big-horrible-the-northside--blog

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Thai Coconut Chicken

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

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Home of the Sun Bowl

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May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

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sade was feeling it that night

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I had reblog this twice cause it’s Sade

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El Paso Herald, Texas, January 6, 1928

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Reblog if I can leave you a sexually uncomfortable message.

😋

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(via BurkhartAdriana)

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But they’re two men how can they raise children “right”?

So this is my attempt to start blogging on a regular basis and its also PRIDE month and for my meat head MMA fans we’re not talking about the old organization from Japan but rather our fellow American’s of the LGBTQ persuasion. So I wanted to touch on that. My comments aren’t really intended to upset folks but rather create dialogue and extended thought. At the end of my day my whole purpose is to try to get people to think. Here we go. So I was in prison the other day, not as an inmate but rather as a facilitator of the 24/7 curriculum and to be honest I don’t know how we got there. Many times conversations go places that I had zero intention of them traveling to do. That being said this was one of those cases.

I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones. I’m the stereotypical rap song or movie about the kid from the hood about a kid who escaped and all the blah blah blah....that comes with being from the hood. While that defines me just as much as being a Navy veteran, a dirtbag, a Muslim, black, a husband, and a father who lives to help people reach their Growth and Development. So teaching in prison is something I love and cherish. Most of my folks who escaped the trap left and understandably so. Many of us, most of us see it as being turned into salt after being a get away free card never to return. I apologize for being so verbose my first blog, and I’ll try not to be from this point on but this is the set up for everything else I plan to write from this point on. I feel those of us who have escaped owe a debt, and that debt is only paid through going back and helping anyone else wanting to get out with the direction needed to do so. But what in my own personal view I got from the Navy, I got in the hood. Leadership, but hood leadership vs military leadership are two different things and I promise I’m getting there just jam with me. The thing is we qualify leadership and skill sets honed in uniform as being worthy of respect and worthwhile. But I learned the same lessons hanging out with my Folks over on ol’ Trans Mountain. The only difference is how we ply our trades. My time in uniform is well respected and applauded by strangers who cross the street when encountering kids who have the same songs in their phones or mp3 players that I jam too. My time in the hood, isn’t as revered, and often met with how could you ever be friends with “people” who live like that. That being said the two types of work took me two different places. The hood took me to a funeral home to say goodbye to a friend. Which woke me up and led me to the Navy. The lessons and time I spent there also led me to funeral homes since 9/11 but it also gave me access to a new type of understand which was college. It was the trade off. Eight years in uniform turned into a Master’s degree. One that I used to teach in prison. Many of the men I get to sit and talk to in an intimate setting are products of hood leadership. We wax poetically from everything from Kanye’s bitch bad but what the fuck is wrong with homeboy? To the sixth session in the 24/7 AM book which is titled “The Father’s Role” which is where the I guess you can say how we got “there”. That’s when a man asked me Lee what do you think about all that transgendered stuff and two men raising children, especially young boys. You think they can teach them how to be men? I sat and went back to my personal mantra, which is there are only two types of people on this planet. Good and bad, people who suck and people who don’t. Black or white, Republican or Democrat, Gangsta or Vice lord, Muslim or Christian for me personally they all fall into that box for me, I judge them all based on my interaction with them even if your a Sigma or a Zeta. “There is no right or wrong only a song”, like Cole said.

So I asked him, you’re a two time felon, most of your adult life spent incarcerated; meaning you’ve shirked your duties as a father. Do you believe you’re built better than two men or two women rooted in what I hope to be love to raise a child because you prefer pussy over another penis? (It’s prison, we have real conversations and use real language. Sorry not sorry.) He took a second, looked me dead in my eyes and simply said yes. I said I don’t have all the answers and this is only my opinion. My opinion led me to believe just as much as I feel he is redeemable as a man regardless of the crimes the government said he has committed and put him in this prison to atone for he is able to be a better man, Christian, brother, husband, and father simply because he loves. He loves his wife. He loves his sons and daughters. He loves. While that love is different based on who he dotes his affection on and their gender I have to believe that love is love. I have to believe that the love of a father locked away far from his kids who aren’t able to visit in person is still strong. I have to believe that the love of this man for his woman even though he hasn’t laid in the same bed as his wife in years. I don’t see that love any different than the love I express to my daughters or wife. My students I’ve attempted to teach and counsel through their young lives over the years. I can’t allow myself to believe that love is different because it is shared by two people of the same gender, or one is trans and the other is whatever label they choose or refuse to label themselves with.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, welcome to Horrible tries to blog. I’m not pro gay rights, I’m not a straight person apologist. I’m just a man trying to find his way in this world where I didn’t get to write the rules. But know this love. Don’t be scared to show it. Don’t be scared to live your truth. Tell that person you love who you’re terrified of their response you love them. Just love. You get one legit shot at this life. Max out. Leave nothing unsaid or did.

I have to believe that love is the most important aspect in any relationship. I refuse to feel it is any lessor because it is practiced by people who only by some rule I didn’t write are admonished for living their truth and not a lie. I don’t know how many more of these I will write. I plan to do it weekly with the hope that a writing bug infects me and makes me spill my soul on Tumblr, because I love writing.

The majority of what this blog will be about is to be rooted in fatherhood issues. Triumphs, difficulties, failures, struggles the everything's and the nothings in between.

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I don't necessarily think people hate black people, I think they hate niggas, and that I could understand, its just that the real racists haven't taken the time nor the effort to figure out who's black, and who's a nigga. Me

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I've been told I needed a tumblr because I treat my damn facebook page the way I'm supposed to treat this page, so here we go! Hope you enjoy reading and this shit becomes amazing or at least people enjoy reading it and spread the word like its the herp.