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Trying to watch hannibal without subtitles:

Hannibal: Mmmbdmsnn, Will? Did you sjduk mmfndm hdudhebjsbj jdjdinsk?

Will: I don't even know who I mnfmmd dmdjndm sndmnd even when shhsmmdi ajsjdjdm mcmcmcm... ndjdnmd mind.....

The music:

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the absolute funniest plot of nbc hannibal is the fact that the fbi is looking for a serial killer that is highly skilled in evading the police and has been killing for decades in multiple countries, and then they hired a guy who showed up to work like this every day to catch him.

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GOD. still the funniest transition in the show bar none

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Gonna spam some old art

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the besties three drinks before ruining aragorn's wedding

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New kinda guy just dropped and I’m here for it

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"come home and see my girl cave :)" I say flirtily. You agree, imagining a rec room with some couches and maybe a few vintage consoles. I lead you down into the basement, where I have carved out a slimy grotto with its own ecosystem. by the time you see me dive into the water and come up with a fish in my teeth, it's too late. You want to fuck me so badly.

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Honestly if we didn’t share the planet with funny little animals I would have fucking lost it years ago

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Lbr if you’re not Christian in America christmas is essentially the holiday you participate in so you don’t get bullied into oblivion and beaten with sticks and hammers

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On page 100+ on pornhub because none of them look like they are in love

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when i was a high school senior, there was a kid in my grade who wouldn't run the mile. everyone was required to run a timed mile to pass gym, and he wouldn't do it. the thing was, if he didn't pass gym, he wouldn't graduate. it was already spring.

it wasn't like he couldn't run a mile -- he was a football player, athletic. huge popular kid, boisterous, with a warm smile and a swarm of friends, who gave people nicknames. you know the kind of guy. for that matter, one could walk the mile if one wanted, you just had to do four laps at any pace. it didn't matter to him. he didn't say so, but it was a pride thing. it was demeaning. he was right, we all knew it and admired him for it, but like. he wasn't going to graduate over this.

this standoff went on for weeks. the principal was not going to allow it. this kid didn't come from a family where everybody graduated high school, and the principal wasn't going to let this kid be denied a diploma over something this stupid. but he was up against -- if i was informed correctly -- a state law. you had to run the mile to pass gym, and you had to pass gym to graduate.

the principal, who is a man i knew well, and still know, and admire, didn't make an exception for this kid. he also didn't force the kid or threaten him or even try to reason with him and wear him down. instead, he made the following deal.

"you and me," he said, "are going to run the mile together. we're gonna do it after school, so nobody is there but us, and your friends, if you want. and i will wear the stupidest, goofiest, ugliest tracksuit i can find, so nobody will be looking at you, they'll be looking at me. tell your friends to take pictures." and that is what they did. the track suit was cyan and magenta and yellow and purple and our principal looked like a goofy dumbass. the kid graduated a few months later.

i work with kids now and i think about this all the time, and why what the principal did worked. he could have cracked down. he could have said rules are rules. he could have said, ok that's your choice. he could have even had the idea, and dismissed it because of some notion about not undermining his own authority. but he didn't. he identified exactly what the actual problem was -- why won't this kid do this thing he clearly must do? because it hurts his pride. and instead of insisting, as so many adults do, that pride is a luxury that young people neither deserve nor can afford, he said ok. how can i fix that. and by making it seem, in a fun and harmless way, like the kid was humiliating him, he made the difference between the kid having a high school diploma and not. sometimes that's all it takes.

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"guys in a spaceship" is really one of the genres of all time. like no way dude i wonder what they're gonna do in the spaceship this week

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I'm sorry sir but no a "shrimp" did not in fact fry this rice. you're lumping crustaceans together in a very unhelpful and bigoted manner. our chef is a giant freshwater crayfish.

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Henry Clerval and the creature