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[benzaremba]

A Tribe That's Tied

Hey tribe,

So years from now when Tumblr is the MySpace of today I want to login and see all the little memories that I’ll probably have forgotten by then. Memories of this one weird and fun and difficult class I took when I was 17 and in high school.

I want to remember getting vintage soccer jerseys from the closet I want to remember Kreinbring stealing food I want to remember Lila turning to Bridget I want to remember playing kick ball And the learning tree Ben becoming Bean And every single person in this class

It’s funny how significant seemingly insignificant moments truly are.

Anyways, just want to say thank you so much. Thank you AP Lit for being so unique. I’m grateful for every person. I’m grateful for our humble instructor and for every time we got rhet-or-RICK- rolled by him. I’m even grateful for having to re-do some papers because I know it made me better.

When I think about what I’m saying goodbye to- I know it isn’t rhetoric or language or writing or even necessarily the people, but it’s the combination of them all. Somehow this class allowed us to be real. More real than we could be in other classes and although I hope it’s not something that will go away, it’s what I’ll say I’m going to miss the most. Even so, I wish I could have gotten to know even more of y'all individually. I learned so much but still know there’s so much more I could learn from all of you.

We might not always have eachother, but we’ll all have similar things there for us but we’ll have the lessons we learned, the memories we made.

And through this change Even as you’re miles away

Your writer’s notebook is always there for you. As is mine. And so in some sort of a way, we’ll still be tied.

[benzaremba]

It's Goodbye, but it Isn't the End

Mr. Kreinbring, I remember the first day I ever spoke to you. It was back in my freshman year. I had heard ALL about you from my brother, and in my mind, you were a kind of a formidable but supercool celebrity. Apoorva and Tanya would talk about you and your class all the time at our Indian potluck parties, and I couldn’t be more excited yet intimated by your class. You were built up to be this huge monument in high school, and your class was this tall mountain that I’d one day get to tackle. So, at the end of my freshman year, when I had this idea to get all of my brother’s old teachers to sign a birthday card for him, I had to muster up the courage to go and talk to you. I was so scared. I stalled walking down the eng wing for the whole day. I distinctly remember looking down the hallway and turning away at least 3 times. When I finally did have the courage to go up to as you stood outside by your door, I remember I had the squeakiest, quietest little voice ever. You didn’t know who I was, not really, but you were excited about the card and about my brother, which made me feel great. You were actually kind (well, relatively speaking). I don’t remember anything after that, which probably is because I mentally passed out after the relief of not being yelled at.

After that, I didn’t talk to you again until AP Lang. I thought I was so ready for that class. I was ready to be the best damn Lang kid ever. You didn’t scare me anymore. I was ready for everything you’d throw at us and I couldn’t be more excited.

Then, the first week of class, you gave us the Allegory of the Cave, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I wasn’t ready at all. Lang was one of the most ground-breaking, universe-shattering classes I’ve ever taken, in an entirely good way. In Lit and Lang, I had to break old molds of how I’d done school for so long, and relearn how to learn. I had to learn to trust the process, which goes a lot deeper than just the process of doing a project or writing a paper. I had to learn to trust the process of Lit and Lang, and that once I went through it, once I let the classes teach me what they had to teach me, once I put in the work to understand, I would come out a better writer, a better reader, a better speaker.

I learned so much. I wish I didn’t have to use those words because they sound so cliched and overused at this point, but it’s true. That’s why cliches exist. I learned so much. These classes taught me how to think, how to read and understand and how to talk about my thoughts. They taught me to watch out for how language corrupts thought, taught me defense against the dark arts, taught me that what you call something matters, taught me that…. This class was everything for me. It was the class that stretched me when I didn’t want to think too hard, and it made me grow as a student- for realsies. At the end of this year, I was so ready to leave. I was so ready for new adventures and new beginnings. I was ready for everything the world would throw at me, because I felt invincible after getting through your class. But once again, I have never been more wrong. I’m not ready to leave at all. I’ve made a new home in a new cave, with a new mask on, but this time, it’s one I actually like. It’s one I want to keep, one that helps me see better. And I’m not ready to leave. I have found a home in this class, next to people who aren’t just classmates but friends and a crazy old qook of a teacher. This class was my safe space and also my unexplored, unbound territory. It was comfort blanket and my adventure pack. It was everything.

Thank you so much for everything. Thank you to you, to the class, to the people who I sat in those seats with, who made this experience possible. Thank you.

Sincerely, Riya

[benzaremba]

the end

after 13 long years with some of you or 1 short one with others and everything in between, it all is coming to an end now.

i can honestly say i have no idea what to do with my life now. there’s no ap lit to complain about, no kreinbring picking a fight every 5 seconds, no daily discussion with all of you about almost anything we can think of. for me to say “i’m not ready to say goodbye” would be an understatement because each of my classmates and Kreinbring, even you, changed my life. i am not the girl i was 4 years ago, 2 years ago, last year. I’ve grown immensely and learned a lot about who i am and where I want to end up. i’m not ready to let go of the class and the classmates that got me there.

although it’s a great feeling not having to go to school and not be required to read or analyze or any of that, i miss our class already and i miss our discussions. i miss seeing all of you and i miss the feeling of us being together and us facing problems together.

lit and lang is a collection of great memories and theyre all special for different reason. my favorite project we did was probably the big lang project that we designed ourselves because it was fun but it also taught me a lot about working with people and time management. in class, one of the most rewarding days was when we did the cave. that allegory messed us all up and the existential crisis was real for that whole week but it’s this inside joke that we all have and it’s an allusion that we make all the time with each other. it is so relatable and you can apply the cave to almost anything and even though that day messed us all up, it was extremely rewarding in the end. Obviously, turning in the final lit project was a great day and an amazing feeling. it was a party and we all put so much of our hearts and souls into that project that turning it in took a weight off my shoulders and it was such a happy day. building forts and #aplang16sub will always be special memories. this class and these classmates are so full of memories and connections and love that i can’t believe it’s time for me to leave the common space where we meet 5 days a week. i don’t want to leave the class behind or the connections and discussions and the memories we all have. it doesn’t feel over, but i know it is.

kreinbring- you. i dont know if i hate you or love you but i am thankful for you. last year i was terrified of you. i knew writing was something i wanted to do but i also knew you tore claire’s papers apart. i was afraid of failing. i was expecting a grumpy old man who made us harkness a lot and told us we were stupid and though you can be a grumpy old man, you’re not what i was expecting. in a weird way, you’re encouraging. you helped me find confidence in my writing and my ability to succeed. you helped me learn and you made me actually feel smart. your class was innovative and forward thinking and it taught me more than any other class i’ve ever taken. you set your expectations high and we had to meet them. you pushed me to be the best writer that i can be and i would not be at this level if you weren’t there chewing up my writing (in a semi-nice way) and giving me criticism. you’re one of the most incredible teachers in this school and for that I thank you. thank you for listening to us and caring about what we want to do, thank you for being our leader and thank you for stepping back sometimes and letting us figure things out for ourselves. thank you for letting us fail. thank you for teaching me that failing is the way you have to learn some lessons. the lessons i learned in my 2 years with you are lessons i will take with me for the rest of my life. thank you.

to my classmates- thank you all for crying with me, laughing with me, growing with me, singing with me, dancing with me, talking with me, protesting with me, reading with me, writing with me, learning with me, and graduating with me. we did it. whether we are ready to walk out of the cave and face the sunlight or not. whether we are ready to stop naming shadows or not. whether we have the mask on or our face grew to fit it, whether we are free from or free to, whether we like it or not, it’s time to go. i can’t wait to see all of you succeed. i’m equal parts terrified and excited.

thank you ap lit. thank you kreinbring.

goodbye.

[benzaremba]

Oh The Places We’ll Go

I have never felt more attachment to a specific class than I have to AP English. It’s basically been one class, with a few people between joining or leaving from both years, but the most of the people have stayed together. Gosh it’s been a great ride, where do I start. 

Both classes just had such an impact on me. Ms. Allan was an amazing person, but I was in an Honors 10 class where I didn’t feel comfortable, I never felt like I could really be myself. I never wanted to be myself, I never had the desire to be remembered by anyone in that class. It wasn’t the place for me, but I wanted to find that space where I could thrive. AP Lang is where I thrived. 

Low key, everyone always stressed about the work, and was always mad about all the work, and the constant stress, etc. To be completely honest, I have never been upset with both classes. There has never been a time when I’ve been genuinely mad about work, or stressed so much that I wanted to die. There were times where I was stressed, but I felt that early on we were taught to deal with it, and it wasn’t that bad. I have never enjoyed being in a class more than I have AP Lang and AP Lit. It was such an experience, I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

AP Lang is where I started to really find who I wanted to be as a person. I started to be characterized by certain things by certain people, and it ended up being some of the best characteristics I have. One simple spelling mistake gave me a marking, a name: Bean, that would stick with me for the next two years. Something that grew from a simple spelling error would end up being something I identify with, and am proud to be. Ben would sometimes be forgotten, left out or ignored, had some self confidence issues or had a lot of doubt in himself, but not Bean. Bean was something that gave me life, and I am really glad I made that spelling mistake. 

All the lessons we learned early in AP Lang were lessons that literally changed most of our lives. The Cave, oh my gosh. I think about The Cave almost every day because all I want to do is work on leaving it. That lesson hit me particularly hard because I had been a deep cave dweller for most of my life. I’ve been sheltered and strict rule follower. There are people who disregard the rules, which isn’t a good thing, but there are some people where breaking the rules isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes you need to break the rules and destroy the cultural norms in order to get where you want to go, and that’s maybe not a lesson I learned completely in this class, but it all fits into this idea of the cave. We are finally about to step out of the cave, but I feel prepared. Sure I’m absolutely terrified, but it’s just life. We just have to go out and live life. We are members of the tribe, and the tribe doesn’t just read but it’s gonna change the world. Whether it’s defending against the dark arts, or leaving the cave, our little tribe is gonna do great things. 

Thank you Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you for pushing us off of points and out of the cave, or at least trying to. Thank you for teaching me how to write, and how to enjoy writing. I’m gonna be honest, I was a terrible writer earlier in high school, I also hated writing with a burning passion. Now, it’s all different. I love writing and I feel so much more confident in it than I ever have. Sure it’s not at the level of some of my classmates, but from where it was almost two years ago, it’s a stunning improvement. 

Thank you Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you for dragging us out of the cave. Thank you for teaching us how to use our voices, and teaching us how to think and how to argue, but not what to think and what to argue. Thank you for providing us with a safe space where we could all come during AP Lit and for some people hate everything about the class, but the classroom itself felt like home. AP Lit this year was one of, if not my favorite class. Our misfit group of students aren’t always cohesive, but it always felt like a family. AP English is where Bean lives and dies, and I am so happy I got to be apart of it. Thank you for everything Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you to all the other members of our tribe that made me feel like I was never alone. I had a lot of great friendships that were built and/or solidified because of AP Lang and AP Lit. Running may not have been high art (I still think it is) but your teaching was definitely high art Mr. Kreinbring. Pinto is eternally grateful for those two classes, Mr. Kreinbring’s unique and extremely beneficial teaching style, and all of the members of those classes. Thank you all for two years of great reading, writing, arguing and learning. Time to tackle the world y’all. <3

[benzaremba]

It is Done

It is done. We made it. We will graduate. I love you all. 

I didn’t do it.

We did it!

[benzaremba]

We are in the final mile of the marathon that was this AP Lit Project, let’s make it a good mile. 

[benzaremba]

It’s starting to make sense

I haven’t spent the latter part of the morning working on editing all of my explications and my two criticisms. I had some feedback from peers and I also had a lot of things I just wanted to fix. I didn’t feel like a lot of my writing was very strong in some spots, but I feel like it has greatly improved since then. All of them have improved, in my opinion, but especially my aligning. I probably almost rewrote my entire aligning because the first time I just felt lost and wrote all of my ideas out in a really long paragraph format. I think I understand what  was doing wrong. 

One of the key things that I think I was missing was the intertwined-ness of the whole assignment. During the criticisms, I was differentiating too much between the different ideas, I wasn’t connecting anything. I would talk about the criticism  and then an idea, and then the works of the author of my book, but I never connected them together and more importantly, I never discussed how they could all connect to the audience. I think that I have improved, I’m not where I could be, but I am on a much better track than I was like 3 days ago. 

[benzaremba]

Death in Catch-22

I just finished annotating my three passages for that part of the project, and Joseph Heller uses a bunch of different literary techniques within these passages and throughout the book. I had so much to annotate, it was pretty exciting. One thing did remain constant across all three of my passages, and that was the theme of death.

Death in Catch-22 is one of the major themes and takeaways. I think that corrupt language and mortality are the two biggest portions of the book, and that both of those ideas are the most prevalent. Death and mortality can be written many different ways, but Heller does it so well. He makes it feel more real than just a fiction book, and some of the similes he makes using death make it even more real. I followed the theme of death throughout the book, and it led me to these three great passages. 

[benzaremba]

Annotations Galore

Honestly, even choosing a theme to base my annotations off of was a struggle. Like, there are so many good, impactful and loaded passages within Catch-22. It’s so unbelievably good, like this mac and cheese I’m eating right now, and there are a lot of loaded passages. It’s really hard to chose. 

Ultimately, I chose passages that were really loaded, but also related to death and mortality. The ties between the sources really focus on the themes of death, and although they are all connected, they all still do focus on specific methods that Heller uses in his writing. They are loaded chunks, and they also do a really good job connecting.]

It was hard trying to pick between the different themes and passages, because every few pages there’s a passage or a few lines that is really detailed and really well written. There’s a lot to choose, and it was a really difficult decision because I really think that I could’ve used a ton of quotes and it was a really difficult decision. 

[benzaremba]

We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.

[benzaremba]

First Literary Review

I finally finished writing my opposing, reviewing my partners (sorry Aparna) and then filling out my revision plan. I just need to adjust my writing, and maybe clean it up a little. I am pretty happy with it. I thought it was pretty decent, and after reading my reviewers and the review I got, I feel pretty confident that I will be able to write the review for what I agree with. I think that there’s a lot to write about with Catch-22, and I am always excited to learn more. 

I actually think that these literary reviews are really interesting, and I think that they really help me understand my own writing and perception of these books and they kind of give me confidence in my writing. I feel that, especially in my opposing, that my view actually matters. The fact that we can disagree with the informed opinion of these literary reviews give me a little credibility as an English student. As Mr. Ernst would say about Calculus, “It’s big kid English”. 

[benzaremba]

me: I'M GONNA DO A THING

me, later that same day: i did not do the thing

[benzaremba]

To agree or not to agree

I am really struggling with my disagree because I honestly think that in some aspect, my literary criticism has a lot of great evidence, but I just don’t agree. I don’t have a lot of evidence to prove them wrong, so it’s a little difficult to fully believe that I disagree, but I still do think that they are a little bit off in their thinking. 

[benzaremba]

[benzaremba]

How does his behavior impact the behavior of other characters? Since he’s the father, he is in a position of power, do you think that this power is what led to the death of Gregor? 

What is the importance of having a character like this, like what do you think that the author is trying to show by having this character?

Those are just some questions I had, and they might help to build ideas. This is kind of like my book, in that death is a really important component. Death is what motivates characters, to live a better life, or in your case, in order to behave differently. It’s interesting to see how characters react and how the lessons that tie with death can be branched into the lives we live. 

The Metamorphosis - Blog #5

Text: “Herr Samsa turned in his chair and quietly watched them a little while. Then he called: “Come now, come over here. Put the past to rest. And have a little consideration for me too.” The women promptly obeyed him, caressed him, and hurriedly finished their letters.

Then all three left the apartment together, which they had not done in months, and took a trolley to the countryside on the outskirts of town” (Kafka, 51).

Quick notes: Herr Samsa is the father of the family and Gregor has just died from starvation and letting himself die. He overheard the conversation that I talked about in my fourth blog which prompted him to let himself die so his family could be free of him and free of suffering.

Response: This is basically the end of my book. This passage was significant in helping me figure out why Gregor’s father was behaving the way he was. This passage was one of the very rare times where he is not being abusive or angry. He actually shows compassion for his wife and daughter who in return show him compassion. This passage also made me realize that he is the most selfish of the whole family; it sounds like he wanted Gregor to die or leave so he could have the attention of his family, the way Gregor had after his metamorphosis. 

In addition to that, I would also like to point out that GREGOR JUST DIED. THEIR ONLY SON DIES AND WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY TAKE A VACATION. This is the epitome of greed and is illustrated very well, but it definitely made me mad.

The end.

[benzaremba]

Catch-22: Death

One of the biggest recurring themes throughout Catch-22 is death. It’s a war book, so naturally death is prominent. Yossarian deals with deal throughout the story, and it leads him to make certain decisions. Heller shows that a lot of the time that death is only an excuse to keep living. 

Yossarian is terrified of death, all he wants to do, throughout the book, is to stop flying missions so that he can stay alive. His whole “motive” is to get out of flying mission because all he sees is his comrades dying. His tent mate is dead before he even got there, and early on we learn that he deals with Snowden dying in his arms, which is a really sad and unfortunate tragedy for him. Throughout the book, death always seems to be around him, and he continues to be afraid of it. 

However one of the interesting things is that his fear of death only lets his other moments that much more exciting and enjoyable. He’s constantly looking for a woman to love, and to enjoy himself in whatever time he has left. Yossarian uses impending death as motivation to live life with purpose. If he’s gonna die, he doesn’t want to do it flying for his country, shot down by his enemies, he wants control. He wants to control is own life. He hates having the obligations that pull him away from living his life. It’s an idea that Heller focuses on within the book, and it can be applied to the real world. It’s living life more purposefully, and really getting to enjoy the world and not worrying about the things you can’t control. 

[benzaremba]

Orr

This blog is kinda lame, but I just have so much respect for this character I just had to make a blog. Orr, that's his name, what's his game? Literally everything. Orr is the real hero of this story, he's the superman of the squadron. He's like Yossarians Oprah. At one point he is taking apart the stove, dealing with minute pieces of plastic and metal, and he makes the stove the best in the entire camp. His planes always went down, and he always saved his crew. ** SPOILER ALERT ** So Orr is so frickin cunning and clever. He uses his "humor" (chestnuts and crab apples) and his assumed ignorance to pull off the greatest escape in the entire book, and he's Yossarian hero. He was a symbol of hope. He was silly and stupid, but a lot of symbols can be silly and stupid, but it was a beacon of hope for Yossarian at the end of the book. He was always calm and collected, unlike everyone else at the camp, and he was really quick thinking. He also pretended to be stupid the whole time, just so people would assume his disappearance was just death. Orr was more than a character, he was a symbol, and an idea that everyone else wanted but didn't know was among them the whole time. Orr made it to freedom