's every episode 😭

Like what's this sexual tension?????

I've been popping around house md recently just grabbing a random episode every night and doing it like that... it really does show how much hilson is just embedded in the show

I'll think oh finally an episode that has a super interesting case and I'm sure its hilson free. And then house is getting up to go bug him in his stupid office for no good reason while the patient nearly dies for the 5th time

[bl-archivistnpc]

I swear wilson will pop in there like nobody's business even when he isn't relevant to the case at all

I've been popping around house md recently just grabbing a random episode every night and doing it like that... it really does show how much hilson is just embedded in the show

I'll think oh finally an episode that has a super interesting case and I'm sure its hilson free. And then house is getting up to go bug him in his stupid office for no good reason while the patient nearly dies for the 5th time