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Gettin' Through the Holidays Mental Health Tricks

If y'all are anything like me, this time of year is triggering AF. Here are some small, very easy grounding exercises that I was taught by my therapist, basically in order of how much I like them for this rage-inducing season. You make like them in a different order, depending on your rage-to-despair ratio.

Push a wall: literally go up to a wall and try to push it over. Really try. I promise you won't push it over, but give it your best shot. Try to hold it as long as you can, and then take a breather and assess whether you need to repeat. Why it works: This is a quick, physical expulsion of the fight-or-flight feeling. It's a bit like punching a wall, but without the potential to hurt yourself/look scary/damage things. You can even do it in front of people and say you're stretching, they'll never know (unless the wall actually falls down, but this will not happen, I assure you).

Shake like a dog: Animals shake to release stress, and you are also an animal. Setting aside time to just shake it out, as vigorously as you can, arms and legs, face, stick your tongue out, pretend you're shaking like a wet dog. You can dance instead, if that feels better, and you can do this to music, but basically the more unhinged you can be, the better. If you are in a place you can scream, scream too! Why it works: like the above, this is a release of pent-up stress and anxiety. Especially if your rage-to-woe ratio is high, some kind of physical exertion is often the best way to burn through the cortisol and adrenaline you're building up.

Bilateral Tapping: Cross your arms over your chest so that your fingertips are at your shoulders, and slowly tap, one hand at a time, back and forth, for about a minute. Breathe slowly. Why it works: This is weird as hell, but because this engages both sides of your brain, it helps override the activity of the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that Makes The Fear. If you're being literally triggered in a situation, i.e. you're having a trauma response, or reliving some family trauma, this is a good one.

Box Breathing: From a comfortable position (can really be seated, laying down or standing), inhale slowly for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then repeat. You can do it for shorter counts or longer counts, but if you vary the counts make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. You can close your eyes or leave them open. Why it works: This exercise helps you move from a sympathetic (activated) nervous system response to a parasympathetic (balanced) response. I do this one every day, and it's a good gateway to meditation. Especially helpful in anxious or tense situations, but I find if I'm very triggered I need one of the other ones first, or it can make anxiety worse. Breathwork is amazing but not usually as a first exercise if you're very activated, or have been activated a long time.

Ice: Lots of ways to do this one – hands in cold water for 30 seconds, ice pack on the back of your neck, dip your entire face into a bowl of ice water (this one's the most effective). Why it works: I kinda think this is hilarious, but this activates your mammalian dive reflex. It immediately slows your heart-rate, so if you are feeling your blood pressure and heart rate rising, this one is very good. The only reason this one's at the bottom of my list is because I hate being cold.

I wish you all a very get-through-the-holidays-without-hurting-yourself. Take time alone if you need it.

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If you have a chronic illness, you may never get well:

A bulleted list, because I cannot process big blocks of words.

You may manage it better or worse than other people with the same chronic illness.

You may have days where you feel Iike giving up.

You may have days where you are at peace with your illness.

You might feel awkward when people tell you to "get well" or ask if you're "feeling better yet".

You might feel hurt when people tell you to just be more positive.

You might want it to just be okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or tired, and it is.

You might feel guilty sometimes, because you feel like a burden, or like you're letting everyone down.

You might not be able to work.

You might feel like a faker, because of what you CAN do.

You might need a mobility aid or medical device.

You might have no visible signs of illness or disability.

You might need different accommodations than other people.

You might feel hurt because people say, "I wish I had it so easy."

You may feel like you really need to talk about it, but people don't want to listen.

You may have a hard time convincing doctors to help you

You may need a lot of help and rely on another person or people.

You may have no one to rely on.

You may feel like you are all alone with this experience.

You are not alone.

You are not a faker.

You are not less than.

You don't owe the world your soul.

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Christmas Present Puzzle!

My cartoon for this week's Guardian Books

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Prior to my surgery, they asked me constantly if I had eaten anything that day and if I had any metal in my body. Every new person interacting with me asked this and I am not complaining. But I have anxiety and the more I got asked the same question, the more insecure I became. Correct, I did not eat anything. Well, I think. Maybe I forgot? Or ate while sleepwalking? I never sleepwalked but how would I actually know? Can I really say a resounding "no"? I took out my earrings and have no other piercings, no other surgeries in my past. But did I really take out the earrings? Really no piercings? Maybe I should check again?

Bonus: when entering the surgery area I was also asked my full name, birthdate and type of surgery by everyone. Except for the very last nurse who rolled me into the operating theatre and only asked my name and birthdate and not type of surgery. That caused some anxiety too until I saw my surgeon and was reasonably sure she would perform the correct operation.

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Is the stitching messy? Yes.

Will my little second cousin care? No, he’s a baby.

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Babby Jesus- World’s first metal-head?

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makin soup

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(Ann Brennan Designs)

“Anne Shirley, I wouldn’t trade you for a dozen boys.”

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The drainage* has been removed! I feel exponentially better already. I can move properly again and I am looking forward to a good night's sleep.

The city center was so FULL! People everywhere. It was exhausting and annoying. But we are home now and got some yummy food and bubble tea.

(*not sure if this is the correct medical term in English. Basically, one step closer to healing)

Sry for not responding. Am recovering from an operation. Surprisingly exhausting.

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Happy almost Christmas!

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Yuki ❄️🌨️

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Sry for not responding. Am recovering from an operation. Surprisingly exhausting.

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The Christmas Stalker.

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What's cake she is baking? 🤔😼