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Dubai

Early bus across border - sandunes with skyscrapers - T fights ticket lads- burritos + burj khalifa - biggest mall - amazing Syrian breakfast - Atlantis @ Palm free beach/$10 water - marina

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Wadi Shab Canyon

Cave swimming + cliff jumping - sinkhole fish and cliff jump + Indian food - Shaqiya sand dunes - baby camel - sore bum - bahla fort

Nizwa - pricey cave - free fort - tori crash car - cops called - sound translator - chill cops and other drivers - johney sore bum + flu - chill pool day-

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Oman: Muscat

Lost luggage - Great breakfast spot - chess at the wave - corniche and market walk- Indian food

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Dead Sea

Windy road for sheep, credit card points, mud baths, camels - floating on the minerals

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Red Sea

Burgers - polish crew - free snorkels - oul lad- Japanese gardens - eels sea urchins coral - police stop teaching me to say “hello” in Bedouin language

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Jordan

Petra - great breakfast spot - hiking trails, “give me biscuit” friendly Bedouins - long hike - expensive

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Baalbek

Baalbek buses - very friendly locals - huge columns - tanks everywhere - Lebanese people like a cross between Mediterranean and Arabic

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Tripoli

Navigating the buses, Mercedes everywhere- delicious cream filled pancakes at souq - friendly locals

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Lebanon: Beirut

Syrian lawyer did laundry, mosques and churches clustered- low lei people - book cafe - rain + cranberries- Airbnb Samar + documentary film maker chap - book cafe -Vice movie - slick movie theatre

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Haifa + Akko

Bazaars, old city, hummus spot. Cheap Santa chocolate, sushi lads, Masada street coffee + chess, Baha’i gardens, stairs and cats

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Bethlehem + Galilee

Directions from locals- manger church, StarB coffee -Mt Arbel hike, loaves/fishes, schwarma fat guy

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Jerusalem

The quickest way to Jerusalem from TA is the highway through the mountains. We leave our big backpacks with the moped lads and set off. It quickly become apparent that 125cc mopeds are not welcome on the highway as our top speed of 100km makes us a turtle buffeted by the wind of trucks and buses whooshing by. We hug the shoulder and climb the winding mountain route as the the temperature drops dramatically. Chilled to the bone we pull in at a petroleum station to warm up just as a huge storm hits, first hailstones subsiding to just torrential rain. We wait it out and make a burst for east Jerusalem, the Palestinian side, made even more difficult by the existence of the huge wall dividing the city and Google refusing to map Palestine. It’s immediately obvious when you enter Palestine territory as the occupying Israeli forces have checkpoints and there has been little to no funding for roads or infrastructure. T uses the directions given by our Airbnb host (left at the wall with the giant mural etc) to guide us through the maze. Our host is a very welcoming local woman and when I run out to the surrounding shops to get groceries, the locals are really friendly and interested. Prices are way cheaper here than Israel. After I get back I head up stairs where our host lives with 3 other older women to borrow a lighter for our gas stove and T cooks a feast. The room is a bit drafty but we crank the electric heater and bed down.

Our host BLANK cooks us a delicious local breakfast and we head to the old city, using maps.me to find our way back to the highway. We can drive all the way into the city on the moped with no parking fees so we get a head start on all the tour bus zombies as we enter through the Jaffa gate, past the Tower of David and head through the old brick streets to find the churchgoers the Holy Sepulchre, built on the site of JC’s crucifixion. There is a definite sense of history in the old streets now lined with hawkers of every imaginable souvenir of the 3 main religions to whom the city is sacred. The Holy Sepuchre honors stations of the cross and has an inner tomb said to be the tomb of the big man. The solemn air is tempered by the Chinese tourists taking selfies but there are worshippers from all over the globe in various states of emotion as they touch the stone where a piece of the true cross once was kept(the cross has been eroded to nothing by touches and nutballs biting off chunks to keeps as holy relics).

Weaving through the narrow arched streets from the church we enter the Jewish quartet where the Western(wailing) Wall towers above the hordes of supplicants. It is actually a huge retaining wall supporting the Temple Mount, the hill in the middle of the old city where the 2nd temple stood. The story goes that in 70 AD the Jews were cast out of Jerusalem and the temple destroyed. Now the Jews don’t enter Temple Mount in case they step on the Holiest of Holies so instead they pray at the western wall where the divine presence still resides. The wall is split by a divider, one side for men to pray and another smaller side for women. Sporting a freely provided kippah I got a closer look, passing a group of Hasidic Jewish kids and many rabbi praying loudly and emotionally while touching the wall. Up close you can see that the white outline around the huge stone blocks is actually scrunched up bits of prayers pushed into the cracks.

Quick picnic in view of the Western Wall before we’re informed by heavily armed guards that Temple Mount is only open to non muslim tourists twice per day for an hour so we head to the wooden walkway and pass through security to get to the Dome of the Rock. This is sacred to Muslims and only second to Mecca itself as the spot where Mohammad ascended to heaven. The golden dome is almost impossible to look at directly in the gleaming sun but the cypress tree plaza built after the Muslim conquest is the most chill place in the whole city above the bustle of the old town and the modern city in the distance. We end the day by hiking Mt of Olives to the church of the ascension and head into modern Jerusalem for a coffee and a game of chess before the ride back into Palestine.

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Palestine/ Israel: Tel Aviv

Israel is fairly small and we are able to hop a couple of buses to our beachside hostel. It’s basically an old apartment building and we’ve a bedroom in it but it’s a minute to the man made beach...,

Tel Aviv is like a mix between a California beach town and a greek island, simultaneously pricey, laid back and friendly. We walk the promenade and find that the most engaging area is Old Jaffo district which is still predominantly Muslim. There are narrow cobbled streets and a huge clock tower and as it was a Saturday everyone was out celebrating Shabbat eating and drinking in big groups. My colleague Zach is Jewish and have us great recommendations for food all over the territory. After I retrieved my credit card from the shawarma place..we chose to eat at Abraxas in downtown TA and it was easily one of the best meals we’ve ever had; roast cauliflower, fresh bread, hummus + fresh cream and a huge dessert platter left us rolling back to our gaf. There’s definitely a striving to be cool/western about TA that made it difficult to love with the latest trends out in force, electric scooters and flash cars exhibiting millennial wealth. Our last night we stayed in an Airbnb with a couple of gay bartenders and sorted our moped rental for the week to explore the holy land....

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Budapest

Budapest in January was very cold with snow flurries making the architecture even more imposing against the backdrop of the Buda hills. The little apartment we rented in the Jewish Quarter of Pest was in a renovated Nouveau building and within walking distance of everything. What can only be described as a Romanesque gypsy hipster checked us in, giving us a few tips on restaurants in the Jewish district. Budapest is spilt by the Danube and the Buda hills historically hosts the wealthy neighborhoods looking down to Pest on the eastern shore which is flat and now hosts most of the best restaurants and cafes.

Hungary used to be a much larger country and its primary people trace their lineage back to the Magyar people who mifrared from the areas of what’s now Finland and western Russia to the Carpathian Basin in the 9th century. As I was told by my glacier guide in Iceland - this is why Hungarian and Finnish languages still have so many similarities. In our experience Hungarians overall were very friendly and chilled out, with most of them speaking good English. We toured the coffee shops and great restaurants of the Jewish quarter for the 3 days we had. Our favorite restaurant Koleves had $3 wine and delicious local food.

We happened upon the Basilica of St Istvan, towering above the seuuroindung buildings and playing host to the great kings right hand. Crossing the Danube bridges in the freezing cold we visit the Royal Palace and Fishermen’s Bastion which gives us a view of the colossal Parliament buildings that contains 691 rooms and 40Kg of decorative gold.

Hungary has been settled or invaded by the Romans/French/Turks/Austrians/Mongols/Nazis/Soviets so the influence of the different architectural periods is very obvious as we trekked up to Heroes Square and wander round Hogwarts Castle (Vajdahunyad Castle) modeled on a fortress in Transylvania where kids are ice skating on the frozen lake.

With all this cold weather we decide to take the tram back to Gellért hill and take a dip in the Gellért baths which is as ornate as a cathedral with marble and murals on the ceiling. The baths are varying temperatures with 40C being the hottest and it’s a great place for people watching. We track a few specimens, quietly speculating about their nefarious back stories as we soak in the thermal water. On our way back we pass the Dohány Synagogue en route to to our favorite restaurant. Bed early and up at 3.30 to catch the 2 buses that take you to the airport. We catch the first and use up most of our change, just having enough for the second bus taking us to the airport, we’re off to the Middle East...

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[bestspuds]

Iceland Saga : Volcanoes Hlaciers and Bankruptcy

We arrive in the dark which is a common theme in Iceland in January, 5.5 hours of daylight is the norm in winter months. We quickly learn that Iceland is maybe the most expensive country on earth (5th apparently). The bus to the station near our hostel 30 mins away in downtown is $50 US. We try to hitch s lift with a few people renting cars but no luck so there goes the budget. We hike through the blowing snow and sludge with our backpacks and find the hostel, make a quick pasta and turn in.

Up at 6 as we’ve to catch the seldom seen public bus to the stop near our camper rental. The bus ticket app barely works with our shockingly slow coverage but the bus driver takes pity on us. At goCampers we pick up Reno, our Renault van and luck out that the chap doubly applied our $50 off coupon! The roads have a thick layer of ice and snow and it quickly becomes clear that its like an icy version of Mad Max fury road with locals flying along at breakneck speeds, Asians driving huge camper vans very slowly in the middle of the road and tour buses dragging a blizzard behind them as they pass.

We strike out for the huge geyser spewing hot gas through thermal pools and after warming up in the hut push on for Gullfoss waterfall which is like a frozen Vic falls with the spray freezing on our eyelashes. That evening we drive out into Thingvellir National Park yo stargaze and await the northern lights. We grab some shut eye on the back of Reno and hop up when our alarm goes off to realize our car is surrounded by buses apparently we picked a popular spot! Some clown opens our door and tells us to dim our lights, he quickly retreats after a few harsh words from Johney and we emerge to gaze skyward with the masses and the shimmering green lights dancing across the sky. Just as suddenly as they appeared, the crowd disperses and leaves us with the lights to ourselves.

Thingvellir National Park is situated between two tectonic plates, the only place on land that can claim this mantel. There is a huge fissure between the plates filled with the purest glacial water on earth. Water temperatures hover at 2C kept from freezing only by the fact the water is flowing through the fissure. Naturally we decide snorkeling in the fissure is a once in a lifetime experience and we don gear that Neil Armstrong before plunging into the fissure and floating along for and hour. The water is so pure that visibility is only limited by the reach of our eyesight and we can see 350m down into the fissure where there’s an abundance of aquatic life and mermaids. When we emerge and waddle to change in the van our Estonian and German guides save Tori from hypothermia with hot chocolate and chocolate biscuits, once she stops shivering enough to walk, we explore the National Park along the walls of each tectonic plate. A few hours driving across deserted roads in whiteouts and we come across a massive waterfall pouring off a cliff near the road and illuminated by huge spot lights, the mist from the falls freezing as it lands and creating a gleaming forest of stalagmites. We obviously camp nearby and explore the waterfall again in the morning, finding another only accessible through a crack in the cliff with an ice cold river flowing through it.

After a couple days in the van we need a bath so we head off in search of an abandoned hot spring pool up in the mountains. 15 minutes hike and 2 river crossings later we come across the swimming pool sitting on a ledge and surrounded by snow covered mountains. The hot spring water is just warm enough, diluted by snow melt and we dive in to swim lengths, we’re joined by a Wisconsin and German couple and shoot the breeze with them as our hair freezes. A frantic towel dry and relayering and fast hike back and we head off to search for the wreckage of a US Navy plane that crash landed in 1973 on Solheimasandur beach. The crew survived the crash but the carcass of the Douglas DC-3 adds to the dystopian scenery, abandoned on the snow covered dunes of the black sand beach.

Iceland doesn’t have many towns, with 65% of the population living in Reykjavík. One of the next largest towns is Vik and we stop here to watch the sunset on the beach, the black sand and sea stacks even darker against the fresh snow and whitecaps of the crashing waves. After the sun goes down it’s another harrowing drive across the frozen tundra to arrive late at Vatnajokull National Park (Europe’s largest) where we setup camp beside a glacier. The 10 mile hike the next day takes us past Black Falls aka Svartifoss which is crashes over cliffs of geometric basalt columns, to several view points, Our foot steps are the only thing marking the trail and we regularly sink to our knees in the deep powder but it’s worth it Ashe finally get a birds eye view out over the blue ice glacier.

Jokusarlon is a glacial lagoon where huge blue icebergs calve off the Breiðamerkurjökull glacier and float to the sea. The massive chunks of ice glitter in the sun as the slowly drift out of the lagoon mouth and down to the sea where they rest on the blank sand at low tides like frozen meteors. We stroll around pretending we’re in Batman Begins and then head back to the glacier. T stays in the warm van with the heater on while I don crampons and helmet to join a glacier walk. I speak broken French/English with a French chap on the walk and our Hungarian guide leads us up and into the blue ice caves furthering the other planet vibe. The tonnes of ice glisten menacingly overhead and in places the ice has an almost polished look to it. We tramp back across the glacier as the sun goes down and myself and the Frenchman get tired of the chattering fatties slowing the group down and strike ahead for the campsite, arriving right before the freezing rain hits.

Our last day in the coast we spend strolling along the beach and then stop into the lava factory, we’re too early for the show but the owner allows a free look behind the scenes of the machinery they use to produce molten lava, the kiln hits temps of 800C and the lava chef is just a lad with goggles and a shovel!

That evening we find another ‘free’ campsite up near the blue lagoon and wait out the storm in our toasty van. The blue lagoon is the best known attraction in Iceland, it’s a black lava field where they have built a state of the art spa fed by the bluish green water from the futuristic looking geothermal plant. We check in and thrown on our swimming togs before splashing around in the blue water of varying temperatures. After washing off our silica masks and drink our green smoothies we proceed to people watch, the main draw being heavily made up English and Irish girls wading around panicking with their faces beginning to melt. On to Reykjavík and I return the van with the help of the public bus (only not expensive thing in the country). Our hostel is downtown so we head to a spot called Icelandic Streetfood which was the best decision we’ve made in our lives. The place is run by a few young Icelanders and the recipes are all from one of their grannies. The menu contains just 5 dishes but there are legitimately unlimited free refills and free desserts so we order lamb stew and potatoes, stuffing ourselves to the pumping 80s soundtrack. We stroll back in the snowstorm fit to burst passing Tjornin lake and the peaky roofs of the traditional houses and climb the hill to the hostel. Tomorrow it’s on to Hungary.