bigthoughtstinykeyboard

[bigthoughtstinykeyboard]

Hello,

Long time no see, Tumblr. It’s currently 2021, I’m in my senior year of college, and it’s 12:00am. Seems like a lot has changed since I’ve last been on here. Luckily, I’m still kickin in with Jacob. Been 4 years! I can’t believe it. I’m still so madly in love, even though it’s been a bit of a challenge at times. But I’ll take it, he’s amazing. We got a puppy, her name is Bella! We love her so much already and it’s only been 1 month. She’s definitely learning and she’s making us learn too. She makes us better people. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve been on here, and I know I’m the only one that reads these, but I’m acting as this is a long lost diary. I changed my major shortly after my first post, I’m about to graduate with a bachelors in psychology and a minor in sociology. I’m very excited, nervous, scared, and proud of myself all at the same time. It’s been………..a lot. College is a lot. Jacob and I moved into a new place and so far, so good. I hope it continues to stay so great. I’ve learned a lot about life and myself over these past 4 years, I’m now 22 and I’ve honestly grown a lot. I still get really stressed out about literally everything, but I’m trying to work on managing it and letting certain things go. I’m also still working on how to better love myself, it seems like a life time journey. I know I’m rambling, but I like to just release my thoughts at random because I’m random. I currently work with autistic kids and I just passed my 1 year mark. It’s been so wild, I’ve learned so many things yet I still feel like I know nothing. It’s incredible and frustrating at the same time lol. I am thinking about continuing my education in this field, but as you can see, I tend to switch it up a bit. But I guess I didnt change it by much, with my major that is. Being 22 has taught me a lot, it’s taught me that life is just an endless cycle of always having shit to do and never having time to do it all, but still getting shit done anyways and somehow still find time to hang out with friends and drink. I’ve been having a blast with the bar thing and all that, it is so expensive thought it seems impossible to become an alcoholic. I never want that, I’m just saying it’s expensive af. I’ve grown up a lot and still have a lot of growing left to do, I almost hope it never stops. I wonder where my life will take me and where I’ll be the next time I somehow remember that this site exists like I did tonight and reminisce about how life was when I wrote this. How nostalgic.. ✨ goodnight world, see ya…….. whenever 🌍❤️

[bigthoughtstinykeyboard]

I don’t think I actually have any followers on here, lol. Well, internet... here goes nothing. 

Lately I’ve been so busy I can barely think. With school, work, family, friendships, and life in general, it seems as if I am drifting away from connecting with my inner self. I tend to argue a lot with my mother and I think it’s time for a change. It’s 2019 (crazy), and I think I want to start doing things for myself like getting out into the world and living life. I want to go to more concerts, more events, more social settings, but I also want to make more time to just relax. It’s rare that I find myself just laying in bed with a warm blanket and watching a show I've always been curious about or just listening to music with the flickering of a candle reflecting on the walls around me. I am always so busy and my stress levels sky rocket, especially around the end of the year and anything important that is approaching. I long for the summer nights of being a mindless teenager looking for love, alcohol, and freedom. I wish I could go back sometimes. Life was simpler. High school couldn't go by any slower for me and now that it’s over and I am almost done with my first year of college, I have realized that I took it for granted. Being young sucks when you’re young, but the older I get, the more I wish time could slow down and take a breather. 

Random thought: I got a tattoo.......... what???? Yeah. Andrew and I decided to get matching tats while he was back home on leave. I am not sure if he thinks about it the way I do, but it kind of feels like whenever I look at my arm, I am looking at his too because we have the same one and it’s like he isn’t that far away at all. (Despite he is like 900 miles away in reality). 

Okay, I was talking about life moving too fast. Yeah, I basically explained how I feel about it already. There’s times in my life where I feel like I cannot wait for the future, but I know it’s coming. The present is what we tend to forget about. We can’t get it back once it’s over! Like my tattoo says, “Take your time, don’t life too fast. Troubles will come, and they will pass...” 

[bigthoughtstinykeyboard]

[bigthoughtstinykeyboard]

Adding white to a small space does wonders. This seems to be about the size of my current bathroom and look how clean and open it looks! I love this style. 

[bigthoughtstinykeyboard]

Hello, all! Welcome to my blog. I have never done one of these before, I guess I never really found time to do so. I wanted a way to vent my thoughts and find people who relate to my life without feeling uncomfortable. So, a few clicks later and I ended up on Tumblr! I guess I can start by explaining myself a little since this is my first post. 

I have a twin brother named Andrew who is currently in Missouri for Basic Training for the United States Army. Hooah! I am SO proud already and it has only been about 3 weeks. He and I are very close so this has been and is beginning to get really difficult and odd to handle. He and I always talked. Every day. Not kidding! And now I am going to absolutely nothing accept memories and a few short letters I get in the mail sometimes. 

I work a part time job and have a wonderful boyfriend whom I will have happily been with for a year on Wednesday the 27th of June! I live in a somewhat smaller community in Southern Colorado and while many people I know despise this place, I don't personally mind it. For me, it is in the perfect spot. Not too close to the big cities of Colo. Springs and Denver, but also not longer than about a 2 hour drive. I love being able to see the mountains all around me and being able to get to them in a matter of minutes. If I could, I would spend all of my days venturing out into the wilderness and learning more about plants and the weather. I have always secretly been in love with the way Mother Nature works and how one second it could be 45 degrees and the next you’re wanting nothing more than a swimming suit and a pool. Yet again, that might just be the climate of my town as many say. Good old Pueblo! 

Lately, I’ve been trying to find new ways to keep myself occupied at nights when my boyfriend Jacob works graveyards. We always say we are a “buy-one-get-one-free” package. We are always together and honestly, I am not complaining about it. He is so wonderful to me! He treats me the way every girl wishes and deserves to be treated. He cares for me like you wouldn’t believe. He is definitely a rare breed. From the way he rubs my back when I am cramping and feeling sad or sick, to the way he holds me and dances with me and just purely loves me. I could go on and on..... but I know most people don’t want to hear it. Oh wait- isn’t the whole point I wanted to make a blog was to talk about what I am thinking about and vent? Find a new post if you don't like it, people! LOL

Anyways, I am about to start college in August at CSU-P and I will be majoring in Sociology with an emphasis in Criminology. School is my number one priority at this point, as it always has been as a child. I graduated high school with a 4.3 GPA on a 5-point scale and I have been awarded many scholarships. (not nearly  enough, though! College ain’t cheap, y’all!) I am pretty nervous honestly. There will be so many new people from tons of different age groups and there will be SO many really pretty girls that I could never even compare myself to, but that's any college I guess. I just want to find my path and make the big bucks one day. I am thinking about going for my Masters but I will have to see how I like the major first. I also kind of want to take an automotive class and cosmetology courses, but sadly, I don't have the time or funds to do everything at this point. Hopefully down the road. I want to expand my education badly! Someday....

I doubt anyone has even gotten this far on my post because really- who is up at 10:06pm thinking to themselves, “hey I want to read Emily’s post SO bad right now!” I can think of maybe 2 people LOL. Kudos (is that how you spell that?) to you if you did! Thank you! I hope you are learning more about me. I hope to utilize this blog to post about my life and my thoughts and anything and everything I find interesting or useful. (I consider food useful. It is! Don’t argue. You need it to survive.) 

As you can tell, my mind wanders and I sometimes get lost in my own little world, but that’s okay. Lately I feel as if I am not doing it enough. I am always going and doing something. It is good for me to write this all out. Welcome to my little world! I hope you find it worthy of returning to.