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“A long time ago I learned not to explain things to people. It misleads them into thinking they’re entitled to know everything I do.”

— Lisa Kleypas

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“So I stopped talking about it. There’s no need to talk, because the truth of what one says lies in what one does.”

— Bernhard Schlink

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Tumblr Code.

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Reblog this if your ugw is between 90-120 lbs

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“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say My tooth is aching than to say My heart is broken.”

— C. S. Lewis

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“You are so good. So good, you’re always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, don’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.”

— Silas House

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i wanna die and i don’t wanna die both at the same time

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“As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself.”

— Haruki Murakami

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“People disappeared, reappeared, made plans to go somewhere, and then lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

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When you look back today will be just a small dot on the timeline of your life. You can do this. You can get through this.

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it’s never too late to start again. 5pm on a thursday can be your new monday. you don’t have to wait until the new year to better yourself. time is an illusion, don’t forget that. just because you woke up at 1pm, it doesn’t mean you messed your whole day up and that you can’t turn the mood around. it’s never too late to start again!!!!!

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PLAYLIST “..Or Die”

Also known as the songs I shouldn't listen after 11pm but I do anyway because I'm dumbass who likes to cry.

Chord Overstreet — Hold On

Lord Huron — The Night We Met

A Great Big World — Say Something

Billie Eilish, Khalid — Lovely

Lewis Capaldi — Someone You Loved

Miia — Dynasty

Ben Cocks — So Cold

Saturn — Sleeping At Last

Passenger — Let Her Go

Tom Walker — Leave A Light On

Jaymes Young — I'll Be Good

Tom Rosenthal — Go Solo

Dean Lewis — 7 Minutes

SYML — Mr Sandman

Dean Lewis — Be Alright

Matthew and The Atlas — Counting Paths

Bastian Baker — Hallelujah

Alec Benjamin — Let Me Down Slowly

NF — Let You Down

Foster The People — Pumped Up Kicks

Marshmello, Khalid — Silence

Billie Eilish — Six Feet Under

Alec Benjamin — Water Fountain

Alec Benjamin — If We Have Each Other

Alec Benjamin — Must Have Been The Wind

Billie Eilish — Ocean Eyes

Fink — Looking Too Closely

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Hey guys! I’ve finished it faster than I thought so here is the thinspo routine I promised you.

But, please, READ THE RULES! It’s a very tough one and I'm very worried to you guys. It’s okay for you to not handle it, it’s okay to give up. Stop it when you reach your GW. I don't you guys getting sick or whatever. Please, promise me you are going to take care of your health. DON’T DO IT MORE THAN 4 WEEKS!

Let me know what you think about it! Thanks for all the support!

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10-29-19

Starting November 1st I will not smoke anymore. I’ll focus on school, my goals, etc. I have to be better.

November goals:

• Working out for 1 hour a day.

• Raising my grades up.

• Detox. No smoking.

I know that not smoking will be a big challenge for me for a variety of reasons but I have to remember why I’m doing this.

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A way my therapist has told me to approach childhood trauma is thinking about the child who went through the traumatising ordeal. You may resent yourself for not fighting back, not doing enough, or not running away, but you need to see the young child who was there, the one who needed protection, not persecution

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C-PTSD Symptoms

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a type of PTSD that is caused by severe, repeated trauma, such that involves captivity, manipulation, and entrapment. It is trauma that is long-term and involves an inability for escape. This trauma occurs long enough to deform one’s sense of identity and self.

There is no mandated list of criteria for C-PTSD in the DSM-5, but there are six clusters of symptoms that are currently used for diagnosis. These major, core symptoms of C-PTSD are:

Emotional Dysregulation - This involves severe mood swings/dysphoria, impulsive behaviour, self-harm, and suicidal preoccupations. This could result in explosive anger, or extremely inhibited anger, or both. It could also result in either compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (i.e. hypersexuality or sex repulsion/trauma-induced asexuality, or both.) This also involves difficulty expressing and communicating emotions.

Consciousness Instability - Forgetting traumatic events or reliving them is a part of a struggle with consciousness. Sometimes reliving trauma can be either through intrusive thought, or preoccupation with the trauma. This also involves dissociation, which can cause severe consciousness interruption and memory gaps.

Self-Perception Issues - The trauma that causes C-PTSD messes with the ego, so its symptoms results in a skewed perception of self. One might feel helpless, full of shame and guilt, like a constant victim or a horrible person, feel defiled and disgusting, and/or believe they are completely separate from other human beings altogether.

Distorted Views of the Perpetrator - Becoming preoccupied with a perpetrator, whether it’s allotting total power to them, developing a preoccupation with them (such as revenge or seeking to find others exactly like them), or clinging onto the idea of being special to the perpetrator, would all be examples of distorted views.

Struggle With Interpersonal Relationships - Avoidance, distrust, paranoia, a sense of inability to connect with others. One with C-PTSD might also be constantly searching for a ‘saviour’ figure, and could also go to great lengths for self-protection.

Loss or Change in System of Meanings - The beliefs one held before trauma changing or going away completely, such as religious faith, or one being succumbed with despair or feeling like there is no hope.

Outside of the six clusters of general symptoms, the other symptoms often associated with C-PTSD are:

Revictimization - Those with C-PTSD are particularly vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. Many will be revictimized if they are not taught how to read red flags, as those with C-PTSD may seek to relieve trauma without realizing it because they don’t know anything else.

Hypervigilance - Increased anxiety and sensory input will make the survivor hyperaware of everything in their environment. This may result in paranoia, in extreme jumpiness, etc. Someone with C-PTSD will be constantly feeling like they are in a dangerous situation, and thus be hypervigilant due to that. (This may cause someone to be constantly in fight mode, or flight mode, or freeze mode, etc.)

Unexplained Physical Symptoms - Hypervigilance exhausts the body. This is what most professionals believe leads to chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, headaches, nausea, chest pain, and various other physical symptoms that range from mild to severe. This pain cannot be explained by other existing medical conditions.

Dissociation - Degrees of dissociation range. It is common for those with C-PTSD to deal with chronic dissociation, which can lead to emotional numbness, feeling unable to focus, inability to connect to one’s identity or reality (depersonalization and derealization), and memory loss. To a severe degree, it may result in identity splitting, which would lead to comorbidity with Dissociate Identity Disorder.

Substance Abuse - It’s not uncommon for those with C-PTSD to struggle with substance abuse, whether it’s alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. Some may also use sexual contact in the same way.

Attachment Issues - C-PTSD can cause various problems with attachment, including hyperempathy or a lack of empathy, an inability to accurately perceive other people’s motives, isolation, seeking out codependency, feeling unable to depend on others at all, and not knowing where personal boundaries lie for themselves or others.

Cognition Problems - Executive dysfunction, inability to pay attention, communication problems, sensory overload, object impermanence.