bigmickswingin

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The largest human coprolite (fossilized turd) we have is an impressive 8in long and 2in in diameter, the depositor was riddled with intestinal parasites, a Viking living in, or at least shitting at one time, the settlement of Jórvík, present day York.

It was found in 1972 under a site which was to become a Loyds Bank on Pavement street. 2in may not sound like much, but, for reference, that's about the length of a business card, or the diameter of a coke can at the lid.

Just imagine passing a coke can through your asshole, and you may get an idea of what that person was doing, and what further untold experience a Valhalla dooker would be.

Finding the maximum dilation limit has proved less straight forward than I expected, however an estimate I am seeing often is 5-8 inches, or in other sources, about 7 inches (an estimate I have heard before) so, it stands to reason, that a Valhalla turd would have to exceed this to the point of like a catastrophic rupture of the anal sphincter.

There's your butthole facts for the day, I hope we're taking notes.

Imagine unexpectedly popping up in Valhalla with your pants around your ankles because just half a minute ago you were taking a shit so bad that the Viking gods decided that it should count as dying in battle.

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remember when you used to look stuff up and the first result was always wikipedia :(

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no way ppl are using ai to write ao3. what happened to being a tortured writer. what happened to blood on the page. what happened to the ao3 curse. people used to get run over, have their houses burned down, break their entire spines and they still put in the work to finish a chapter. fuck you, using ai. y’all are weak

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ape like be high up. next question please.

what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.

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What a fucking loser. Reblog if you would love that skylight.

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(If you aren't sure, test it by holding your ring finger completely straight and trying to bend your pinky.)

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god gives his coolest girlfriends to his most loser reddit bros

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*vomits a dead mouse on your lap* affection uwu

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Dean Martin visiting Audrey Hepburn during production of SABRINA (1954)

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Hey @captain-johanssons-wooden-ear, i'm having mimosas (well, so-called "trailer house" mimosas, which is cheap beer, traditionally Miller Highlife, and orange MD 20/20) wanna come over and cough?

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“face the truth as it is instead” disintegrated him

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I meet Jeff the Killer and it goes like this:

Jeff the Kill er? I hardly Jeff the know er!

He Jeff the kills me

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Not an idea or anything so much as a meme I made in honor of my friend’s PC, Bartholomew, who’s been in three different campaigns and, as of last Saturday, been mauled to death by wolves in each one.

I love it

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Because of woke

Hey artists. None of you fuckers told me the cubes were supposed to be in perspective. Fuckers.