beezesama

[beezesama]

im back bitches

[beezesama]

[beezesama]

me: i love this fic idea i cant wait to write it

me writing the actual fic:

[beezesama]

the Salem storyline in Sabrina the teenage witch is so so good bc like the wizard supreme court or whatever is like 'this man is the most dangerous war criminal in history. he has tried to commit genocide and become a dictator in many different dimensions. we can't give him the death penalty bc he used dark ancient magic to make himself immortal so we've trapped him in the body of a feline for eternal torture. it is the Spellman's duty to hold him prisoner for us'. and then the Spellman's are just like kitty,,,...........we're gonna get him a special pillow to sit on and buy him funny little outfits and cuddle with him while we sleep. he's the glue holding this family together we love him so much

[beezesama]

mutuals i am. placing a very small very friendly baby dragon . in your hand :]

[beezesama]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[beezesama]

"sorry that probably doesn't make much sense" <- for perfectly intelligible & logical statements relevant to the present conversation

"you get what I mean." <- for unparsable non sequiturs

[beezesama]

Atreus: *breathes*

Heimdall:

[beezesama]

Unpopular opinion but-

[beezesama]

Kratos and Mimir giving Atreus "The Talk"

[beezesama]

never thought I’d be crying over a disemboweled hand before but here we are I guess

[beezesama]

“using keep inventory is cheating and you’re not playing minecraft the REAL way” <- this guy cant get home by jumping into a 100 block deep ravine 

[beezesama]

dude stop trying to garner context and character traits from the objects in my room i know youre doing it. stop clicking on shit im not gonna tell you about - oh that picture is of me and my dad. yeah he's not really in my life anymore i just keep it around cause im sentimental- DUDE

[beezesama]

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

[beezesama]

[beezesama]

oouuh, oouuuhhh!! we are hiring! we are hiring!! we are sooOO desperate for workers we will take anyone !! OOUUHH labor shortage!!!! pleaze let us hire you!! ouuUUUHuuuUhh................ Your application has been rejected. You are not what we're looking for at this time. We're sorry.

[beezesama]

(reuploaded cause i actually drew the tall hater! now they're whole... girlfriendism...)