biya-baby

[biya-baby]

smokey, my pretty baby

[biya-baby]

trigger and content warning: suicide, attempted suicide, depression, vent, trauma dumping. be aware of the tags. please look after yourself, take care and have heart. don't be afraid to reach out. call a suicide hotline if you feel you cant do it anymore. please.

sometimes people dont show signs before they attempt. you feel like a burden to others. and maybe everything would be better if you just...didnt exist.

my most cherished and loved friend attempted. in fact i just got news that she's not well. i dont know what I'll do without her.

at 2 30 smth am i got two texts from her in paragraph form. i saw those at 6 am right as i woke up, because of course she's the first person who's texts i check. she wrote how i was her rock, her confidant, her partner in crime. how grateful she was to have me in her life and how much she loved me. i, of course, responded in kind.

I'm so fucking proud of her and i love her so much that my heart just bursts with it. i dont think there are any words that can describe how immensely i adore and love her.

we met only a couple of months ago, but we used to see each other's instagram account on suggestions all the time. we even have a similar name and the same nickname.

it was fate. at least i believe it was fate. I'm not particularly religious but that moment felt like i finally found the person at the other end of my red string. i believe that God intended for us to meet.

she's not in the same country right now and we've got a minor bit of a time difference too. so by the time i saw her text and replied back, i think it may have been too late. all day I kept thinking and waiting. 'oh, she's just extremely busy and obviously doesnt have the time to check her texts.'

then i find out that she may have attempted. my beloved who said that she would never, ever do that. how it was better to suffer and live. now she's done it.

so, please please please please look at after your cherished ones. please help them. please check on them. they may not show signs but believe me they're going through it. please be their safe space and their support system. please dont let what happened to me happen to you.

i was too late but there's still a chance for you to help your precious people.

i have hope that my beloved hasn't gone on. i pray that she survives. i pray that she makes it back. i pray for this to never happen to even my worst of enemies. i pray and pray and pray, for God to hear my prayer just this once. He's listened before, so please just once more.

"By the morning sunlight, and the night when it falls still! Your Lord ˹O Prophet˺ has not abandoned you, nor has He become hateful ˹of you˺." Surah Ad-Duha (93:1-3)

[biya-baby]

so cool

Gore warning:

The people hath spoken!! The name for the band will be :

GOTHAMS FINEST REJECTS

Hehehehe I have so much I. The chambers you guys don’t understand

So Ik in the past I’ve mentioned that they have stage personas( like palaye royale )

Tim: the Vampire

Steph : the brat

Cass: the doll

Roy: the punk

Jason: the zombie

:)

[biya-baby]

in your company, distinctions fade and the melody of joy and sorrow harmonizes into a grand silence, enveloping us in the tender embrace of boundless love.

-written by Mahy