benjiecandoit

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I think I've evolved as a human.

I have never been to the circus but my fiance bought us tickets and so my first thought after it started was "I get it now. I see why people want to run away to the circus."

But then the first animal act came out. They were cute as pie puppers and they seemed to be having fun but I found myself not being able to fully enjoy the pups being precious.

Then out came the horses with much-too-heavy men riding on their backs and doing flips and jumping on and off and I found myself feeling some kind of way about it.

Then came the elephants. Now, I know elephants just have a naturally sad-looking face to any human who anthropomorphizes animals, but even so. It was a momma and her baby and they were put on those much-too-small stands and doing tricks and being cute. But by that time it was too late.

I never thought much about circus animals but I found myself that night just thinking about how the animals are treated to get them to do these wild tricks. Then somewhere I decided I didn't really care; these poor, sweet, precious babies were being forced into these strange and unnatural tricks and even if they were having fun, my mind wasn't allowing it.

I think I have evolved as a human because, seemingly out of nowhere, I cared so much about these animals I've never once spared a thought for. And it came so suddenly. I hadn't a single inkling of a suspicion I'd feel so strongly about seeing animals doing these things. It just happened.

At first I felt proud of myself for feeling so compassionately about the animals. Then I felt disgusted by myself for taking pride in a situation I was doing nothing to prevent. And I don't know what I'm doing from here, but damn, the circus was amazing otherwise. I see why people run away to join it.

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I never played Witcher. Can someone explain Count Olaf to me? I don't understand how this helps him obtain the Baudelaire fortune.

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”What… is that?”

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Who do I have to screw to get a new Animal Crossing?

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The more I look at this, the more I find to laugh at.

I will continue to call The Creature “Frankenstein” and no force in Heaven or Earth will impede that.

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With a president like Trump, it's never been more important to me to bring Lying Cat from Saga into the mainstream.

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But... did you say yes? It's too late for me, but there's still hope for you!

some dude on instagram asked me to be his sugar baby

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The Amazing world of Gumball writers have been unleashed

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And it doesn't get better at 30...

Mood

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But how can you tell? Maybe you were programmed to think you were human?

FUCKING TUMBLR. PLEASE LET ME SEND MORE ASKS LIKE GODDAMN. I PROMISE I’M NOT A FUCKING ROBOT.

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No, but for real. Of all the bizarre movies / TV shows / books they're turning into stage shows, why isn't Pushing Daisies one of them? I would spend my life earnings to see Pushing Daisies the Musical.

all i’m asking is for a pushing daisies movie (and/or musical). someone in the universe, please help me make this happen!!

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The fact Meatball barks every time he passes his human, though. ❤

Corgi on a Carousel

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Villagers in the original Animal Crossing were brutal.

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iconic 

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My boyfriend talks in his sleep.

Usually it's something short and cute, like "huh, squishy." Sometimes it's a melodic hum. Sometimes he even outright sings. But last night. I wish I could have seen that dream. I woke up to him talking, and at first I was all "what are you saying? Why are you trying to talk to me at three in the morning?" Then I listen closer. In his dream, it's someone's birthday, and not being one to accept second best, he starts listing the presents he bought: "For your birthday I got you nine months worth of chocolate, a nine month subscription to WoW, and nine months of..." then he wakes up, sees me looking at him and, with all the class and elegance of an orangutan slurs out "I gotta pee." I lay there and wonder. Who were these gifts for? Why nine months? Was the recipient recently pregnant? Why WoW? Like, he hasn't played WoW for, like, ten years. And I'm just still stuck here thinking about all of this. And kind of bitter I still have three months until my birthday.

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That's a dream I wouldn't mind experiencing.

How Calicos Give Birth. Based on a dream my girlfriend had.

more of my comics on tumblr / twitter / facebook

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Oh my god, the D&D is true, though. In my D&D travels, only 4 of the people I played with were straight men, two were straight women, the rest were all QPOC!

The Gays: *make obviously facetious jokes about Gay Culture™️ and how heteros are banned from certain activities and behaviours for fun*

The Heteros: I can’t believe this violent bigotry I have been subjected to this is the worst act of intolerance in recorded history how can you gays hope to attract allies if you continue to use hateful language like this I just literally can’t even *hyperventilates and dies*

The Gays: